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#61 of 108 Old 06-06-2010, 04:28 AM
 
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Hugs to you and your daughter. I think this is exactly the kind of issue that will help you both in the future when it comes to dealing with her "differences."

TBH, my first reaction to your question was to be judgmental. And then, before I even opened the thread my next thought was, "Of course, it's not right to judge, b/c what if the child has a condition that's not completely obvious?" My judgmental instincts come from my very opinionated family combined with seeing parents in my family and just in the community) who just let their kids dictate EVERYTHING. We know more than one family whose older child "needed" a stroller b/c the child refused to do anything but eat and watch TV, and therefore couldn't make a lap around the shopping mall on his/her own two feet. No health issues, other than those brought on by unhealthy habits allowed by the parents. (One was someone we just saw at the mall, and the parents TOLD US that was the deal. We didn't ask... It was, "She won't walk ANYWHERE.") It was sad, in a lot of ways, but of course brings up judgment for similar scenes now where it's not warranted.

I say, forget about all of us ignorant judgmental folks and live your life. Our opinions don't matter anyway!
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#62 of 108 Old 06-06-2010, 05:06 AM
 
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Gotta say I'm kinda shocked at all the respondants who would immediately assume a 5yo kid in a stroller has a special need rather than just assuming it was a LONG walk and they were tired or that mom/dad wanted to actually make it to the destination and back in under 3 hours (which is what it would take us to walk the 1/2 mile to the grocery store if my son walked because he would stop to pick every.single.flower on the way). My completely typical 4.5yo LOVES to ride in the double jogger with his brother. Sometimes he wants to get out and walk and other times he just wants to ride and enjoy the scenery. I guess when I see an "older" kid in a stroller, my first thought isn't "Wonder what's wrong with him/her that he/she has to ride and not walk" but rather "Oh look, another family out enjoying the fresh air!" *shrug*

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#63 of 108 Old 06-06-2010, 11:00 AM
 
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Yeah- my totally healthy almost-5 year old rides in a stroller on occasion. I have a bike trailer that converts to a stroller, and if we're going a long distance, both kids ride. Didn't realize that might be seen as weird.
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#64 of 108 Old 06-06-2010, 11:51 AM
 
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My 5 yo hops in all the time. She tires easily. I encourage her to walk, but sometimes if we're like at the zoo all day, I know she needs a longer rest. I certainly wouldn't think twice seeing one.

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#65 of 108 Old 06-06-2010, 12:44 PM
 
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I ran miles with my two kids in a jogging stroller until just last year--at the time we finally quit (they finally outgrew it and I went back to work) I had the stroller for just over five years. So my daughter was seven and my son was five coming into six when we finally quit. There were many reasons for this: I was a SAHM and they couldn't keep up on bikes for a six or seven miles stretch, they were small (dd, who is now 8 is just about 42 pounds, ds is just under 40 pounds at 6), they enjoyed it, and read books, and I couldn't think of any other alternative. At one point, I bought a bike and a double stroller and they hated it and I felt nervous trying to go at high rates of speed to get my heart muscle pumping (we live at the beach--everything is FLAT).

So, there's the truth. Frankly, I never thought twice about what people thought because I had been doing it for so many years and all the folks that we normally would see on our regular run would just say stuff like: one day, they'll be pushing you! I just took it as a friendly opener.

Last year they finally got bikes and can keep up. But of course, now I'm slow because I went back to work this year, gained a ton of weight and can barely keep up with myself! LOL!

So there's a complicated answer to what you want to know: do what works for you and who cares what anyone else thinks.
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#66 of 108 Old 06-06-2010, 05:21 PM
 
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Y'know what they need? A big, easy to push, cart like those cargo bikes, e.g. bakfiets, that can hold an adult and 5 grocery bags, or 3 kids and the laundry.
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#67 of 108 Old 06-06-2010, 05:35 PM
 
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If your child looked comfy, I'd probably ask you where you got your stroller, lol!

