What is the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting stuff? V - Page 23 - Mothering Forums

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#661 of 1072 Old 04-18-2011, 08:02 PM
 
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I was told I was depriving my kiddo too for the exact same reason.  well, technically they said 'I'd feel like I was depriving my kid!' but you know.. same thing really.  Whats funny is, it came up within a conversation about school lunches and how some private school with 'fancy' (their word) lunches was also doing lunches for the public school their kids went to and how apparently they didn't understand how a school could serve it at all because kids won't eat it.  Her example meal was seasoned chicken, rice, and asparagus.  MY kid would eat that...

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I love that I'm not alone with all the zany comments and questions we have received.  Personally one of my all time ones was when i was talking socially about how we don't eat prepackaged food because of GMO/HFCS/dyes/sugar/Etc.  I was told that I am "depriving my children the happiness of enjoying good food.  It's good because it tastes good and makes them happy" 

I was so dumbfounded.  Sadly I bit my tongue about telling her what she was depriving her children of.

 

My second favorite is one i know a lot of homeschooling families get.  "How do you socialize your children if they don't go to school?" .. "Which i usually reply with I had no idea school was about socializing, last time i checked it was about learning."

 

 



 

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#662 of 1072 Old 04-18-2011, 08:02 PM
 
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Ask her how social her kids were before they started school? Were they incapable of having friends/being friendly? If they don't start school at age 5 will they be incapable of being in large groups with people when they are older? I'll never understand that one...


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#663 of 1072 Old 04-18-2011, 08:33 PM
 
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I have a new one! I Took DD in for a well baby check, and the doc asked if we were doing cereal yet. I said no, I just do some fruits and veggies cut up small and she feeds herself. To this the doctor replied "you really need to start cereal. You know if you don't do it soon, she will never be able to learn to eat from a spoon." Never? So DD will be 22 and unable to order soup in nice company because she will never master the super complex task of eating using a spoon? Dang, I guess she is doomed to a life of salad since the window for learning to eat with a fork is apparently much longer. eyesroll.gif
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#664 of 1072 Old 04-18-2011, 08:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by capewell5 View Post

I love that I'm not alone with all the zany comments and questions we have received.  Personally one of my all time ones was when i was talking socially about how we don't eat prepackaged food because of GMO/HFCS/dyes/sugar/Etc.  I was told that I am "depriving my children the happiness of enjoying good food.  It's good because it tastes good and makes them happy"

 


FIL loves to tell me that I'm depriving my son by not giving him dairy...and he's lactose intolerant. I'm 95% he's joking...but it still BUGS THE CRAP OUT OF ME.  He and MIL don't understand why I don't give my 2 year old junk food. He loves fruit and juice so why mess that up?

 


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#665 of 1072 Old 04-18-2011, 08:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have a new one! I Took DD in for a well baby check, and the doc asked if we were doing cereal yet. I said no, I just do some fruits and veggies cut up small and she feeds herself. To this the doctor replied "you really need to start cereal. You know if you don't do it soon, she will never be able to learn to eat from a spoon." Never? So DD will be 22 and unable to order soup in nice company because she will never master the super complex task of eating using a spoon? Dang, I guess she is doomed to a life of salad since the window for learning to eat with a fork is apparently much longer. eyesroll.gif


Well, we should set her up with my son because he never did rice cereal either...and the younger one won't either!


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#666 of 1072 Old 04-18-2011, 09:18 PM
 
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My friend was told that!!  Specifically she was told if she didn't start spoon feeding between 4 and 6 months (but closer to 4 is best) then the kid would never learn how to eat with a spoon or swallow.  I ranted at her about how STUPID that was and how it made absolutely NO SENSE whatsoever and she still went with it because the doctor said so.
 

