Is there any music that's NOT Ok for kids to listen to? - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

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#91 of 104 Old 01-11-2010, 03:09 PM
 
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I just won't listen to crap. So that rules out most kids music right there!

I listen to almost all my music with the kids around. The only thing I censor is the hard-core gangster rap and some of the death metal.

My 5yo loves to shock people and I don't want her to hear the n-word yet, because she doesn't have the maturity to understand why we don't say it and why it hurts people, so we will leave that conversation for later.

The death metal I love and think is funny, but my husband asked me not to play it in front of them, so, ok.

"MY best interest?...How can YOU say what MY best interest is?...When I went to YOUR schools, I went to YOUR churches, I went to YOUR institutional learning facilities."-ST
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#92 of 104 Old 01-11-2010, 03:15 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mamazee View Post
If I'd be embarassed if she sang the lyrics in front of someone, that's probably a good indication that she shouldn't be hearing them.
Sounds like the best idea...

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#93 of 104 Old 01-11-2010, 05:01 PM
 
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Originally Posted by betsyj View Post
Back in the day Elvis was unacceptable to many many parents and if anything it only enhanced his popularity. I think this is true of most kids and this is why I will let my son listen to music that has adult themes and ideas.

Music is such a powerful medium I want my son's first exposure to be with me, because he will be exposed regardless of any attempts to censure. When he does "get it" we can talk about the message and the meaning.
ITA! I'd rather my kids be exposed to music, bad language, a glass of wine, insert indulgence here.... around me. I want it all open for discussion - including THEIR discussion and THEIR views. If they don't get it here, they WILL get it somewhere else. When I am not around, then someone else gets to decide what it all means.

This doesn't mean I have to listen to rap 24/7 or swear like a sailer or get drunk every evening, but in the normal course of life these things should come up. Some of these life experiences will come up, hopefully when I am around, though I am sure many will also be at other times. I think having everything more open will only encourage them to get ideas from me, even if they disagree, then me hiding life from them and them sneaking off to discover it elsewhere.
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#94 of 104 Old 01-11-2010, 05:11 PM
 
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For me, anything that promotes hate (racist, sexist, etc) is off limits. Also, songs that are overly sexual or promote the idea of women as sex objects.
Other than that, I can't think of anything that's not ok for ds. Dp teaches guitar, and ds learns a lot of the songs that he teaches. He teaches all kinds of stuff. I thought it was really funny when ds started singing a line out of "White Wedding" lol.

oh yeah- and songs that are all about violence. Those are not ok.

Becky, partner to Teague, SAHM to Keagan (7yo), Jonah (2yo)
 

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#95 of 104 Old 01-11-2010, 06:17 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post
Movies, TV, books, or music I have never understood the bolded to be honest. Violence (though not too violent) is ok, but sex isn't...

We are more likely to censor violence the sex in our house though.
Yeah I don't get that either. I used to work in a video store when I was in High School and parents would always ask why something was rated PG-13 or R and if it was for violence, they were like "oh that's okay" but if it was for sex they wouldn't rent it.

I dunno about other people, but I assume by kid will grow up and have sex one day (I hope he does), however I also hope he NEVER blows up a car or shoots someone etc! So I would way rather he be exposed to consensual sex references than violent references!
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#96 of 104 Old 01-11-2010, 10:12 PM
 
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I tend to censure music that doesn't emulate the values we have as a family. We don't listen to music with violence, sex, alcohol, drugs, or religion in it in our house. We also avoid movies with those themes. When my dd is older and can verbalize why listening to that kind of music or watching those types of movies is important to her than I may reconsider. I just don't see any value in those types of music and am not going to introduce her to music that encourages bad values.

Dd has a seven year old friend who listens to the sex music and emulates the singer. We stopped inviting her over after she wanted to play whore babies with my dd she also told me what a whore does. I don't think that songs and movies go over kids heads as often as we want them to.
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#97 of 104 Old 01-11-2010, 10:16 PM
 
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Originally Posted by water View Post
I just won't listen to crap. So that rules out most kids music right there!
There really is some decent kids' music out there if you look for it. It's not the only thing my child listens to by far, but I have managed to find enough "good stuff" that when I do listen it's not unpleasant for me.

Blair, mom to the amazing Nora (8/06) ribboncesarean.gif, sweet Anneliese (2/10) vbac.gif, and super Henry (8/12) vbac.gif

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#98 of 104 Old 01-12-2010, 05:21 AM
 
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There really is some decent kids' music out there if you look for it. It's not the only thing my child listens to by far, but I have managed to find enough "good stuff" that when I do listen it's not unpleasant for me.
Some of the Putamayo CDs are ok, and I've found exactly one other CD I was willing to listen to, but we have played it way too many times now...

I dislike the dumbed-down music that is out there for kids. My kids both have had favorite classical pieces since they were 2 or 3, and they listen to a huge range of rock, hip-hop, rap, metal, classical, pop and more, so I don't really see the need to buy or play music that has no intrinsic musical value, but is somehow considered kid music.

"MY best interest?...How can YOU say what MY best interest is?...When I went to YOUR schools, I went to YOUR churches, I went to YOUR institutional learning facilities."-ST
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#99 of 104 Old 01-12-2010, 01:55 PM
 
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I avoid clearly audible profanity (I don't worry about inaudible-ish things) and references to killing people. A song has to be extremely sexual before I skip it with the kids around, but I can think of a few on my iPod that I skip (uh, "Gett Off" by Prince springs to mind).

