My parents are making me crazy. They watch my ds, who is almost 4, 1 day a week. They continuously disregard my wishes, ignore my requests, and just do stupid things.
Normally I am all for maintaining the relationship first and foremost provided they are loving, caring people who happen to not make the same food, parenting etc choices that I do.
However yours sound toxic and seeing that they are regular caregivers with out your presence means they will be a greater influence than if you just visited them every Sunday for example or had dinner with them once a week.
|They think its fine to feed him nothing but trashy chocolate/ cookies/ soda all day long. When I ask them to stop, they get pissy, sarcastic, rude, say things like "your mommy won't let you. your mommy says no" instead of more responsible answers.|
|They let him act like a spoiled brat, which he does not do elsewhere. They let him speak rudely, yell at them, hit, kick, push, which he does not do elsewhere.|
|Politics- they continuously push (right wing, extreme) politics on him. He's not even four! Does he need to know about politics? He surely should not be calling the president stupid without knowing why he is doing that!|
|And what is most weird to me, is that whenever I observe him there, he's in a bad mood. As soon as he gets there he is in a bad mood. It seems that I only have to mention them for ds's mood to change negatively. Yet he is crazy about his grandparents. Defends them with passion. Asks to go there nearly everyday.|
|I really do value that he is close to them, but I cannot handle the huge shift in personality. I feel like something is wrong. He goes from being amazingly sweet and centered, to this little beast. I feel like I should not be letting him go there anymore because I have to spend so much energy getting back to normal, after only 1 day with them!|
Pardon me while I
Jess SAHM to Daniel (09/07) and Samuel (06/10)and Katie Lee (11/11) we're with #4 edd 4/15 Wifey to my "geek" : David for 14 yrs. ( 4/09 @ 19 weeks).
My advice may not be appropriate for you. That's ok. You are just fine how you are and I am the right kind of me.
As for being dumb parents, after all the therapy and time healing wounds, I figured they'd learned enough to handle hanging out with their grandson on a positive level.
No, I would not let ANYONE else watch my kid under these circumstances, so really, that comment struck in a very positive light. I would never allow anyone to treat ds like that otherwise. It IS completely unacceptable that grandparents can.
And also, this situation has not been out of necessity, but rather out of what seemed like a mutual desire.
Thanks, everyone for the input and the insight. Much appreciated.
My parents taught my sisters and I to compete with each other, and as a result, I don't really speak much to either of them. I'm not a competitive person, and they are very much so. Jealousy is a foundation in everyone's personalities between my parents and sisters- I hate the emotion, and have sought my entire life to work it out of my system. My parents really like provoking jealousy. As a couple, they are really into fighting. It was one of the mainstays, ever constant in their relationship.