DD doesn't want to ride in friend's messy car - How to handle? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 41 Old 02-19-2010, 07:22 PM
 
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My DS would have a hard time with it as well. He is extremely sensitive to smells and his gag reflex is extremely sensitive. He also is very blunt (Aspergers) and has told a friend her car smelled. (It was/is true.) I would not make him ride in the car because the potential for him to vomit in the car would be HIGH.

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#32 of 41 Old 02-19-2010, 11:33 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Tanibani View Post
Most moms I know have messy mini-vans and she was asking me tonight "OK, I'll ride in everyone else's..." minus this friend. Why? I'm guessing the "puke" seat among other smells (and visible stains).
It's possible there could be some other issue that your dd isn't even aware of. We just got rid of our old minivan and bought a new one a month ago. Our old one was always a mess. It also smelled funny. But, the two weren't related. We had an issue where there was a blockage we couldn't get to, and it caused leaking on the floor, under the glove compartment. Our van had very high internal humidity and it smelled musty and weird. Even I thought it was kind of gross, but I couldn't do anything about it, short of getting a new car.

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#33 of 41 Old 02-20-2010, 01:35 AM
 
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Originally Posted by newbymom05 View Post
If someone told me that my car was so filthy that my child's friend refused to ride in it, I'd be incredibly embarrassed. I'd also clean it. I would hope this mom will? Even if it's the microbe/busy mom theory, if a CHILD complained I would be heading to the car wash center.
yeah, it says something VERY odd about the other mother than she continues to drive around in a biohazard that smells like vomit and grosses out other childen. It would kinda make me wonder about the whole playdate thing.

Yes, all our cars get messy. Yes, they can all get cleaned again.

but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#34 of 41 Old 02-21-2010, 02:32 PM
 
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Pukey smells in a warm car are not easy to get rid of! Last summer I ended up having mine professionally valeted because I couldn't get the smell out, in spite of numerous attempts to do so.

I can understand your friend feeling offended and suggest that you talk to your dd about how her comments are making her friend's mum feel, regardless of how you want to proceed in terms of her accepting lift or not.
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#35 of 41 Old 02-22-2010, 12:14 AM
 
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Originally Posted by hermionesmum View Post
Pukey smells in a warm car are not easy to get rid of! Last summer I ended up having mine professionally valeted because I couldn't get the smell out, in spite of numerous attempts to do so.

I can understand your friend feeling offended and suggest that you talk to your dd about how her comments are making her friend's mum feel, regardless of how you want to proceed in terms of her accepting lift or not.
The comment didn't go from her dd to her friend. Unless it was biohazard, godawful I would tell my dc to deal. As far as the OP continuing to be so honest with the mom....well there is a fine line between "to honest" and rude.
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#36 of 41 Old 02-22-2010, 12:18 AM
 
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Pukey smells in a warm car are not easy to get rid of! Last summer I ended up having mine professionally valeted because I couldn't get the smell out, in spite of numerous attempts to do so.
.
If this was the case though my response would be "oh my gosh, I know, it is disgusting but there is nothing I have found to get the smell out. of course it is fine if she does not want to ride in my car. I don't even want to ride in my car. "


anyone else feeling a sudden compulsion to go out and clean their car. mine, as always in the dead of winter, is moving into biohazard mode. I need to find a warm place to go clean out my car....vaccuum....shampoo....

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#37 of 41 Old 02-22-2010, 12:37 AM
 
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Originally Posted by newbymom05 View Post
If someone told me that my car was so filthy that my child's friend refused to ride in it, I'd be incredibly embarrassed. I'd also clean it. I would hope this mom will? Even if it's the microbe/busy mom theory, if a CHILD complained I would be heading to the car wash center.

So, pp pretty much sums it up for me. My stbx joined the army and left me his car to sell. Oh, and he didn't even clean it first. So, I took it in and the guy said it was the second dirtiest car he's ever seen. It was beyond disgusting. Let me tell you, that when my stbx gets back, I will be having words with him. No way will I let my son drive around in a car like that again....

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#38 of 41 Old 02-22-2010, 10:06 AM
 
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I think it's great that you've honored your DDs feelings on this.

Riding in a car with someone is a life and death issue every single time, even though most of us don't give it a thought until we have a close call or an accident.

If we condition our children to disregard their own instincts at a young age, how do we teach them later to make wise choices when getting into someone's car?

It does not sound like your DD is being unreasonable.
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#39 of 41 Old 02-22-2010, 10:47 AM
 
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anyone else feeling a sudden compulsion to go out and clean their car. mine, as always in the dead of winter, is moving into biohazard mode. I need to find a warm place to go clean out my car....vaccuum....shampoo....
Yes! It's not horrid but there's no reason for me to leave toys and clothes in there! Last year I paid $130 to have it detailed at a local place. I think I'll be scheduling that soon...it's been a year.

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#40 of 41 Old 02-22-2010, 11:18 AM
 
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From your first post my answer was that you were rude to say anything, and that your dd can suck it up if she wants to go.

From your second post, my answer is that you had to be honest when asked, and that your dd has a very valid point, and I wouldn't let her go in the car either.

Moral: put ALL the info in the OP.
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#41 of 41 Old 02-22-2010, 03:06 PM
 
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That car sounds disgusting.

I would not allow my child to ride in it, let alone tell her that she must do so.

Some old mail and some cracker crumbs are one thing, SMELLS and garbage are another.

Your friend should be embarrassed.

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