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#61 of 82 Old 02-16-2010, 01:55 PM
 
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It is her body. She should be the one to determine whether or not her ears get pierced when she is of an age to make that decision.
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#62 of 82 Old 02-16-2010, 02:14 PM
 
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I'm sorry, but I think pierced ears on an infant looks awful. I don't mind jewelry (my DD had a gold bracelet, and later a jade bracelet at a very young age), but there is something about earings that looks wrong, IMO. Now, my DD had her's pierced when she was only 3, and had been begging to get them done for about 6 mos., and I do think they looked okay. But a baby is supposed to be sweet and cute and infant like, and permanent holes in their ears with blingy jewels just doesn't fit. Cultural reasons are not good enough reasons, IMO. There are a lot of bizarre practices that I would/do skip out on b/c they don't fit my own personal beliefs.

oh, and like others, my experience has been that my beautiful, girly looking DD with curls and an all pink DRESS on, was mistaken as a boy by a stranger in public. It might have been a tad annoying at the time, b/c I felt like he didn't even really look at her (I mean, duh!), so how on earth earrings would have not been overlooked, I dunno. Also not good enough reasoning, and heck, many of the males I know have both ears pierced, so they could just as easily assume a baby with pierced ears is in fact a boy. And really, who the heck cares what a stranger thinks about my kid? Anyone close enough to get to know us would surely not mistake my baby's gender.

ETA: I hadn't read through the thread before posting, so I didn't read about not talking bad about one's culture. I really don't mean to offend, I guess I'm just saying for me, that's not a good enough reason. I'll edit if the mods request.

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#63 of 82 Old 02-16-2010, 04:18 PM
 
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Even aside from the body modification question, or the cultural mores question, I know how much of a difficult time I had keeping my own ears clean and uninfected when they were pierced, and I was a teenager. I would NOT want to have to deal with that at the same time as poopy diapers and a baby that tugs on her ears constantly. In fact I had so many infections and my ears refused to heal that eventually I just let all my holes close up. I would not want to risk dealing with the weeping and the pus and all that stuff with an infant - it's painful enough when you're old enough to do it to yourself.

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#64 of 82 Old 02-16-2010, 06:14 PM
 
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Closed again.

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#65 of 82 Old 02-16-2010, 06:19 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife View Post

ETA: I hadn't read through the thread before posting, so I didn't read about not talking bad about one's culture. I really don't mean to offend, I guess I'm just saying for me, that's not a good enough reason. I'll edit if the mods request.
You're fine. Saying that you personally would not follow a cultural tradition on this matter is not against the UA.

I'm going to open this one last time, and would like to remind you all again to please respect the fact that MDC has a diverse membership representing many different cultures. Please do NOT use baiting or loaded language when describing another culture's traditions. This includes words like "barbaric" and "abusive". You can certainly explain what about the practice of infant ear piercing you dislike, but please be civil.

As always, feel free to PM me with any questions or concerns.

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#66 of 82 Old 02-16-2010, 08:27 PM
 
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We're waiting to pierce DD's ears when she asks. I was ready to do it before she turned 1 but I didn't have my ears pierced until I asked. I even remember my mother taking me to pick out earrings at Alexander's.
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#67 of 82 Old 02-16-2010, 09:19 PM
 
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Hmm, I hadn't really thought about piercing DD's ears until I saw this thread today. At 4, she's only a year younger than I was when I had mine pierced at my own request. She hasn't asked yet, but I'll wait until she brings it up. So far, she hasn't. I don't ever wear earrings in my piercings (they always give me problems so I just stopped wearing any 10+ years ago). I guess it hasn't occurred to her as an option. I remember it being a fun becoming-a-big-girl kind of day, since my sister and I went with my mom to get it done and then ate out afterwards.

People ALWAYS called DD a boy, even when she was dressed in ruffles. Drove me crazy, but I doubt that earrings would help the people who overlook the pink ruffles.

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#68 of 82 Old 02-17-2010, 12:30 AM
 
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If you think you'll get upset when people assume your baby is the "wrong" gender, imagine how much MORE upset you'll get if you put your child through the pain of piercing, and yourself through the details of caring for piercings for someone too young to understand why you're hurting them....

and people STILL get the gender wrong.

Because I promise, they will. No matter what you do.

I remember going to the store with DD wearing a bright pink and purple paisley shirt and pink fleece overalls and having THREE people compliment me on my "Big strong boy!!" I don't know where people get this, but it was just funny after awhile. It didn't matter whether I put her in her brother's handmedowns or in flouncy pink outfits from grandma -- people assumed she was a boy simply because she was a big, strong, baby with no hair.

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#69 of 82 Old 02-17-2010, 01:10 AM
 
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Originally Posted by EFmom View Post
It is her body. She should be the one to determine whether or not her ears get pierced when she is of an age to make that decision.
This.

I also think earrings look weird on babies.