I'm a walker, and my 3 yo rides in the stroller on our walks to/from the park. He might make it there walking, but it would be a heckuva time getting him to walk back after running and playing for hours. I rest at the playground, and push his exhausted self back home I'm already wondering what I'm going to do if/when he outgrows his stroller.....
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#68 of 108 Old 06-06-2010, 06:32 PM
 
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Originally Posted by DoulaVallere View Post
Gotta say I'm kinda shocked at all the respondants who would immediately assume a 5yo kid in a stroller has a special need rather than just assuming it was a LONG walk and they were tired or that mom/dad wanted to actually make it to the destination and back in under 3 hours (which is what it would take us to walk the 1/2 mile to the grocery store if my son walked because he would stop to pick every.single.flower on the way). My completely typical 4.5yo LOVES to ride in the double jogger with his brother. Sometimes he wants to get out and walk and other times he just wants to ride and enjoy the scenery. I guess when I see an "older" kid in a stroller, my first thought isn't "Wonder what's wrong with him/her that he/she has to ride and not walk" but rather "Oh look, another family out enjoying the fresh air!" *shrug*
exactly!
We never get strange looks when we are out with the double jogger and 2 big dogs walking! A lot of people do come and say hi and how nice it is to see the whole family out.
DD#1 is almost 5. DD#2 is 6 months.
I get sick of people saying stuff and criticizing when they really have no idea of the circumstances and just because one way works for your family doesn't mean another way is not valid.
Why not just use what works for your family and not judge anyone else's choice?

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#69 of 108 Old 06-06-2010, 06:53 PM
 
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Originally Posted by DoulaVallere View Post
Gotta say I'm kinda shocked at all the respondants who would immediately assume a 5yo kid in a stroller has a special need rather than just assuming it was a LONG walk and they were tired or that mom/dad wanted to actually make it to the destination and back in under 3 hours (which is what it would take us to walk the 1/2 mile to the grocery store if my son walked because he would stop to pick every.single.flower on the way). My completely typical 4.5yo LOVES to ride in the double jogger with his brother. Sometimes he wants to get out and walk and other times he just wants to ride and enjoy the scenery. I guess when I see an "older" kid in a stroller, my first thought isn't "Wonder what's wrong with him/her that he/she has to ride and not walk" but rather "Oh look, another family out enjoying the fresh air!" *shrug*
sorry, i was asked my honest opinion and i gave it. i dont judge anyone, i work with people with dd
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#70 of 108 Old 06-06-2010, 06:56 PM
 
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: I'd probably think she was tired and wanted to sit for a while.
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#71 of 108 Old 06-06-2010, 07:02 PM
 
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ive never actually seen an older kid in a stroller, and we go to the zoo, parks and hiking all the time
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#72 of 108 Old 06-06-2010, 07:08 PM
 
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ive never actually seen an older kid in a stroller, and we go to the zoo, parks and hiking all the time
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I don't think of a five year old as an "older kid." I'm not saying it's wrong that you do, I just think it's interesting how different people have different perspectives. I think of a five year old as a kid still young enough to be exhausted at the end of a long day, especially if they've recently given up napping (no such luck with me, mine stopped as toddlers!), or are on the go all day with their parents. Keeping up with adult sized legs for a long period of time is exhausting - I know how I feel after trying to keep up with my foot taller than me husband, so I assume it's worse for kids.
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#73 of 108 Old 06-06-2010, 07:21 PM
 
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I'd probably think that your kid gets tired easily and that he/she was too heavy to carry comfortably. No big deal.

I am a 40 year old unschooling, belly dancing, artist-mama of one almost 8 year old. I just had brain surgery and blogging.jpg about it a bit because it's just so surreal.
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#74 of 108 Old 06-06-2010, 07:23 PM
 
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I wouldn't think anything of it. A 5 year old kid sitting in a stroller = not a big deal.
Our child isn't 5 yet, but even when she is if she still wants to use a stroller sometimes that's fine with me. I think I would actually prefer it. She tends to lag behind when she's walking and it's faster to push her in a stroller.

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#75 of 108 Old 06-06-2010, 07:53 PM
 
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I don't think it's a big deal. If I see a 5 year old in a stroller, I assume he or she has been walking or playing for some time and just has tired legs.

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#76 of 108 Old 06-06-2010, 08:31 PM
 
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Mine just turned 5. Sometimes he rides in the stroller, especially at big zoos, amusement parks, museums, etc. He walks when he wants and rides when he wants. So I wouldn't think anything about it.

