What is the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting stuff? V - Page 9 - Mothering Forums

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#241 of 1072 Old 05-28-2010, 09:20 PM
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Leigh, I just want to add another ecstatic
Congratulations!!
to your life

People are weird
Thank you! I needed that today.

People are weird. Like, I'm supposed to postpone or cancel my honeymoon (that we've had planned for nearly six months!) for the engagement party that she had just decided to throw herself three weeks ago.

A lot of my friends are married and I take being type-A to a new extreme (thanks to my Mom, list-maker extraordinaire) so I've helped to plan about a dozen weddings by now and thankfully none of them could have been labeled with the 'Bridezilla' tag. At least until now, that is.

Oh, well. One less person on my Christmas card list. (Although, I'm Jewish now, so I guess I should say my 'Happy Holidays' card list. )

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paintedfire,
Thanks. It really hurt right after it happened but it's been nearly three weeks now, I think, so the pain has faded quite considerably. It's just still hard to think that someone you've loved for so long could be so nasty to you, you know?
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#242 of 1072 Old 05-28-2010, 09:29 PM
 
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"doesn't your insurance let you use any other pediatricians? ?"

plus side, I found a second use for a nursing room today. With two kids, a nursing room with toys means you don't have to chase a toddler while trying to nurse. I'll have to remember that trick.

The other cool thing is I nurse in there to reduce distractions and for the comfy chairs, and the mama with the two kids decided to use the couch visible from the door instead of the more hidden rocking chair and I think it was because she saw me with dd and knew it was okay.

as for parenting stupity, if you nurse a walking kid who asks for "nursing? Nursing?"
Oh man people would hate it that my almost 2 year old says "nurse on this side", pats me, lifts my shirt, drinks and then runs off to play!

I've had lots of stupid stuff said to me, but my "favorite" is from an "Ezzo loving family"
When my first son was just 8 weeks old she asked if he was STTN and of course I said no, because well, he's a BABY...and she said..."well your not being the parent, you need to take charge and make him."

That made me so sad and still makes me sad that parents treat their children as second class citizens and put them through terrible things like that.

Lactivist, Intactivist, CD'ing, BW'ing, ANTI-vaxing CIO & spanking, bed-sharing, liberally minded believer in Christ : Mama to David [3.5y] & Aaron [2y]
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#243 of 1072 Old 05-30-2010, 04:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We're visiting family so I have the "normal" list of comments...

- DS should be done nursing by now (he's 13mo AND I'm pregnant)

- GMIL: What are you gonna do with two? You won't spoil the next one like you did this one.

- GMIL: Does DS still sleep with you? "yes" What are you gonna do when the next one gets here?

- SIL: Hopefully you'll have a girl and then you can be done!

Kas (24), Helpmeet to Stefan (25), Mom to Franklin Gaudelio 4/15/09, Jonathan Boswell 1/2/11
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#244 of 1072 Old 05-30-2010, 05:00 PM
 
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- SIL: Hopefully you'll have a girl and then you can be done!
Yeah what's up with that one? I hear it all the time, "Maybe your next baby will be a girl & you'll be all done," ummm I didn't know the gender of my babies determined the number of siblings they get??? Not to mention I would love for my son to have a brother (or 2, or 3, plus a sister or two...)

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#245 of 1072 Old 05-30-2010, 06:27 PM
 
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I've heard a million-mostly from my toxic mother who has to have things her way. Some are:

1) When DD1 was born my water broke at home. I called the doctor who was to call me back in 15 minutes. Mom kept insisting I had to go to the ER right then because when your water breaks the baby can't take longer than 6 hours to arrive. 28 1/2 hours later DD1 was born.

2) From birth she kept insisting on DDs watching TV ALL DAY to learn. Because a 2 week old can learn ABCs?

3) Car seats don't have to be installed correctly to work.

4) 85+ degrees and DDs have to be bundled in at least 4 layers to be warm?

5) Fruit flavored candy in a plastic cup = fruit cup = healthy
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#246 of 1072 Old 05-30-2010, 07:09 PM
 
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leaving the baby to cry for 2 hours at a time at night,
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My favorite one she told me about was her ped telling her that because of swine flu and RSV this year, he was advising all his patients to stay home. All winter. So she did.