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I have a new one! I Took DD in for a well baby check, and the doc asked if we were doing cereal yet. I said no, I just do some fruits and veggies cut up small and she feeds herself. To this the doctor replied "you really need to start cereal. You know if you don't do it soon, she will never be able to learn to eat from a spoon." Never? So DD will be 22 and unable to order soup in nice company because she will never master the super complex task of eating using a spoon? Dang, I guess she is doomed to a life of salad since the window for learning to eat with a fork is apparently much longer. eyesroll.gif


 

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Originally Posted by lunarlady View Post

I have a new one! I Took DD in for a well baby check, and the doc asked if we were doing cereal yet. I said no, I just do some fruits and veggies cut up small and she feeds herself. To this the doctor replied "you really need to start cereal. You know if you don't do it soon, she will never be able to learn to eat from a spoon." Never? So DD will be 22 and unable to order soup in nice company because she will never master the super complex task of eating using a spoon? Dang, I guess she is doomed to a life of salad since the window for learning to eat with a fork is apparently much longer. eyesroll.gif


There is a well known baby website which has activities to do to help your babies develop certain skills. Most of them are just fun games to help with co-ordination etc but one of them is going through the motions of spoon feeding and the "skill" to be developed is identified as "being spoon fed".

 


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#668 of 1072 Old 04-19-2011, 06:32 AM - Thread Starter
 
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There is a well known baby website which has activities to do to help your babies develop certain skills. Most of them are just fun games to help with co-ordination etc but one of them is going through the motions of spoon feeding and the "skill" to be developed is identified as "being spoon fed".

 


I remember reading that with DS1...I said to DH, "Well, he feeds himself and will take tastes off our spoons...same thing."

 


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#669 of 1072 Old 04-19-2011, 07:46 AM
 
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I was told that I was abusing my child by denying her processed sugar, and that she'd end up malnourished because of it. This person also made a call to CPS about it. 

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#670 of 1072 Old 04-19-2011, 08:13 AM
 
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Originally Posted by lunarlady View Post

I have a new one! I Took DD in for a well baby check, and the doc asked if we were doing cereal yet. I said no, I just do some fruits and veggies cut up small and she feeds herself. To this the doctor replied "you really need to start cereal. You know if you don't do it soon, she will never be able to learn to eat from a spoon." Never? So DD will be 22 and unable to order soup in nice company because she will never master the super complex task of eating using a spoon? Dang, I guess she is doomed to a life of salad since the window for learning to eat with a fork is apparently much longer. eyesroll.gif

LMAO.

Reminds me of my mom's total hang up about Emma eating with a spoon. By the time she was 12 months, she was a complete self-feeder, and I usually just did small bits of food that she would eat with her fingers. My mom went ape-poop. "She has to use a spoon? Why won't you give her oatmeal? She'll never learn to use a spoon!" I laughed and said the same thing: "NEVER? Really? You know I would have thought by age 30 she'd figure it out..." (which earned me the "roll my eyes at my horrible mean daughter" look). She just turned 2 and she uses a spoon just fine.

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#671 of 1072 Old 04-19-2011, 08:18 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lunarlady View Post

I have a new one! I Took DD in for a well baby check, and the doc asked if we were doing cereal yet. I said no, I just do some fruits and veggies cut up small and she feeds herself. To this the doctor replied "you really need to start cereal. You know if you don't do it soon, she will never be able to learn to eat from a spoon." Never? So DD will be 22 and unable to order soup in nice company because she will never master the super complex task of eating using a spoon? Dang, I guess she is doomed to a life of salad since the window for learning to eat with a fork is apparently much longer. eyesroll.gif



LMAO.

Reminds me of my mom's total hang up about Emma eating with a spoon. By the time she was 12 months, she was a complete self-feeder, and I usually just did small bits of food that she would eat with her fingers. My mom went ape-poop. "She has to use a spoon? Why won't you give her oatmeal? She'll never learn to use a spoon!" I laughed and said the same thing: "NEVER? Really? You know I would have thought by age 30 she'd figure it out..." (which earned me the "roll my eyes at my horrible mean daughter" look). She just turned 2 and she uses a spoon just fine.


I don't understand how MY feeding my child with a spoon will teach HIM to use it....


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#672 of 1072 Old 04-19-2011, 08:26 AM
 
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Not terrible or anything, just silly...

 

After a recent long drive in the car, I was speaking with my mother on the phone. 

 

Her: How did the trip go?

Me: Oh, it was fine, except that DD and I both seemed to feel a little nauseous in the back seat for some reason.

Her: That's because she is still REAR facing!  It's time you turned her around.

