Planning for baby's arrival - 2 kids one room? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 23 Old 02-04-2010, 01:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We are thinking that instead of setting up a separate nursery for baby that we might put baby in the same room with DD, who will be nearly 3 when baby arrives.

With DD, she slept with us until she was about 5 months. Then she started waking up and playing at about 5am every morning, so we started putting her in her crib to play in her room when she woke up... and she started sleeping until 8am! It was a pretty quick transition to her sleeping through the night in her own room.

I'm kind of hoping for a simliar transition for #2, though I am open to baby staying in our room for as long as baby wants. We wouldn't transition baby into the "kids room" until he/she was consistently sleeping through the night (or maybe only waking once)

Have others done this, and how does it work with having 2 little ones in one room? Does it tend to disturb the older one a lot? We'd like to get a "big kids bed" and start setting things up to allow our DD to (hopefully) transition to a bed on her own.

Thoughts?

Loving being a stay at home mamma to DD 10/07, and newly arrived DS 7/26/10
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#2 of 23 Old 02-04-2010, 05:35 PM
 
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My 2 DDs share a room. They are 18mos and 3.5yrs--they've only been sharing about 2 months (we moved to a smaller house) but it's working out really well. They are both pretty good sleepers and don't wake each other up--the other night DD2 had a cough, woke up, made a ton of noise, we got her up and sat in the bathroom with the shower on and put her back to bed when she felt better. DD1 slept through the whole thing.

DD1 sleeps in a bed and DD2 in a crib.
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#3 of 23 Old 02-04-2010, 05:40 PM
 
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I wouldn't even consider it until the baby wasn't waking at all during the middle of the night. A 3 year old needs uninterupted sleep. If the baby is still waking at night then it belongs in the room with you not with another child. That said, our girls ages 7 and 3 share a room and we have no problems with them. Our 5 yo ds sleeps in his room by himself and the 18 mo ds is still in our room because he still wakes up at night.

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#4 of 23 Old 02-04-2010, 06:23 PM
 
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It's doable. I grew up in a large family and no one had their own room.

Our kids shared a room from the time dd was 2 1/2 until she was 5. Until dd was 2, she nominally had her own room but was really co-sleeping with us. I found that my kids were remarkably able to sleep through each other's noises when they were young. Our bedrooms are all really close together, so even if they'd been in separate rooms, they would have heard each other. (In fact, just the other day, dd woke me up because ds had had a bad dream and was calling for me, and she woke up and added her voice from her room.)

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#5 of 23 Old 02-04-2010, 06:45 PM
 
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Our first two shared a room starting when the second one was about 8-9 months. He still woke every night, but his older brother slept through it. His older brother even slept through the year of night-terrors when the second child was about 2.5 yo and woke up screaming *every* night. If he hadn't been such a sound sleeper, he would have been disturbed even if they didn't share a room because my child with night terrors probably also woke the neighbors on both sides with his screams.

The third one stayed in our room until he was 2, due to space constraints. He moved in with his brothers. He doesn't always sleep through the night but they've never once woken due to him. He either hollers for me, and they don't hear it, or he gets up and quietly comes to find me in my room.
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#6 of 23 Old 02-05-2010, 12:28 AM
 
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Our 2 share a room and have since birth. They're 3 and 5 now. Both are free to come and go from their room to our room as they want, which they do. We've rarely had a problem with one waking the other up.

The biggest issue we've had is that at one point, I realized that the room looked like DD had a bed in DS's room, and I had to remake it to incorporate both of them.

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#7 of 23 Old 02-05-2010, 12:44 AM
 
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I'm slightly in awe that your 3yo sleeps through the night.
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#8 of 23 Old 02-05-2010, 01:13 AM
 
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My kids have almost always been in the same room one way or the other and they have never been disrupted. I have a 4 year old, a 2 year old, and a newborn.

When the 2 year old was born the whole family was sleeping in the master bedroom in our king sized bed. Around 18 months dd (now 2) started sleeping through the night in her own crib/bedroom. Ds(4) recently moved out of our room and into a bed next to dd's crib.

If someone wakes during the night (not usual), the other child generally sleeps through it. If there is a ton of commotion (like when ds wet the bed a few days ago) the other might stir but goes right back to sleep. If it is something really crazy like a screaming nightmare we snatch up the loud one and go into the living room until they have calmed down. This is super, super rare.

During dd1's newborn period, when we were in a family bed, her frequent nightwakings never bothered ds. When ds was co-sleeping and we brought our newborn dd2 home a few weeks ago, she woke him on the first night. He sleepily asked for his water and went right back to sleep. It hasn't been a big deal.

