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#1 of 67 Old 03-07-2010, 07:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello everyone! I believe there was an old tribe that was archived.. so I'm starting up a new one

I'll start off..
I am 19 years old. I got pregnant with my first daughter when I was 16, at the end of my Junior year of high school. She was born in December 2007, in the middle of my senior year. I graduated, and went on to marry my husband (her father) in November 2008. I became pregnant with my second daughter in March 2009, and she was born in December 2009

I'm so happy I found MDC... I was involved with a mainstream forum and often found myself getting flamed for my parenting choices.. We co-sleep, breastfeed exclusively, babywear (and toddlerwear!), cloth diaper, don't vaccinate... along with countless other things I'm by nature a crunchy person (no pun intended!). I feel that MDC has become a great home for me and there are such wonderful people here, and I have not gotten flamed or attacked for my age, and have been very supported

So, Young Mamas, Introduce yourselves! I think this will be a great place to discuss the finer bits as well as the tough aspects of being a young mom

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#2 of 67 Old 03-07-2010, 08:08 PM
 
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Oh, God- I'm so thankful for this thread! I love MDC but have often wished there was a place here in particular for younger moms.

I'm 19, had my daughter a couple months before I turned 18. She is amazing and everything to me, she changed my life completely and I have really had an amazing experience mothering her. We had a natural birth with a midwife, and it was awesome. Her father and I are engaged and still in love, despite the ups and downs of parenthood He's a great guy (22). I graduated, I'm in my second semester of college, on the honor roll And pretty proud. But lately, very tired ... we co sleep, still nursing, don't vaccinate, gentle discipline, etc etc and there is not much support, I am finding more and more as she gets older, for these kinds of choices in my day to day life. We're in between pedi's since ours said (after suggesting I wean since bf'ing now had "no nutritional benefits" and telling me dd should have been in her own bed since 2 months old) that if we don't fully vax, that isn't the place for us. Thank goodness my mother nursed us all and co slept with us all, she's pretty supportive.

Anyways I am running on, did I mention I was exhausted?? Thanks for starting this thread, I can't wait to see what it produces!

forever following the lead of a colorful active little monkey
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#3 of 67 Old 03-07-2010, 11:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I hope more mamas join us!!

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#4 of 67 Old 03-08-2010, 09:22 PM
 
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I'll say hi but I have a feeling I'm mostly going to lurk. I'm 22 so maybe a little "old" for you ladies which feels funny to say since the average MDC member would call me very young

I got pregnant at 19, lost the baby a week after I turned 20. Also got married at 20 and found out DS was on his way 4 days later. I was 21 when he was born, left XH when DS was 4 months old. I'm now with the kind of man I *should* have married in the first place (sometimes it takes a really rotten one to appreciate a good one ). We had an oops and are now expecting #2 in August. The timing isn't that great since I'm a single WOHM and he juggles full time school and full time work but we're both thrilled
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#5 of 67 Old 03-09-2010, 12:39 AM
 
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I'm so glad this thread exists!

Hello, ladies! I'm 21. I was 19 when I got pregnant and 20 when I had my son. His dad isn't involved, so it's just me, my little boy, and our dog and two cats. I hope to someday find "the one" and get married and have more babies... but for now I'm quite content with my happy little family.

WindyCityMom, I see you ALL OVER MDC. I'm glad to have a fellow young Chicago mama! Although, I'm not in the city anymore. I moved out to the burbs to be closer to my family. I'm in West Dundee now.

Single Mama to Vincent 3/30/09
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#6 of 67 Old 03-09-2010, 02:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
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LOL, Sami, as you can see I love MDC and lucky you! I love the burbs, I really do. Someday I hope to get settled down out there since the cost of living is so much lower Glad to see another young mom in the area on MDC. Most of the young mamas in Chicago are swimming with the mainstream and it kinda gets hard to associate with people my own age.

I don't think it matters if you're in your 20s It is still young, compared to most MDCers.

I feel like such a young one, having gotten pregnant with my first at 16! Anywho, glad to see more mamas here.

rainbow1284.gif Mama to DD1 (6) DD2 (4) and DD3 (1)
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#7 of 67 Old 03-09-2010, 03:04 AM
 
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Well, I am "old" for this thread but I want to tell you that I had my first when I was 20, second when I was 22, and my third when I was 31 (I am now 32). I wish so much I could have found a place like this when I was first starting to raise my children. Young parents need support and back "then", the internet was not what is today.

