What is the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting stuff? V - Page 33 - Mothering Forums

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#961 of 1072 Old 10-12-2011, 08:29 PM
 
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Legs are very bendy and get better fast if they get broken. Necks, not so much. Plus, kids are MORE likely to break their legs in a crash forward facing.

 

90% less chance of serious injury or death was what persuaded me on rear facing as long as possible. That and the lovely phrase, "Internal decapitation". 

 

And any WIC employee advocating corporal punishment should not be working for WIC, period. They're mandatory reporters for god's sake! And a nutritionist? Dude, parenting is not your area of expertise. FEEDING is.

 

 


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#962 of 1072 Old 10-12-2011, 09:43 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jenrose View Post

And any WIC employee advocating corporal punishment should not be working for WIC, period. They're mandatory reporters for god's sake! And a nutritionist? Dude, parenting is not your area of expertise. FEEDING is.

 

 



She also went on and on about how she doesn't believe that breastfeeding has ANY effect on allergies at all because she's seen a bunch of kids that were breastfed and are allergic to lots of stuff.


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#963 of 1072 Old 10-13-2011, 05:34 PM
 
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I'm not a report-happy person, but I so would report that to a supervisor.  She's telling young impressionable moms these things.

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#964 of 1072 Old 10-13-2011, 06:18 PM
 
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She also went on and on about how she doesn't believe that breastfeeding has ANY effect on allergies at all because she's seen a bunch of kids that were breastfed and are allergic to lots of stuff.



Yes, because we all know that every issue can be traced back to just ONE cause. *headdesk*

 

There are multiple factors that influence development of allergies. Genetics. Environment. Place and mode of birth. Diet.

 

She's an idiot. And probably not even a good nutritionist, if that's her line.

 

I have two breastfed kids. Once of them has a dad who has allergies too, and was born in a hospital where the first thing they did was shove a tube down to her lungs, thus likely colonizing her with hospital bacteria. She has several allergies.

 

My younger daughter has a chromosome disorder and a sensitivity to citric acid caused by the chromosome disorder, but she was born at home, not messed with, and isn't allergic to anything. Also, her dad has no allergies. 
 

What the WIC lady does not appear to comprehend is that the plural of anecdotes is NOT data. Neither of my kids' stories "proves" either that breastfeeding does contribute or does not contribute to allergies. 

 

But I can tell you for sure that both of them did a hell of a lot better having the option of breastmilk. 


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#965 of 1072 Old 10-18-2011, 01:59 PM
 
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hilarious thread btw...

 

I guess my favorite two are first when the woman on the hiking trail stopped me and pulled me to the side to inform me that my baby couldn't breath because she was in the front carrier with the snapped hood on.  And the second would be from my MIL who insisted DH and I were holding DD too much when she just 3 weeks old, and then promptly started to tell us of a story when DH was that age and he was so quiet and never needed to be picked up that she forgot him at home and went to the hair solon!  She was gone for over 2 hrs before she remembered him -niiiiice. Thanks GMA.

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#966 of 1072 Old 10-18-2011, 02:32 PM
 
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When DS was a couple months old, I was saying I hoped he wouldn't bite me (when nursing) when he got teeth and MIL told me if he did, to just pinch his nose shut for a minute or so and he'd "learn his lesson". Crazy me, I like to give him something else to chew when he bites.

 


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#967 of 1072 Old 10-18-2011, 10:02 PM
 
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Today my coworker was showing me the floor plan of the new apartment she just got. She chose the only layout that had the bedrooms separated by the living room. She said it was her favorite layout because she didn't have to listen to the crying. I said I didn't do CIO. She responded proudly, "Oh, I do! I just don't want to have to listen to the crying, so I want him as far away as possible." greensad.gif Her little one is 10 months old.


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#968 of 1072 Old 10-19-2011, 12:04 PM
 
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Funny how when a doctor (or WIC nurse) tells us they've seen so many _________ ,

they present it as rock-solid evidence to support their infallible opinion,

 

but when offer up our own experience, it's immediately dismissed as worthless "anecdotal evidence."


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#969 of 1072 Old 10-23-2011, 01:56 PM
 
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Keeping in mind that I'm fostering my almost 9 month old nephew, and we've had him for almost 2 months.