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#9 of 23 Old 02-05-2010, 02:44 AM
 
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My three DSs all share a room. Overall they love it. My DD will often join them on the weekends for a sleepover. The boys sleep though each other noises. I actually to wake my DS1 one night when his sister was sleeping over and she had thrown up all over him (she had climbed into bed with him.). He had sleep though all his sister's yelling as well as getting really yucky!
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#10 of 23 Old 02-05-2010, 02:59 AM
 
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Originally Posted by pauletoy View Post
I wouldn't even consider it until the baby wasn't waking at all during the middle of the night. A 3 year old needs uninterupted sleep. If the baby is still waking at night then it belongs in the room with you not with another child.
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I'm slightly in awe that your 3yo sleeps through the night.
Pauletoy's comment had me just about LOL. My 2 1/2 year doesn't sleep through the night. Crazy freakin' kid hasn't gone a night without waking at least once in who knows how long. She's taken to loudly sleep talking at least a couple of times a night now. Oy. But I think that's a whole other thread!

My plan is to set up "nursery" in my bedroom, meaning changing area and the crib for holding discarded clothing (hahaha), as we'll be cosleeping until our #2 proves otherwise. If the crib comes into use, we'll use it in our room, and I'm sincerely hoping that once the kids get to a safe age, they'll just sleep TOGETHER in DD's full size bed.

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#11 of 23 Old 02-05-2010, 06:34 AM
 
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This is also our plan. Dd1 id almost 3 and dd2 is 5 months. This week I started slowly using the crib in the other room for dd2. Dd1 has been ina bed since 15 months. Right now I nurse dd2 to sleep in our room then we put dd1 to bed. Once she has fallen asleep I move dd2 to her crib in their room. SO far she wakes up about half an hour or so after I go to bed so its not really adding anything to my night. BUt its all part of a slow transistion. We decided to do this now because it seemed like she was waking up everytime we moved in bed. And I was turning into a zombie.

dd2 crying does not wake up dd1. I don't know about the other way around because it hasn't happened yet. But I think in general its nice for them to share a room at this age.

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#12 of 23 Old 02-05-2010, 06:53 AM
 
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Our plan is to have bubs in our room for 7-12 months (until we're down to one or less night feed) and then set up the bunks and put him or her in with DD. I shared a room my entire childhood with either my brother or my sister, i slept through my sister's sleep apnoea snoring (!) and my brother's croup attacks. And they mostly slept through my sleep talking/laughing/singing/walking/terrors too.

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I wouldn't even consider it until the baby wasn't waking at all during the middle of the night. A 3 year old needs uninterupted sleep.
Really about 80% of the 3 year olds in the world are room and/or bed sharing with parents, siblings, extended family or even whole lodges of other local families! Humanity would never have made it if uninterrupted sleep was such a critical thing for our littlies! Obviously it depends on other factors, but when i talk to older people, many of whom believe children should nap at least once a day until they are 4, it's generally because it's acknowledged that nighttime sleep (which unquestionably to their minds is done in the company of at least SOME of their family) might not be enough. Clearly if a 3 year old is getting up to go to a daycare where a child of 3 isn't having access to naps (which are usually in a big room with every other child) from 8am to 6pm then the sleep of the night time means more, but for most of the kids i know sharing seems to cause zero issues.

As ever though, ymmv.
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#13 of 23 Old 02-05-2010, 11:47 AM
 
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Thanks so much OP for this thread. I know this room sharing can work, but I have had some people act like it is stupid. This is so encouraging.

We have a 3rd bedroom, but itis the office/sewing room/guest room. I really didnt want to get dismantle the room, leaving my parents to have to stay at a hotel, because they live 800 miles away and when they come here, they want to be with their grandkids from sun up to sun down.

I figure the kids adjust to each other's noises just like I have adjusted to my dh's noises. And I think sharing a room will be a good experience.
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#14 of 23 Old 02-05-2010, 01:21 PM
 
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My dd (will be 4 March 17th) and ds (20 months) share a room. They will be together until we complete our third floor renovation for the master bedroom.

Ds moved into her room, from the co-sleeper and our bed, when he started sleeping through the night at about 9 months old. He started out in the pack-and-play until dd grew out of her crib. A few months later he got the crib and she got her big girl bed.

One problem we have is we cannot put them to bed at the same time because ds gets so excited that his big sister is in the room and he just wants to play. When he is sleeping hard (about a half hour after he falls asleep) then we have dd go to bed.

The only other problem we have is it is a small room and the closet and dresser are packed to capacity with clothes and there is not much room for dd's "special toys" that she doesn't want ds to play with or can't because of small pieces.

Hopefully she will have her own room by 4 1/2 years old. It will be good for her, but ds will miss having his big sister with him. He loves her so much!

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#15 of 23 Old 02-05-2010, 02:31 PM
 
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Another room sharing success story here. DS is 7 and DD 4.5, and they have been in the room together since she was about 7ish months old (still waking once or twice a night for BF). He was 3 at the time. He has always slept right through her night wakings (still occasionally getting those if she wets the bed or is sick), and vice versa. He is in a twin bed and she in the crib converted to a toddler bed (side off). Now that we have #3, we will probably end up rearranging things again once the baby is a bit older so that we have a boy room and a girls room. I think it would be too tight to try and fit all 3 in there, or I would seriously consider doing that as they seem to enjoy each other's company. It was easier on ME too moving the baby out of our room knowing that at least she was not alone!

