Do kids "deserve" their own rooms? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums
View Poll Results: Do kids deserve their own rooms, no matter the cost?
Yes 9 3.17%
No 224 78.87%
It depends, or other, or whatever else doesn't fit "yes" or "no" 51 17.96%
Voters: 284. You may not vote on this poll

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#61 of 90 Old 12-30-2009, 02:45 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MamaJenese View Post
I would think a better investment would be dressing screens for privacy and/or neat frurniture that could define space for each child in a shared space.
Yes! I just recently saw this, which was a very cool space, with a desk that can be retracted into the bed when not in use. The bed is on the small side, though there are other types of dense storage/bed units with larger beds to fit lots of kid stuff in a small space.

Or upgrade to a space with 3 BRs, but with larger BRs, so that each kid room can be divided with a screen and still have space to move for the few days a month it is needed.

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#62 of 90 Old 12-30-2009, 02:49 PM
 
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I haven't read any other replies yet...

I think kids having or not having their own room is entirely up to that specific situation.

Or kids beg to share a room. Ever since DS2 was 8 months old they've been bunking up. We've always had enough bedrooms for them to have their own but we were constantly pulling DS1's mattress into DS2's room

Personally I wouldn't bunk up a 6 year old girl with a 12 year old boy. Or something like that.

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#63 of 90 Old 12-30-2009, 05:43 PM
 
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I didn't read through everything yet, so forgive me if I'm repeating.

I think that if at all possible, kids should have the option of having their own rooms. I don't think anyone, kids included, should be forced to share their personal space with someone if they don't want to. We all have to do that plenty out in the world, and we shouldn't have to do it at home too. It doesn't have to be fancy, a sectioned off area of the basement (I had a lot of friends with older brothers that liked this option). Some degree of noise seperation, and a way to close off the area for privacy is all they really need. I think anything less is just a bad idea. I consider personal space to be just as important as food and clothing.

I think of those Bates kids (is that the name? the people who are friends of the Duggers?) and how they were all crammed like 8 to a room in that little house and just feel incredibly sad for them. No privacy, personal space, or quiet. I really don't think it's any way to live.

Should the family put themselves in serious financial trouble to make sure each kid has a room? No, of course not. I think they should do their best to make something work though, maybe building some rooms in the basement or something.
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#64 of 90 Old 12-30-2009, 06:00 PM
 
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I shared a room with my brother who was six years younger than me most of my life with no issues. Obviously I think wanting/needing privacy comes more when kids are older. We have five bedrooms and the two oldest each have their own while the three youngest share. At six, four and two they don't want to be alone, heck they all still sleep in our bed anyway.

I understand that she would want them to have their own space, but could they not maybe convert a garage or attic or basement or something?

I agree with everyone who said it's not worth going bankrupt over, especially if the home she currently owns is paid for. Surely they can devise something.

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#65 of 90 Old 12-30-2009, 06:23 PM
 
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To say "all kids deserve their own rooms" is a very classist statement. Not everybody can afford a large enough home to make that happen!

But in the OP's SIL's situation, I can understand her desire to give each child his or her own room. It's awkward to share with your much younger step-sib when you're there EOW- even if you have your own bed and a piece of furniture with lockable drawers, it's hard not to feel like a visitor coming into "the other sibling's" bedroom. And it's hard to feel "at home" when you feel like a visitor.

I would, however, encourage your SIL to get creative with the space she already has, in the 3 bedroom home she can easily afford. Is there space in the house that can be converted to extra bedroom space, such as an attic, basement, garage, or formal dining room?

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#66 of 90 Old 12-30-2009, 06:31 PM
 
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I agree with the others who don't think "deserve" is such a great word to use.

But I do think children "deserve" to be the ones who have to make the LEAST adjustments in a divorce/remarriage situation.

I don't generally agree with Dr. Laura -- but I thought she was right-on one time when she suggested that children should get to stay in their own homes for visitation, rather than being the ones to go back and forth. On the non-custodial parent's weekend, the custodial parent should find someplace else to stay and the custodial parent should just spend the weekend with the child in his own home.

Of course, I understand that this isn't always do-able. I.e., what if the custodial parent has remaried and had 4 additional children, how do-able is it for them all to stay in a motel for every other weekend?

So, sadly, even though the children don't usually have a say as to whether parents divorce and remarry, they still usually end up being the ones who have to go back and forth every other weekend or so. And maybe some enjoy it -- but they probably don't have a choice anyway.