 

He gets very frustrated with spoon feeding and does VERY well with self feeding, so we decided to switch to mostly BLW.  My Aunt, who was dead set on my husband and I adopting him, now thinks that I'm a terrible mom because I give him a spoon to "play" (um, practice) with when feeding him things like oatmeal and yogurt - because "they should learn that spoons are tools not toys."

 

Now, I have never had any children of my own, or been around them, but last I checked... to baby, EVERYTHING is a toy and that's how they learn to interact with the world.

 

The other is when she was upset becuase I "let him play with his food." Aparently, when he pushes the food off his tray when he tries to pick it up, or when he squeeze his banana too hard and it squishes between his fingers = playing with food.  Also, aren't babies supposed to explore?

 

Pfft.

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#970 of 1072 Old 10-23-2011, 10:03 PM
 
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Pfft indeed. Sounds like you have a great attitude to baby-feeding! Anyway, my successful careery friend was over here the other day for dinner and hung a spoon from her nose, so this "spoons aren't toys" attitude just seems narrow-minded to me. :p


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#971 of 1072 Old 10-24-2011, 07:03 PM
 
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Whoa. That is some stringent parenting philosophy, not to let the baby play with the spoon! I don't think I've ever encountered someone with that joyless an attitude toward babies before. 

 

I think if you're taking care of a baby like that, he counts as your own, even if you don't wind up adopting him. He's your own nephew, and your own little sweetheart, and just--your own. hug2.gif It sounds like you're great at this--look at how much you notice about him and care about how he feels. I don't think you get to say you don't have children of your own anymore, sweetie. 

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by IzzyTheTerrible View Post

Keeping in mind that I'm fostering my almost 9 month old nephew, and we've had him for almost 2 months.

 

He gets very frustrated with spoon feeding and does VERY well with self feeding, so we decided to switch to mostly BLW.  My Aunt, who was dead set on my husband and I adopting him, now thinks that I'm a terrible mom because I give him a spoon to "play" (um, practice) with when feeding him things like oatmeal and yogurt - because "they should learn that spoons are tools not toys."

 

Now, I have never had any children of my own, or been around them, but last I checked... to baby, EVERYTHING is a toy and that's how they learn to interact with the world.

 

The other is when she was upset becuase I "let him play with his food." Aparently, when he pushes the food off his tray when he tries to pick it up, or when he squeeze his banana too hard and it squishes between his fingers = playing with food.  Also, aren't babies supposed to explore?

 

Pfft.



 


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#972 of 1072 Old 10-24-2011, 07:28 PM
 
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In  a conversation with my friend who has a daughter about the same age as mine (hers just turned 4 and mine is about to turn 4), she was talking about how her dd is not coloring as nicely (i.e. in the lines) as she was a few months ago and how it really bothers her because she thinks her dd is just being sloppy. There have been a couple things going on with them that may have been stressing out her dd, like her traveling a bit for work and her dd changing schools about a month ago, so we talked about the possibility of her dd being a little stressed and it reflecting in her drawing. Then, I mentioned that mine sometimes colors "sloppy" for certain things and how she calls it "scribble-scrabbling" and tells me "sometimes its okay to scribble scrabble" , so maybe her dd has a reason for doing it (and, for the record, while I'm proud of my dd's ability to color in the lines, really stress to her that she can color however she wants and that she should make the picture look however she wants it to). So my friend then went on to say how it happened again last night and it bothered her so much, she was totally shouting at her dd and told her she was going to take away all her crayons and coloring books if she didn't start coloring better jaw2.gif I'm sort of horrified by this and I really don't know what to say when she talks about it...

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#973 of 1072 Old 10-24-2011, 09:17 PM
 
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Whoa. Step away from the crayons, lady. It's COLOURING... if it's not fun, what's the point? Does the kid get in trouble for doing an orange sky and a purple dog? Did Picasso's mom yell at him because the eyes weren't the same size or the nose was on sideways? *headdesk*


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#974 of 1072 Old 10-24-2011, 10:14 PM
 
