Is there any music that's NOT Ok for kids to listen to? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 104 Old 01-09-2010, 01:48 PM
 
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When dd1 was in grade 2, there was a talent show. She was bound and determined that she was going to sing a solo at it (there were auditions, iirc). She was going to sing Patricia the Stripper, by Chris de Burgh.

...For Patricia is the best stripper in town,
And with a swing of her hips she started to strip,
To tremendous applause she took off her drawers,

etc. Great, fun song, not appropriate for a 2nd grader in a Catholic school to sing at school.
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#62 of 104 Old 01-09-2010, 02:04 PM
 
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What about artists like Tori Amos (one of my personal favs) whose lyrics I think are so obscure that I even have a hard time figuring out what the hell she's going on about? I know that she has some very strong opinions on things way beyond what I want DS exposed to at this age but they are cleverly disguised, most of the time. But music itself, the piano, the rhythm I think is amazing.
If the lyrics are that obscure, they'll just go over his head anyway.

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#63 of 104 Old 01-09-2010, 04:48 PM
 
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Originally Posted by newbymom05 View Post
I don't understand the attitude of "they listen to what I/we/the adults listen to" or "only GOOD music" which seems to always mean adult music. Do these children also watch the same tv and movies their parents watch, since the dialog and subject matter is over their heads or because the parents just don't like children's shows?
You know... Some kids music is good music. Some kids music is more violent then most adult music. Have you listened to "The Cat Came Back" recently?

"The man around the corner swore he'd kill the cat on sight,
He loaded up his shotgun with nails and dynamite;
He waited and he waited for the cat to come around,
Ninety seven pieces of the man is all they found."

I doubt I'd let my kids watch a movie with a guy who blows himself up trying to kill a cat.

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#64 of 104 Old 01-09-2010, 06:35 PM
 
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I think some people don't give their kids enough credit for actually understanding the lyrics of songs. Of course, I don't know most of the artists mentioned, so I don't know if the lyrics are sung or actually screamed as they seem to be mostly these days. I listened to the Beatles on 8-track and remember the fallout of the their breakup (too young to remember the actual breakup), so as usual, I feel one generation beyond the discussion.

The reason I say that kids often understand more than we give them credit for, is because of something my dd said this summer. She's 7. I was listening to an old Rush album. There's a song called "The Trees". The song is about equality and dd totally picked up on that. She asked some very deep questions about why the oak trees were bullies, etc. While this song isn't terribly obscure to adults, it would be to children. Dd and I have had many deep discussions stemming from music.

I honestly do believe that music (and lyrics) is one of many things that influence the way we are raising our children. I'm careful about that. That's not censorship. That's good parenting.
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#65 of 104 Old 01-09-2010, 06:40 PM
 
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I doubt I'd let my kids watch a movie with a guy who blows himself up trying to kill a cat.
That's a good point. In the same manner that I'm careful about what I let dd watch or do on the computer/internet, I'm careful about music. I can't wrap my head around the comments that this is "censorship". And from your example, it shows that parents need to be careful about all genres of music... even kid's tunes.
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#66 of 104 Old 01-09-2010, 09:49 PM
 
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Our kids, 5 and 15 months, love Tool and A Perfect Circle. We definitely censor the music though, because a lot of the songs would be too much. But both kids rock out to Lateralus. And DS calls Disposition "Watch the weather change", he loves to listen to it right before bedtime. I love having DS ask questions about songs like APC's "Fiddle and the Drum" - makes for good conversations.

He heard Lady Gaga's Poker Face once and thought they were saying "Poke her face", he giggled about it all day.

Basically if it's got a lot of swear words or violence we don't play it around them. Overt sexual lyrics or videos as well. I'd rather cycle through the 3-4 Tool songs on any cd that aren't too crazy than play pretty much anything that comes on the radio.

Breaking Benjamins has been a pretty good compromise.