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#247 of 1072 Old 05-30-2010, 10:14 PM
 
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LOL. Adorable picture, though.

this is what my son was wearing that day at the library.
I know this is off topic now, but I LOVE that little cardigan. It looks like something a little old man would wear! I want it.

I posted this somewhere else, but it works for this thread too:
I was recently talking to my mom about how we plan to do extended breastfeeding, and she asked about what happens when they get teeth, if they bite mommy, and what I could do about it. I told her about some things I'd read on here and elsewhere and then she told me that when my brother and I were little she had problems with us biting. "Not me," she said, "but other kids" (She didn't breastfeed my brother and only breastfed me til about 4 months.)

Since I'm a first timer I responded that I didn't even want to think about the challenges that might be in store for us down the road. The "terrible twos" and toddler stuff still kind of terrifies me, since I'm not the most patient woman in the world. I think I said "Gosh, I don't even know what I'd do if my little one was biting other kids! I'd feel horrible! How do you get them to stop?"

And she said

"You bite them back. So they know how it feels"

LOL WTF, MOM?!

And when I laughed about that comment she said "Well not HARD, just enough so they know that it hurts."




So I guess she wasn't joking.

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#248 of 1072 Old 05-30-2010, 10:30 PM
 
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But that does seem to be a popular "discipline" concept. "If I do it to them, they'll know it's bad."

BTW, re: toddlers. Start reading up on them when your LO starts cruising. Early toddlerhood was a lot harder on all of us than it needed to be because I thought I'd have a walking baby for a month or two and instead I had a walking baby for about a week.
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#249 of 1072 Old 05-31-2010, 08:58 AM
 
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re the biting stuff.... its just been shown in a popular programme (emmerdale, if you are interested) over here, a toddler bit the womans baby, the woman bit the toddler to show her it hurt/ was wrong.. she was arrested for assault and may go to prson... (i know its not real lol)


sil told mil that its illegal to have a child over 12 months in a rear facing car seat... from the woman whos 9 year old 'doesnt need a booster' ... so now i have my mil on my case and dp paniced so i had to prove it to him!

my boobs are eeeevil.................eeevil i tells ya....
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#250 of 1072 Old 05-31-2010, 09:27 AM
 
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sil told mil that its illegal to have a child over 12 months in a rear facing car seat... from the woman whos 9 year old 'doesnt need a booster' ... so now i have my mil on my case and dp paniced so i had to prove it to him!
I wouldn't. I'd tell them that sil has to prove she's right, rather than you prove you are. Onus on the troublemaker.
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#251 of 1072 Old 05-31-2010, 01:07 PM
 
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Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
But that does seem to be a popular "discipline" concept. "If I do it to them, they'll know it's bad."

BTW, re: toddlers. Start reading up on them when your LO starts cruising. Early toddlerhood was a lot harder on all of us than it needed to be because I thought I'd have a walking baby for a month or two and instead I had a walking baby for about a week.
A little OT, but what books would you recommend for early toddlerhood?

Angela , wife to DH (Oct 1999), mother to DD (Oct 2008)
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#252 of 1072 Old 06-01-2010, 10:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Dh's most recent comeback:

FIL: When are you going to turn DS around the right way? (we still RF at 13mo *gasp*)
DH: He IS turned around the right way.

Kas (24), Helpmeet to Stefan (25), Mom to Franklin Gaudelio 4/15/09, Jonathan Boswell 1/2/11
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#253 of 1072 Old 06-01-2010, 10:45 AM
 
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Ok so here is one from my loopy 89 year old grandmother who is obsessed with the fact that I am still nursing DS at 2 yrs 4 mons.

GM "I bet your the only mother who nursed this long"

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#254 of 1072 Old 06-01-2010, 12:37 PM
 
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Speaking of nursing, my MIL and mother both ambushed me after I gave birth to tell me some horror stories about breastfeeding.
Not your usual fare either. both of them warned to make sure I wore a sweater AT ALL TIMES! Because apparently, if my chest is uncovered and the wind hits it, my milk will FREEZE IN MY CHEST. My mother went to tell about one woman this happened to, and how she ended up in the hospital with a severe infection. My MIL chimed in about how her aunt had her left breast cut in half because her milk was frozen solid in her breast.