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This story reminds me of something funny my little sister said when she was three. We lived in a small all-white town (except maybe 2 or 3 people) and she had never seen a dark skinned person, but had a dark-skinned doll named Suzie. She was visiting an aunt and saw a dark-skinned porcelain doll on a shelf and said "Can I bring Suzie over to play with her?" We were never quite sure how to respond to that...
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by smeisnotapirate View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stephenie View Post
"Why does she (my white dd) have a black baby doll?" Me: "Because babies come in all colors...."
OH, I got something very similar when I got my DS an Asian girl baby doll. I got the typical "why does a boy need a baby doll???" and then a really strange "were there no WHITE baby dolls?" I said no, that DS wanted the Asian girl, so that's what he got. Was then told that I should exercise my authority as a parent to "prevent THAT from ever happening again." Prevent what from happening again - my son making his own choices and learning a teeny bit about diversity in the process????


that aside... my FIL came to visit for a few days and, after learning that the baby (7 mo) spends most of the night in our bed, gets DH alone and says "are you sure it's safe for (DS) to being sleeping in your bed?" 

To which DH responds, "how about I raise my kid my way?" and FIL backs off.

I know it wasn't a totally ridiculous questions, just uninformed, but I was really proud of DH for setting the precedent of mind your own business!

 

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#975 of 1072 Old 10-25-2011, 09:41 AM
 
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Even I don't color in the lines all the time. Coloring perfectly in the lines can be stressful, especially if you're already stressed. Most of the time when I'm coloring with DS, I scribble all over everywhere. I make a collage of colored scribbles. It's cathartic!


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#976 of 1072 Old 10-31-2011, 12:47 PM
 
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People are so crazy!! I have had the usual head-to-head with my MIL, complaining that I didn't use a soother, because she wanted to be able to sooth him. Sorry he wants Mamas milk! Ahhh another reason to love BF!

 

One of the dumbest comments came from my SIL after DS was born. I do love her, but she showed her age that day! I was in the room with our doula and DH and I can here that SIL arrives. DH says to wait cause I was trying to "learn" how to nurse. While she is waiting she starts asking DH the stupidest things....was it disgusting? Was there blood everywhere? Was the placenta just so gross? Is he cute? Cause if he is not cute I am holding him.

 

And then a few weeks later she found out that we (well I much to the dismay of DH) decided not to circumcise him. She freaked, no girl is every going to like him, that is so disgusting.

 

While I was pregnant I went to a camping stagette. A bunch of our cousins were there, and my one cousin who is pretty much opposite me when it comes to almost everything about parenting (she has 4 LOs). Starts talking to me in front of everyone there. So you will probably be one of those girls who wants to try and have a natural birth, good luck I think that is just stupid! And you will probably breast feed too, that is fine but your boobs will be so gross after.

 

Oh goodness, good thing the good Lord has taught me to bite my tongue! Not even worth a response, you crazy people!!!

 

And yes I did have a natural birth, it was so wonderful I can not wait to do it again! It was not disgusting it was so beautiful and empowering. And yes my ten month old is still BF exclusively and he is growing like a champ. My boobs are not gross, they are not perky like they use to be but I am ok with that. I noursished my child, that is what matters to me. Every change that is noticeable in my body reminds me that I have the great privelege of being a Mommy to a wonderful little boy. Each stretch mark reminds me of when he was in my tummy and each kick he made and everytime I could feel him move. Loved every minute!

 

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#977 of 1072 Old 10-31-2011, 03:04 PM
 
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I didn't think I would love my stretchmarks, but I also didn't think I would hate them either. I'm not super enthusiastic about them, but I do like them, and they remind me of when I was pregnant, it's like looking at a picture for me, but maybe better, since I can feel them too?

 

And your talking about natural birth reminded me of something. It seems like everyone thinks you(in general) would WANT a medicated birth, you know? For me, it was the furthest thing from the truth. I wasn't terrified of birth, I was terrified of being at the whim of whoever my nurse happened to be, and whoever my care provider turned into during my labor, and whatever the medications did to me(side effects, expected effects, being tied to a bag of fluids). So I felt super free when I found MDC and found out that yes, people can and do give birth naturally, even if they do end up in the hospital, even if they don't want to be in the hospital. My natural birth was super free and super empowering, and while I don't insist that anyone do exactly like I do, I like to spread the word that natural birth can be empowering, freeing, and that it can even be fun! (My son's birth was totally fun!)