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#67 of 104 Old 01-09-2010, 11:01 PM
 
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DH & I listen to such a huge variety of music that we pretty much decide on a song-by-song basis. Our son (4.5) LOVES music of all kinds, but his preference runs toward classic rock with lots of guitar and good drum beats. We made him his own playlist on our iTunes, and when he hears a song he likes he asks us to put it on his playlist. Sometimes he likes to click around our full collection and find new stuff, but we're always listening with him and he is fine with it if we ask him to skip a song because it might be scary or have bad words in it. 90% of the time he listens to his own playlist, which are all "approved" songs: ABBA, Beastie Boys, The Beatles, Billy Idol, Bob Marley, Cake, CCR, Grateful Dead, Joan Jett, Led Zeppelin, Michael Jackson, Prince, Queen, The Ramones, U2, Violent Femmes (to name just a few!) I can probably think of at least one song (in some cases many!) by each of these artists that I would prefer he not listen to until he's older.

I know he listens to the lyrics because he will sometimes ask me what a song is about - but there are other times when he is singing to himself a song that I *thought* he knew the lyrics to, and I realize that he has just memorized the sounds and not the actual words. Kind of like the way opera singers learn to sing in Italian. We (DS & I) have also had some very cool conversations about the emotions we feel when we hear certain songs. One in particular I remember was about the song With or Without You by U2, which is one of his very favorite songs. He said that he could tell that Bono was sad when he sang that song, and he had this whole theory about why that was, but I remember being amazed and very moved that a 4-year-old could empathize so well with the emotions he heard in music.

We don't have a whole lot of kid-specific music because DS just isn't that into it, but we do really like They Might Be Giants, as well as the "Snack Time" CD by The Barenaked Ladies.
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#68 of 104 Old 01-10-2010, 12:50 AM
 
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Originally Posted by velochic View Post
That's a good point. In the same manner that I'm careful about what I let dd watch or do on the computer/internet, I'm careful about music. I can't wrap my head around the comments that this is "censorship". And from your example, it shows that parents need to be careful about all genres of music... even kid's tunes.

I think perhaps you are unnecessarily assigning "badness" to censorship. In this context I see it as a neutral. If you suppress your children's access to <insert thing here> then you are, in fact, censoring that for your child. So what? As parents we suppress our children's access to a lot of things (well, msot of us, myself included)

That's why so many *adults* find censorship for themselves objectionable--because it's some stranger exercising parental-like authority and guidance over them. But as a parent, dare I say you are SUPPOSED to have boundaries and guidance for your children?
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#69 of 104 Old 01-10-2010, 01:20 AM
 
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What about artists like Tori Amos (one of my personal favs) whose lyrics I think are so obscure that I even have a hard time figuring out what the hell she's going on about? I know that she has some very strong opinions on things way beyond what I want DS exposed to at this age but they are cleverly disguised, most of the time. But music itself, the piano, the rhythm I think is amazing.
Her more recent albums, I am ok with. She has become much more complex over the years & the obscurity has softened the raw qualities of the first album--the one with the white cover and her in the small box? I don't want my girls to listen to that. They're just not ready for it. "Me and a Gun?" No way. "Silent All These Years?" No. Maybe "Happy Phantom," but really, when the best candidate from the entire album begins with "And if I die today I'll be the happy phantom," imo, it's best to just skip it.

My 8yo wanted the American Idiot (Green Day) album on her mp3 player. I gave it to her. I deleted it when I heard her singing very clearly "alcohol and cigarettes and Mary Jane to keep me insane/ doin someone else's cocaine..."

The Jonas Brothers make me want to stab my eye out...but I'd much rather hear my kid singing about her great grand daughter who lives under water, y/k?

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#70 of 104 Old 01-10-2010, 01:18 PM
 
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We listen to pretty much everything around here (except country), and the only songs i can think of that i have turned off include some older rap (tupac, dr.dre, snoop) and a few NIN songs. I have listened to Rage around them, but not the Killing in the name of song. Basically i don't have a problem with a song saying a bad word or two, but i do have a problem with it being a chorus lyric which they repeat over and over and over again.

I grew up with a mom who listened to very hard metal, and rock and the only songs she censored were NIN closer, and Beck's loser. The first song my little brother sang was a Nirvana song, "Lake of Fire" he would belt it out at the grocery store and embarrass my mom .

My son's favorite artists include Seether and Korn. My daughter is into the more poppy stuff i listen to when i work out. I think there are questionable words/themes in most music and i can't stand kids music so i'm willing to deal with the fallout.