DH and I both graduated college (he a semester early, me a semester late) and beat all the "odds" everyone though certainly were against us.

I just wanted to say that I am glad you have a place to share your experiences and support each other.

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#8 of 67 Old 03-09-2010, 03:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Aw, thanks a bunch and I'm so happy for you, to have overcome all of the obstacles and stereotypes.

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#9 of 67 Old 03-09-2010, 03:28 AM
 
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Howdy! I'm not super young now at 22 but I had my son when I was 20. He is 19 months old now. I am recently (4 days ago!) married and we are planning on TTC #2 this summer.

Good to see a new tribe!
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#10 of 67 Old 03-09-2010, 04:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Congrats, Rebecca!

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#11 of 67 Old 03-09-2010, 03:28 PM
 
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I'm so glad to find this tribe! I'm 19 (almost 20), and I had my daughter in September. Everyone said being a mom was going to be so hard, but I'm finding the hardest part to be finding like-minded moms to hang out with that don't care that I'm a youngin', lol.

Married to David since 2/16/08. Baby wearing, breastfeeding, bed sharing, delayed vaxing, cloth diapering, SAHM to Bella, my punctual little girl, born on her due date, 9/3/09
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#12 of 67 Old 03-09-2010, 11:53 PM
 
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i am 21. i got pregnant at 20. my darling son is 11 months.
have been a nanny since 18. i love raising kids. it's awesome.
its not the age, it's the mentality.
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#13 of 67 Old 03-10-2010, 12:45 AM
 
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Hi! 21 Here - and I'm so thankful that I came across this thread. There's so many individuals who think that simply because a woman is young, she cannot raise and take care of an infant. I'm also currently a Midwifery student; so I often hear, "You're never going to be able to care for an infant, etc.". I've always had a more natural approach to parenting/mommyhood - and I'm glad that there's other women to communicate this with (whom are in my age range).

Ashely - Expecting stork-suprise.gif Home-Birthed Baby in February 2011. Full Spectrum Birth Professional.
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#14 of 67 Old 03-10-2010, 05:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
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its not the age, it's the mentality.
I couldn't agree more!

BrittneyMarie, I too find it difficult IRL to find like-minded people who don't bat an eye about my age. I also LOOK younger than I actually am, which doesn't help much!

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#15 of 67 Old 03-11-2010, 12:11 AM
 
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I got pregnant at 18, married my husband (the father) and had my LO a month after my 19th birthday. I didn't have a natural birth, I used disposables, I didn't even start off co-sleeping, because at the time my mom was my biggest influence and so I did what she did. I had PPD and didn't feel up to making my own decision about my LO. But after visiting the LLL site to get some support for my BFing (my mom wanted me to quit after 2 weeks, when I was devastated because my milk had temporarily dried up), I switched to AP style parenting... fortunately I don't think I messed up too much But now that I am over my PPD (thanks to BFing- never would have pulled myself out without it!) I feel great being a young mom. There are some other moms around here who bf and such but not very many young ones. It is great to feel not alone!
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#16 of 67 Old 03-11-2010, 02:41 AM
 
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hey young mommas! got married at 19 to a military guy, pregnant at 20, and had my DD at 21. i have found a few young mommies in my area, but none that "think" like me. and then when i find like-minded people, they can't get over how "young" i am. my DD has now turned into a 16 mo toddler and my oh my she tests me with the tantrums, haha.
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#17 of 67 Old 03-11-2010, 03:39 PM
 
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It's such a comfort to know there are others out there with the same dilemma as me! There are plenty of young mom around here, and I think there's a decent number of AP moms... but none who are both! I don't mind hanging out with the older ladies, but the couple of times I've gone to AP playgroups I've kind of felt like the outsider. I do plan to keep trying though.

I also feel that, as a young mother, people don't trust my judgment or my maternal instinct. Which isn't a big deal, because I trust my instincts/judgment. But now that my DS is almost a year old I'm starting to get a lot of comments from family members about the fact that I'm still breastfeeding. Up until now, whenever someone asks me how long I plan to breastfeed I've said "at least until he's a year old, then we'll go from there." So now I'm going to have to start saying "at least until he's two, then we'll go from there." I have no idea what kind of reaction that's going to get!