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#70 of 82 Old 02-17-2010, 02:44 AM
 
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It is her body. She should be the one to determine whether or not her ears get pierced when she is of an age to make that decision.
Yes to this.
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#71 of 82 Old 02-17-2010, 03:16 AM
 
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I'm one of six girls. We didn't have our ears pierced as babies, and currently range in age from 27 to 11. Thus far, only one of us (who's 14) has chosen to get her ears pierced. She asked when she was 12 or 13, and while Mum wasn't thrilled about it she realised my sister was old enough to know what she was doing, had wanted them for a while and wasn't going to start snorting cocaine upon receipt of said earrings.

The rest of us are happily unpierced. I'm glad Mum left the decision to me... they're MY ears and I like them unpunctured, thank you very much!

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#72 of 82 Old 02-17-2010, 03:38 PM
 
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I'm all for body modifications but only when the person being modified has given consent AND only when it is their choice to do so.

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#73 of 82 Old 02-17-2010, 04:08 PM
 
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We did get DD's ears pierced as a young infant. There were multiple reasons behind my decision, most of them cultural. Some of them purely selfish and vain.

It was done by her pediatrician because the mall scares me. We were going to go with a local piercer but they required her to be vaxed and she's not completely vaccinate.

In the long run, I felt it was safer having her pediatrician doing it anyhow.

She didn't cry and we've never had an ounce of trouble.

If anyone would like to chat about it, or have questions, please feel free to PM me.

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#74 of 82 Old 02-17-2010, 04:31 PM
 
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I waited until my dd was five. She started asking about ear piercing at age four, and we waited a year, discussing it off and on.

Ended up going to a professional piercer, and she had rainbow titanium hoops put in. The experience was awesome, I wouldn't have gone anywhere else.

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#75 of 82 Old 02-17-2010, 04:34 PM
 
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Originally Posted by pixiekisses View Post
No, many of them will not. Actually, none that I know of will do that here. Piercing studioes have age limits, and many have as high as 16 even for ear piercings with parental consent. Some have as low as 12. But none under that here.
I live in Ontario, and a huge, reputable studio pierced my dd's ears when she was five. They just talked to her first to see how much she wanted it, to ensure we were honest with her about what it would feel like, etc.

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#76 of 82 Old 02-17-2010, 06:29 PM
 
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DD's ears were pierced when she was around two years after she'd had a meltdown begging for the "ear pretties". We had them done, but since she fought me so hard taking care of them properly, they became infected. We finally took them out and let the holes close up as much as they could. She's now almost 13 years old and still has almost fully open holes.. so yes, the piercings were a permanent modification. She doesn't want them re-pierced at this point, even though she knows that she has that option and that it would be extremely easy to do. However, she may never want them pierced.. and there's nothing wrong with that.

This may come off as judgemental sounding, but I would never pierce a child's ears unless they specifically asked for them. I fully believe that while our children are a part of us, they are not an extension of us.. and to decorate their body by piercing holes through it and adding ornamentation simply to make our life easier (the whole boy/girl thing) or because the parent think it looks "cute" is selfish.. I mean, the infant couldn't care less if her earrings look great or not. It's also extremely presumptous to think the child won't mind later on and/or actually be thankful you made the decision for them. Perhaps the child would be happier that you allow it to be more of a rite of passage for a child to make their own decision about their body when they can actually remember having it done. I'm 35 years old and I still remember the day that I had my ears pierced. I was around the age of 6 and went with two of my favorite Aunts. They made it a very special day for me!!

With that said, I'm ALL for body modification if that is what the person wants for themselves. Bodily integrity is something that I'm extremely passionate about.

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#77 of 82 Old 02-17-2010, 07:10 PM
 
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Happy to read that you are waiting until she is old enough to decide for herself.

Don't worry about the girl/boy thing, people just don't think about that stuff sometimes and they are caught up in the "CuteBabyCuteBabyCuteBabyCuteBabyCuteBaby" thinking that they don't notice the clothes... just enjoy dressing her up! It is SO much fun to put together outfits.

My current favourite outfit for DD is a tartan coat, coonskin cap (real) and blue boots.... with a snappy black skirt. People have to look twice.

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#78 of 82 Old 02-17-2010, 07:15 PM
 
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Reasons I'm not piercing DD's ears:

Physical

-infection
-misalignment due to growth
-risk of ripping the hole
-allergic reaction

Individual

-dd is non-consenting
-potentially painful
-alters her body
-perpetrates certain concepts about infant rights


DH and I have agreed that we will pierce DD's ears when she asks for it and shows some ability to care for them. I'll be piercing.

I'm not anti-piercings at all BTW. I'm wearing 6 right now.

