Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Bay Area, CA
Mentioned: 4 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 49 Post(s)
To be clear, I don't "play dumb". I just choose the most effective method of getting my point about IF I care about the misinformation (and to be honest, most of the time, I do not. If someone is so weak that they can't decide for themselves and are going to be swayed by the loudest voice in the room, at least for that moment, then frankly they're going to be just as swayed at the next loud voice.). Most of the time, when my inclination is to debate without invitation, it's because I'm spoiling for a fight. And let's face it, someone spouting off ignorant, unsolicited advice is an EASY fight. Junk food.
I am unapologetic for both my alpha tendancies and my love of verbal fencing. That's who I am. However, because I have a strong personality, I feel a sense of...well, I don't know if "honor" is the best word for it but it's the closest thing I can come up with, anyway...I feel honor-bound to be compassionate to those around me, even though it's annoying as hell. I may be very bullheaded, but even I can tell that in general at most acquaintance mommy groups, people really don't want to turn them in to Fight Club. I have no reason to impose my love of a good argument on them because I have other alpha or debate fiend friends who love to wrestle with me and we can get down and dirty without fear. If I choose to go to this sort of event, where I know that debate is not socially appropriate, then I am CHOOSING to obey the social cues so that I can be a gracious guest. It's etiquette, not intelligence. Just because people feel uncomfortable with parenting conflict in a group that's just there to have a playdate or whatever doesn't mean that they're stupid.
IME people respond best when you approach them in a sensitive manner. For most people, that's not going to be arguing with some other person in order to win their soul. The target is going to think you're both asshats, and it's likely that s/he is right.
So why look at it as dumbing down? I see it as choosing the most effective way to get your point across, with minimal asshattery. Let the ignorant person wear that label, while you get to be the discreet and correct one. ;>
My advice may not be appropriate for you. That's ok. You are just fine how you are and I am the right kind of me.
If it's something that I think people might believe, then I speak up. If I can tell that everyone else is thinking "really? You believe that?" then I don't bother.
Mara, mama to two boys born 05/2009 and 04/2011, after four miscarriages.
|38 members and 17,194 guests|
|bananabee , Daffodil , DahliaRW , Deborah , delightedbutterfly , emmy526 , Haneen Elayyan , happymamasallie , hillymum , JElaineB , jen78tx , journeymom , katelove , Katherine73 , kathymuggle , klmccbs01 , lilmissgiggles , lisak1234 , Lucee , manyhatsmom , MeanVeggie , Michele123 , Mirzam , newmamalizzy , philomom , pulcetti , RollerCoasterMama , rubelin , SandiMae , sarahl918 , shantimama , StillMe , thegiving36 , transpecos , zebra15|
|Most users ever online was 449,755, 06-25-2014 at 01:21 PM.|