So, I think if it's possible, it IS really nice for parents to be willing to do whatever they reasonably can to make transitions easier for their children who are having to go back and forth, and adjust to new stepparents and new stepsiblings, and so on and so forth.

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#67 of 90 Old 12-30-2009, 09:28 PM
 
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Children deserve a fair portion of the families resources.


If a family can reasonably afford a huge house, then that may happen to be a room for each kid. However, if the family doesn't have much in the way of resources, that may simply be half of a shared bed (DH's family was very poor growing up in the Bronx in a one bedroom apt, he shared a bed with his little brother.)

I suspect the bank won't give your SIL a mortgage she can't afford though. Banks have become much much more cautious recently. Ikea has all kinds of great solutions for giving kids privacy in a shared room.

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#68 of 90 Old 12-31-2009, 02:16 AM
 
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It's a very American idea. My Dh is from Ireland and he was the only kid he knew with his own room (he's the only boy in his family, his 6 sisters shared two bedrooms). It is more common there now because more people are limiting their family sizes.

He loves that our two kids get their own rooms *most* of the time. We move a lot for his job and it's normal for us to live temporarily for months at a time in a 2 bedroom apartment so our DDs bunk up together. They whine a little, but we figure it's character building.

but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#69 of 90 Old 12-31-2009, 03:41 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Ruthla View Post
But in the OP's SIL's situation, I can understand her desire to give each child his or her own room. It's awkward to share with your much younger step-sib when you're there EOW- even if you have your own bed and a piece of furniture with lockable drawers, it's hard not to feel like a visitor coming into "the other sibling's" bedroom. And it's hard to feel "at home" when you feel like a visitor.
This is true. I think, depending on the size of the rooms in a smaller house, I'd partition off the rooms, and keep one part of each room for the child who is there full-time and part of it for the child who is there EOW. The child who lives there full-time would be expected to stay out of his/her step-sibling's area - completely. The step-sibling could decorate, etc. to suit themselves.

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#70 of 90 Old 12-31-2009, 03:52 AM
 
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I think at a certain age, if at all possible, a girl and boy shouldn't have to share a room. I also think that once a kid id high school aged, it is nice for privacy's sake to let them have their own room.

I in no way see it as a necessity though.

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#71 of 90 Old 12-31-2009, 04:20 AM
 
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i have not read all the replies.

i think for the sake of family peace your SIL is right. esp. if the kids are in their teens or close to their teens or even tweens. i know my dd would love to share a room with a step sister. however i also know my friends 7 year old. he would have a hard time.

so when bringing up a family from birth of course it is not necessary.

but in a blended family with all the dynamics - yes debt is better than not having private space.

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#72 of 90 Old 12-31-2009, 04:55 AM
 
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I have not read all the replies. I have 2 siblings, my brother and sister, and 6 step siblings, 2 boys, 1 girl and 2 girls, 1 boy on each side of the family. I feel that the issue is NOT having their own room, but respecting that each child deserves space of their own, but MOST IMPORTANTLY deserves to be respected and treated as a part of the family. Although my "steps" came later in my life, I know that for my step-siblings they all had issues of not being treated as part of the family. For instance- once had to sleep in the closet when he came over, their way of making sure he "had is own space". A room is totally secondary to feeling like you belong, that you are part of both families, and are respected as such.

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#73 of 90 Old 12-31-2009, 01:56 PM
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Is she thinking her husband can get reduced child support by having a larger housing payment?

Kds deserve shelter. This doesn't mean their very own bedrooms, especially if it may bankrupt the family. They're going to set the kids up to feel entitled to everthing they want by doing this.
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#74 of 90 Old 12-31-2009, 02:40 PM
 
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I voted "other."

In general, I don't think kids "deserve" their own rooms or need to have their own rooms. In your SIL's situation, though, I can see that it's sort of tricky. Having the kids share rooms by sex (girls in one, boys in the other) doesn't seem like a great solution to me, unless these kids have a *particularly* close relationship already established (and, with their age differences, I imagine they don't). It would totally feel like the non-custodial kids were "guests" in your SIL's kids' rooms, in my opinion. Would they feel comfortable leaving anything there for the two weeks they were away between visits--knowing that it was in someone else's room? I wouldn't. The full-time resident of the room might resent having someone stay in there every couple of weeks, and the visiting child would likely pick up on this and feel uncomfortable. Not a good solution, in my opinion.

