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What is the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting stuff? V

119K views 1K replies 315 participants last post by  bluedaisy 
#1 ·
From this weekend:

I was saying that I can't have milk and this guy (we'll call him D) says, "You know that none of that gets passed through your breastmilk, right?" I just stared and said, "He gets a rash when I have milk." and he looked surprised.

He also told me that if I fed him solids he'd get teeth sooner (we're 8 months with no teeth)
 
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#902 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snapdragon View Post

okay- out of context this sounds like no big deal but it really really irked me at the time!!! the comment was- "you need a hat (for your baby)"

background: (rant- just had to get this silly story out somewhere!!!) it has been a rough few wks for me with our living situation- living temporarily in a nice place but it requires tons of driving to get anywhere social. ds is 14 months (almost). it takes 1/2 hour to get to any social place and I have a big anxiety about long drives with the baby. so the other day, it took a ton of work and self confidence for me to overcome my long driving fear (we are moving btw to where I will have to drive much less) and I managed to get ds and I to "town". That was exhausting enough! IT was a pretty sunny day bt not overly hot. I took ds toa play place and we had a great outing! he had a lot of fun. I was walking back to mycar- a short distance, wearing then tired out ds in the babyhawk mei tei. I had two hats in my bag- a cotton cap and a sun hat. ds had been pulling off his hats every time I put them on him. I decided not to put on his hat because I figured a minute of sunshine on is head was probably good for him. I walk out and I am feeling pretty pleased with myself, having successfully done an outing with ds that was really challenging for me. I was feeling lovey dovey with ds and kind of had my hands softly covering his head, sort of keeping the sun out of his eyes. I was also tired and stressed. so this man walks by and sees me with my hand on ds's head and blurts out- you need a hat. and it just pissed me right off. it was the way he said it- like, implying that I was a neglectful parent= when really I had just put everything I had that day into taking top notch care of my baby! It just made me feel so defensive. I know people are random and who knows if he even meant anything by it but it made me angry for him to holler out that I "need" a hat- like- thanks, dude- I never would have considered that, you know more about my baby than I do. I totally over reacted but it was the essence of someone criticizing my parenting when I was making such an effort and it was such a hard day!!
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#903 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amatullah0 View Post

You want an honest answer? there are other high-sugar foods that don't involve food coloring
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I think the biggest issue with the frosting is all of the "stuff" in it, not the sugar content itself, though sugar content is a big issue if your kid doesn't need the extra sugar.
That was actually a rhetorical question, but clearly you don't have an infant with diabetes.
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#904 ·
my understanding (i know very little about diabetes so correct me if i'm wrong!) is that low blood sugar, if low enough, can be a very serious emergency. In that situation where it's necessary to get baby's blood sugar up NOW and looking in the kitchen for the easiest, quickest, thing for a baby not on solids to consume, I can see grabbing frosting if it was right there and easy! I may be able to come up with ideas that are ''better'' but if it's not in your kitchen when you need it, i'm guessing a trip to the store is out of the question. And even if it IS in the house you might not think of it in the moment of stress. (i'm assuming that low blood sugar baby is a stress inducing moment?) so, hey, no judgement from me on the frosting. In the moment, it was medicine. And there's inactive ingredientsa in kids medicine, both rx and otc, just as bad if not worse than wjatever is in the frosting besides the sugar!
 
#905 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by LiLStar View Post

my understanding (i know very little about diabetes so correct me if i'm wrong!) is that low blood sugar, if low enough, can be a very serious emergency. In that situation where it's necessary to get baby's blood sugar up NOW and looking in the kitchen for the easiest, quickest, thing for a baby not on solids to consume, I can see grabbing frosting if it was right there and easy! I may be able to come up with ideas that are ''better'' but if it's not in your kitchen when you need it, i'm guessing a trip to the store is out of the question. And even if it IS in the house you might not think of it in the moment of stress. (i'm assuming that low blood sugar baby is a stress inducing moment?) so, hey, no judgement from me on the frosting. In the moment, it was medicine. And there's inactive ingredientsa in kids medicine, both rx and otc, just as bad if not worse than wjatever is in the frosting besides the sugar!
Yup, you've nailed it! Frosting is absorbed through the inside cheek, so even if the baby isn't eating the sugar source, the sugar gets to the blood stream. Not true with much else save an injection of glucagon, something we try to avoid.
 