Single Mama to Vincent 3/30/09
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#18 of 67 Old 03-11-2010, 04:06 PM
 
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I also feel that, as a young mother, people don't trust my judgment or my maternal instinct. Which isn't a big deal, because I trust my instincts/judgment. But now that my DS is almost a year old I'm starting to get a lot of comments from family members about the fact that I'm still breastfeeding. Up until now, whenever someone asks me how long I plan to breastfeed I've said "at least until he's a year old, then we'll go from there." So now I'm going to have to start saying "at least until he's two, then we'll go from there." I have no idea what kind of reaction that's going to get!
I FEEL YA on this. My mother is way supportive but my MIL is constantly questioning my "hippie" parenting choices. I get kind of down on this sometimes but try to remember I'm Momma, I'm in charge, and I know what's right for my LO.

forever following the lead of a colorful active little monkey
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#19 of 67 Old 03-11-2010, 04:07 PM
 
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BrittneyMarie, I too find it difficult IRL to find like-minded people who don't bat an eye about my age. I also LOOK younger than I actually am, which doesn't help much!
Ugh, me too. People legit STARE at me in stores and whatnot when we're out together. I wonder if they are trying to figure out if I am Momma or Nanny. I'm ashamed to say wearing my engagement ring makes me feel more "worthy" out in public .. such a messed up way to feel, I know, but sometimes I just get so tired of the judgmental glares.

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#20 of 67 Old 03-11-2010, 04:09 PM
 
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I'm also currently a Midwifery student.
I am considering pursuing this but won't know where to begin- I'm in my first year of college getting my pre-reqs done. Any advice?

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#21 of 67 Old 03-11-2010, 07:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Aaah I know how you feel about the rings. I do this as well.. I don't know why I feel the need to feel "justified" in other people's eyes, if that makes sense, but sometimes people glaring at me becomes too much.

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#22 of 67 Old 03-11-2010, 10:52 PM
 
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I'm not a young mama (28), but I look like really young and I have to agree on the ring part. When I don't wear one I feel self conscious. Lately I haven't been able to wear one because it's caused an allergic reaction. Although, I've felt conscious even with one on at times. People don't always look at the ring finger.

It's so nice to see young mama's being conscious! I worked as a therapist for a bit and I met a lot of young mama's who gave other young moms a bad rep. Please don't take that the wrong way, I mean it in a positive way and I do know there are LOTS of young mama's who do a good job.

Mother to a crazy wonderful son born 7-11-09 and A very determined amazing daughter born 5-3-12!
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#23 of 67 Old 03-12-2010, 12:46 AM
 
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that's a great tribe, Im glad to chat with you guys! I'm 24 and I got preggy when I just turned 23. My little angel now is 8 months old. I had an UC home birth with my partner, use CD (excpt for night time), co-sleep, selectively vax etc. I absolutely feel like Im an outsider in an area I live in( Brooklyn, NY), because most of moms here with babies of the same age as mine, I'd say.. at least 10 years older.. I look younger than I am and probably too hip or weird so I do get that glimpses which make me feel like I'm a teenage mom. (I can imagine what teenage moms feel, poor things!)
Also people often ask if I am a mom or.. (meaning a babysitter) which makes me wanna ask back if she is a grandma lol

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#24 of 67 Old 03-12-2010, 01:05 AM
 
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Ugh, me too. People legit STARE at me in stores and whatnot when we're out together. I wonder if they are trying to figure out if I am Momma or Nanny. I'm ashamed to say wearing my engagement ring makes me feel more "worthy" out in public .. such a messed up way to feel, I know, but sometimes I just get so tired of the judgmental glares.
Some assumed I was my son's nanny today. I looked maybe 15 or so. what I hated most was when I got "pity" looks from people while I was pregnant, and even now. But, most people are nice, but they do love to question/judge what I choose to do, especially my mom
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#25 of 67 Old 03-12-2010, 04:07 PM
 
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Some assumed I was my son's nanny today. I looked maybe 15 or so. what I hated most was when I got "pity" looks from people while I was pregnant, and even now. But, most people are nice, but they do love to question/judge what I choose to do, especially my mom
That must be tough. My mom's usually the one person who agrees with me, no matter how crunchy I'm being. Don't know what I'd do without that little ego boost. Do you have someone who IS supportive of whatever you choose?

