how old was your child when you let him or her take a bath without you in the room? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 115 Old 01-29-2010, 05:16 PM
 
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Our house is tiny, and from 18 months or so, maybe even a little sooner, I would do stuff, going back and forth past the bathroom, while they were in the tub. They were chatty, noisy, etc . . . I could always hear that they were fine.

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#62 of 115 Old 01-29-2010, 05:46 PM
 
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Originally Posted by spicyrock View Post
This isn't an issue of un-preparedness. It is one of curiosity about when other moms are comfortable doing some multi-tasking while their children are bathing, and how those comfort levels progress with the age of the child.
WELL the original post also asked about running REAL quick to get a diet coke. IT should gotten beforehand. A child that young should NEVER ever be left alone in the tub. EVER.
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#63 of 115 Old 01-29-2010, 05:51 PM
 
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Also, this is a HUGE safety no no. I could understand reaching around the corner for a towel(best to have it BEFOREHAND) , but I'd never leave the room to fold laundy..go to another room.. etc. Children can drown without you hearing a PEEP.. or for moms without faucet covers they could hit their heads/turn on the HOT water,etc. PLEASE do not leave young toddlers in the bathtub. I'm begging you all.
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#64 of 115 Old 01-29-2010, 06:07 PM
 
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The op did not ask for our best lectures, she asked how old your child was when you let him or her take a bath without you in the room.

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#65 of 115 Old 01-29-2010, 06:12 PM
 
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The op did not ask for our best lectures, she asked how old your child was when you let him or her take a bath without you in the room.
My post wasn't JUST for the OP it was in general for anyone.
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#66 of 115 Old 01-29-2010, 06:12 PM
 
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well, at 13 mos I would say you shouldn't leave them much further than arms length away, much less out of sight. Without me keeping an eye on them? I would say 4-5 yrs old, depending on kiddo and my home set-up.

As it is now, all four of my kids prefer showers and almost never take a bath, so it's not even an issue. I am okay with my 5, 7, and 9 yo taking a shower by themselves, and probably would be so with a bath if I was upstairs on the same level as they were bathing. Our house is big, though, so the thought of even the 5 yo up in the bath by himself for more than a min. or so is a bit scary.

I wouldn't call this over-protective. We are talking about water here, which can be deadly in a matter of seconds.

Grab a coke and extra towel before even running the bath water.

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#67 of 115 Old 01-29-2010, 06:44 PM
 
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DS is 33 months and I'll leave for a minute or less (within close earshot, door open) to throw his clothes in the hamper or grab something. Our upstairs is small - a square landing with 4 doors off it, one for each bedroom and one for the bathroom - so if I'm anywhere upstairs I'm very close to the bath.

But it depends on your child. DS sits in the bath, playing with letters or a boat. He's not a roughhousing kind of kid, so I don't worry about him standing and jumping around the tub in the 30 seconds I'm gone. I also don't fill the tub all the way, and our water heater is set low enough that the hottest water wouldn't be dangerous.
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#68 of 115 Old 01-29-2010, 08:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by bebebradford View Post
WELL the original post also asked about running REAL quick to get a diet coke. IT should gotten beforehand. A child that young should NEVER ever be left alone in the tub. EVER.
Since you read my posts so carefully, you must have also noticed that I said I have never left my daughter alone in the bath, for any length of time at all. Not for forgotten towels, not for diet cokes, not for chores I don't have time to finish. Therefore, your tone seems a little unnecessary.

Still, I don't think there is anything wrong with wondering what it might be like for both of us to have a little bit more freedom, or wondering when the day will come that my very, very loved and cared for and protected dear daughter will be old enough to leave alone for five seconds in the bath.

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#69 of 115 Old 01-29-2010, 08:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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OP here, home from a long day at work and ready for my baby to wake up and eat some dinner so we can make a big mess and then play in the bath!

See, I really meant it when I said that I enjoy dd's bathtime, and that my question was mostly for curiosity and future planning's sake. And I really appreciate all of the thoughtful and useful answers that have leaned in that direction...

What stands out to me the most about these responses is that I see good moms who know their children and who give thought-out answers that make sense, yet those answers run the gamut from 18 months to six years, and even extend a little bit beyond those boundaries.

I know my daughter will be able to take a bath by herself before she is four or five... but it is reassuring to know that it is not abnormal for me to sit right next to her while she plays in the tub now. And that there are at least some moms out there who won't think I am an awful person if I leave her side for ten or fifteen seconds, whatever my reason might be.

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#70 of 115 Old 01-29-2010, 08:57 PM
 
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I know you've already got your answer, but I just wanted to chime in and say that I considered the same things when DS was that age. I was just starting to think, "Oh, I can just go grab the phone/a towel/the laptop and come back" but hadn't dared to yet, when he suddenly slipped backward and would have gone under the water if I hadn't been RIGHT THERE. He was sitting, not standing, not about to stand, just sitting and shifted his weight a little on an apparently slippery spot. He was so scared, and I caught him just before his whole head went under, so I saw what could have been if I'd chosen that moment to turn my back.