On the other hand, depending on their ages, I can see that it might not work well to have opposite-sex siblings sharing rooms, either.

I, personally, would feel like the non-custodial kids should have a space of their own (if we were able to provide it), but that it would be okay for that space to be shared--so maybe one bedroom for the two of them to share at our house. Then I would make the decision about your SIL's kids based on their ages, personalities, what they've grown accustomed to, et cetera.

Bottom line, I wouldn't risk bankruptcy to provide kids with their own rooms, but I would do everything in my creative power to help provide a little personal space for everyone and to avoid making my step-kids feel as though they were any less a part of our family because of their non-residential status.

Depending on their ages, I would also involve the kids in this decision--ask them what was really important to them, explain what our limitations were and let them help come up with solutions. Perhaps they would suggest, for example, the girls sharing one room and the boys sharing the other--in which case I think it would be an entirely different issue and might work out just fine.
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#75 of 90 Old 12-31-2009, 02:44 PM
 
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I see where SIL is coming from, but it's not reasonable. Not knowing the ages of the kids (didn't read all of the posts), I would suggest they sit down with her kids and figure out a way to make his kids feel welcome when they're there. Could the boys "share" a room--like with one of those bunkbeds with the futon on the bottom so that it can be a couch when there's only one there, and a separate area be set up for the oldest girl? Or maybe murphy beds in a den are a possibility? Could a den/office be converted to an extra part-time bedroom?

It's a toughie but I would not further compromise the family's resources for the sake of sleeping arrangements. Think of the fun things they could do together with the money they'll save by sharing!

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#76 of 90 Old 12-31-2009, 06:06 PM
 
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I think each child deserves their own bed, and their own space, but not their own room.
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#77 of 90 Old 12-31-2009, 07:18 PM
 
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What I don't see is how it's any of your business. It's disappointing at this late date to still see this kind of thread on MDC - picking apart the choices of a third party who isn't here to defend themselves. With a poll, no less!

Like everyone, I have my own ideas about what I would or wouldn't do in that situation, but you know, it's just not relevant because I wasn't put on this earth to participate in a vote about strangers' personal choices. If you are not close enough to her to take the subject up with her directly, I don't see what you're going to accomplish by going behind her back, online, with judgment, other than to get yourself worked up about something you have no control over and will probably only lead to bad blood between you and her if you give into the temptation to get involved. If she ASKS you, you can give your opinion, respectfully. You can never know exactly what is going on in another person's situation unless they let you all the way in which she obviously has not. Did it even occur to you that her apparently cavalier attitude WRT bankruptcy may have just been her way of blowing off your nosiness? Why should she let you in on the details of her and her fiance's finances, be they good or bad? If you are really concerned about those kids, work on your relationship with them and let your SIL manage her own concerns as the responsible adult in HER family. It will be unfortunate if she really does end up bankrupt - although I don't think you have any REAL reason to believe it's particularly likely - but you have to let people make their own mistakes. I guarantee it will be worse for the kids if she feels they can't come around your place without getting the third degree about financial responsibility or anything else. It's just not the role of an adult's siblings or siblings-in-law to second-guess personal financial decisions. I could go on all night but I'll stop now. Sheesh.
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#78 of 90 Old 12-31-2009, 07:30 PM
 
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What I don't see is how it's any of your business. It's disappointing at this late date to still see this kind of thread on MDC - picking apart the choices of a third party who isn't here to defend themselves. With a poll, no less!
The OP was asking for other people's viewpoints to check her own views against.

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Like everyone, I have my own ideas about what I would or wouldn't do in that situation, but you know, it's just not relevant because I wasn't put on this earth to participate in a vote about strangers' personal choices. If you are not close enough to her to take the subject up with her directly, I don't see what you're going to accomplish by going behind her back, online, with judgment, other than to get yourself worked up about something you have no control over and will probably only lead to bad blood between you and her if you give into the temptation to get involved. If she ASKS you, you can give your opinion, respectfully. You can never know exactly what is going on in another person's situation unless they let you all the way in which she obviously has not. Did it even occur to you that her apparently cavalier attitude WRT bankruptcy may have just been her way of blowing off your nosiness? Why should she let you in on the details of her and her fiance's finances, be they good or bad? If you are really concerned about those kids, work on your relationship with them and let your SIL manage her own concerns as the responsible adult in HER family. It will be unfortunate if she really does end up bankrupt - although I don't think you have any REAL reason to believe it's particularly likely - but you have to let people make their own mistakes. I guarantee it will be worse for the kids if she feels they can't come around your place without getting the third degree about financial responsibility or anything else. It's just not the role of an adult's siblings or siblings-in-law to second-guess personal financial decisions. I could go on all night but I'll stop now. Sheesh.
I'm wondering where you got the idea that the OP was going to third-degree the kids, or confront her SIL about any of this? She never suggested anything of that ilk, whatsoever.

