AP=no highchair or sippy?? - Mothering Forums

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Old 03-07-2010, 04:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I was watching a show on Discovery Health and it featured attachment parenting. The mother who practiced AP said that because she was AP, her kids didn't sit in a high chair or use a sippy. Does anyone else see this as some tenet of AP or is she misinterpreting? I am AP and my 2-year-old uses a sippy because he doesn't "get" a regular cup yet. Opinions, please!!

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Old 03-07-2010, 04:40 PM
 
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I'm AP, and I used a high chair with ds1, and use a booster seat for ds2 (same thing, as far as this goes- just saves room). Ds2 LOVES his booster chair!
Ds1 used sippies, and I'm sure ds2 will, unless he just really prefers not to.

The only time I can imagine that high chairs or sippies would be non-AP would be if the kid didn't like them, and you (general you) insisted they use them. Or if you kept your dc in a highchair after they clearly indicated they wanted out. But that's a very different issue from saying they are non-AP altogether.

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Old 03-07-2010, 04:46 PM
 
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Odd! I hadn't heard that before. We used a booster seat and (briefly) a sippy for my toddler. The sippy was sort of a transitional thing between boob and actual cups. He uses regular cups now that he's a little more coordinated.

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Old 03-07-2010, 04:46 PM
 
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My opinion is that AP isn't about the tools you do or don't use, but about forming an attachment to your child and meeting your individual child's needs the best that you can. Each child is unique. The tools that are so often cited as being AP don't always work for every child. If that person was stating that highchairs or sippy cups would create barriers to her building an attachment with her children or meeting their needs, then I can see how not using them would be AP. I don't think that those tools would create problems for most parents.
From my personal experience, the things in sippy cups that keep them from dripping out liquid caused problems with my older son's latch. He had to suck so hard on the sippy cup that he started sucking hard while nursing (OUCH!). Once I removed those things, the sippys were no longer an issue. And highchairs definitely helped me out a lot! I would've collapsed from exhaustion without highchairs! How could I meet my children's needs then?

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Old 03-07-2010, 04:47 PM
 
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I think that as with anything, some people take things to the extreme. Sometimes those same "AP parents" who go on television give AP a bad name.

I used a high chair. But, I don't like sippy cups. I just have a personal problem with sippy cups. I DO think there is a time and a place for sippies. (and an age to stop using them) My own feelings on those have absolutely nothing to do with AP though.

I watched a Youtube of two or three AP families, and I thought it looked bizzare and extreme. ANYBODY who might have wanted to look into AP would run away from it because these parents seemed so weird. It was as if the tv station found the strangest people they could just to shock the mainstream into saying "SEEE??? That is exactly what I never want to be".
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Old 03-07-2010, 04:50 PM
 
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I agree with DevaMajka but it frustrates me when I see stuff like this. It's no wonder there are so many misconceptions about AP when people say stuff like that! FTR, my ds uses both a high chair and a sippy cup and I don't have problems with either from an AP standpoint or my personal philosophy

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Old 03-07-2010, 04:50 PM
 
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Old 03-07-2010, 04:51 PM
 
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Old 03-07-2010, 04:52 PM
 
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Nope, not true at all. There are times when the safest place for baby is the high chair. And sippy cups are fine.. I don't know anyone in real life who would not give their kids a cup.
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Old 03-07-2010, 04:55 PM
 
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Interpret AP however you like. For me it is more about intent than actual stuff you buy or things you actually do.

I realise this is a very open statement but this in an AP board and I'm sure you know what I mean.
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Old 03-07-2010, 05:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So many answers already! Wonderful! I also worry when AP becomes more about the "tools" then the kid. I am AP but my youngest is not breastfed and doesn't co-sleep-I couldn't keep up my milk supply and he was NOT interested in co-sleeping. I found this frustrating because they're treating it like in order to be a "good" AP'er you have to wear baby ALL the time (unless they're asleep) and not use anything artificial to feed them. I feel like it alienates people who might want to explore AP but feel intimidated by all the criteria they have to meet.

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Old 03-07-2010, 05:14 PM
 
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I But, I don't like sippy cups. I just have a personal problem with sippy cups. I DO think there is a time and a place for sippies. (and an age to stop using them) My own feelings on those have absolutely nothing to do with AP though.
I agree, we use Sippy cups in their place but I don't let my kids walk all over the house with them or have drinks "all the time". I think it's become where kids expect food and drinks to be available all the time. (I'm not talking about babies).

I do see some parents using sippys for years....

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Old 03-07-2010, 06:09 PM
 
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in that case i/we are definetly NOT ap!! DS1 used a sassy seat and is currently using a booster seat, ds2 has just started sitting in the sassy seat at the talbe w/ us the past week or two. DS1 still uses sippies about half the time - I ask him 'do you want a lid?' and he'll say yes or no. I think their invaluable for in the car (though we've switched to straw cups over the past year or so as DS1 seems to prefer them), and I honestly can't imagine why you'd be against high chairs of some sort. Wheres your kid eating otherwise? On your lap 100% of the time?!?!
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Old 03-07-2010, 06:31 PM
 
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I do see some parents using sippys for years....
That would be us. Dd has to have her drinks other than water in a Sigg with top if she wants to take them anywhere other than the kitchen. It's a sippy cup, essentially. She's 8. And I do the same for myself. I personally don't see anything wrong with cups that are spill-proof and actually kind of see them as practical for many situations.