 

Because alleviating a little minor nausea on one of numerous car trips we have taken is more important than following widely accepted safety guidelines to protect rear facing children in car seats. dizzy.gif  (And there's no telling whether turning her around would have made a difference...I was nauseous on that trip too and I was obviously front facing.)


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#673 of 1072 Old 04-19-2011, 09:16 AM
 
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This isn't the dumbest thing I've heard, but it's the most recent:

 

DH & I are friends with a couple who are expecting their first baby. DH & the father (I'll call him Fred) were chatting about newborns & sleep, and his friend told him that they weren't worried about it at all, they were "just going to organise things" so that the baby would sleep 8 hours a night. DH dug a little deeper and apparently Fred's friend had said that his baby had STTN from the start, so Fred assumed it would be no problem to just arrange to do that too.

 

Because it's that simple - you just arrange it that way! Why didn't I think of that?? lol.gif I joked to DH that while they were at it, maybe they could arrange for the weather to be good too.

 

(Not that I'm in a position to laugh too much - I thought some equally silly things back when I was pregnant for the first time. Ignorance is bliss! winky.gif)

 

 

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I have a new one! I Took DD in for a well baby check, and the doc asked if we were doing cereal yet. I said no, I just do some fruits and veggies cut up small and she feeds herself. To this the doctor replied "you really need to start cereal. You know if you don't do it soon, she will never be able to learn to eat from a spoon." Never? So DD will be 22 and unable to order soup in nice company because she will never master the super complex task of eating using a spoon? Dang, I guess she is doomed to a life of salad since the window for learning to eat with a fork is apparently much longer. eyesroll.gif


LOL! We got that one too, from several people. Why would people say something that so obviously makes no sense?

 

 

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Originally Posted by tooraloora View Post

I was told that I was abusing my child by denying her processed sugar, and that she'd end up malnourished because of it. This person also made a call to CPS about it. 


 

jaw.gif How does she think our ancestors survived??
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Summersquash View Post

Not terrible or anything, just silly...

 

After a recent long drive in the car, I was speaking with my mother on the phone. 

 

Her: How did the trip go?

Me: Oh, it was fine, except that DD and I both seemed to feel a little nauseous in the back seat for some reason.

Her: That's because she is still REAR facing!  It's time you turned her around.

 

Because alleviating a little minor nausea on one of numerous car trips we have taken is more important than following widely accepted safety guidelines to protect rear facing children in car seats. dizzy.gif  (And there's no telling whether turning her around would have made a difference...I was nauseous on that trip too and I was obviously front facing.)

 

 

Ugh, my mother has said similar things. Not about nausea, but going on about how we should turn DD FF so that she would have a better view. Yes, because that's way more important than her safety. eyesroll.gif

 


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#674 of 1072 Old 04-19-2011, 12:58 PM
 
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Ask her how social her kids were before they started school? Were they incapable of having friends/being friendly? If they don't start school at age 5 will they be incapable of being in large groups with people when they are older? I'll never understand that one...


It is a different kind of dynamic that kids learn in a school setting.  Which is why I don't want mine in school.  What they learn is not how to interact with equals, but how to compete with equals for favor of the authority figure.

 


 

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Okay, I don't have any fun parenting advice, since I'm not a parent yet, but this thread is great!

 

People really do pass on advice and ways of doing things without questioning them at all.  My dad's aunt always cut the tips off of a steak before she would fry it.  My dad asked why, and she said she did it because her mother had always done it that way.  He asked her why her mother had always done it that way.  So she asked her mother - turns out her frying pan was too small for most steaks, so she would cut off the corners to make them fit in the pan!

 


There is a story about 3 gorillas in a cage.  They hang a banana in the center of the cage.  When the gorillas go for it, they hose them down with icy water.  After a while of doing this, when they stop showing any interest in the banana, you switch out one of the gorillas for a new one.  When he goes to grab the banana, the other gorillas will grab him and stop him.  Switch out another one of the original gorillas, and the 2 other gorillas, even the one who had never been hosed, will both stop him.  Keep switching them out until you have no original gorillas, and they will all stay away from the banana, because that is how things are done.  Nobody has any clue why, but they will continue forever.