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#77 of 108 Old 06-06-2010, 09:45 PM
 
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I don't think of a five year old as an "older kid." I'm not saying it's wrong that you do, I just think it's interesting how different people have different perspectives. I think of a five year old as a kid still young enough to be exhausted at the end of a long day, especially if they've recently given up napping (no such luck with me, mine stopped as toddlers!), or are on the go all day with their parents. Keeping up with adult sized legs for a long period of time is exhausting - I know how I feel after trying to keep up with my foot taller than me husband, so I assume it's worse for kids.
i guess that makes sense. i have weird kids that run constantly and have a seemingly endless supply of energy lol
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#78 of 108 Old 06-06-2010, 10:08 PM
 
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i guess it depends because around here i see lots of healthy looking kids in strollers. i hear "they dont want to walk" or "this way i dont have to watch them"

for me if i was going to the park i would use a wagon. no one thinks a thing about a older child using a wagon but may look weird when using a stroller
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#79 of 108 Old 06-06-2010, 10:58 PM
 
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for me if i was going to the park i would use a wagon. no one thinks a thing about a older child using a wagon but may look weird when using a stroller
Wagons don't fold up to stow away, and are much more difficult to maneuver (ime) on a long walk across roads and hills. And, of course, a wagon is another item to buy if you already have a perfectly useful stroller!
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#80 of 108 Old 06-06-2010, 11:08 PM
 
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I don't know. We used to live in a place where we saw a lot of bored-looking older kids in strollers who seemed to be there purely for the parents' convenience. It bugged me because it was part of a larger culture of restrictive and not-health-conscious parenting. My gut reaction was to let the kid walk! I had a walking 1-year-old at the time, and she wasn't happy in the stroller, so I could only imagine that a lot of those older kids would have rather been on a longer leash, so to speak.

However I always tried to make allowances for the fact that some of those kids might have had health issues or disabilities that weren't obvious. It all depends on context.
I agree with this. I often see older kids in small umbrella strollers that aren't meant to hold a child their size. I will admit that my initial thoughts are not always the best, but I do make a conscious effort to understand that those parents are probably just doing the best they can with a difficult situation. Obviously I don't know their whole story. Then I feel bad. I recognize that this is a fault of mine, and I would never let it affect the way I deal with those parents or children. It's something I'm working on.

Hope I don't get flamed. I wanted to be honest.

I agree with the pp that said a properly fitted stroller would make all the difference in the world. Something about a too-small umbrella stroller that the kid is knees-to-chin in just puts me off.

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#81 of 108 Old 06-06-2010, 11:18 PM
 
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If I saw a 5yo in a stroller I would assume they had special needs.
Me too. I couldn't keep my kids in a stroller past the age of two... they wanted to walk/run everywhere.
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#82 of 108 Old 06-07-2010, 12:30 AM
 
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If I noticed at all, I would think the kid was tired or not in the mood to walk. This happens frequently with my older ds. It really is not a big deal.

OP, I am sorry about your dd's health issues.

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#83 of 108 Old 06-08-2010, 04:42 PM
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Gotta say I'm kinda shocked at all the respondants who would immediately assume a 5yo kid in a stroller has a special need rather than just assuming it was a LONG walk and they were tired or that mom/dad wanted to actually make it to the destination and back in under 3 hours (which is what it would take us to walk the 1/2 mile to the grocery store if my son walked because he would stop to pick every.single.flower on the way). My completely typical 4.5yo LOVES to ride in the double jogger with his brother. Sometimes he wants to get out and walk and other times he just wants to ride and enjoy the scenery. I guess when I see an "older" kid in a stroller, my first thought isn't "Wonder what's wrong with him/her that he/she has to ride and not walk" but rather "Oh look, another family out enjoying the fresh air!" *shrug*
Both my kids were able to walk several miles a day at 4, and due to my back problems, I can't walk any further than that anyways. I guess I just assume a typical 4 yr. old can walk at least a mile or two at a time and most people don't walk more than that.
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#84 of 108 Old 06-08-2010, 04:47 PM
 
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All I know is that when I go to Disney which is pretty often, my 6 1/2 year old sits his behind in the rented double stroller because that way we avoid the whining, 8-10 hours at a park is a lot and anything to make it easier on ourself works for us.