I agree with the PPs who say that ridiculous statements like in the OP give AP a bad name. Not necessarily a bad name, but spreads misconceptions. It's sad.
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Old 03-07-2010, 06:32 PM
 
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I was watching a show on Discovery Health and it featured attachment parenting. The mother who practiced AP said that because she was AP, her kids didn't sit in a high chair or use a sippy. Does anyone else see this as some tenet of AP or is she misinterpreting? I am AP and my 2-year-old uses a sippy because he doesn't "get" a regular cup yet. Opinions, please!!
This is one reason why I don't put a name to my parenting method. We do what works for us, as a family unit. If I go around saying I'm an X type parent, there's bound to be someone who looks at us and says, but THAT's not X!!! Kids don't fit into molds, why should parenting methods?

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Old 03-07-2010, 06:41 PM
 
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It's kind of silly to think you aren't meeting your child's needs (practicing AP) if you do or don't do something, or use this or don't use that.

I mean the entire point of attachment parenting is to respond to your child's needs and every child/family situation comes with so many variables.

We never used a high chair just because it seemed like a waste of space in our teeny kitchen. DD has a booster seat that has a detachable tray, I guess that's pretty much the same thing as a high chair.

We used sippy cups and straw cups. My DD is 3.5 and she still has a few random sippy cups that she loves. She calls them her baby cups. Doesn't matter to us, it's not like a pacifier or something that could be harmful dentally speaking. She knows how to drink from a regular cup without a lid or straw just like an adult too.

We have cats, and I've found that sippy cups are important--DD likes to keep a drink of water by the bed now that my milk has dried up during pregnancy. If it isn't spill proof sure enough a cat will spill it in the middle of the night, or a cat will try to drink out of it, or get fur in it--yuck! (I keep a stainless steel bottle on the night stand for myself...)

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Old 03-07-2010, 06:54 PM
 
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We have cats, and I've found that sippy cups are important--DD likes to keep a drink of water by the bed now that my milk has dried up during pregnancy. If it isn't spill proof sure enough a cat will spill it in the middle of the night, or a cat will try to drink out of it, or get fur in it--yuck! (I keep a stainless steel bottle on the night stand for myself...)
LOL, dh and I use sippy cups at night for the same reason! Plus, you don't accidentally dribble any out the side of your mouth and onto the bed during the night

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Old 03-07-2010, 07:12 PM
 
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I've never read/heard that highchairs are anti-AP. But I've also not agreed that baby buckets and strollers are anti-AP. I've used all three and they haven't kept me from parenting the way I do, which is responding to my child's needs in a respectful manner, following my instincts, following their instincts and allowing them to lead when it's safe and reasonable for them to do so.

I've found that my babies sometimes needed some downtime from me. They loved to be held a LOT, but also enjoyed a break from me for short periods throughout the day. 10-15 minutes in the high chair practicing picking up and eating O's or chewing on a frozen banana in a mesh baggie while I'm a few feet away making dinner or washing dishes....how is that anti-AP?

Sure if you stick a kid in a high chair and shove them in front of the TV and ignore them for hours, then that would not be AP at all. I've known people who do that or who use reclining high chairs to hold a baby with a propped bottle for hours on end. Perhaps that is misuse of a highchair. It doesn't mean that anyone who uses a highchair isn't practicing AP.

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Old 03-07-2010, 07:13 PM
 
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We used both, but my kids did switch to a booster seat pretty early instead of sticking with the highchair.
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Old 03-07-2010, 07:36 PM
 
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What people call AP is astounding.

AP is essentially this:

Respond to child's needs in a timely and appropriate manner.
.
Well and succinctly put! The various permutations of putting this ideology into practice will vary with the child and the circumstances.
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Old 03-07-2010, 08:03 PM
 
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I agree, we use Sippy cups in their place but I don't let my kids walk all over the house with them or have drinks "all the time". I think it's become where kids expect food and drinks to be available all the time. (I'm not talking about babies).

I do see some parents using sippys for years....
We're parents who have used sippies for "years and years". Dd has severe, life-threatening food allergies, so she needs to go to daycare with her own cups/food/utensils, and she needs to use her own cups in restaurants (food servers handle bread and other crumby food, then pick up the cups--no point in risking dd getting something that could kill her on hands). I'm sure other parents think I'm crazy for using sippies at nearly 4 yo, wiping down tables and chairs before dd sits at them (I assume others assume I'm a germophobe)--I don't really care. They have no idea what it's like to have a severely food allergic child.

I don't see what bad lesson is being taught by a child having water available at all times. I have water available to me at all times.

