When Did You Start Potty Training - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 57 Old 01-29-2010, 12:32 AM - Thread Starter
 
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so im confused about when to start potty training my son. i really really dont want to have a 3 yo in diapers (like some people i know do). My son is turning 1 next week and ive been wondering if it's too early to start potty training him.
i was thinking of maybe at least having him sit on the potty around the times when he is more likely to pee (like after nap), but at the same time i dont want to waste my time and test his patience if he is not ready.
if you have potty trained kids, when did you start potty training them?
how?
any useful books or articles?
i while back i read an article where this one doc was saying kids have to have enough brain development to start effective potty training which according to him doesnt happen before the age of 2. is that really so?
thanks
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#2 of 57 Old 01-29-2010, 12:39 AM
 
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I did EC (Elimination Communication) with Tyr starting at 8m (I have a pic of him and his first pee in a potty ) Unfortunately starting at about 13months he had the occasional rectal prolapse (we went to specialist to find help)....He is 3 now and some days wears a pullup and others big boy underwear. Due to the prolapses he only wants to use his pullup for BMs....this is something we are working on because he doesn't prolapse while standing/squatting....but the incidents have happened while on the toilet/potty (last incident in Oct). That being said he has been dry through the night since he was a year and He regularly uses the toilet to pee (and only occassionaly has an accident-maybe once every few weeks)....he just prefers pullups and it is no big deal to us...I always ask if he would like big boy underwear. Oh yeah he started wearing pullups around 16m as it was much easier than diapers.

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#3 of 57 Old 01-29-2010, 06:10 AM
 
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We never did potty training either - We did EC.
We started part time (not knowing that was what we were doing though! hehe) - when he was a week old. It was pretty obvious when he was going to do a poo and I figured there was no pointing in having to wash another cloth nappy so I would let him do a poo on a piece of toilet paper, wipe and then flush it! Made sense to me. After a few weeks his pees became pretty consistant to and I was able to 'catch' a few of them come evening time.
Once he was 11 months old, I thought why not! - and gave it my all and we started EC full time. By then I had read much more about it and knew what I was doing! I joined some pretty great yahoo groups as well for tips/advice/support. I highly suggest IPTLateSTarters yahoo group!
By the time he was 17 months old - after a huge pause when he took up walking - he came back in full force and was no longer in nappies during the day - shortly after graduating! A few months after he turned 2, he was dry through the night as well and we have never looked back!
Can't wait to start EC from birth with this little one due soon!

EC is an approach. It is not potty training/learning. It can be started at any age as it is an approach. But of course, there are more 'ideal' windows of opportunity - such as starting from birth. It is a great attachment parenting tool and a great way to connect with your child. And those that have actually done EC, do find that it is not as time consuming as they though it might be. You are not stat here all day holding your baby on a potty! I even found it was much quicker to offer my son the toilet than to change his nappy! You just know when your child needs to go - just as much as you know when they are hungry. It could be a shuffle or a snuffle or some other cue. I have had pee on my carpet a few times, but only poo once and that was when he was ill and has a super runny bottom - so EC or not, it would have been messy! lol For me, and many who do EC - it is more about honouring our childs needs just like we honour all the rest of their needs. The need to eliminate and not on ourselves I think is a real need. It is fabby - worth a try!...everyone should do it! hehe

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#4 of 57 Old 01-29-2010, 09:33 AM
 
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I never really officially "potty trained" either. I had a hand me down kiddy potty in our bathroom that I used as a stepstool for handwashing. At 19 months my son was naked from the bath, sat down on it, and peed. He continued to use the potty whenever he was naked and around it (so morning and night clothes changing time) until about 24 months, I praised him when he used it but never asked him to use it or encouraged him to use it. By 24 months he could go without a diaper all day (excluding naps or bedtime) if he was naked, but if I put him in clothes with no diaper he would pee. I would just change him into a diaper and not make any sort of fuss over it. Honestly, I was not ready to have a totally diaper free kid at that point as I have another child just a year younger than him and I was terrified of the inconvenience of having the two of them out and about and rushing around to public potties

At 29 or 30 months I asked him if he wanted to start wearing underwear, he said yes, had two pee accidents that morning, and didn't have any after that. That was it! It was the easiest transition I could imagine, totally free of any pressure or stress. I really feel like letting him just do his own thing made it so easy on both of us.