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#978 of 1072 Old 10-31-2011, 09:35 PM
 
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while pregnant:

- MIL asking repeatedly if I was sure I wasn't carrying twins, because she thought I was so big.  She also pointed out that she had gained <10lbs during her pregnancies, labor only lasted a few hours and involved a bit of a back ache and that's it, and she felt perfectly fine up until going into labor, with no negative pregnancy symptoms at all. 

Meanwhile I spent the first 15+ weeks of the pregnancy throwing up, and the last 10+ weeks of it with PUPPP rashes all over the place and feeling sick again.  I gained 35 lbs, which isn't bad, but isn't the <10 that she was bragging about.

- my father linking to an article about the 16lb baby born in texas while I was waiting for my results from the GD test, and saying "don't get diabetes.  It's bad."   Like I have some control over getting GD or not!

 

After birth:

DD is only 2 weeks old so far, so not much.

We have a giant stash of cloth diapers ready for her, and told everyone from early on that we were going to CD.  Both my mom and my MIL bought a billion disposable diapers for us anyhow.  Gee, thanks.

DD was ~1 week old and had been sleeping while I finished up dinner.  She was starting to wake up and was going to be hungry.   I explained to my MIL that I was trying to keep everything peaceful so I could quickly finish eating and then go feed her.  MIL starts wiggling the baby's arms and cooing loudly at her (which I said "that's the opposite of calming", and MIL ignored me).  When DD started to cry a bit, MIL suggested me putting some of my potato in her mouth to keep her quiet.

Seriously.

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#979 of 1072 Old 11-01-2011, 05:11 PM
 
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Put potato in a 1 week old's mouth??? What planet is she from??

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#980 of 1072 Old 11-01-2011, 10:42 PM
 
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One of my favorite bloggers, Dr Grumpy, had this on his blog today.

 

 

Quote:
Dr. Grumpy: "Any other questions?"

Mr. Clueless: "Yeah, but maybe it's not related."

Dr. Grumpy: "What's up?"

Mr. Clueless: "My wife is having a baby soon. When does the doctor poke holes in her nipples to let the milk out?"

 


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#981 of 1072 Old 11-02-2011, 09:20 AM
 
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Quote:
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One of my favorite bloggers, Dr Grumpy, had this on his blog today.

 

 

 

ROTFLMAO.gif
 

My roommate was insanely curious about the whole breastfeeding thing after my DS was born. "How does the milk come out? Does like a big hole open up after the baby is born? Does it shoot out like a water gun? What about your old piercings? Doesn't that make it hard? Doesn't it make all the milk shoot out the sides?" When I explained how it actually works... "OMG That's so cool. I have to see! Can you aim it? Could you hit a target?! Look, here, shoot this!" Seriously. He was stuck on the water gun angle for awhile.

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#982 of 1072 Old 11-02-2011, 12:43 PM
 
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One of my favorite bloggers, Dr Grumpy, had this on his blog today.

 

 

 



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#983 of 1072 Old 11-02-2011, 12:50 PM
 
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I love Dr. Grumpy!  He is one of my daily, go-to blogs.

It was a hilarious post.  :)


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#984 of 1072 Old 11-03-2011, 11:11 AM
 
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We have a giant stash of cloth diapers ready for her, and told everyone from early on that we were going to CD.  Both my mom and my MIL bought a billion disposable diapers for us anyhow.  Gee, thanks.


A friend got us 2 packs of sposies. I was irritated at first... but then when the baby was born, it turned out she didn't fit into any of the cloth diapers we had--they were all too large, and we were glad we had those disposables after all.

 

I was more irritated that I registered for specific cloth diapers and my mom showed up with a bunch of Gerbers from babies r us and said that these were the best prefolds you can get now. Um, those are the best prefolds you can get at a brick and mortar retail chain store, but there ARE better ones out there, including the SPECIFIC ONES I REGISTERED FOR. Blah.

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#985 of 1072 Old 11-25-2011, 09:03 PM
 
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"Difficult births are caused by psychological blockage and a lack of faith in the process."