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#79 of 90 Old 12-31-2009, 07:36 PM
 
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The OP was asking for other people's viewpoints to check her own views against.
You mean, to see if the majoriy of people think she's right and her SIL is wrong?

This is a perfectly human tendency, I do it myself sometimes -- but I also agree with GalateaDunkel because, at least when *I* am doing it, if I'm honest with myself my only real motive is to get confirmation that I am right and the other person is wrong, regarding decisions they are making about their own life.

Which is most certainly none of my business. Unless they are asking my opinion.

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#80 of 90 Old 12-31-2009, 07:54 PM
 
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Fair enough - but when I do that, I'm also trying to understand the thinking behind the viewpoint I don't agree with. I got the feeling that was part of where the OP was coming from. In any case, I don't get any feeling whatsoever that the OP is planning to use our posts as ammo against her SIL, or harangue her niece and nephew.

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#81 of 90 Old 12-31-2009, 08:09 PM
 
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I would pay extra so my kids don't have to share a room.

I shared my room with my sister who was 10 years older then me and I HATED it. I would never do that to my kids is there was another option.
Is it possible that it wasn't the room sharing that was the problem, but the way your parents handled it?

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#82 of 90 Old 12-31-2009, 09:21 PM
 
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Fair enough - but when I do that, I'm also trying to understand the thinking behind the viewpoint I don't agree with. I got the feeling that was part of where the OP was coming from. In any case, I don't get any feeling whatsoever that the OP is planning to use our posts as ammo against her SIL, or harangue her niece and nephew.
Bolding mine ... I didn't get any feeling that she was going to harangue anyone, either.

And I actually don't harangue people when they make decisions that I disagree with. I'm just realizing that, at least for me, it's not all that constructive to try to figure out whether someone else is right or wrong, about the decisions they make without consulting me.

Edited to Add: So maybe that's one area where I disagree with GalateaDunkel, since I don't believe the OP's going to harangue anyone. I just agree with her that it's really none of our business to be talking about what some complete stranger who doesn't even post here, should be doing.

Not that I don't ever talk about people, because sometimes I do catch myself making these judgments. I just don't think it's healthy -- not for me, anyway.

And now here I am, going against my own advice by talking about what the OP should be doing, LOL.

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#83 of 90 Old 12-31-2009, 09:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I was just trying to get perspective. I won't talk to her about it because it's a decision for them, not for me.
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#84 of 90 Old 12-31-2009, 09:29 PM
 
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We have 3 kids and live in a 5 bedroom house. DH and I don't share a room (he snores). Each of our kids also have their own room. But guess what? Almost every other night I find all 3 kids in my youngest DD's room. She has bunk beds and a couch in her room and the kids all cram in there and share it, its comforting to them. If they aren't all in there at least one is always in the bed of another sibling. A lot of the time Dh and I have to go hunt for one child who is not in their own room and figure out where they decided to crash for the night.

In our house, rooms are for sleeping. They play in family rooms, together. I see no issue with sharing a room. The ONLY reason my kids have separate rooms is because we have the space. But none of them need or deserve a room of their own. At least once a year the kids do a room swap amongst themselves and often times the girls choose to share a room for awhile.

You don't need your own room to have personal space. A bed, or a desk can serve as this. As long as its a space that they can retreat to that is no one else's.

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#85 of 90 Old 12-31-2009, 09:33 PM
 
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I was just trying to get perspective. I won't talk to her about it because it's a decision for them, not for me.
I believe you.