My DD, now 22 months is using the potty several times a day and as soon as the weather warms up some I will probably transition her into underwear if she wants to.

We use cloth diapers. I never used pull ups, they seemed confusing and expensive to me.

Good luck, Mama!
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#5 of 57 Old 01-29-2010, 09:42 AM
 
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We're on the slow side.

For background, my first son NEVER asked for a clean diaper, never mentioned a wet/dirty diaper, never seemed to really care (still doesn't). He was also a bit slow verbally. He didn't really talk until 2.5 or 3, and he didn't talk a lot until after 3 (but, boy, when it started! )

Around 2.5, it was summer time, and I'd let him go naked sometimes outside. During those times, or in the tub, I'd point out to him when he was peeing (cause he was CLUELESS....he'd look down like "where did this come from??"). He started getting the idea.

Around 3, I started letting him go pant-less in the house, and I'd just remind him to try every 30 minutes or so. We rewarded pee with a single marshmallow, and poop in the potty got fruit treats. He loves candy, so this was high reward! He got poop very quickly. He would also pee when I asked, but he never really requested to go (he would request to go for #2). We went on like this for a while, wearing diapers out of the house, naked at home. Surprisingly, we had a few accidents, but not many.

Around 3 years and 3 months, I told him that we were going to put the diapers away during the day and just wear them at night/nap. He was fine with that (by this time, he was more verbal). He started wearing clothes at home at this point, too. The first week, we had some accidents, but after that, it all clicked, and it seemed to work for him. It's been 2 months since then, and he still is wearing diapers at night, but only then. We haven't had an accident in probably 4-6 weeks.

Oh, we cloth diaper, but like I said, this kid just doesn't mind wet/dirty, so that didn't seem to make a difference.
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#6 of 57 Old 01-29-2010, 10:01 AM
 
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My son is 22 months old and I am starting next week. I think he is ready and will be trained by the time his birthday comes or shortly after.
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#7 of 57 Old 01-29-2010, 10:04 AM
 
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i did EC starting at 3 months part time. she got the hang of it within a few days! she even tells me when she has to do #2lol she will grunt and if i miss it she lets out a warning poo...just a little skid mark its hilarious. i think by 6 months she will start telling me when she needs to pee. right now i just take her every half our or so idk you kind of just know when she needs to go. at night i dont do it but during nap time she always wakes up dry!

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#8 of 57 Old 01-29-2010, 10:47 AM
 
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DS was EC'd up until 1, then we moved several times and he completely lost interest. I didn't push the issue and just assumed he would gravitate to it when he was ready. He has now become the kid who could care less if he's sitting in a wet or dirty diaper, he wants nothing to do with the potty and has no interest in using it or being encouraged to use it. In general, he is very resistant to any kind of encouragement to do anything that isn't his own idea. I think once his dad is home and he sees how it all works he'll be more interested in it, but I don't see him potty learning until closer to his third birthday.

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#9 of 57 Old 01-29-2010, 11:20 AM
 
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We did actual potty training right after my boys turned 2. It took them a day each to get it down pat and that was it.

We did break out the potty and start talking about it around 1 though.
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#10 of 57 Old 01-29-2010, 11:22 AM
 
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Its less about when I started and when I will be finished for me. Perhaps never. LOL.

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#11 of 57 Old 01-29-2010, 01:43 PM
 
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I did potty train...

15-18 months we did potty orientation meaning sitting on potty when the diaper is off / bath time etc. Around 2 ( or when they realized when they were peeing/pooping) we did a week naked of potty boot camp. All mine were out of day time diapers between 25 & 30 months depending on the child.