 



If only my HOMEBIRTH MIDWIVES hadn't started this sort of debate with me while I was in labor.  The one who was there (the one I disliked, of course, and who disliked my husband from the MOMENT she met him, since she wasn't expecting him to be in the darkened corridor as he came out of the bathroom in their offices) tried to stage some sort of intervention, sure that I had indeed been sexually abused as a child and that's why things were going so slowly.  No one, and I'm including the OB on call much much later, thought to check his position.  We realized after he was earthside (after the midwife basically DID molest me and subject me to a whole lot of nonsense and borderline abuse, and after major abdominal surgery nearly against my will) that he was posterior AND in a superman pose with at least one hand up at his face.  NO ONE noticed this.  (sadly, I kept having a fantasy of lying down on an ironing board and having hubby lift me at the foot end, to sort of "re-start" things...and of cousre that actually probably could have helped quite nicely, if I'd been able to verbalize it).

 

They just couldn't figure out that ONE half of the "labor" was prodromal and we were only "calling" it labor because the Washington state gestational period clock had dinged days ago (regardless of the genetics of DH himself being a 44 week baby), they didn't even know what "prodromal" was, it seems, and TWO he was in an awful position.  My level of back and hip pain was pretty high (as I'm sure yours was!) but it scared the Hades out of them, and they could not figure out how to HELP ME get through it.  So they threw in the towel (and told me they were leaving me if I didn't do what they told me to do, isn't that fun?) and tossed me to the wolves.  And were surprised when I told them to get the Hades out of there once they got me to the place where they keep the scalpels...

 

I am SO GLAD that you knew what was happening and knew you could do it!  You are my brand new hero, and if the universe gives me another chance at this whole thing (I'm getting older and DS is 7 and we've been trying since he was 9 months old, and I'm not seeing high chances here) I'm going to keep you in mind!!!!!  (and follow any weird ironing board/positioning fantasies that come to mind)
 

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I agree about teasing. But I think that teasing at home, between siblings is good, if they know the limits. I have some fond memories of being teased and laugh over them.


My least favorite part of having siblings is the teasing. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I just don't get the parenting stuff anymore, with a 7 year old who is tall and healthy and happy and active, and smart "despite being homeschooled," and social with everyone "despite being homeschooled," and all the rest.  Of course, no one knows we don't vax, and the friends who were so anti-cloth diapering never once asked me if I'd gone to disposables, and no one knows how long DS nursed (last time I said "OK" was before he turned 7, but I can feel that I could probably still nurse a determined child if asked to right now so milk definitely doesn't just go away, at least with me)....  So I feel kinda free. 

 

 

Oh wait, I do get homeschooling stuff from my MIL, who things we're doing irreparable damage to DS.  She ruins the alone-time she has gotten to spend with him (not much, since she has tried to undermine us from when he was a month old or so) by *quizzing* him.  By, say, asking him to read the subtitles on movies they are supposed to be happily watching (he's on the older side of learning to read, just like his father), and when she quizzed him with math she wouldn't let him use his fingers at all.  I know that not ALL 2nd graders use fingers, but I know that some of them do, and there's nothing wrong with it at all.

 

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#986 of 1072 Old 11-26-2011, 05:33 PM
 
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Milkybean, I'm SO sorry you had to deal with that kind of crap. 

 

I try very hard to leave room for my instincts. With my first, my instincts said to lock myself in the bathroom and not come out until the baby did. We'd have been MUCH better off. With my second, my instincts said "Stay the hell away from the hospital or extensive monitoring" and I listened and it spared us a ton of grief. This time, my instincts aren't saying either of those things, so I'm staying open to all the options. My midwife was explaining to me that there are a lot of pink flags going on, and I finally said, "Yes, and we're 5 minutes from the hospital, and if someone will tell me exactly WHAT the hospital can do that will make me safer right now, I'll go right now." Then she said, "Well, we'd go in active labor." 

 

And I said, "Which usually lasts about an hour for me. I'm not opposed to going to the hospital, I just need a damn good reason that it's NECESSARY, and making everyone worry less doesn't cut it."

 

Seriously. We're 5 minutes from a regional hospital with a level III NICU. I'm safer birthing at home than women who live in the town an hour south of here are birthing in their community hospital. And if my blood pressure needs monitoring closely, I can DO that at home, and go in if it's a problem, but if they want me to go in so they can wake me up every 2 hours to check my bp...well, the #1 thing that causes my blood pressure to rise is lack of sleep.... Give me logic, dammit. I can't sleep well in a hotel room, let alone a hospital bed. Tell me what they're going to DO to make things safer that we can't do at home.