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#71 of 104 Old 01-10-2010, 01:30 PM
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We listen to many types of music, including rap and punk. Probably the only thing none of us like is hard rock/metal. I skip things if they are sexually graphic, homophobic, or use the N word prominently. I don't mind cursing. My kids really love a lot of "classics"-- Bob Dylan, the Beatles, Johnny Cash, Michael Jackson. They like good or funny lyrics.
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#72 of 104 Old 01-10-2010, 03:07 PM
 
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Interesting discussion!

We don't seem to have anything too hard in this house. The only thing we have I can think that I would probably censor (if I thought about it) is Sublime and Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy.

I will probably be more aware of it after this thread.

Then again, ds (5) is known to be front and center (with earplugs) when dh's band plays. And they often open with Folsom Prison and their originals may or may not include some references to the reefers.

Due to my older siblings, I was listening to Billy Joel's Glass Houses album and Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody at a pretty young age. I remember finding the latter so chilling. It's pretty funny to remember myself dancing to Only the Good Die Young, though.
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#73 of 104 Old 01-10-2010, 03:10 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Irishmommy View Post
When dd1 was in grade 2, there was a talent show. She was bound and determined that she was going to sing a solo at it (there were auditions, iirc). She was going to sing Patricia the Stripper, by Chris de Burgh.

...For Patricia is the best stripper in town,
And with a swing of her hips she started to strip,
To tremendous applause she took off her drawers,

etc. Great, fun song, not appropriate for a 2nd grader in a Catholic school to sing at school.
Hahaha!
In 2nd grade, my best friend and I entered the talent show dancing to Barry Manilow's Copa Cabana.

We did some interesting moves to "with feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there". Oh goodness.
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#74 of 104 Old 01-10-2010, 03:52 PM
 
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We don't really censor music from our kids. The Beatles are one of their favorite things to listen to. I probably wouldn't let them listen to, say, hardcore gangster rap or anything, but I don't listen to that either.

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#75 of 104 Old 01-10-2010, 04:42 PM
 
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Beatles would have been OK with me.

But, I was very picky about the music my daughter listened to. When her friends were listening to "Spice Girls", I wouldn't let my daughter listen to it. She still had Vegi Tales CDs instead. (kindergarten/1st grade)

Last year, she had a dance recital. (she's 17 now) and one of the songs the fifth graders were dancing to was "Something in your mouth" By Nickleback. I personally like tha song... on my own IPOD... but, it was the absolutely most innapropriate song for a children's dance recital... no matter what age was dancing to it.
We don't have children yet but we have so many different types of music, I don't see us censoring much of it, but talking about it as well as listening.

However, I just clicked your link and listened to the Nickleback song, and I can't believe that the school had them dancing to that! I agree, a most inappropriate song for a children's dance recital.

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#76 of 104 Old 01-11-2010, 06:23 AM
 
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My kids listen to the music I listen to which can be anything from classical to top 40 stuff. No heavy rap or super offensive lyrics, not to shield them but because I just don't listen to it personally.

I would not say any lyrics are too complex. Kids have an amazing way of picking up new things, both good and bad. My almost 6 year old speaks three languages and my 3.5 year old is almost there as well.

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#77 of 104 Old 01-11-2010, 09:03 AM
 
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As a child, I always LOVED the song "mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school, we have tortured all the teachers...."
I loved it because it was "bad" and I wasn't supposed to sing it. That's half the thrill, kwim?
So now I sing it for my kids, who are 5 and 3.

Most stuff I am OK with. I often listen to Pink Floyd when the kids are around. In the shower I sing hendrix: hey joe, where you going with that gun in your hand? Goin down, to shoot my old lady down to the ground, you know I caught her messin round town with another man. suppose that is as off as I get. Hmm, not sure if I would like them hearing Queen: moma, I don't want to die, sometimes wish I'd never been born at all....
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#78 of 104 Old 01-11-2010, 09:22 AM
 
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Haha, love the comments about drawing the line at Sublime. . .we totally play it in the car. We don't censor music (at least not yet, maybe when my kids are older if they start listening to ultra violent rap that talks about killing people or harming women--then we'll re-evaluate), what we listen to, our children listen to. DD and DS love to sing along in the car and often sings the "curse" words right along with the music. I'm also one of those parents who doesn't censor my language just because my children are in the room. They do know that there are words they don't say around others and have known this for a long time.