Night took a little longer.

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#12 of 57 Old 01-29-2010, 01:50 PM
 
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Well, I have a three-year-old in diapers. : I certainly didn't "want" or expect to, but she has only recently started showing interest, despite being in school since age 2 and seeing other kids use the potty. I guess I saw no reason to force the issue (probably colored by the fact that I am friends with some parents who did try to push potty training on a child who clearly wasn't ready, with pretty unpleasant results for all).

Kids develop differently. Dd is extremely advanced in some ways, but this is one of the ways that she is not. I'm happy to let her go at her own pace. I feel confident that she won't go to college in diapers.
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#13 of 57 Old 01-29-2010, 01:51 PM
 
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I started introducing the potty around 18 months, but didn't push it. We did sticker charts around 2 1/2 and that always worked well. I tried not to put a lot of pressure on them, never really pushed the potty issue, and both of my girls were going fully on the potty just before 3 years.

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#14 of 57 Old 01-29-2010, 01:59 PM
 
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My son just turned 3 a couple of weeks ago.

Over the summer (when he was about 2.5), we tried potty training for a few days, and it just got him really upset. So we stopped. A few months later, I started having him go sometimes in the morning, before naps, and at bedtime. He did great with that.

This past weekend, we went totally diaper free and he did great. We're still working on pooping on the potty, but for the most part I would call him potty trained during the day. We go out and about with underwear on, and he wears Pull ups only at night or naptime.

I know some people are really all about being potty trained by a certain age, but I saw no point in rushing it. It's actually probably more work now because I need to be carrying around an extra change of clothes and be more aware of where public restrooms are just in case.

My son was another one though who just didn't care about being in a poopy/wet diaper, from the time he was born until now. I'd usually have to chase him around for a diaper change even after he pooped. Honestly I'm not sure he would have ever decided it was bothering him!

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#15 of 57 Old 01-29-2010, 02:10 PM
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We put a potty out around 12-18 mos. Both of my boys figured it out around 20 mos. My oldest wore training pants for about 6 mos. (but only had 1 poop accident after 21 mos.) then went to undies at 26 mos. and my youngest was in undies full-time at 21 mos.
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#16 of 57 Old 01-29-2010, 02:22 PM
 
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Well, I 'introduced' the potty about 12 months. As in it was sitting around the flat and I showed her that she could sit on it. I used to give her an hour or so of naked time in the evenings to air her bum out, so if she started to pee during that time I would pick her up and pop her on the potty and encourage her to finish it there, saying "Pee goes in the potty."

I was expecting it to take ages, but she caught on really quickly and by about 14 months she would wander over to the potty and sit on it herself to pee, at least half the time. After another month or two she had gotten comfortable with pooping on the potty too. She needed to be naked though or she just didn't seem to notice the signals. We were making a fair bit of progress, but then we went through an international move and it all fell by the wayside for a few months.

But then once we got settled into our new house we re-started in earnest; it was summer and so I just let her run around naked all day at home. Slight pain as we were in a rented house with carpets everywhere, but she actually had quite few accidents and within a couple of weeks was effectively potty trained during the day. She was just about 18 months at that stage.

It took another little while for her to get used to wearing underwear and clothes and still letting me know in time, but she's very good about that now. She will occasionally still have an accident, but usually only if she's engrossed in something and too busy to stop, so I just make it my business to gently remind her if I think she might need to go.

She's still not dry all night (never has been) so I'm not going to push that - it's a physical readiness thing. She was physically, mentally and emotionally ready to be day-time PLed, but isn't ready for night-time yet, and that's fine by me. (She's just 2 now.)