Now he's 2, and I occasionally run out for a towel but I try not to, b/c now he's really flinging himself around in there!
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#71 of 115 Old 01-29-2010, 09:08 PM
 
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See, now you guys are making me feel a little guilty for asking! I've never left her alone even for five seconds before! I was just sitting in there the other day watching her play and wondered- could I run to the kitchen and grab a diet coke? Would she be okay if I folded the clothes just outside the bathroom door?

I guess the consensus will be- no! Good thing I have you mamas to ask
:-( Don't feel guilty at all. No one figures anything out if they don't ask.
I think it depends a lot on the kid. How steady they are, how their motor skills are, how nervous they are etc.
Both my kids were 2 1/2. My son is now 3 and 4 months and he just calls me in to wash him. I can do the dishes and whatever. As long as I can hear him, he's fine alone. I don't go outside and clean out the car or vacuum or anything but for the most part, he's alone.

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#72 of 115 Old 01-29-2010, 09:40 PM
 
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Op.. hun, I'm sorry if I came off the wrong way. I DID read your posts carefully. I never said you DID leave her alone. I'm just saying it's a bad idea.. that's all. I've read so many HORROR stories. Kids can drown in just a couple inches of water. More than likely they would be fine... but it's just risky. My tone wasn't supposed to be hateful.. it was more worried. I would hate for ANYTHING bad to happen to any child. It IS tempting to run and grab something,etc. I understand that, but then all the information about children and bathtub safety rush in.
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#73 of 115 Old 01-29-2010, 09:41 PM
 
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I know you've already got your answer, but I just wanted to chime in and say that I considered the same things when DS was that age. I was just starting to think, "Oh, I can just go grab the phone/a towel/the laptop and come back" but hadn't dared to yet, when he suddenly slipped backward and would have gone under the water if I hadn't been RIGHT THERE. He was sitting, not standing, not about to stand, just sitting and shifted his weight a little on an apparently slippery spot. He was so scared, and I caught him just before his whole head went under, so I saw what could have been if I'd chosen that moment to turn my back.

Now he's 2, and I occasionally run out for a towel but I try not to, b/c now he's really flinging himself around in there!
It's stories like these that have me staying in the bathroom and hovering like a hawk . Thank you for sharing! I'm so glad your babe was okay!!!
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#74 of 115 Old 01-29-2010, 11:31 PM
 
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I haven't read the whole thread, but if the OP is still wondering, mine are 4 & 3 and we started around age 3 with both. I don't exactly go rake the yard while the kids are in the bath, but I don't feel bad if I'm beebopping around the bathroom/kitchen/living room doing stuff when I can hear them playing and singing, etc.

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#75 of 115 Old 01-29-2010, 11:33 PM
 
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I rarely post over here, mostly a lurker, but this I HAVE to say something about.

I don't care how small a house is, a baby or young toddler can drown SILENTLY in minutes. It's a fear that will never leave me because I have a friend who lost a daughter that way. She was 14 months old. My friend got the bath going and stepped out for LESS than 2 minutes. When she came back in, her daughter's face was in the water and she wasn't moving. They did CPR and called 911. Their house was relatively small and she wasn't far away, but they heard nothing. Most likely her daughter stood up, slipped, and smacked her head, but there's no way to know for sure.

My DD is 2.5 and DH and I do not leave her alone in the bath. The most we will do is step outside the door to grab a towel from the closet that's next to the bathroom.
Thank you for sharing this story. Drowning absolutely can be silent.

My DS is 3 and I don't leave him alone for a second, although I can see that some 3 year olds would be fine by themselves for a very short period of time. I would never leave any child under the age of 3 alone for any length of time though.

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#76 of 115 Old 01-30-2010, 01:01 AM
 
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Originally Posted by spicyrock View Post
Would she be okay if I folded the clothes just outside the bathroom door?
I havent read all of the posts, but bring the clothes into the bathroom with you.

DS is almost 18mo & I often feel silly just sitting there while he is happily playing not engaging me at all (even when I try). So now I read or knit sitting on the floor next to the tub.

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#77 of 115 Old 01-30-2010, 02:50 AM
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I haven't read this whole thread, but I leave my 3 and 4 year olds, who bathe together, alone. I've been doing this for probably the last 6 months or so. I can hear them playing and splashing around and they know to call for me if anything should happen to either of them.
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#78 of 115 Old 01-30-2010, 02:56 AM
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Wanted to add: I do still take a bath with my DS, or I supervise while he is in the bath with his sisters.
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#79 of 115 Old 01-30-2010, 03:10 AM
 
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My 3rd who is 14 months I don't leave in the bathtub. I have stepped about 5 steps away to the closet right outside the bathroom door to grab a towel. But he's not *alone* he is with his siblings, and we are talking 3 seconds.
He also walks and stands, that is *why* it's dangerous--attempting to walk in a slippery tub has caused him to fall with me RIGHT THERE.

My kids who are 3 and 5, I started leaving when I knew they'd stay sitting. I still am *always* within earshot and usually stay in just because otherwise they splash all over.