#907 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post

Would sugar water be absorbed through the cheek or is there something else about frosting that allows that?
I think it was probably just faster. I'm trying to put myself in the situation and grabbing a finger full of frosting is a quicker fix over pulling out the sugar, getting water, pouring it in, stirring it, etc...

I'm just guessing though...
 
#908 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by AFWife View Post

I think it was probably just faster. I'm trying to put myself in the situation and grabbing a finger full of frosting is a quicker fix over pulling out the sugar, getting water, pouring it in, stirring it, etc...

I'm just guessing though...
Plus you'd swallow sugar water immediately, but frosting might "stick" in your mouth a bit??? I have no idea, just a guess...
 
#909 ·
I used to babysit a 2 year old when DS was a bit younger, and we went all over together because that's the way we roll. People would frequently assume that both DS and our friend were my kids, despite the fact that our friend doesn't resemble me even a little. No big deal, except people would then say ALL KINDS of rude things to me.

The very worst? Once I was in a public restroom changing DS while our friend waited impatiently next to the changing table. A lady came out of one of the stalls, looked over at us, and said right to me, "You had them too close together!" in a nasty voice.
 
#910 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by coldandsleepy View Post

I used to babysit a 2 year old when DS was a bit younger, and we went all over together because that's the way we roll. People would frequently assume that both DS and our friend were my kids, despite the fact that our friend doesn't resemble me even a little. No big deal, except people would then say ALL KINDS of rude things to me.

The very worst? Once I was in a public restroom changing DS while our friend waited impatiently next to the changing table. A lady came out of one of the stalls, looked over at us, and said right to me, "You had them too close together!" in a nasty voice.
Wow.

Less hurtful but similar... I was playing with DS and my friend's DD while talking to another mom I'd never met. She asked their ages and I told her they were a month apart. She wanders off with her kiddo and then comes back a few minutes later asking, "So how does that work????" I'm like, "Huh?" "How are they a month apart?"
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Guess she didn't realize they weren't both mine!! (And they actually do look a bit alike..) She look so totally confused and I could tell she was insanely curious!!!!
 
#911 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by coldandsleepy View Post

I used to babysit a 2 year old when DS was a bit younger, and we went all over together because that's the way we roll. People would frequently assume that both DS and our friend were my kids, despite the fact that our friend doesn't resemble me even a little. No big deal, except people would then say ALL KINDS of rude things to me.

The very worst? Once I was in a public restroom changing DS while our friend waited impatiently next to the changing table. A lady came out of one of the stalls, looked over at us, and said right to me, "You had them too close together!" in a nasty voice.
"And you're a bleepity bleep, so??" is my first reaction.

My second, and the one I would love to use on a bleepity bleep is "actually Friend isn't my biological child, we adopted her after her parents died. They were my best friends in the world, thank you so very much for reminding me about their deaths. *sob*"
 
#912 ·
One of the silliest: "They're going to be midgets if you don't give them *real* milk." And by "real" milk, said person was referring to the hormone-infested, "calcium and vitamin D enhanced" milk they sell in the grocery stores, rather than the whole, raw milk from our own cow, and D from actually going outside, unlike most kids today, LOL.

Also (and from the same person, regarding whole life unschooling): "How are they ever going to function in the *real* world? How are they going to learn motiviation if no one tells them what to do?" As I'm sure you can tell, this person has trouble with basic logic and the definition of her own favourite word, "real."

And the hurtful one, again from the same person, regarding home birth: "Feel free to risk your baby's life, but I'd never want to put my selfish desires for some "hippy, organic birthing experience" ahead of my baby. Babies need to be born in the hospital where there are people who know how to take care of them, not young mother following counterculture fads."

She's a gem, alright!
 
#914 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by Interrobang View Post

And the hurtful one, again from the same person, regarding home birth: "Feel free to risk your baby's life, but I'd never want to put my selfish desires for some "hippy, organic birthing experience" ahead of my baby. Babies need to be born in the hospital where there are people who know how to take care of them, not young mother following counterculture fads."