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#17 of 57 Old 01-29-2010, 02:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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thanks for all the replies it is good to know that ec can be successful at a later age, i read some about it before he was born, but for various reasons (and laziness is probably a part of the lit of those reasons), we never really tried it when he was born.
it is also good to know that some kids ARE ready to "cooperate" at an earlier age. i just didnt want to push something on him if there is no way he could get it.
i think we will give it a try and see if he "gets" any of it and if he'll cooperate at all.
around the time when he was 6 mo my mom stayed with us for a while and she tried something kinda like ec, and she would hold he over the sink every so often and try make him go, and he would just laugh at the sounds she made and at the sigh of himself in the mirror. it was actually quite entertaining... so needless to say that didnt really work, but i think we should try again
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#18 of 57 Old 01-29-2010, 02:30 PM
 
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I never, ever thought I would have a 3 year old in diapers, especially after my first two were out of diapers full time at 22 and 17 months. But now I have a 3 year old in diapers and a 15 month old in diapers part time. I'm fairly sure the baby will be out of diapers before my 3yo. : Sometimes it is very frustrating to me to have a 3yo in diapers, and for a while I actually felt angry about it because I know he knows he has to go and whatever. So I stopped trying, and our relationship has improved greatly. This is just to say, please don't put arbitrary time limits on anything, it will only lead to frustration. That said..

With my other kids, I noticed at some point (around the 1 year mark) that they were dry at night, and only peed upon waking in the morning. I took this as my cue to introduce the potty. Whenever a diaper was peed in, it promptly went into the little potty. Before long, they started just going over to the potty right after they peed and would try to remove their own diaper. Then they would go before they went, and eventually I just put them in undies. It was a long process, but very easy for both me and them. My 15 month old is currently telling me when she has gone pee and taking herself to the potty to sit on it. Before long I am sure she will be going independently. Now, my 3yo still pees in the middle of the night, so this may be the issue with him. I have no idea, but I'm not pushing it (anymore).
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#19 of 57 Old 01-29-2010, 02:34 PM
 
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I start potty training at 3, if the child doesn't seem really interested beforehand, which neither of mine were. I put them on the potty several times a day, let them run around without any pants on, let them watch a favorite potty video may'be once a day, lots of potty books, and 1 m&m for pee, 2 for poop. Catharina was pretty stubborn about the whole process, so she didn't get fully trained til just after her 4th birthday. Still working on Pete.

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#20 of 57 Old 01-29-2010, 03:53 PM
 
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There is the EC forum on here, and a local diaper free baby yahoo group could be helpful as well.

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#21 of 57 Old 01-29-2010, 04:28 PM
 
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We EC'd at least part time, starting at 4.5 months. She was pretty reliably signallng/pottying by a year, and completely in underwear by 18 months. You can definitely have success at EC, even as a "late starter." I'm a huge advocate of the philosophy, and if you're at all interested, you should give in a try. It's logical, compassionate, and ultimately, easier. Sure, I had to pay a little more attention early on, but I'd say having only the very rare poopy diaper after 8 months was a HUGE win on the "easy" scale.

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#22 of 57 Old 01-30-2010, 12:23 AM
 
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Started ECing at 4 months! No age is too early!
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#23 of 57 Old 01-30-2010, 12:39 AM
 
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Both my boys decided to potty train about 2 weeks after their 3 birthday. With the older i tried to encourage, bribe, reward, etc. potty useage with no benefit. Once he deiced that he was ready it took less than a week. My younger decided Monday to start using the potty and so far he is sstraying dry all day (no accidents). If you asked me a month ago if he'd ever potty I'd say no for a long time.

It all depends on the kid and thier readiness.
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#24 of 57 Old 01-30-2010, 12:41 AM
 
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we introduced the potty at around 18 months in response to DD pooping in the bath several times. We started the routine of her using the potty before bath at this time. We started potty training around 22 months and she was trained by 25 months.