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#16 of 23 Old 02-05-2010, 03:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for all the awesome feedback, everyone

I started measuring DD's room to figure out how/where we are going to put her new bed, and arrange things. Fortunately, it will be a long, slow transition, because when I put the measuring tape near DD's crib she screamed - "MY crib! MY crib" She just LOVES her crib Hopefully when we get her a new bed, she will like that even more!

We decided what would make the most sense is to move the lazy boy rocker out of her room, and into the guest room so that we can rock and soothe baby in a room where no one is usually sleeping, and the new bed can go where the lazy boy used to be. Then we can start reading stories to DD in the new bed, and hopefully as time goes on, she will get interested in sleeping in it, too!

Loving being a stay at home mamma to DD 10/07, and newly arrived DS 7/26/10
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#17 of 23 Old 02-05-2010, 03:40 PM
 
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Thanks so much OP for this thread. I know this room sharing can work, but I have had some people act like it is stupid. This is so encouraging.
Lmao, we have four bedrooms and our girls are still going to be sharing a room!

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#18 of 23 Old 02-05-2010, 03:41 PM
 
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My three DDs all share a room, 2r, 4yr, and 5yrs old, and we have no issues here. I have good sleepers, though. We have a bunk bed and a toddler sized bed for the little one.
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#19 of 23 Old 02-05-2010, 03:56 PM
 
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Originally Posted by BlackSheepPDX View Post
My plan is to set up "nursery" in my bedroom, meaning changing area and the crib for holding discarded clothing (hahaha), as we'll be cosleeping until our #2 proves otherwise. If the crib comes into use, we'll use it in our room, and I'm sincerely hoping that once the kids get to a safe age, they'll just sleep TOGETHER in DD's full size bed.
This is exactly what we've done, except sans crib/clothes holder.

My younger dd, almost 2, still sleeps with us as she is still nursing in the night. Once she outgrows this, we'll move her to share the full size floor bed with her sister.

We only have two bedrooms. For us, "nursery" means "diaper changing station," and we operate on the assumption that most people -- children included -- would rather sleep with someone than alone.

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#20 of 23 Old 02-05-2010, 06:32 PM
 
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My kids share a room, and have since my DD was 5 months old (DS was almost 4 years old).

It's gone great the whole time -- DD woke to nurse twice a night for the first few months, then once a night for many months after that, and DS never woke up. And the occasional nights when DS wakes up in the middle of the night, DD doesn't wake up. I was a little worried before we did it, but I've been happy to discover that it just isn't an issue at all.

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#21 of 23 Old 02-05-2010, 08:44 PM
 
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I have three kids in one big room. It works okay. I mean, we have unpleasant nights sometimes, where one kids wakes up the others, or all three of them get each other too wound up and they wind up being up too late, and stuff like that. But for the most part, when challenges arise they work themselves out without too much trouble very quickly. I think my kids are closer for being all together. I plan to keep them together until the twins are about 5, and then DS will get his own room and the girls will share. DD1 will be 8 then, and I think that's an age where she might want to stop sharing with her brother. I'm only guessing, though. It might turn out differently in reality.

I have a 5 year old and 3 year old twins. The twins slept with me and DH, or me OR DH , for most of the first year. DD2 moved in with DD1 at about ten months, and we moved DS in there at about 12 months.

I still keep an old crib mattress under my bed, to pull out for the occasional nighttime visitor. Usually this happens in cases of illness, nightmares, and bedwetting.

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#22 of 23 Old 02-05-2010, 09:43 PM
 
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We have all 4 of out LO's in one large room together. They are 5, 4, 4, and 2.

DS#2 wakes up regularly during the night and rocks himself back to sleep but the other 3 sleep right through it.

Our new baby will stay in our room for at least the first year and the we'll have to say goodbye to our guest bedroom and split the kids up.

If our kids are having a hard time settling down at night all we have to do is threaten that the noisy one will be moved into the guest bedroom by themselves and the whole room quiets down! The room sharing is working out really well for our family.

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#23 of 23 Old 02-06-2010, 12:35 AM
 
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When DD #2 was born, DD#1 was 14 months old; she was woken up by the baby a couple of times in the 1st 3 days, but after that, it didn't bother her. I did take the baby out to be changed in a different room, where I could turn on a light. It's pretty rare for 1 of my kids to wake the other - 1 can have a full-out screaming fit, & the other remains oblivious. I do have kids that can generally be picked up & moved when they're asleep, though, so they're pretty sound sleepers. We do like to run a fan in the room, just as a white noise thing, since both girls, DH & I all sleep in the master bedroom (with the bathroom off of it), & I usually take my shower around midnight, & DH often gets up to get ready for work around 4-5 AM. Anyhow, we've all been sleeping in the same room for almost 4 years, & while it bothers DH sometimes, the girls & I are fine.

We do plan to give the girls their own room together, across the hall, in another 6-8 weeks! (Renovation is under way).

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