I don't think its a big deal to have older kids in the stroller, it doesn't mean the child can't walk or run around, it probably doesn't mean anything.
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#85 of 108 Old 06-10-2010, 12:01 AM
 
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Hmmm... well I would consider saying something supportive to the mother because I know other people can be rude. I don't know what exactly... lucky kid? smart mama?

I have a kid who napped daily until she was almost 6. If she had something particularly active, like her swim class, she fell asleep after. If I didn't have the stroller, I would have an asleep 2 year old in a carrier and an asleep 5 year old I had to wake to get off the bus/subway. I have done that, but honestly, I took the stroller until she stopped napping.

I didn't get very many comments, and when I did, they were more along the lines of how lucky I was that she napped for such a long time. Or comments from people we knew teasing her "you're too big for the stroller!" which I felt okay replying that "she's too big for me to carry when she falls asleep!" She walks long distances now, including a 12 mile hike last year, so it has nothing to do with walking ability here.

I don't think my second will nap nearly that long, and hence probably won't have the stroller as long either.

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#86 of 108 Old 06-10-2010, 04:26 AM
 
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I see every day plenty of kids that size chilling in strollers either they are tired or sleepy or sleeping in them and I just think that their parents just do what works for them and that is entirely their thing.

We also tag along stroller for our almost 5 dd when we are going on outings where there will be lot of walking or carrying some bags and stroller just doubles as our home away from home.. as a camel.. as a bead without breakfast ..

I say, why not? why in Earth would you give up a convenience when you have a need? and who cares what people are thinking.. the thing is that you can think back and they don't really are that concerned what do you think about them anyways right?

I see sometimes much much much older kids in strollers like 7 or 8 years old and the strollers are of special construction and although kids do look normal I sens some special need as there is so many different kinds of deseases that would cause problem with motor skills that do not exhibit any signs while chid is sitting in the stroller so this is nothing to trouble the parent of kids who are sick.

They have enough to worry aobut and to focus on the beloved cargo and I don't think that anyone will even dare to think otherwise and those who do they are not worth of your thought.
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#87 of 108 Old 06-10-2010, 04:38 PM
 
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Before I had a child, I would wonder what the heck the mother/caregiver was thinking.

Now that I have a child (a special needs child that doesn't look like he has special needs), I would think the mom/caregiver was smart. Honestly, there are many times I wish I had a stroller that ds (7) would fit in.

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#88 of 108 Old 06-10-2010, 11:54 PM
 
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The only time I see kids over around 3yrs old in strollers is at theme parks. Where, I understand why they would be in a stroller (I do think its a little silly when people rent one for their 7-10yr old though)

So if I did see a 4+yr old kid in a stroller someplace other than a 'lot of walking' place, I would probably think there was some kind of special needs involved.

The ONLY reason we own a stroller is for theme parks, otherwise I would have never bought one. I wore ds until he could walk, and then only wore him for longer walks, and by the time he was 2, he walks everywhere - including a day at the zoo, the mall, walks around our block (which is a full mile around) etc.

Even at disney, he only sits in the stroller at the end of the day, or uses it as a chair while waiting for something, he walks the majority of the day. Its a good 'stuff' holder though!
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#89 of 108 Old 06-11-2010, 12:07 AM
 
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Unless the child was screaming to get out or otherwise obviously didn't want to be there or totally didn't fit, I would probably not even notice.
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#90 of 108 Old 06-11-2010, 12:22 AM
 
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There was one time where I thought it was pretty ridiculous that an older child was in a stroller, but I don't remember the age or WHY I thought that... I can only remember that the stroller was much to small. I know there were other details though because normally I try very hard to abstain from judgments like that. Of course, I could have been totally off base and was still missing something. Obviously it didn't really matter though because I had completely forgotten til I saw this and I still can't really remember!

Normally, I don't care about who is in a stroller though. Like PP, I wish I could be in a stroller! slightly different, but I was just telling my daughter today how much I'd love to be carried around the way I was carrying her at the mall when she decided she was done with the stroller. Man... it would be nice... Either way, other than that one instance that I can't really remember anyway, I don't even notice the age of kids in strollers... I just see cute kids that I can't help but smile at
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