I think I just smiled and nodded. I wore a sweater around them outside for a little bit, but gave up after awhile. It was too ridiculous.

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#255 of 1072 Old 06-01-2010, 01:07 PM
 
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I just remembered one that I heard a while ago.

My dh's aunt was holding dd, who was getting fussy, so I told her it was time for dd to nurse. I waited a few seconds for her to hand her over, but she didn't, so I told her to give dd to me and repeated that it was time for her to nurse. Then dh's aunt said that didn't hand dd over right away because she was waiting for me to go and sterilize my breasts first!

This was back when dd was starting solids and this aunt was always trying to give her unwashed produce, saying that there was nothing harmful on it because it was from her garden. So unwashed fruit and veg was okay, but unwashed boobs not.
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#256 of 1072 Old 06-01-2010, 01:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My dh's aunt was holding dd, who was getting fussy, so I told her it was time for dd to nurse. I waited a few seconds for her to hand her over, but she didn't, so I told her to give dd to me and repeated that it was time for her to nurse. Then dh's aunt said that didn't hand dd over right away because she was waiting for me to go and sterilize my breasts first!
That reminds me... When BIL2 was an infant he got sick and was put on antibiotics. He ended up getting thrush. When MIL took him to the hospital for it the nurses made her feel HORRIBLE about it and told her that he got thrush because SHE obviously didn't wash her hands after using the bathroom and didn't wash her breasts before and after nursing. Seriously? She figured out (on her own) later that it was the antibiotics and not her hygiene.

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#257 of 1072 Old 06-01-2010, 01:38 PM
 
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Speaking of nursing, my MIL and mother both ambushed me after I gave birth to tell me some horror stories about breastfeeding.
Not your usual fare either. both of them warned to make sure I wore a sweater AT ALL TIMES! Because apparently, if my chest is uncovered and the wind hits it, my milk will FREEZE IN MY CHEST. My mother went to tell about one woman this happened to, and how she ended up in the hospital with a severe infection. My MIL chimed in about how her aunt had her left breast cut in half because her milk was frozen solid in her breast.

I think I just smiled and nodded. I wore a sweater around them outside for a little bit, but gave up after awhile. It was too ridiculous.
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#258 of 1072 Old 06-01-2010, 02:06 PM
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Speaking of nursing, my MIL and mother both ambushed me after I gave birth to tell me some horror stories about breastfeeding.
Not your usual fare either. both of them warned to make sure I wore a sweater AT ALL TIMES! Because apparently, if my chest is uncovered and the wind hits it, my milk will FREEZE IN MY CHEST. My mother went to tell about one woman this happened to, and how she ended up in the hospital with a severe infection. My MIL chimed in about how her aunt had her left breast cut in half because her milk was frozen solid in her breast.

I think I just smiled and nodded. I wore a sweater around them outside for a little bit, but gave up after awhile. It was too ridiculous.
Wow, you win the prize! That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my life!
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#259 of 1072 Old 06-01-2010, 05:42 PM
 
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Ok so here is one from my loopy 89 year old grandmother who is obsessed with the fact that I am still nursing DS at 2 yrs 4 mons.

GM "I bet your the only mother who nursed this long"
If you really want to rock her world you could show her the news piece of youtube about the mom in the UK nursing her 8 year old.

Course that might not be the best way to make her think extended nursing is normal.

Kristy, wife to Josh proud mama to Katie: since 3/08 and Emma since 8/12.

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#260 of 1072 Old 06-01-2010, 08:20 PM
 
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That reminds me... When BIL2 was an infant he got sick and was put on antibiotics. He ended up getting thrush. When MIL took him to the hospital for it the nurses made her feel HORRIBLE about it and told her that he got thrush because SHE obviously didn't wash her hands after using the bathroom and didn't wash her breasts before and after nursing. Seriously? She figured out (on her own) later that it was the antibiotics and not her hygiene.
Oh, that is so sad!
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#261 of 1072 Old 06-01-2010, 08:32 PM
 
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well, I can tell you that by the 3rd kid, most of those comments about nursing, starting solids, vaccines, etc don't bother you anymore I really couldn't care less what anyone thinks, and no one even asks.