We used a high chair for as long as dd would tolerate it for the same reason--anything that decreased the risk of cross-contamination from allergens is a plus for us. Now that she's out of a high chair, we always seat her at the head of the table (at home or out), for the same reason.
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Old 03-07-2010, 08:05 PM
 
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Actually, it sounds more Montessori than anything. Many of the principles coincide with AP because a huge part of the Montessori philosophy is respecting the child. Often people use the terms interchangeable when they are very different. AP is a parenting philosophy. Montessori can be so many things - a person, a type of education, a parenting philosophy, a way of life, principles to live by, etc. How each person takes it is unique to them.

It's pretty common for kids as young as 15 months to be drinking out of open glasses and sitting at tables. Some would say to assume your child cannot do these things can hamper their independence, confidence and self esteem. That's why in a traditional Montessori classroom, you'll see tiny tables and chairs with real plates and glasses.

To say "We use AP practices so we don't use high chairs or sippies" is like saying "I'm an athlete, so I don't eat cake". Does that mean all athletes avoid cake? Of course not. Does that mean that if you eat cake and are also an athlete that you are not a true athlete or somehow misguided. Obviously not.

As parents we are like athletes, taking and leaving the advice, experience, and research from others that work best for us as individuals in order to have optimal performance.
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Old 03-07-2010, 08:10 PM
 
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Oh god. I did this whole AP totally wrong. I ruined my child. Well, at least I have another one on the way. No sippy cups for you, she says in the voice of the Soup Nazi...

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Old 03-07-2010, 08:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We are all about the straw sippys in this house! Both the kids use them-Canaan never liked the regular sippies and Ezra never had a chance to find out (poor deprived second child).

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Old 03-07-2010, 08:21 PM
 
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What people call AP is astounding.

AP is essentially this:

Respond to child's needs in a timely and appropriate manner.

Exactly (and everything else you wrote as well). I am AMAZED at how judgmental and militant people can become over the "right" way and "wrong" way of parenting. Oy!

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Old 03-07-2010, 08:22 PM
 
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It's pretty common for kids as young as 15 months to be drinking out of open glasses and sitting at tables. Some would say to assume your child cannot do these things can hamper their independence, confidence and self esteem. That's why in a traditional Montessori classroom, you'll see tiny tables and chairs with real plates and glasses.
See.. that is probably one of the reasons I don't like sippy cups. (again, there is a time and a place and an age for sippy cups) I have worked in daycare centers since the early 80s. Sippy cups weren't invented until the mid 90s. So, the babies sat at a small table, and drank milk from a plastic tumbler without a lid, and we cleaned up the spills without giving it any thought. Even at 15 months, they brought the plate to the bins, scraped the extra food off, and put the empty plate into the other bin. It was just expected. Nobody ever thought kids were incapable of such things. It almost offends me when I see adults (who didn't own a sippy cup as a child) who think their own three year old can't drink from a regular cup. I feel like people think kids are idiots these days.

*off topic now* I was in Florida recently, and saw a bunch of kids swimming in the pool. They weren't together, just all swimming at the hotel pool. They all had moms sitting at the side of the pool (watching as they should be) but, the kids, as old as nine and ten would swim up to mom, and she would put a cookie, or a cracker into the child's mouth then some juice, and the kid would swim off. I looked at my nine year old and said "you would starve to death before I would bring snacks to a hotel pool" LOL. There were even signs posted all over saying "no food or drinks in pool area".
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Old 03-07-2010, 08:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I wish that we could bag the sippy because it would be a lot easier-he'll only use one specific type of straw sippy and it's really difficult to clean. He just doesn't understand how to drink out of a glass though-he holds it and licks the water! It doesn't help that I have OCD and only drink water in bottles either. (I refill the bottles, I just need a cover for the water).

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Old 03-07-2010, 08:37 PM
 
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See.. that is probably one of the reasons I don't like sippy cups. (again, there is a time and a place and an age for sippy cups) I have worked in daycare centers since the early 80s. Sippy cups weren't invented until the mid 90s.

I have photos of myself as an infant/toddler with a "tommee tippee" which looks just like a sippy cup. I'm 33.

DS uses one sometimes, he's 2.5. He likes to shake his cup for whatever reason (probably because DH makes protein shakes a lot for all of us and uses a shaker cup to mix them). So, in the case of house cleanliness around my table, he gets a lid most of the time. Although he is perfectly physically capable of using a regular cup if need be, I'd prefer not to deal with constant liquid mess. I'll let him use a lidded cup until he's clearly more careful.

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Old 03-07-2010, 08:40 PM
 
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I have photos of myself as an infant/toddler with a "tommee tippee" which looks just like a sippy cup. I'm 33.

.
Yes, but they were sippy/sucky cups either. You couldn't just wander around carrying it without it spilling, and you didn't have to suck on it. They also had tupperware cups with lids and spouts. My daughter is 17, and they had sports bottles back then.
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Old 03-07-2010, 09:52 PM
 
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Well my DS would have used sippy cups except he didn't want to turn them up to drink from them. He would bring them to us to turn them which got old really fast. We ditched those and got straw cups. Heck I even use a covered straw cup from Tupperware .

Oh and DS has used a high chair now turned into a booster. Oh well.

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