WWYD? Cousin is a "bully" - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 33 Old 05-29-2010, 10:13 AM
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I have a friend whose 5 year old acts like this. She's mean and lies about what happens. It's been going on for the past 2 years and my friend is to blame b/c she's never done anything to correct her bad behavior. She's also very disrespectful to her mom (my friend). My friend doesn't it 'see' it the way I do so instead of ruining our friendship over it I just don't let her daughter play with mine. This only works for me though b/c she lives 3 hours away. I would try saying something about how this bad behavior needs to be corrected or you won't allow them to play together anymore.
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#32 of 33 Old 05-29-2010, 10:22 AM
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Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
Y'know, every time you write about your sister I see red and then calm down by reminding myself that you broke off contact long since. The truly sickening thing is your sister probably still has friends because she's capable of treating them with basic decency and they have no idea she can be so evil.
thank you.

but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#33 of 33 Old 05-29-2010, 10:51 AM
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There are already a lot of good replies here, but in response to the OP, I would say that sure, it is normal for kids to be somewhat difficult in relating to others - particularly younger relatives in their home environment...they can sometimes feel very threatened (I have a little experience with this when visiting my brother´s family - last time DS was 2 1/2 and DN was 4). However, being repeatedly physically violent to another human being should never be acceptable, regardless of the circumstances and no matter how much one might understand where it´s coming from. You certainly do not need to tolerate your son being pushed into a wall. If you are not in a position to take a major part in trying to help DN improve his interaction skills with DS (which is your choice), then it is not overreacting to limit the time they spend together...especially if you are 7 months pregnant - I would think you have a enough going on.

I don´t have professional advice or specific info. to offer, but I think the best way to handle thes types of situations is to be there in defense of your DS and try to thwart off any aggressive behavior before it happens - and just remove DS if it becomes too much. This seems to go far beyond the "try to let them work it out" theory...I know many PPs have already said something similar, but ultimately, you need to do what is best for you and your son. If he has plenty of other playmates with whom he can spend a pleasant time - even if it involves a little pushing and grabbing here and there - which is normal - I would try to focus on that.

It must be difficult because your mother is involved, but hopefully you can find a way to communicate your position gently, without too much negative reverb.

Good luck with this...

madre de Mathias http://www.primaryimmune.org http://www.michaeljfox.org
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