Mornings - Does your kids get up before you? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 40 Old 06-09-2010, 01:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I was talking to my husband a while ago, and realized I have really no clue if what "we do" is a normal thing or not!

Who wakes up first? Aside from Spouses going to work

Do you get up before the kids? Or do the kids get up before you do?

If the kids wake up before you, what do they do?

Come lay with you? Play? Watch TV?

At what age do you think its "ok" for a child to be up and around the house "by him/her-self"

My youngest sleeps in his crib next to my bed and he usually wakes up the earliest, I give him his morning bottle and when he is done we both usually doze off again until the girls 4 and 5 years old wake me up. Either they are snuggling up with me, wants to watch NickJR or Sprout or wants a drink.
However, some mornings I wake up and they have quite obviously been up for a bit! They will be drawing, or laying puzzles, playing with their dolls or playing dress up with my clean laundry "chuckle"... They also know where to find a morning snack if they want one, we have a "breakfast to go drawer" with stuff for mornings when time is of essence.

The days they obviously have been up before me and little man, I feel like such a bad parent... That I am not up and keeping an eye on them! Granted, our house is just about as child proof as it can get, they would be hard pressed to find something that could be dangerous, but we are all human, I am sure I forget things out from time to time...

So please, feedback!
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#2 of 40 Old 06-09-2010, 03:04 AM
 
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DS1, DS2 and I all sleep in the same bed. Usually DS2 is the first to wake up. He usually plays in the bedroom until I can drag myself out of bed. He normally wakes up DS1 but not always and sometimes DS1 will sleep while DS2 and I get up.

Occassionally they will get up and play before I get up. I don't mind if 4yo DS1 is out in the living room by himself but I don't like 2yo DS2 getting up by himself. I don't mind if they're both up and playing in the living room before I am. In saying that though our house is tiny so I can hear everything they're doing and know the sound of something they shouldn't be getting in to. DS1 will usually turn on the telly and get them both something to eat but really that doesn't happen much anymore because we need to get up and ready for kindy, so it only happens when they're up really early (too early for Mama!!).

It's complicated.
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#3 of 40 Old 06-09-2010, 03:10 AM
 
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Zayla goes to bed at 10 with me. And she needs a lot more sleep than I do, so she never wakes up first. Mornings are when I get my "me" time. The few times that she woke up first she just plays toys or watches tv while I doze. She's kind of needy though, I don't have to worry about her going too far or getting into trouble really.

I always used to get up before everyone else as a kid. As young as three I was waking up and feeding myself, playing with toys, watching tv, even going outside to play. I was a pretty responsible kid, but I can remember doing some things that I wouldn't want my kid doing in the morning with out me (climbing high shelves like a monkey to get certain food, etc).

Maybe I'm just over protective though.

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#4 of 40 Old 06-09-2010, 08:21 AM
 
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My DS1 is a ridiculously-early riser, and has been for a couple of years now. When he was younger and an only child, he'd come and lay in bed with us starting around 5 AM, and we'd turn on cartoons or PBS for him. When DS2 arrived (DS1 was almost 4 1/2), that was no longer an option -- DS2 has been sleeping in with us -- so DS1 came up with a new routine. If he was up at 5 AM, he would either play quietly(ish) in his room, color or something like that, or we'd have a CD-ROM in the computer all ready to go for him (he just needs to click one of the icons on the desktop, they're all right in the middle where he can find them).

We have a gate at the top of the stairs and for a long time that was enough to keep him in, but when he figured out how to open it he'd start going downstairs as well. Now we'll wake up and find that he's been in the basement playroom for an hour building with Legos, or that he's turned on the living room TV. He doesn't typically get food for himself, but we do have a low pantry with all kinds of granola bars and healthy snacks, and a fruit bowl where he can reach on the counter.

There's just no way we can be up any earlier to supervise him - by the time DH gets home from work, we do the whole bedtime routine, etc. we have about enough time to watch one tv show together for some "us time" before bed. I won't give that up just so I can get up at the crack of dawn! If DS1 is up by 5-5:30, the rest of us are normally up between 6:30-7. And there's no way to "make" him sleep longer, we've tried blackout curtains and the whole 9 yards -- apart from actually strapping him in bed he WILL be awake at that time.