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#26 of 67 Old 03-12-2010, 04:13 PM
 
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I'm not a young mama (28), but I look like really young and I have to agree on the ring part. When I don't wear one I feel self conscious. Lately I haven't been able to wear one because it's caused an allergic reaction. Although, I've felt conscious even with one on at times. People don't always look at the ring finger.

It's so nice to see young mama's being conscious! I worked as a therapist for a bit and I met a lot of young mama's who gave other young moms a bad rep. Please don't take that the wrong way, I mean it in a positive way and I do know there are LOTS of young mama's who do a good job.
I get this. Not proud to say it, but I do.

There are a lot of "teen" moms in my area. Off the top of my head, and out of my graduating class, there are .. let's see .. nine or ten? And tons of other girls I don't know but see on FB and such. Of all of them, I'm the only one still nursing, or who nursed more than a week or so, if at all. I'm the only one I know to wait til 6mo for solids .. who doesn't leave her LO to go out and party ... most of them smoke and drink ... etc.

It stinks because one or two girls I was close to before they got pregnant, or at least friendly with. I tried to gently introduce that they didn't HAVE to switch to formula or use CIO or give them cereal at four months or what have you ... and they kind of distanced themselves. People want to do what they want to do, and that doesn't change, no matter how old you are.

But I really wish I had some friends my own age with children I could relate to. The mommy friends I do have, awesome as they are, are a bit older.But I'm still grateful for them.

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#27 of 67 Old 03-12-2010, 04:14 PM
 
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Aaah I know how you feel about the rings. I do this as well.. I don't know why I feel the need to feel "justified" in other people's eyes, if that makes sense, but sometimes people glaring at me becomes too much.

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#28 of 67 Old 03-12-2010, 08:07 PM
 
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I'm 21, I just turned 21 on January 28th my DD turned 2 on January 9th. I graduated highschool 3 months pregnant. I turned 19 three weeks after I had her. We have breastfed and coslept since birth. We delayed and selectively vaxxed and try to use gentle discipline. After a stint in nursing school, I am now happily training to become a holistic health counselor/health coach. I'm engaged to her father, and we've been together for 4 years. Luckily, my family believes in BF and CS so I get a lot of support there, but DH's family all bottle feed, CIO, party, etc... so it's very difficult to find common ground. It's difficult for me, in particular, because I look about 15. People are genuinely surprised to find out that I have a child, and even more so when they find out how old I am. I used to feel a lot of anxiety about how others were viewing me, but I've come to realize that I believe in my choices, my daughter has benefitted from them, and I stand by them. Forget what other people think! I’m PLEASED to announce that I got switched to a new pediatrician and found out she is tandem BFing and CSing with her 1 and 3 year olds, so never forget that there IS support out there! I wish you all lived closer and we could have playdates… it’s hard to find people around here who are our age and share our values. Being AP can certainly get lonely sometimes.
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#29 of 67 Old 03-13-2010, 08:21 PM
 
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I wish you all lived closer and we could have playdates… it’s hard to find people around here who are our age and share our values. Being AP can certainly get lonely sometimes.
Amen to that!

Single Mama to Vincent 3/30/09
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#30 of 67 Old 03-13-2010, 09:04 PM
 
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It's such a comfort to know there are others out there with the same dilemma as me! There are plenty of young mom around here, and I think there's a decent number of AP moms... but none who are both! I don't mind hanging out with the older ladies, but the couple of times I've gone to AP playgroups I've kind of felt like the outsider. I do plan to keep trying though.

I also feel that, as a young mother, people don't trust my judgment or my maternal instinct. Which isn't a big deal, because I trust my instincts/judgment. But now that my DS is almost a year old I'm starting to get a lot of comments from family members about the fact that I'm still breastfeeding. Up until now, whenever someone asks me how long I plan to breastfeed I've said "at least until he's a year old, then we'll go from there." So now I'm going to have to start saying "at least until he's two, then we'll go from there." I have no idea what kind of reaction that's going to get!

Depends on which family member you ask . I think it's great, wish I could have done it and would be glad to say that to anyone who gives you any flack.

(Old AP mom from your family gonna leave your thread now)
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