My 5 year old has taken showers alone in the past 6 months. I make sure they actually WASH.

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#80 of 115 Old 01-30-2010, 11:49 AM
 
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Ds is 5 and I just started stepping out of the bathroom in the past year. Before swimming lessons last year, he absolutely would not put his head under water. I feared if he slipped under water he would panic.

Now I leave the room, but he plays quietly so I stay close by. I often yell out "how's it going?" if I hear a couple moments of silence.

A couple months ago he did slip while I happened to be right there and it did scare me because if I hadn't caught him he could have hit his head. But then, I suppose that same thing could happen when he's 7.


At 13 months, I probably did run out real quick to grab a towel or something if I had to. But I literally moved as fast as I could. I remember one time I had to let the sick dog outside. Normally though, I wouldn't do it.
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#81 of 115 Old 01-30-2010, 12:42 PM
 
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I would not leave a one or even a two year old alone except to reach around the corner to grab a towel or something like that.

3-4, I'm OK with them being by themselves for a minute or two, as I gather their clothes or get a book for myself to read. I'd leave a 5-6 yo alone as long as I could hear him and he knew to respond verbally when I called him to check on him. But I still wouldn't go to another floor of the house, or very far away, yk?
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#82 of 115 Old 01-31-2010, 05:46 PM
 
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I would not leave a thirteen month old in the tub alone in the bathroom. DS was about two when I started leaving him 'alone' in the bathroom. But I would go into the room directly across from him. I found that when I did this, he played better and longer in the tub. I could see and hear him the entire time, so there would have been no delay if something had happened.

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#83 of 115 Old 02-01-2010, 05:26 AM
 
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I think DD1 was 3 before I would leave the room and sit about 20 feet away, within line of sight. When DD2 was about 2 and in the bath with her sister (3 years older) I'd leave for the same chair. After I was reasonably sure she would stay seated. But if she took the bath by herself I was in the room too. I think I was in the bathtub with them until they could easily stand up on their own. Now at 3 and 6 I remain within easy earshot at all times or tell DH to keep an ear on them if I have to go upstairs for a moment.
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#84 of 115 Old 02-01-2010, 09:36 AM
 
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I've told this story before, but when I left my 6 year old alone in the bathroom for the first time, my well behaved, cautious, super coordinated, had been swimming since 2 child, he got up on his knees (he wanted to rinse his bottom), slipped and broke his front tooth off.

I was in the next room, with the door open, and no other noise (he's an only child) and the only thing I heard was crying. If he'd been knocked out, I wouldn't have heard anything.
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#85 of 115 Old 02-01-2010, 11:10 AM
 
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I've told this story before, but when I left my 6 year old alone in the bathroom for the first time, my well behaved, cautious, super coordinated, had been swimming since 2 child, he got up on his knees (he wanted to rinse his bottom), slipped and broke his front tooth off.

I was in the next room, with the door open, and no other noise (he's an only child) and the only thing I heard was crying. If he'd been knocked out, I wouldn't have heard anything.
So is your 6-year-old no longer allowed to bathe alone? That could happen to you, too. Do you ever bathe alone?
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#86 of 115 Old 02-01-2010, 03:32 PM
 
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he suddenly slipped backward and would have gone under the water if I hadn't been RIGHT THERE. He was sitting, not standing, not about to stand, just sitting and shifted his weight a little on an apparently slippery spot. He was so scared, and I caught him just before his whole head went under
This exact thing has happened to DD twice. I was watching both times and caught the back of her head in time, before it smacked against the back of the tub and before her face went under all of the way.

I have wondered when she will be ready, but for now I stay right there... cleaning the bathroom and talking about dinosaurs.

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#87 of 115 Old 02-01-2010, 05:57 PM
 
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3 1/2 y/o. And I leave the door open, and stay not far away so I can hear him. Unless of course his 13 m brother is taking a bath with him...then I sit with them. They also sit on the bath mat, less slipping that way! We don't actually have running water, so I'm just talking about when visiting relatives for the holidays--at home they bathe in a rubbermaid tote.

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#88 of 115 Old 02-04-2010, 11:26 PM
 
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Just saw something relevant to this discussion. ER visits related to bathtubs peak around 2 years old--for head injuries from falling in the tub.
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#89 of 115 Old 02-05-2010, 01:31 AM
 
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Wow, makes me think I should be more cautious of my 13 month old! I run into the kitchen to grab a drink, or grab a diaper. I'm never more than 10 seconds away though.

DH(9/04) DS(12/08) and DD(5/11)

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#90 of 115 Old 02-05-2010, 09:53 AM
 
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Oy. I've been doing this a while now and my son's only 17 months. He does very well in water and has excellent balance. The only time he slips and falls is when he gets in and out of the bathtub (he throws all his toys out of the bathtub and then climbs out, throws them back in, then climbs back in and repeats). I'm not away the whole time, but I do leave while he plays, wandering back and forth and DH always has him in line of sight from his office while he bathes. Plus, we never fill the bathtub so full his whole head could fit under the water anyway. Everyone has their own comfort levels, I guess

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