I am a SAHM and we are fortunate enough to have a large home with an in ground swimming pool. Here is the problem, my son has no interest at all in swimming. He is 13 and my daughter is 15 and they fight about it all the time.
Some background, for a long time, my son was afraid of water but we let it go because we thought he'd grow out of it. 2 years ago when it was obvious that wouldn't happen, we tried to get his cousin, 22 at the time, to teach him a couple of years ago, but his cousin's "drill sargeant" methods didn't work, so he didn't learn.
After that, I started mandating our son go into the pool whenever my daughter did. Although he did what he does what he is told, it's a big fight every time I wanted him to go in the pool. I thought if he'd wade in the shallow end, he'd get used to the water and want to know how to swim.
At the end of the last school year, I had a swimming party for his class, and all he did was go up into his room and stay there. I admit I did ask him if he wanted the party and he said no, but I thought having the party for him might get him more interested in the pool.
I did eventually find him lessons and he has learned to swim, but he still won't voluntarily go into the pool and go swimming every day. Before he took lessons, he asked me if he'd have a choice of whether or not he wanted to swim from then on and I of course told him yes because I thought once he got into the pool started swimming, he'd find it fun and want to swim, but he didn't so I still have to force it on him.
Another summer is starting and I don't want to deal with another summer of these constant fights between me, him, and his sister. His sister knows the rule is when she swims he has to swim too, and reminds him of it, but he still refuses to accept it. He also says his sister will sometimes deliberately decide to go swimming when he's doing something he likes to do, just to take him away from it.
I'm also concerned about him not getting enough exercise. He did used to ride bikes and play with his friends, but they would never let his sister participate in their activities, so I had to pretty much ban him from those things and from them because it was upsetting his sister too much.
My husband thinks the answer to this is simple, deny him everything, no TV, no music, no talking to friends, no leaving the house, just getting the pool everyday to build himself up to a decent level. He thinks if we do this, our son will have no choice but to learn to love swimming like everyone else. I'm desparate here not sure what to do.
Help.
MKH
Some background, for a long time, my son was afraid of water but we let it go because we thought he'd grow out of it. 2 years ago when it was obvious that wouldn't happen, we tried to get his cousin, 22 at the time, to teach him a couple of years ago, but his cousin's "drill sargeant" methods didn't work, so he didn't learn.
After that, I started mandating our son go into the pool whenever my daughter did. Although he did what he does what he is told, it's a big fight every time I wanted him to go in the pool. I thought if he'd wade in the shallow end, he'd get used to the water and want to know how to swim.
At the end of the last school year, I had a swimming party for his class, and all he did was go up into his room and stay there. I admit I did ask him if he wanted the party and he said no, but I thought having the party for him might get him more interested in the pool.
I did eventually find him lessons and he has learned to swim, but he still won't voluntarily go into the pool and go swimming every day. Before he took lessons, he asked me if he'd have a choice of whether or not he wanted to swim from then on and I of course told him yes because I thought once he got into the pool started swimming, he'd find it fun and want to swim, but he didn't so I still have to force it on him.
Another summer is starting and I don't want to deal with another summer of these constant fights between me, him, and his sister. His sister knows the rule is when she swims he has to swim too, and reminds him of it, but he still refuses to accept it. He also says his sister will sometimes deliberately decide to go swimming when he's doing something he likes to do, just to take him away from it.
I'm also concerned about him not getting enough exercise. He did used to ride bikes and play with his friends, but they would never let his sister participate in their activities, so I had to pretty much ban him from those things and from them because it was upsetting his sister too much.
My husband thinks the answer to this is simple, deny him everything, no TV, no music, no talking to friends, no leaving the house, just getting the pool everyday to build himself up to a decent level. He thinks if we do this, our son will have no choice but to learn to love swimming like everyone else. I'm desparate here not sure what to do.
Help.
MKH