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#86 of 90 Old 12-31-2009, 09:41 PM
 
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This isn't just about the OPs SIL. It speaks to a general trend in american culture to provide for our children beyond our means because we feel like we are some how harming them if we don't. houses are clearly getting bigger and bigger even though families are not. It is becoming increasingly uncommon for siblings to share rooms. I think this is great fodder for a discussion, OPs SIL aside. what the heck else do we all have to sit around and gab about.

if I may throw out a slightly related question..My MIL has a 4 bedroom house. She had two children who got settled into the larger two bedrooms. then several years later had twins. they ended up sharing the very tiny nursery for 16 years. In our house we have two bedrooms and three girls. that means one got their own room and the other two shared. I handled it quite differently than MIL though. we rotated every couple years, who ever was the most obnoxious sleeper or the lightest sleeper or whatever fit the needs of everyone getting sleep is how we divied things up and the two sharing a room got the biggest room. (both houses had play rooms so no one was cramming everyones belongings into their bed room) in a situation where not everyone has to share a room do you think it is fair that one or two kids got their own room? were not the two kids sharing entitled to as much as their siblings had? how would you have handled that?

I do not think kids are entitled to their own rooms or even their own beds. . . . As it is we are all lucky to have a roof over our heads and thats how it was growing up. its a good day around here when you don't have to sleep on the floor....

in your SIL case...she does realize if it drives her into bankruptsy she will not get to keep the house most likely....and then they will have no rooms...just throwing that out there.

it is more complicated with the step siblings. Heres the thing though, when you go to visit the non-custodial parent you are visiting. it is not your home and the greatest most private room is not going to change that. I have been the visited, the visitor, and my children visit at their dads every other weekend. non-custodial parents place is not your home no matter how you dress it up.

and yes it sucks having your visiting step sister crash in your room. especially if you have different bed times. especially if she crashes in your bed. especially if she snores.... It made me really really resent my step sister. I am not sure why she didn't share a room with her sister who lived at our house. Not sure why she couldn't stay up later. but that is not relevent to the discussion. just saying. but everyone needs to pull together to make it work. however it has to work. its two days, every other weekend. I would expect my children to suck it up in the name of family. besides sharing a room is a good way to get to know your step siblings and bond a little (I can't lie, as much as I hated sharing my room with her it is the only time I spent getting to know her and grew kinda fond of her. I think there was about 6 years between us. maybe four. clearly I did not get to know her that well.....) But I would recommend everyone have their own beds. and visitors have a private lockable space to put some of their stuff.

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

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#87 of 90 Old 12-31-2009, 10:28 PM
 
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I voted other. I do think kids should have their own rooms if possible, and definitely as teens. I also think kids should get to visit Disneyland at least once as kids, and to have college paid for if they keep a certain grade point. Of course that is all dependant on finances!

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Originally Posted by anj_rn View Post
How to divide has a lot to do with how old the kids are. I know the girls are 4 yrs apart and the boys are 6 yrs apart, but how old are each of them?

I would also commit to trying it out in the current house before a big move.
I agree - what are ages and genders of SIL's kids and her fiance's kids? And I'd definitely try to convert a room or two in the house to make it work for the fiance's kids to have some space of their own. You could do some pretty cool stuff with a tiny portion of what it would cost to buy a big house in an expensive area.

When I was a kid, a family with four kids (three girls and one boy) had the two oldest girls (only a year apart) share a room that had previously been a one car attached garage. They took out the garage door and made a wall. They then put a floor to ceiling bookshelf type thing in the middle of the room with just enough room on one end to walk around it. Each girl got one side, and each girl got to paint her side any way/color she wanted. It turned out really cool. This was originally a three bedroom house - and in the end the parents had one room, the boy had one room, the baby (girl) had one room, and the two older girls shared what had been the garage.

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I just can't wrap my mind around the idea that anyone would actually knowingly risk bankruptcy to ensure that each child had their own room.
It is hard to tell if the SIL was lamenting that this plan may result in bankruptcy OR if the OP mentioned that and her SIL agreed it is possible - just to avoid the argument, 'cause well, anything is possible. I doubt SIL would go into this if she thought losing the house and filing bankruptcy was the most likely end result.

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I understand that she would want them to have their own space, but could they not maybe convert a garage or attic or basement or something?
Exactly!!! Garage, attic, basement, current office, bonus room, even enclosing a front porch could work. Any of these options would be cheaper than buying a new house, and keep SIL's kids in their school district without the stress of a move. A closet to make the room an official/legal bedroom is totally unnecessary. Buy a dresser!