Mama to expecting Babe 2
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#79 of 82 Old 02-17-2010, 11:40 PM
 
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As somebody who loves body modification(I have 7 piercings and 3 tattoos), I would also wait. The main reason, apart from the issue of bodily integrity, is the issue of the gun. I would not trust a mall worker or a pediatrician to pierce my child's ears. I've had the pleasure of getting pierced by professionals who are dedicated to their craft, and I would never allow my children or myself to be pierced by someone who was not extremely qualified. Every place I've checked will not pierce ears until age 12. So, at least 12 it will be.

My sister was another person who absolutely does not like earrings. She doesn't like the way they look at all. If she'd gotten them pierced as an infant, she'd now be stuck with permanent holes. Thankfully, my mom made us wait, so my sister is happily hole free.

If someone has a strong cultural tradition to pierce ears, I can understand. I don't think ear piercing is the be all end all, 99% of my problem is that these piercings are not being performed by professionals. I would have a lot more respect for someone who gets their 5 month old's ears pierced by a professional piercer than I would for someone who allows their child of any age get pierced by the guns.

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#80 of 82 Old 02-18-2010, 10:39 AM
 
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I had mine pierced as a baby and was so thankful! I'm scared to death of needles, and if they hadn't been done then, I don't think I would have the courage to do ever do it myself. I remember going with my friend and her 7 year old daughter on a special day to finally get hers done, and it was horrible! She wanted them so bad, but she freaked out after the first side was done, and screamed through the second. I chose to have DD's done as a baby because of all that. She nursed right through it, no problem. However, I don't really think I should have bothered now. We had so many problems with them always getting nasty, her pulling at them, the backs falling off, etc. Finally I just took them out at around 2. She's 5 now and they are still open, so I often ask her if she wants them back in. She isn't interested! I wouldn't do it again if I had another daughter.

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#81 of 82 Old 02-18-2010, 02:09 PM
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Originally Posted by jocelyndale View Post
A reputable piercer with clean equipment will not modify the body of an infant.
I have to disagree with that. My niece had her ears pierced as an infant and now she has 2 large lumps of scar tissue!

To the OP, do I think it is cruel to pierce your baby's ears? Yes, selfish also quite frankly. You aren't thinking about your baby at all just your own feelings about her being mistaken for a boy which is definitely not one of the better reasons I have heard for making a baby deal with that. You obviously haven't heard a baby screaming after a vax because to them it is no small prick. I know it is very normal for a lot of parents to pierce their babies ears but I find it disturbing that a parent would cause their tiny baby pain like that out of pure vanity. The kid doesn't even have a say in the matter at that age! I think like other PP have mentioned it is at least nice to let them be old enough to decide...

This is coming from a mama who has had her ears pierced 5 times throughout my life (all just single holes that have closed). My ears the first time when I was 5 were so infected because my mom wasn't completely on top of it that I had to go to the doctor to have them removed (the skin healed around the earring because I didn't turn it)...What if you accidentally let your babies ears get infected. That can become very painful.

Sorry to be so blunt but I just think it is wrong for parents to do this to their baby girls. I am not against ear piercing or any piercing having had a tongue ring for many years just not on a baby! I know this is going to come off horribly but I just can't not pipe up about this.
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#82 of 82 Old 02-18-2010, 02:56 PM
 
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I have to disagree with that. My niece had her ears pierced as an infant and now she has 2 large lumps of scar tissue!
I'm confused as to how this argues against the point the poster you quoted made. The fact that your niece was pierced doesn't say anything about the person who pierced her.

Quote:
My ears the first time when I was 5 were so infected because my mom wasn't completely on top of it that I had to go to the doctor to have them removed (the skin healed around the earring because I didn't turn it)...What if you accidentally let your babies ears get infected.
I wasn't there, so I can't speak for your mom, but the tone of this part kind of bothers me. Infection isn't always something that someone "lets" happen. If we had total control over infection, then nobody would ever get one at all, yk? I had awful problems with one of my ears after I got them pierced (I was 12). It was done with the gun...at that time (1981), I'd never heard of any other way, and that's how everyone I knew got it done. One of my ears puffed up like a balloon and was swollen and red for days after the piercing. We turned it, treated it with the antiseptic stuff, etc. A year or so later, I went without earrings for a week or two, and wasn't able to put an earring in when I wanted to, as the hole had partly closed up. At my request, my mom pushed the piercing stud back through, which hurt like hell.

Through all of that, I was "on top of it" - I regularly turned my earrings and used the antiseptic liquid. Despite that, my ear got infected three separate times...twice during the early months, and again after we "repierced" it. When turning my earrings (multiple times every day), I often felt a tearing sensation in the hole. An infection doesn't mean someone has to be blamed for it. (Of course, imo, that makes it even less desirabel to pierce an infant. An infection could happen to anyone.)

It's strange how differently they heal. There are people who get it done, and the holes stay open beautifully forever (whether this is desirable or not depends on the individual's feelings, of course). Then, there are those like me. I got mine done almost 30 years ago. I still have trouble getting earrings in if I go more than a month or two without wearing them...and I do that quite frequently when I have a small baby!

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