 

So far, they haven't come up with anything. And I've been at L&D twice since 34 weeks, due to illness, to be checked out, clearly I'm not unwilling to go in if needed. Fortunately my midwife responds reasonably well to logic. I'm not saying I'll never go in. I'm just saying I'm not going in without a plan of action and clear indications, not just "We're worried". If I lived 20 minutes away from the hospital, I might feel differently. If the hospital was less suave about homebirth transports, I might feel differently. If I hadn't already birthed two babies vaginally without major complications, I might feel differently. But I've never regretted following my gut instincts about this kind of stuff, and I HAVE regretted doing things "just in case". 

 


Jenrose, Mama to DD1, born 1993, DD2, born 2005, and DS1, Jan. 2012. Babywearing, cosleeping, homebirthing mom with fibromyalgia and hashimotos.  DD2 has a rare chromosome disorder. 

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#987 of 1072 Old 11-26-2011, 06:38 PM
 
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We spent Thanksgiving with my husband's family. It's a 90-minute drive, so as soon as we got there, I had to nurse DD. Afterwards, DH's cousin asked to hold her. DD of course spit up on her. She immediately asked if it was formula or breastmilk. When I said it was breastmilk (wondering of course if she hadn't noticed that DD was nursing, not sleeping), she got this disgusted look on her face, handed DD back, and rushed off to "decontaminate" her shirt (my word, not hers). It was melodramatic to the point of being funny. Formula is stinky, sticky, and stains, but yeah breastmilk is gross. eyesroll.gif


Mandy, )O(  Proud mommy of Taylor (1/6/05) jammin.gifand Abigail (4/21/11) slinggirl.gif
Loving wife of my gamer boy Michael. modifiedartist.gifBlog link in my profile! ribboncesarean.gif
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#988 of 1072 Old 11-26-2011, 07:11 PM
 
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minkajane: That's hilarious! I mean, either way, it's vomit... does it really matter what it was before that?

 

Reminds me of the time I'd just nursed DD and my sister was lying on the floor, waving DD in the air over her head and laughing. Naturally, DD threw up in my sister's mouth. :p My sister is pretty cool, and dealt well with it; but her boyfriend (now husband!), who I don't think had ever seen a baby at close quarters before, was absolutely aghast - and yes, partly because it was breastmilk vomit. He hissed "That was IN SMOKERING!"

 

This is the same guy who nearly fainted with revulsion when my sister told him I encapsulated my placenta. It's going to be hilarious when they have kids. :p

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#989 of 1072 Old 11-28-2011, 11:15 AM
 
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Last weekend a family member said that my 3-year-old DD is dyslexic because she wrote a letter backwards... upsidedown.gif


DH+Me 1994 heartbeat.gif DS 2004 heartbeat.gif DD 2008 heartbeat.gif DDog 2014
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#990 of 1072 Old 12-02-2011, 07:41 AM
 
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um are YOU going to pay 99 cents to buy him a jar of banana baby food--non organic at that?  cause i can  buy a pound of organic bananas for his breakfast for a week for that!

Quote:
Originally Posted by mommy212 View Post

Lately I've had...
(while wearing LO in my mei tai) "Can't you afford a stroller?"


my mom, as I am picking up my LO, who is crying in his seat: "Boy, he's got you trained, huh?"
Also, from the same situation many times before:
"He's just fussing for the sake of fussing."
"It won't hurt him to cry." (which it doesn't literally, but I am not going to do dishes while he cries in his seat... dishes can wait!)
"He's just fussing to get your attention." Well... duh!

More from mom:
"You know, you can quit now. He's got what he needs." (2 weeks, referring to BFing)

"You're not going to feed him rice cereal first?"
"No, I want him to have something with flavor."
"Well, cereal is digested easier."
"Not really, they pretty much disproved that."
"When are you going to start stocking up on jars, then?"
"I'll start making it in a few weeks, and then it'll be in the freezer whenever he's ready."
"You're going to MAKE his food? For goodness' sake, WHY?"

My grandma:
"You're STILL breastfeeding?" (at 3 months)


 


lovin DH since 1/04, SAHM to 3 boys 10/04, 11/08, 11/10 one girlie (1/07), and one 13 wk (10/13) just your average :ha ng multigenerational living family!!
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