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#5 of 40 Old 06-09-2010, 09:00 AM
 
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DS1 usually is the instigator in getting up and out of bed... though we've started attempting to send him off toplay before we get up the last few wks... very rarely am I up before the boys, though dh will occasionally get up w/ ds1 before I get up w/ ds2 if he doesnt' have to be anywhere first thing...
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#6 of 40 Old 06-09-2010, 09:55 AM
 
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My DD wakes up before me, and will come wake me up to feed her / turn on the TV. Sometimes she plays by herself before waking us up, but generally doesn't get into anything as our home is childproofed fairly well. Not in a "oh my goodness she's going to kill herself on that" kind of way, but more like "instead of having to tell a toddler NO 12,000 times a day, I'll just put this up." I leave snacks out before I go to bed if I know I won't get too much sleep, and I often turn the TV to PBS or Nick Jr. at night as well.

DD did find a Sharpie in the living room one morning ... but no harm, no foul, right???

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#7 of 40 Old 06-09-2010, 10:10 AM
 
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If dh or I don't have to go to work, the kids are usually up first. When we do go to work, we're up by 5:30 or 6, so days when we don't go, we sleep in. The kids are up at 7:30 every morning unless, again, we're going to work. But they usually go upstairs and watch tv or play and have some breakfast.
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#8 of 40 Old 06-09-2010, 10:21 AM
 
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On a day without work, the order is typically: DS, DH, Me, DD

On workdays, DH gets up early and is out the door before anyone else is up. Then DS, then me, then DD. DS is usually up for an hour before me. Some days, DD will be up with him.

When he was 4, we showed him a clock and told him he couldn't go downstairs unless the first number was a 6. And we told DD, who was an early riser at that time, that she couldn't go downstairs unless DS was already there. After 6:00, though, they were welcome to go downstairs. However, they weren't allowed to eat anything until we woke up (DD is diabetic.)

So, for us, 4 was fine. They knew how to operate the tv, get out their own toys, and we had alarms on the doors so we knew they weren't leaving

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#9 of 40 Old 06-09-2010, 10:34 AM
 
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We all get up about the same time (aside from my dh, of course) but I can safely say I am never the first out of bed. If I get up, the baby gets up, and I hate to wake her up because she's generally very grumpy if I do. Usually, the baby and I get out of bed first and my 3yo follows soon, then my 7yo, then my 5yo, but it's almost always less than 20 minutes between the first waker-upper and the last. Sometimes my older two get up first, and if they do they go out into the living room and watch tv or something, I have no problem with this and I think it's great!
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#10 of 40 Old 06-09-2010, 10:44 AM
 
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It varies here. Usually I am up before the kids, but not always.

My kids are teens. I've never been a morning person, although when I am up early, I love it. I have had (lack of) sleep issues for a very long time, made worse during pregnancies and managing infants/toddlers who didn't sleep through the nights. Sometimes I manage only a couple of hours of sleep in a night.

Somedays, they are both out of bed before me. They can manage breakfast, make their lunches for school, and get out the door on their own. It happens once a week or so. Usually, they will come say good morning and good-bye before they go. Then I'll get out of bed and get my coffee and get started on the day. For some reason, after a bad night, getting up alone in a quiet house is easier.
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#11 of 40 Old 06-09-2010, 12:04 PM
 
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Mine wake up before me. They usually have a snack and watch a little tv . . . sometimes they start playing together or my older one goes on facebook/farmville. Every once in awhile (like this morning) she stays in her room and organizes things

I think between 2-3, Rylie figured out that if she got up and just went into the living room on her own, she might find snacks left over from the previous night . . . so she stopped waking us and I would usually hear her and catch her eating something her dad or I had left out. Sneaky little kid! When my son was around the same age, he started getting up and hanging out with her instead of waking me. I always HEAR them, but it's nice to not have to get out of bed at 6am!