But anyway, I've been getting so many annoying babywearing comments just in the past week or so. The produce stocker in the grocery store told me I'd better support her head in the mei tai. Then another day, the cashier told me she was so uncomfortable in the ergo, she really wanted to get out (like she knows better than I do! Thanks lady, I hadn't realized!). In the bookstore someone asked me if I was sure she was breathing (in the ergo, not even deep inside a sling or anything!) And today we were walking with her on my back, and a random stranger came up and said "are you sure that baby is ok?"

I do appreciate their concern- there is not enough of speaking up for the safety of children, IMO- but it makes me sad that people are so concerned when they see a baby snuggled with it's mama the way it's been done since people have been alive, yet carrying it around in a plastic bucket is totally normal and no one thinks twice if the baby is ok in there. (No, I'm not totally against buckets, they do serve a purpose but YKWIM)

sigh.
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#262 of 1072 Old 06-02-2010, 10:37 AM
 
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Somebody walked past me at a street fair last weekend while I was adjusting my sleeping toddler's head in the sling, and she frowned at me and said, "be careful!" Like I can't walk and hold my baby at the same time without being admonished.

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#263 of 1072 Old 06-02-2010, 10:16 PM
 
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GM "I bet your the only mother who nursed this long"
Backstory: MIL commented that I can't breastfeed until the "end of time" I just smiled.

A few months back DH was asking about how long moms can stay on WIC. I said something along the lines of "As long as they breastfeed" not thinking he was talking about ME.
His reply was, "So you are getting the breastfeeding package until the end of time?"
Me: No, They cut you off at a year.
DH: Too bad, I bet it would only be you on the eternity package.

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The produce stocker in the grocery store told me I'd better support her head in the mei tai.
We must shop at the same store. There is a bag boy at my grocery who was almost yelling at me that DS might fall and my ring sling wasn't a safe place for a baby. DS likes to ride in the cart now, so I don't get as much grief.

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#264 of 1072 Old 06-02-2010, 10:37 PM
 
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Is your sister partnered or going to be a single parent? Because from what I've seen of single mamas, that's a TOUGH job no matter how old you are. And if your sister doesn't have a partner who will step up to the plate and do all the things your dh has done, then your sis will have a much much harder time than you.

Of course, I'm assuming your mom was speaking as your sister's mom and not as a judging stranger.
No, she's partnered, and living with her boyfriend, my mom is just weird.

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#265 of 1072 Old 06-02-2010, 10:45 PM
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Speaking of nursing, my MIL and mother both ambushed me after I gave birth to tell me some horror stories about breastfeeding.
Not your usual fare either. both of them warned to make sure I wore a sweater AT ALL TIMES! Because apparently, if my chest is uncovered and the wind hits it, my milk will FREEZE IN MY CHEST. My mother went to tell about one woman this happened to, and how she ended up in the hospital with a severe infection. My MIL chimed in about how her aunt had her left breast cut in half because her milk was frozen solid in her breast.

I think I just smiled and nodded. I wore a sweater around them outside for a little bit, but gave up after awhile. It was too ridiculous.
THAT takes the cake! Just like how our blood freezes when we're just walking around out in the regular cold. Yuh-UH.
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#266 of 1072 Old 06-02-2010, 10:51 PM
 
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when dd was 6mo, hanging out in her sling while I was making dinner...

my aunt: how long do you plan on "babying" that child

my mom: probably as long as she is a BABY!

i love having a supportive mamma!

earth honouring, tree hugging, yogi mamma to dd - my forest faerie (Feb/04) and ds - our new little bean born peacefully at home (01/02/11)
 
 
 
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#267 of 1072 Old 06-03-2010, 07:32 PM
 
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I was told to spank my son when he was a month old to "cure" him of crying. He wasn't crying all the time, mind you; maybe 15-20 mins a day, total. He would fuss about diaper changes and if he was hungry and that was about it, but this one friend of mine was convinced that I was setting myself up to have a monster child if I didn't nip that in the bud! (...she and I don't talk anymore.)