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Originally Posted by GalateaDunkel View Post
her apparently cavalier attitude WRT bankruptcy may have just been her way of blowing off your nosiness? Why should she let you in on the details of her and her fiance's finances, be they good or bad? If you are really concerned about those kids, work on your relationship with them and let your SIL manage her own concerns as the responsible adult in HER family.
I understand and agree with this - but as long as the OP keeps her info anonymous and her opinions to herself (and she has said she is) then it is an interesting topic since our society does seem to have an issue with buying more than we can afford - and why do we do it?
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#88 of 90 Old 01-01-2010, 02:13 PM
 
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Despite this financial reality, they plan to sell her house and buy a five-bedroom house in the Chicago area ($$$$$$) because they feel each child DESERVES their own room. My SIL said that even if they are put into bankruptsy, which she acknowledges is a possibility, they have to do this so kids don't have to share rooms.
I want to comment on the words "DESERVES" and "bankruptcy" in your post. From the wording of your post, these words were spoken by your SIL? If so, I can see myself using the same words to describe the same situation. Not to describe reality but for hyperbole to emphasis my seriousness in seeking a solution of the soon-to-be blended family that would take into account the feelings of all the members including the ones who will only be part-time members. In discussions with all the children--we will be barely able to afford a house with separate rooms for all of you but only if we move away from all your friends, your other parent, your schools and cut out any extracurricular activities that you are now enjoying. Put like that, I can see the teens deciding on their own that sharing a room for those 4 days a month is doable.

On the other hand room sharing with that age gap is hard. When Joy and family moved in with us, Dylan wanted Alex to share his room. There is a 7 year age gap between them. It only lasted a short time before Dylan requested another sleeping arrangement. Here bedrooms aren't just used for sleeping. Dylan's Lego collection has to be played with in his room because of his much younger nephews and niece (now only the youngest nephew, age 1 on the 7th). He does his homework in his room when the rest of the house is to chaotic and noisy. Or he just wants to be alone which is happening more frequently as he becomes a teen. And his bedtime is different.

BTW what about your SIL's children? Won't they also be there part time? Even if the new house will be their primary residence?

Chris--extended breastfeeding, cloth diapering, babywearing, co-sleeping, APing, CLW, homeschooling before any of this was a trend mom to Joy (1/78), Erica (8/80), Angela (9/84), Dylan (2/98)
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#89 of 90 Old 01-01-2010, 02:32 PM
 
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Umm deserve?? that is a weird word to use It might be a nice thing something important for your family something even worth a level of financial strain to obtain it but "deserved" ummm well not really. Saying that I'll freely admit I'm very glad that baby #2 on its way now will eventually occupy room #3 and her older sister will remain in hers. While we of course would have figured out how to put two in one in our situation if we were still in our apartment I'm still glad that I wont have a 7+ year old who is now into tiny things sharing with a baby (much less when sehs gets to be a toddler). Both rooms lucily will be set up to allow for a "guest" so sisters can share if they like it just wont be a necessity. I'm thankful yes but I wouldn't personally put my family through extreme debt to make it happen.

Deanna

Wife to DH since August 01 mom to a bubbly girl October 2002 and our newest gal March 2010
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#90 of 90 Old 01-01-2010, 06:49 PM
 
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Deserve is a strong word that brings up entitlement issues, but...add me to the list that feels kids deserve a space of their own and some privacy. Divorce is a really sad thing when you're a kid, and having somewhere to get away from everyone can really help.

My parents divorced when I was 9. I slept on his couch when I visited. He and his GF chainsmoked, when they woke up, obviously, I woke up. I hated it. I hated going there. I lovd my dad. He lived too far away for daytrips, but I just hated, hated, hated going to his apartment.

When my mom and I temporarily moved into her BF's apt, he made me a little bed on the landing of his stairwell. It had a trundle under for my stuff. Was slightly off the living room so I could sleep when I wanted. A WORLD OF DIFFERENCE--they thought about me and gave me a place. It didn't need to be a whole room.

From that perspective, I think it's great your SIL and her husband are trying to give their kids a home that they can also call their own. Not be wedged into a bunk bed in, let's face it, someone else's room. Not to be a guest. I applaud that. All of those kids have already been through a lot of change. It's very refreshing to have someone actually think of them! In most divorces, it seems like the kids are the afterthoughts.

As far as the bankruptcy thing--that sounds a little like a worst case and unlikely scenario. There are a lot of miles in between looking for a new house and going bankrupt. They might find a new house with one more bedroom that was big enough to divide, or a downstairs room that would work better than their current space. It's not necessary that they move into a mansion--but that's your SIL/BIL's decision and they know their finances lots better than I do!
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