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#79 of 104 Old 01-11-2010, 09:43 AM
 
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I never like the word "censorship" being used in threads like this, because censorship is more about the government deciding what people should be able to listen to. This is parental discretion, not censorship.
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#80 of 104 Old 01-11-2010, 10:53 AM
 
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Hmm, not sure if I would like them hearing Queen: moma, I don't want to die, sometimes wish I'd never been born at all....
My son loves Bohemian Rhapsody - one day he was listening to it and looking thoughtful about that part. He said, "Mommy, *I* don't wish that...I'm GLAD I was born!"
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#81 of 104 Old 01-11-2010, 11:20 AM
 
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You know... Some kids music is good music. Some kids music is more violent then most adult music. Have you listened to "The Cat Came Back" recently?

"The man around the corner swore he'd kill the cat on sight,
He loaded up his shotgun with nails and dynamite;
He waited and he waited for the cat to come around,
Ninety seven pieces of the man is all they found."

I doubt I'd let my kids watch a movie with a guy who blows himself up trying to kill a cat.
I screen my kid's music the same way I screen their tv and movies. So no, I haven't heard the song you referenced, nor have my children. So far, Raffi, the Wiggles, Putamayo, Sandra Boynton, etc haven't had any death or violent imagery, or at least the songs we have.

Really, though, Grimm's fairy tales and most nursery rhymes are horribly violent. Rock a Bye Baby has the baby falling out of a tree, for cripe's sake. With contemporary music, I"m more concerned w/ drug and sexual references that aren't appropriate for my preschooler than w/ violent ones, although I'd certainly prefer to steer clear of the more egregious violent ones as well.

Oh, and language--I'm not ready to explain or hear words like ass, bitch, pimp, etc coming from my 2 and 4 y/o's. As my mom likes to say, let's save something for later.
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#82 of 104 Old 01-11-2010, 11:28 AM
 
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Haha, love the comments about drawing the line at Sublime. . .we totally play it in the car. We don't censor music (at least not yet, maybe when my kids are older if they start listening to ultra violent rap that talks about killing people or harming women--then we'll re-evaluate), what we listen to, our children listen to. DD and DS love to sing along in the car and often sings the "curse" words right along with the music. I'm also one of those parents who doesn't censor my language just because my children are in the room. They do know that there are words they don't say around others and have known this for a long time.
I posted about Sublime being my "line" on a recent trip

IMO, some of Sublime is clearly about killing people and harming women/girls. And the language is stark/undisguised. Do you disagree?
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#83 of 104 Old 01-11-2010, 11:37 AM
 
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I also don't think that some kids "get" a lot of even pretty overt (to adults) euphanisms.
That's been my experience as well. Before age 10 or 11, my daughters missed most of the innuendo in popular song lyrics, and by the time they were old enough to understand what it meant, they were mature enough to deal with it. I'm sure there are some parents who disagree with my latter point, and would restrict what their young adolescents are exposed to.

I really don't mind a few strong words when they're in context. I can't stand the censored version of Nickleback's "Rockstar"- I honestly do not have a problem with any of my kids hearing "dress my in the latest fashions". Just last night, the kids and I were listening to various songs on YouTube, and we came across some of Nickleback's (newest? oldest?) stuff that we'd never heard before. Some of it had REALLY raunchy lyrics- one of them was about having sex while driving. DD1 and DD2 were sitting there with their jaws dropping and telling me "you CANNOT let DS listen to this!" But DS didn't understand a word of it- he understood the driving part, but all the "not the slightest bit subtle" innuendo was 100% lost on him.

We don't even enjoy that kind of thing, and won't be listening to it on purpose again- but my point is that the 8yo was completely unnaware of how innapropriate that song was.

If I enjoyed listening to songs with more graphic lyrics, I might have to restrict what I listened to in front of the kids. But since I don't, I've never seen any reason to censor my own music in front of them.