 


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#675 of 1072 Old 04-19-2011, 01:00 PM
 
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I was told I was depriving my kiddo too for the exact same reason.  well, technically they said 'I'd feel like I was depriving my kid!' but you know.. same thing really.  Whats funny is, it came up within a conversation about school lunches and how some private school with 'fancy' (their word) lunches was also doing lunches for the public school their kids went to and how apparently they didn't understand how a school could serve it at all because kids won't eat it.  Her example meal was seasoned chicken, rice, and asparagus.  MY kid would eat that...



 

Whenever i talk food with, non-enlightened folks as i like to call them, depriving always comes up.  Like there is some right of passage to being a kid that depends on eating junk food & candy. 

Of course all of this came out of the same woman who sat and told me to my face that Celiacs disease isn't real, it's just people trying to be different & seeking attention.  banghead.gif    I really, at that point, just walked away shaking my head because there is no arguing with people like her.  Which is sad because it is a very real disease that affects more people than anyone realizes. 
 

 

 

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I was told that I was abusing my child by denying her processed sugar, and that she'd end up malnourished because of it. This person also made a call to CPS about it.

That is just plain wrong.  Since when has processed sugar ever been a nourishment that we can not live without. lol Like someone else stated, How on Earth did our ancestors survive lol

Ugh i can't believe she actually called CPS because of it.  I hope they laughed in her face instead of putting your family through the ringer!


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#676 of 1072 Old 04-19-2011, 02:03 PM
 
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That is just plain wrong.  Since when has processed sugar ever been a nourishment that we can not live without. lol Like someone else stated, How on Earth did our ancestors survive lol

Ugh i can't believe she actually called CPS because of it.  I hope they laughed in her face instead of putting your family through the ringer!


They had been called everyday that week (obnoxious neighbors), so though they came out for every call, they'd already decided I knew what I was doing, and we just had a quick chat at the front door so they could say they checked it out ("We got a call on such and such. How have you been? How is DD? Don't worry, they'll be bored of you in a month, and we'll be coming out for someone else.") They'd also had to come out because I'd traded my DD for a dog. Apparently they'll come out for all sorts of stupidity. They started ignoring the calls after about a week and a half. Between trading her in for pets and depriving her of essential nutrients (like HFCS), I don't know how DD has survived me.  eyesroll.gif

 

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#677 of 1072 Old 04-19-2011, 02:34 PM
 
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I always see this thread in the ranks, but I've never had a good enough story to post here. Until now. winky.gif

 

I have a hyphenated last name (my birth surname & my DH's surname). A couple weeks ago, I went to the polls to vote, and the elderly lady who volunteers at the polling place in my ward was trying to find my name among those of the other registered voters on her list. I jokingly told her, "Just look for the longest last name on the page." She found it and said, "That IS a long name. I hope you don't give your kids that name. You have to think of the little ones, you know." I couldn't believe it... she was giving me some rather meddlesome and rude advice on what I ought to not name my kids! I mean really- whether or not my kids have my name, my DH's name, or some combo of the two is NONE OF YOUR DANG BUSINESS, lady. eyesroll.gif


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#678 of 1072 Old 04-19-2011, 03:57 PM
 
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I don't understand how MY feeding my child with a spoon will teach HIM to use it....


Apparently the difficult skill to master is not bringing the spoon to the mouth, but rather the super complex task of sucking, slurping, or dumping food in the mouth. And since when did being "spoon fed" go from a privilege equated with laziness to a fundamental right and skill all children should master? In the teaching profession we complain about kids who expect curriculum to be spoon fed. Humm...I am starting to see a pattern here.

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I recently got into an argument on FB about baby led weaning.  Apparently it's "too new" for any "sound research" to have been done to convince her it's safe....

 

Where's that head smack smilie???


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#680 of 1072 Old 04-19-2011, 07:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I recently got into an argument on FB about baby led weaning.  Apparently it's "too new" for any "sound research" to have been done to convince her it's safe....

 

Where's that head smack smilie???



Oh yeah, the stares I got/get are ridiculous. Even now that he's 2 I get weird looks when I "let" him eat things that, I guess, normal two year old don't have. (Like, I don't slice up his hotdogs...I just hand him one)


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#681 of 1072 Old 04-19-2011, 07:43 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Summersquash View Post

Not terrible or anything, just silly...