She's a gem, alright!
I had a reaction much liek this when I timidly suggested home birth to my family. I ended up at a hospital. Gotta love them
 
#915 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by Interrobang View Post

And the hurtful one, again from the same person, regarding home birth: "Feel free to risk your baby's life, but I'd never want to put my selfish desires for some "hippy, organic birthing experience" ahead of my baby. Babies need to be born in the hospital where there are people who know how to take care of them, not young mother following counterculture fads."

She's a gem, alright!
Wow, got the same speech, almost word for word. I was the most selfish person in the world for wanting to kill my baby. Obviously. Thanks for the kind words dad. I also ended up in the hospital when my home birth turned cesarian.
 
#916 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by AllisonR View Post

Wow, got the same speech, almost word for word. I was the most selfish person in the world for wanting to kill my baby. Obviously. Thanks for the kind words dad. I also ended up in the hospital when my home birth turned cesarian.
This might be kind of sad...but my biggest fear about possible transfer wasn't a c/s or anything....it was knowing that I'd get a million "I told you so" comments if I did.
 
#917 ·
I DID transfer and had a cesarean with my first. I hated the thought that now all those people I enthusiastically talked about my upcoming home birth with would now get to say, "Homebirth? oh yeah, I know someone who tried to home birth. She ended up having a c-section".. and now thats forever their impression :/ Course, those would be mostly people from my church where I lived at the time that I'm of course no longer in contact with, so I can't tell them about the HBAC of my 10lb 2oz baby. I didn't get any flack for my choice, mostly "wow, you're brave..." so no "I told you so's"

Quote:
Originally Posted by AFWife View Post

This might be kind of sad...but my biggest fear about possible transfer wasn't a c/s or anything....it was knowing that I'd get a million "I told you so" comments if I did.
 
#918 ·
Ok here's mine, it still stings almost a year later...

I was bringing in my three day old son for a heel prick for his severe jaundice. I was holding him as the nurse prepped his heel and she asked me if I was pregnant. I was surprised but I figured she thought I was his Auntie or something, so I told her no I wasn't pregnant, this baby was my son. She then said, "Oh I know he's your son, I just wondered if you were pregnant. You look about 6 months pregnant!"

Uhm-first way to make a 3 day pp woman feel super fat and ugly. And secondly you KNOW the THREE day old I am holding is my baby, and yet you are wondering if I am 6 months pregnant?! Please explain to me how that can possibly work?! And she was a medical professional!
 
#919 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by sortacrispy View Post

Ok here's mine, it still stings almost a year later...

I was bringing in my three day old son for a heel prick for his severe jaundice. I was holding him as the nurse prepped his heel and she asked me if I was pregnant. I was surprised but I figured she thought I was his Auntie or something, so I told her no I wasn't pregnant, this baby was my son. She then said, "Oh I know he's your son, I just wondered if you were pregnant. You look about 6 months pregnant!"

Uhm-first way to make a 3 day pp woman feel super fat and ugly. And secondly you KNOW the THREE day old I am holding is my baby, and yet you are wondering if I am 6 months pregnant?! Please explain to me how that can possibly work?! And she was a medical professional!
Oh how I wish you could've had a friend with you to tell that horrible woman to get out and send in someone with a BRAIN. "It is completely unacceptable for you to be so unprofessional and your lack of knowledge about how pregnancy works shows that you don't know enough about babies to be trusted to do a heel prick on a newborn. Do NOT even start with me, go get your supervisor IMMEDIATELY."

Seriously, I'm surprised she didn't prick his ankle instead of his heel or cut his foot off she sounds so stupid.
 
#921 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by sortacrispy View Post

Ok here's mine, it still stings almost a year later...

I was bringing in my three day old son for a heel prick for his severe jaundice. I was holding him as the nurse prepped his heel and she asked me if I was pregnant. I was surprised but I figured she thought I was his Auntie or something, so I told her no I wasn't pregnant, this baby was my son. She then said, "Oh I know he's your son, I just wondered if you were pregnant. You look about 6 months pregnant!"