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#25 of 57 Old 01-30-2010, 12:57 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnaNova View Post
so im confused about when to start potty training my son. i really really dont want to have a 3 yo in diapers (like some people i know do). My son is turning 1 next week and ive been wondering if it's too early to start potty training him.
i was thinking of maybe at least having him sit on the potty around the times when he is more likely to pee (like after nap), but at the same time i dont want to waste my time and test his patience if he is not ready.
if you have potty trained kids, when did you start potty training them?
how?
any useful books or articles?
i while back i read an article where this one doc was saying kids have to have enough brain development to start effective potty training which according to him doesnt happen before the age of 2. is that really so?
thanks
Do you really think that anyone WANTS to have a 3yo in diapers?

My son wasn't potty trained until he was 4. We got him a potty at 2. He refused to sit on it without a diaper. He didn't want anything to do with it. His personality is such that he won't do anything until he can do it nearly perfectly. He didn't walk until he was 2 (despite being in physical therapy from 11 months). It was as if he waited until he could stand up from the floor and walk across the room before he would take his first unassisted steps.

Some kids are ready to potty train before others. Try not to judge.

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#26 of 57 Old 01-30-2010, 02:00 AM
 
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My sweet little baby (4th child) was born August 2007, so he is almost 2.5 now. (wow...)

When he was about 18 months old, we put out the potty. we weren't really hardcore about it at first.

After a while, when the very casual wasn't working, we offered a m&m for pee on the potty. He'd sit on teh potty, stand up 2 seconds later and say "i want candy!" soo didnt get it.
let him run around naked and when he started to pee on teh floor, grab him, run him to the potty and praise him and given one m&m.
he got to the point where i thought he was enjoying not being potty trained. He would pee on teh floor and laugh. He peed on teh edge of the couch and said, very happily, "I pee on teh couch! hahaha!". arrgh!

also, my best friend has a daughter who is 4 weeks older than my son. she only started to potty train her at her 2nd birthday. she was trained in a week, and i've been trying for months and nothing!

then, one day, at 24.5 months old, he just started peeing in teh potty. and pooping, with occasional accidents. started wearing underwear all the time at 25 months, and now he's completely trained during the day. stays dry during nap most of the time, but still wears pull ups at night.

my other three, i believed that you didnt try til they were two. so i waited, it still took months. My first son (now 9) wasn't trained til shortly before age 3.

i am SO GLAD that I started early, went thru the frustration and now, he's doing so great.

all babies are different, though. good luck!

Student Nurse Midwife and semi crunchy mom to 4 "C" named kids! 10yr old DS, 8 yr old DD, 6yr old DD, and 3 yr old DS. Praying that C #5 is in the future for me!
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#27 of 57 Old 01-30-2010, 02:38 AM
 
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A book that really helped me was "Diaper Free Before Three".

My son was out of diapers (in the daytime) around 20 months with very rare accidents. Then he broke his leg shortly after his second birthday, and had to go back in diapers because of his cast. Getting him out of diapers the second time (we started working on it again around 26 months) was SO much harder. After going through this with him, and watching a bunch of friend's kids go through this process, I really believe there is a window of opportunity when it is a lot easier - and it is around 18 months.

So, our approach was pretty simple, really. I had started putting him on the potty to poop around 1 year - he pooped at the same time each day, and it just made sense to me that if I knew he was going to poop, it should go in the toilet. We also put a couple of potties around the house so they were always easily accessible. DS was naked on the bottom almost all the time when we were home (we had hardwood floors at the time - so easy clean up). At first, he peed on the floor a lot, and we would talk about it - "Pee-pee....peepee goes in the potty" and then walk over to the potty. We talked about pee and poop, had books about going potty in the potty, etc. DS picked out some underwear he loved, and really wanted to wear. We kept it really light, and fun, but it was a big focus. And, once I decided to not do diapers during the day, we completely stopped using them. It seemed to confusing for him to go back and forth.
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#28 of 57 Old 01-30-2010, 03:59 AM
 
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I'm on child #3 and there is a potty in the bathroom. DS1 I bought his potty at around 15 months, started having him try sitting on it before baths and stuff. We kept it pretty casual, he'd go sometimes...we didn't really start working on it till shortly after his sister was born. He was 2 and 3 months when she was born. I kept his little potty next to our nursing chair and he would sit on it, sometimes move it closer to the TV and watch Sesame Street, lol. I bought a 3 pack of underwear and washed them out in the sink, when they were done for the day, he went back in diapers. I didn't take him in public in undies till he was fully day trained for a couple weeks. I took the night diapers away when I realized he *was* staying dry at night and peeing in the AM. He is now 5 and has been fully trained since about 2 and a half, night-dry shortly after that, has had accidents including bed-wetting probably 5 times since and two were long car trips.