 

After a recent long drive in the car, I was speaking with my mother on the phone. 

 

Her: How did the trip go?

Me: Oh, it was fine, except that DD and I both seemed to feel a little nauseous in the back seat for some reason.

Her: That's because she is still REAR facing!  It's time you turned her around.

 

Because alleviating a little minor nausea on one of numerous car trips we have taken is more important than following widely accepted safety guidelines to protect rear facing children in car seats. dizzy.gif  (And there's no telling whether turning her around would have made a difference...I was nauseous on that trip too and I was obviously front facing.)


My mom would say crap like that, finally I had to spam her Facebook with crash test videos. She actually watched them, to her credit, and I said "okay, now you know that I'm in the city where you think everyone drives crazy-- do you want me to drive around your grandchild with the possibility of someone hitting us head-on, and her being forward facing so that her spine will separate and her neck breaks?"

Haven't heard a peep from her since.


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#682 of 1072 Old 04-19-2011, 10:50 PM
 
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Of course all of this came out of the same woman who sat and told me to my face that Celiacs disease isn't real, it's just people trying to be different & seeking attention.  banghead.gif    I really, at that point, just walked away shaking my head because there is no arguing with people like her.  Which is sad because it is a very real disease that affects more people than anyone realizes.

DH's best friend... with whom I have many issues... insisted until recently that depression wasn't real either, and that me and another depressed friend should "just snap out of it". He said this for years... until he got depression. Now he believes in it, but every time the subject comes up, does nothing but insist we go on antidepressants, and that they don't have side effects... because his sister-in-law is on them, and she didn't gain weight.

 

I'm not anti-antidepressants (as it were), but I don't like the thought of taking them myself... and besides, he isn't on them either. So. Grrr.

 

Apparently he has a great respect for his SIL, though. He has repeatedly stated that breastfeeding kids beyond 18 months is "weird", because that's when she weaned her kids. And someone else he knows formula fed and "her kids turned out fine", so he doesn't believe that breastfeeding is actually better than FF...

 

He is, incidentally, single and childless. :p


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#683 of 1072 Old 04-20-2011, 05:03 AM
 
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Originally Posted by KempsMama View Post

I recently got into an argument on FB about baby led weaning.  Apparently it's "too new" for any "sound research" to have been done to convince her it's safe....

 

Where's that head smack smilie???

 

Originally Posted by AFWife View Post

Oh yeah, the stares I got/get are ridiculous. Even now that he's 2 I get weird looks when I "let" him eat things that, I guess, normal two year old don't have. (Like, I don't slice up his hotdogs...I just hand him one)


People are nutty.

My MIL thought I was giving DD pieces of food because I was simply unaware that babies are usually fed purees. lol.gif 

 

Then of course there were many concerned conversations about how DD was going to choke. The whole reason I we tried BLW in the first place was that DD choked on purees, but did just fine when she had something to gnaw on. She could sit there watching DD happily gumming her food with no problems, and still say "You can't give her that, she doesn't have enough teeth yet!!".

 

headscratch.gif


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#684 of 1072 Old 04-20-2011, 06:33 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Snowflake777 View Post




People are nutty.

My MIL thought I was giving DD pieces of food because I was simply unaware that babies are usually fed purees. lol.gif

 

Then of course there were many concerned conversations about how DD was going to choke. The whole reason I we tried BLW in the first place was that DD choked on purees, but did just fine when she had something to gnaw on. She could sit there watching DD happily gumming her food with no problems, and still say "You can't give her that, she doesn't have enough teeth yet!!".

 

headscratch.gif



I got that comment all.the.time. "But he doesn't have teeth!!!" Of course, I was a "bad parent" in the eyes of some because I didn't start rice cereal at 8 weeks...and let DS go without solids until 9 months (his choice, he didn't CARE about food)

 

I was also a bad mommy because I didn't give him a pacifier...