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#84 of 104 Old 01-11-2010, 11:44 AM
 
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Heheheh, we listened to The Internet is for Porn driving from PA to VA a few years ago because it was on this mix CD that DH made for the drive. I wanted to FFwd past the song, but the kids wanted to hear it. I kept telling my daughter they were saying the Internet is for CORN because you can buy corn online.
My daughter thought Pat Monahan's "Her Eyes" said, "She thinks all men are addicted to corn," instead of "She thinks all men are addicted to porn."

It was fitting -- my partner is much more into corn than porn most days! But I did explain why I was laughing when I heard her sing it, and now she laughs too.

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#85 of 104 Old 01-11-2010, 11:48 AM
 
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I don't understand the attitude of "they listen to what I/we/the adults listen to" or "only GOOD music" which seems to always mean adult music. Do these children also watch the same tv and movies their parents watch, since the dialog and subject matter is over their heads or because the parents just don't like children's shows?
In our house, yes, the kids watch lots of "adult" movies and shows, and they like them (my almost-4 year old loves "the grumpy doctor show" ie: House and they picked The Hangover to rent the other day even though we'd seen it in the theaters too ). They also watch "kid" stuff like Transformer cartoons and Wizards of Waverly Place -- and when we go to the movies, sometimes I pick, sometimes they pick, sometimes their dad picks. But yeah, I like exposing them to all sorts of things and I find most "little kid" shows/music very hard to sit through myself.

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#86 of 104 Old 01-11-2010, 12:14 PM
 
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I don't censor music for our kids. We listen to alot of classic rock and my sister who the kids see alot had my DD at 4 singing " where did you get your body? I got it from my mama"

Like others have said I don't think kids get alot of it.
I can remember singing beastie boys fight for your right at a very young age.
It wasn't until I was an adult and heard the song that I realised I was singing " My Mom threw away my best p*rno mag"

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#87 of 104 Old 01-11-2010, 12:36 PM
 
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I remember being 9, and listening to John Mellencamp's "Hurt so Good" on the radio with my sister (11). She was emphatically explaining that I could not let my mom hear me sing that song, and I couldn't figure out why, lol.
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#88 of 104 Old 01-11-2010, 02:18 PM
 
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Originally Posted by newbymom05 View Post
I screen my kid's music the same way I screen their tv and movies. So no, I haven't heard the song you referenced, nor have my children. So far, Raffi, the Wiggles, Putamayo, Sandra Boynton, etc haven't had any death or violent imagery, or at least the songs we have.

Really, though, Grimm's fairy tales and most nursery rhymes are horribly violent. Rock a Bye Baby has the baby falling out of a tree, for cripe's sake. With contemporary music, I"m more concerned w/ drug and sexual references that aren't appropriate for my preschooler than w/ violent ones, although I'd certainly prefer to steer clear of the more egregious violent ones as well.

Oh, and language--I'm not ready to explain or hear words like ass, bitch, pimp, etc coming from my 2 and 4 y/o's. As my mom likes to say, let's save something for later.
Movies, TV, books, or music I have never understood the bolded to be honest. Violence (though not too violent) is ok, but sex isn't...

We are more likely to censor violence the sex in our house though.

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#89 of 104 Old 01-11-2010, 02:32 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post
Movies, TV, books, or music I have never understood the bolded to be honest. Violence (though not too violent) is ok, but sex isn't...

We are more likely to censor violence the sex in our house though.


It varies for us. We'll play music we like, so DH has country on in the car.

We burned copies of our children's music so that DS could change CDs and play the music he likes without damaging the originals. He does like Barney, alas, but he also likes Free to be You and Me, much of Bob from Sesame Street, the Baby Signing Time music, and others.

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#90 of 104 Old 01-11-2010, 02:46 PM
 
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Music has a huge influence on all of us and social mores are constantly changing about what is acceptable and what is not. It is interesting to read a review about Elvis when he appeared on the Ed Sullivan show:

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Elvis Presley had 'injected movements of his tongue and indulged in wordless singing that were singularly distasteful.' Overstimulating the physical impulses of the teenagers was 'a gross national disservice.'"
Back in the day Elvis was unacceptable to many many parents and if anything it only enhanced his popularity. I think this is true of most kids and this is why I will let my son listen to music that has adult themes and ideas.

Music is such a powerful medium I want my son's first exposure to be with me, because he will be exposed regardless of any attempts to censure. When he does "get it" we can talk about the message and the meaning.
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