DD, different personality (plus I had DS2) I started the same way I did with DS but when she parked herself on the toilet and announced she was peeing on her 2nd birthday, I put her in underwear full time and only used diapers when going out and at night. I washed her underwear with the baby's cloth diapers. She has been using the potty consistently for poop pretty much since the beginning, has the rare pee accident, still pees her bed about once a week, but I put something on the bed not her.
It seems like she has taken longer than DS1, but I started younger and i did not do back and forth with the diapers like I did with him because I know her and I know she would have wanted to go back and just be in diapers. I also KNEW she was ready to work on using the potty and I just had to be consistent with the use of undies and patient with the accidents. It worked. (I had also just read "diaper free before 3" and the author of that book advocates NO disposable diapers after a year old.)

DS2 is 14 months and i have tried to have him sit on the potty a couple times. He's totally not into it. I am considering trying a little more often and with DD there to see if that helps. (I tried at bathtime but he is too excited about getting in the tub) I may also move the potty and try it when he's not looking at the bathtub.

I want to try what a friend did with her now 2.5 year old, her little girl I know she said clear back at 18 months she was rarely having accidents. She did a lot of nakey butt time (which would freak out dh so we probably will not do that part--pee in the carpet) and cloth training undies or a CD under wool pants--super cute ones she makes out of recycled sweaters! the wool doesn't leak if they have an accident, the undies go up and down easy. She also had her two older girls plus a relative's kids at her house for several weeks when this one was around a year and a half--and one of the other girls was like 2 and potty-training as well, so she started having all the other little girls ask the baby if she wanted to go too when they went potty....lol LOTS of opportunities and TONS of role-models

anyway the point is this child has been using the potty pretty consistently way before 2. So NO I don't believe it takes till 2 years old to develop the necessary muscles, connections, whatever. And it wasn't the mom and the other kids who were trained, I would hear *her* tell her mom she needed to go.
she's not the only one, I had another friend whose older 2 kids were fully trained by age 2, they also did a ton of naked time.

lovin DH since 1/04, best mom for my 3 boys 10/04, 11/08, 11/10 one girlie (1/07), and one 13 wk (10/13) just your average :ha ng multigenerational living family!!
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#29 of 57 Old 01-30-2010, 04:50 AM
 
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My son will be 3 next month and is absolutely in no way ready to begin potty training. I've been trying for about 6 months to get him to use it and I've tried everything, candy, chocolate, stickers, letting him pick out underwear, pull-ups, having a 'potty party', a million hugs and positive reinforcement, even the 'Potty Scotty' program, and nothing works. Nothing. He cries when I even show him real underwear, and not just whining about not wanting to wear them, but full on tears, hysterics and pleading, desperately trying to pull off his underwear whilst begging for a diaper. I decided to heck with it, I'm not going to try and make him do something he's clearly not ready for.

Someone even had the audacity to tell me that having a child in diapers after age two was the result of lazy parenting or succumbing to the trickery of diaper companies who encourage that "every child is different"

My doctor had the absolute best advice. "When he's ready, he'll do it, and there's no sense in making both your lives miserable over something he's going to do eventually anyway."

So bring on 3, diapers and all.
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#30 of 57 Old 01-30-2010, 02:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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didnt mean to sound judgemental in op, and if i did, for that i apologize.
ive just been trying to get some useful info on the topic and some ideas too.
good luck to everyone who's embarking on this journey!
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