 

I'm a bad mommy now because I let my DS2 sleep in the swing (he sleeps almost all night that way) BUT when DS1 didn't STTN I was doing something wrong there too


Kas (24), Helpmeet to Stefan (25), Mom to Franklin Gaudelio 4/15/09, Jonathan Boswell 1/2/11
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Originally Posted by Snowflake777 View Post




People are nutty.

My MIL thought I was giving DD pieces of food because I was simply unaware that babies are usually fed purees. lol.gif

 

Then of course there were many concerned conversations about how DD was going to choke. The whole reason I we tried BLW in the first place was that DD choked on purees, but did just fine when she had something to gnaw on. She could sit there watching DD happily gumming her food with no problems, and still say "You can't give her that, she doesn't have enough teeth yet!!".

 

headscratch.gif



I got that comment all.the.time. "But he doesn't have teeth!!!" Of course, I was a "bad parent" in the eyes of some because I didn't start rice cereal at 8 weeks...and let DS go without solids until 9 months (his choice, he didn't CARE about food)

 

I was also a bad mommy because I didn't give him a pacifier...

 

I'm a bad mommy now because I let my DS2 sleep in the swing (he sleeps almost all night that way) BUT when DS1 didn't STTN I was doing something wrong there too


Kas (24), Helpmeet to Stefan (25), Mom to Franklin Gaudelio 4/15/09, Jonathan Boswell 1/2/11
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I got that comment all.the.time. "But he doesn't have teeth!!!" Of course, I was a "bad parent" in the eyes of some because I didn't start rice cereal at 8 weeks...and let DS go without solids until 9 months (his choice, he didn't CARE about food)

 

I was also a bad mommy because I didn't give him a pacifier...

 

I'm a bad mommy now because I let my DS2 sleep in the swing (he sleeps almost all night that way) BUT when DS1 didn't STTN I was doing something wrong there too



We should start bad mommy club - I never gave DD a paci either. I cannot believe how much people carried on about it. My MIL brought it up every time we saw her for the first 6 months. DD was totally, 100% content without one, so what exactly was the problem??


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We should start bad mommy club - I never gave DD a paci either. I cannot believe how much people carried on about it. My MIL brought it up every time we saw her for the first 6 months. DD was totally, 100% content without one, so what exactly was the problem??


 To quote my MIL, "That's because YOU were the pacifier!!!" like I gave him crack or something.

 


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my most recent is my mom's campaign to get me to put a jacket on my son when he's in the car.  not needed - i've got the heat on, and it's safer to not have them have a big jacket inbetween them and the carseat straps.  i've got a coat in the car with us, in case we break down or whatever, but he doesn't need it on.  she kept insisting, until i asked why she didn't insist he have a coat on in the house.  it's the same thing - the heat is on.  she didn't have an answer, but looked like she was sucking a lemon for a while.

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Originally Posted by Snowflake777 View Post





We should start bad mommy club - I never gave DD a paci either. I cannot believe how much people carried on about it. My MIL brought it up every time we saw her for the first 6 months. DD was totally, 100% content without one, so what exactly was the problem??

I never let my babies have pacifiers either.  I almost flipped my lid one day when my MIL forcefully held one in my DS1 mouth & stated 'see he likes it'.  Of course the min she removed her hand he spit it out.  I was even told that my DD was eating too much and i should 'just give her a pacifier to suck on instead of giving her a bottle' (i pumped hence the bottle). 

Over 8 years I had read an article that was finding a correlation between pacifiers and addictive personalities later in life.. really wish i could find where I read it at.

 


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I never let my babies have pacifiers either.  I almost flipped my lid one day when my MIL forcefully held one in my DS1 mouth & stated 'see he likes it'.  Of course the min she removed her hand he spit it out.  I was even told that my DD was eating too much and i should 'just give her a pacifier to suck on instead of giving her a bottle' (i pumped hence the bottle). 

Over 8 years I had read an article that was finding a correlation between pacifiers and addictive personalities later in life.. really wish i could find where I read it at.

 


I tried pacifiers with both of them...and had that reaction. Two sucks and spit. Of course, I got the "you waited too long to introduce it" and "you have to try different nipple shapes." And then when I said I didnt' want them addicted to it she said, "Yeah, [youngest son] was addicted to his until his doctor made me take it away because of his reflux..."

 


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