My (least) favorite was on the playground recently, my son was playing in the sand pit with a little boy. They found a bucket and a old broken shovel buried in the sand and were happily taking turns holding the bucket and filling the bucket with sand...bear in mind that both boys were near their 2nd birthdays and had not had any adult help in setting this little game up! The grandfather of the other little boy observed them playing for awhile and then, in a fit of frustration, darted across the playground yelling for them to stop: "You are doing it all wrong! You have to put the bucket on the ground or you'll spill sand on your clothes! Here, let me show you!" He took the bucket away from them, sat it on the ground, then took the shovel away and started filling the bucket himself, the "right" way. Because apparently it's okay to sit inside the sandpit, you just can't...get...sandy. His grandson waited patiently for a little while, then tried to take the bucket away. The grandfather just lost it and started yelling at this kid: "What is wrong with you? Why can't you learn to share?" The little boy started crying.

My son observed all of this, then shrugged, walked up to the grandfather very intentionally and kicked the bucket over, spilling the sand (in the sand box). Then he walked over to me and took my hand to lead me to a different, presumably more amicable part of the playground. The grandfather started freaking out as we walked away and actually tried to tell me that I couldn't let my kid leave the sandbox without making MY KID clean up all the sand he'd just spilled, because he obviously had an "attitude problem" that needed "adjusting." I had to bite my tongue to keep myself from saying, "Kicking the bucket is a blast, you should try it sometime!"
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#268 of 1072 Old 06-03-2010, 08:00 PM
 
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Originally Posted by seim.ge View Post
I was told to spank my son when he was a month old to "cure" him of crying. He wasn't crying all the time, mind you; maybe 15-20 mins a day, total. He would fuss about diaper changes and if he was hungry and that was about it, but this one friend of mine was convinced that I was setting myself up to have a monster child if I didn't nip that in the bud! (...she and I don't talk anymore.)

My (least) favorite was on the playground recently, my son was playing in the sand pit with a little boy. They found a bucket and a old broken shovel buried in the sand and were happily taking turns holding the bucket and filling the bucket with sand...bear in mind that both boys were near their 2nd birthdays and had not had any adult help in setting this little game up! The grandfather of the other little boy observed them playing for awhile and then, in a fit of frustration, darted across the playground yelling for them to stop: "You are doing it all wrong! You have to put the bucket on the ground or you'll spill sand on your clothes! Here, let me show you!" He took the bucket away from them, sat it on the ground, then took the shovel away and started filling the bucket himself, the "right" way. Because apparently it's okay to sit inside the sandpit, you just can't...get...sandy. His grandson waited patiently for a little while, then tried to take the bucket away. The grandfather just lost it and started yelling at this kid: "What is wrong with you? Why can't you learn to share?" The little boy started crying.

My son observed all of this, then shrugged, walked up to the grandfather very intentionally and kicked the bucket over, spilling the sand (in the sand box). Then he walked over to me and took my hand to lead me to a different, presumably more amicable part of the playground. The grandfather started freaking out as we walked away and actually tried to tell me that I couldn't let my kid leave the sandbox without making MY KID clean up all the sand he'd just spilled, because he obviously had an "attitude problem" that needed "adjusting." I had to bite my tongue to keep myself from saying, "Kicking the bucket is a blast, you should try it sometime!"
Your son sounds like a pistol

waiting on the power of the three wolf moon. 
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#269 of 1072 Old 06-03-2010, 08:13 PM
 
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Originally Posted by neverdoingitagain View Post
Your son sounds like a pistol

Yeah, he's my little Irish/German redhead. He'll be two in August and he's already totally confrontational, loud and proud, doesn't take nonsense from anyone...it's hilarious and scary at the same time.
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#270 of 1072 Old 06-03-2010, 08:20 PM
 
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Originally Posted by seim.ge View Post
"Kicking the bucket is a blast, you should try it sometime!"
that would have been TOO funny!

and, your son sounds too cute! I would be so proud of him for not freaking out that the old man stole his bucket and wouldn't share it with him and his new friend!

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