I suppose I might skip a song with positive references to hard drugs. My oldest kid is only 6, too, so this may change a little as she grows older...I don't think she even has ever heard the word cocaine.

Interestingly, my DD's school recently did a performance featuring "White Rabbit" by Jefferson Airplane, which of course has drug references.

ETA that I am much stricter about screen media. DD has seen very few movies, period, and has never watched movies or TV intended for adults. I just think visuals add a whole other level of intensity. I also really hate the wiseass attitudes modeled on TV and movies--and I am talking about kids' shows here.

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#100 of 104 Old 01-12-2010, 02:34 PM
 
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I draw the line at a lot of swearing, violence and sex. I had to take an Ani Difranco cd away from DD not too long ago after hearing "my c&*^ looks like a wound that won't heal." Yeah, don't need her repeating those lyrics in school.

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Originally Posted by newbymom05 View Post
I don't understand the attitude of "they listen to what I/we/the adults listen to" or "only GOOD music" which seems to always mean adult music. Do these children also watch the same tv and movies their parents watch, since the dialog and subject matter is over their heads or because the parents just don't like children's shows?
My kids listen to kids music but if it's where I can hear it- the living room, kitchen, car etc- it has to be kids music that's decent. TMBG, Sandra Boynton, etc. If they want to listen to Wee Sing or something they can do it where I don't have to hear it.

Fortunately they tend to prefer classic rock and other older, adult stuff. DS digs the Beatles & Beastie Boys while DD likes Bob Dylan. Queen & Bob Marley are pretty high on their lists, too.

Amy, mom to LadyBug, SnuggleBug and StinkBug.  Expecting BabyBug in August 2011.
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#101 of 104 Old 01-12-2010, 03:17 PM
 
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Wow! We mostly limit our daughter (3.5 yrs) to kids music - Laurie Bertner, TMBG, For the Kids series, Dan Zanes, etc - or classical and jazz. She's a pretty sensitive kid and picks up on things pretty easily.

I also worry about her little brain (a little background here - I have a Masters in Clinical Psychology and teach general and developmental psych at a local university). Brain research shows that neural pathways are created pretty easily at this age and they just build over time. I really would prefer her to not have any neural pathways associated with some of the themes glorified by some of the music and other media out there (wanton sex, violence, strong language, etc) until she's a little older and has more processing power. And there is no way that I would allow her to watch adult television or movies - many of those images, even those in commercials, are just too much for a young brain to handle in my opinion.

I don't want her to think the types of behaviors portrayed in much of the media today are in any way acceptable, so I limit her exposure to them now. When she's older, she'll have plenty of chance to see/hear/experience these things and we can talk about them at that time. Young children are primed and ready to learn about the world, so I'd prefer to use my fully grown prefrontal cortex - i.e. adult judgement - to help my daughter learn the stuff that I think will be helpful rather than harmful to her in the long run.

This has been a very interesting thread...

Traci
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#102 of 104 Old 01-12-2010, 04:27 PM
 
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Originally Posted by water View Post
Some of the Putamayo CDs are ok, and I've found exactly one other CD I was willing to listen to, but we have played it way too many times now...

I dislike the dumbed-down music that is out there for kids. My kids both have had favorite classical pieces since they were 2 or 3, and they listen to a huge range of rock, hip-hop, rap, metal, classical, pop and more, so I don't really see the need to buy or play music that has no intrinsic musical value, but is somehow considered kid music.
Yeah, I don't like dumbed down stuff, either and I wasn't suggesting that you needed to "buy our play music that has no intrinsic musical value." I'm just saying that if you look, there's good stuff out there. If you don't care to look, that's certainly up to you. My kid listens to a wide variety of music, too (and also has fave classical pieces), and some quality "kids" music is part of that variety.

Blair, mom to the amazing Nora (8/06) ribboncesarean.gif, sweet Anneliese (2/10) vbac.gif, and super Henry (8/12) vbac.gif

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#103 of 104 Old 01-12-2010, 10:08 PM
 
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I have a problem letting my oldest dd (9) listen to grunge-which is tragic because it's some of my most favorite music ever, and she loves to play Pearl Jam and Nirvana on guitar (she rocks out on Smells like Teen Spirit!) Although she's primarily interested in this genre of music because she plays guitar, she has shown a lot of curiosity about the lyrics too. She's interested in Kurt Cobain, curious about his death, etc. etc. Since she has a considerable amount of angst for a child her age, I shield her from the lyrics for now.

Speaking of lyrics-when she heard Lady Gaga's Poker Face for the first time I'll be danged if she didn't pick up the phrase "bluffing with my muffin" and ask what it meant. And she would not let it drop. I had to find a way to explain it that wouldn't get me in trouble with the other moms at school-because I'm sure dd rushed to tell her friends on the playground the next day. yeesh-and I had scanned the lyrics quickly, too-it totally got by me.
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#104 of 104 Old 01-12-2010, 11:18 PM
 
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Originally Posted by sunnmama View Post
I posted about Sublime being my "line" on a recent trip

IMO, some of Sublime is clearly about killing people and harming women/girls. And the language is stark/undisguised. Do you disagree?
You're right. . .I guess the Sublime songs I listen to in the car aren't so blatant about violence as some of the other music I've listened to. I don't really care about the swearing. . .

Barbara:  an always learning SAHM of Ilana (11) and Aiden (8) living in Belgium with my amazing husband.

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