Uhm-first way to make a 3 day pp woman feel super fat and ugly. And secondly you KNOW the THREE day old I am holding is my baby, and yet you are wondering if I am 6 months pregnant?! Please explain to me how that can possibly work?! And she was a medical professional!
Wow. Seriously? Thats one of those, so stupid its hard to believe someone actually SAID that.
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FWIW, I looked like I was about 6months pregnant for about 8months. Oh well. Now I'm back to being pretty hot, if I do say so myself.
 
#922 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by LiLStar View Post

I DID transfer and had a cesarean with my first. I hated the thought that now all those people I enthusiastically talked about my upcoming home birth with would now get to say, "Homebirth? oh yeah, I know someone who tried to home birth. She ended up having a c-section".. and now thats forever their impression :/ Course, those would be mostly people from my church where I lived at the time that I'm of course no longer in contact with, so I can't tell them about the HBAC of my 10lb 2oz baby. I didn't get any flack for my choice, mostly "wow, you're brave..." so no "I told you so's"
I got the I-told-you-so, by the head of staff at the hospital. I had my first as a C-section at the local hospital that was horrendous on so many levels. So I was having a home birth for my second child. Well my second baby end up star-gazing as well (don't know english term for this) and I ended up back in that horrid place for a second c-section. So the head of staff was kind enough to tell me, about 1 hour after DDs "birth" how she just knew I would be back. I guess the point is all women really need to have c-sections, because of course none of them are capable of actually birthing a baby.
 
#923 ·
Whaaaaa? She's a nurse, and she doesn't know 1) how to add, and 2) how long it takes for the body to recover from pregnancy? EVERYONE "looks pregnant" 3 days post-partum. It's not a rubber band.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sortacrispy View Post

Ok here's mine, it still stings almost a year later...

I was bringing in my three day old son for a heel prick for his severe jaundice. I was holding him as the nurse prepped his heel and she asked me if I was pregnant. I was surprised but I figured she thought I was his Auntie or something, so I told her no I wasn't pregnant, this baby was my son. She then said, "Oh I know he's your son, I just wondered if you were pregnant. You look about 6 months pregnant!"

Uhm-first way to make a 3 day pp woman feel super fat and ugly. And secondly you KNOW the THREE day old I am holding is my baby, and yet you are wondering if I am 6 months pregnant?! Please explain to me how that can possibly work?! And she was a medical professional!
 
#924 ·
Probably you're talking about "sunny-side-up" or "posterior"-- when the baby's face is facing up towards your stomach, instead of towards your back. (I had one "star-gazing" baby too-- that's an awful labor)

Quote:
Originally Posted by AllisonR View Post

I got the I-told-you-so, by the head of staff at the hospital. I had my first as a C-section at the local hospital that was horrendous on so many levels. So I was having a home birth for my second child. Well my second baby end up star-gazing as well (don't know english term for this) and I ended up back in that horrid place for a second c-section. So the head of staff was kind enough to tell me, about 1 hour after DDs "birth" how she just knew I would be back. I guess the point is all women really need to have c-sections, because of course none of them are capable of actually birthing a baby.
 
#925 ·
Star-gazing means the baby's head is tilted back, with the forehead presenting. I think it's also called military presentation. The OB told my friend during her second c-section that her baby was in the star-gazing position and his neck would have snapped during a natural birth.
 
#926 ·
Over the weekend I went on vacation with my family & extended family. I was in the living room nursing my baby, and as it was bedtime, so I was also expecting him to nurse to bed. He was asleep, but still kind of sucking every once in a while, and I was finishing up my magazine article so I left him a the breast. My uncle comes into the room, and in a rather loud voice says "hes' a sleep, I think you can stop now!" Well gee thanks, he's not asleep any more thanks to you being so damn loud.

This is the third person to tell me to stop nursing my son once he had fallen asleep at the breast. One didn't even have a child, and one was a man. It irks me soooo much when people tell this to me WHILE I'm nursing him. I nurse my baby to sleep quite often actually. I really don't think thats so off-the-wall out-there that I'm doing something wrong. So I really don't know why people feel the need to comment to me while I'm doing it.
 
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