I took my nearly 3 y.o. boy into a store yesterday. He is a kind, gentle, sensitive boy. He's still 3 y.o., though, and part of the deal of him running errands with me is that we play for him while we also shop for me.
Yesterday, we entered this store for the first time. The woman behind the counter was on the phone, making customers wait while she was quite cranky (I'd say rude) to whomever it was with whom she was speaking. I had been considering picking up the craft but bought a simple bottle of eucalan instead. Meanwhile, my son figured out that there was a motion sensor that triggered the doorbell, and he had a terrible lot of fun triggering it. He was laughing with intense delight, and I enoyed it terribly.
Once I'd gone through checkout, he requested that we stay at the store so that he could play some more. I said that was fine, for him just to let me know when he was ready. Then the woman behind the counter said something rude, I cannot quite remember what, but something along the lines of, "No, he cannot. I've had enough of that. The first ten times were bad enough, but this is ____." I cannot remember what she said exactly, but she was just as cranky and rude with my son (and me) as she'd been on the phone, to say the least. Unfortunately, I didn't feel calm and peaceful in return. So I stooped to her level and said, "How rude!" Then some other woman said angrily, "That's not rude! He was driving me nuts!" I said, "Well, you're rude, too." Then I turned to my distressed son and explained to him, who was urging that we stay, that we wouldn't stay because I didn't want to expose him to rude, mean people. I picked him up, walked out the door, and said, "Get a life." Ooh, a real low point.
I wish that I had said something else, done something else. I was really horrified by what these women had said and done. But I wish that I'd said something more in line with the integrity I carry with me. I wish I'd said something calm and stinging, at the very least, like, "I am leaving your establishment with my son. When I leave, I will take my business and the business of my friends and family with me. But more than that, I will take with me this little piece of misery you've shared with me. Still, I will leave a profoundly happy person, and you will stay here a profoundly miserable person."
But then I think, perhaps they're going through menopause and just really irritable and physically uncomfortable. Maybe I should've said something like, "I can see that you are feeling miserable. You have shared your misery with us, which I find unfortunate and inappropriate." Then, turning to my son, "I am sorry that this woman behaved inappropriately towards you and towards me. I do not wish to expose you to that, so we are going to leave the store." Then, perhaps to the lady, "I hope that you find some place of joy in your heart, so that you might delight in the laughter of a child regardless of circumstances."
So, what do you think I should've said and done? I need to empower myself for the next time it happens.
Yesterday, we entered this store for the first time. The woman behind the counter was on the phone, making customers wait while she was quite cranky (I'd say rude) to whomever it was with whom she was speaking. I had been considering picking up the craft but bought a simple bottle of eucalan instead. Meanwhile, my son figured out that there was a motion sensor that triggered the doorbell, and he had a terrible lot of fun triggering it. He was laughing with intense delight, and I enoyed it terribly.
Once I'd gone through checkout, he requested that we stay at the store so that he could play some more. I said that was fine, for him just to let me know when he was ready. Then the woman behind the counter said something rude, I cannot quite remember what, but something along the lines of, "No, he cannot. I've had enough of that. The first ten times were bad enough, but this is ____." I cannot remember what she said exactly, but she was just as cranky and rude with my son (and me) as she'd been on the phone, to say the least. Unfortunately, I didn't feel calm and peaceful in return. So I stooped to her level and said, "How rude!" Then some other woman said angrily, "That's not rude! He was driving me nuts!" I said, "Well, you're rude, too." Then I turned to my distressed son and explained to him, who was urging that we stay, that we wouldn't stay because I didn't want to expose him to rude, mean people. I picked him up, walked out the door, and said, "Get a life." Ooh, a real low point.
I wish that I had said something else, done something else. I was really horrified by what these women had said and done. But I wish that I'd said something more in line with the integrity I carry with me. I wish I'd said something calm and stinging, at the very least, like, "I am leaving your establishment with my son. When I leave, I will take my business and the business of my friends and family with me. But more than that, I will take with me this little piece of misery you've shared with me. Still, I will leave a profoundly happy person, and you will stay here a profoundly miserable person."
But then I think, perhaps they're going through menopause and just really irritable and physically uncomfortable. Maybe I should've said something like, "I can see that you are feeling miserable. You have shared your misery with us, which I find unfortunate and inappropriate." Then, turning to my son, "I am sorry that this woman behaved inappropriately towards you and towards me. I do not wish to expose you to that, so we are going to leave the store." Then, perhaps to the lady, "I hope that you find some place of joy in your heart, so that you might delight in the laughter of a child regardless of circumstances."
So, what do you think I should've said and done? I need to empower myself for the next time it happens.