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#12 of 40 Old 06-09-2010, 12:11 PM
 
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I wish! I am trying to teach DS (age 3) to play on his own when he wakes up, but no success so far. Every now and then, he'll watch a video while I take a nap, if I am really lucky.
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#13 of 40 Old 06-09-2010, 12:13 PM
 
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On a work day it goes this way :

Me, DD, DH

On a weekend day it goes this way: DD, DH, ME

We like to lounge in bed in the morning on weekends, DD gets up and has a snack and plays with toys or watches a movie on weekend mornings.

DD wakes up pretty consistently between 6:00 and 6:30 no matter what time she goes to bed.

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#14 of 40 Old 06-09-2010, 12:27 PM
 
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Our older kids (dd, 5 and ds,3) are usually the first ones up. They just get up and play or color in the living room. There is a lock on the pantry (ds is now gluten free and we still have a bunch of gluten snacks in there) but they'll open up the fridge and get a string cheese or an apple or something. If it's during the week, dh will be up within 30 minutes or so and get them breakfast. I get up either when dh goes to work or when the baby wakes up, whichever comes first.

I stopped getting up with dd when she was about 2.5 or 3 and with ds around 18 months or so, maybe a little earlier (he's way more independant than dd anyway, but she also was a big help with him, getting him a snack and playing with him.)

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#15 of 40 Old 06-09-2010, 12:27 PM
 
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I used to get up before or with dd when we had to get up early, but now that I am working from home my dd is the one who is up first. She usually plays and once in a while tries to get me up for about half an hour then I make myself get up.
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#16 of 40 Old 06-09-2010, 01:28 PM
 
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Well, DH and I get up around 5:45. He goes off to work after a while and I get to shower, do a load of laundry, make lunches, prepare breakfast, read a book and drink a cup of coffee in peace and quiet.
These days I wake the kids up at 8. The twins (6) are great, they hop up with only mild grumbling and head downstairs to breakfast. But my 7 y/o DS? Man oh man somedays I think he's actually going to hiss, spit and bite me when I try to get him up! He is probably the most anti-morning person I've ever met! On days off he'll easily sleep until 9:30 -10:00.

They seem to get up earlier on weekends though (go figure) around 7-7:30. I'm up by 8 at the latest though.
They fix themselves cereal and take it to the upstairs tv room (which is usually off limits for food but what the hey?) where they lounge all over the place watching cartoons.
Sometimes they get dressed and go outside if there's something interesting out there like a bird nest or the creek happens to be running.
When they were little they did the same - just not the cereal or the outdoor stuff, but they'd watch tv. (or raid our junk food cupboard - which now they seem to have outgrown thank goodness)

When we lived on our boat my now 7 year old, who was 5 at the time used to have us set an alarm clock for him each night for 6:30am. It would go off, he'd roll out of his bunk, get dressed, fasten his lifevest and go out on deck to do some fishing. He'd sit on the aft deck, right above our cabin so we could hear him and if he needed us he'd just call down. He'd be out there singing, muttering, calling out "morning!" to people going by in dinghys, even the odd curse if his line tangled, as he casted and reeled over and over. We used to call him the old man.
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#17 of 40 Old 06-09-2010, 01:49 PM
 
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I am so impressed with all the 4 and 5 yo's who are content to hang out while their parents are still in bed. My dds (almost 5 yo's) would have none of that. If they're out of their rooms they want company -- preferably mine, but dh will do. We finally gave them a time at which they can "get up" (6:30). They're usually awake a little (or a lot) earlier than that and will come out for potty and a hug but then must go back in their rooms until 6:30. I am almost always up before them so I can be showered and dressed and have breakfast started before the 6:30 mark.
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#18 of 40 Old 06-09-2010, 01:56 PM
 
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My oldest will often sit in bed and read until he gets bored. He won't go downstairs by himself yet, and there has been many times on Saturday morning where I offered to trade my kingdom for my child who would go downstairs and turn on his shark DVD for another half hour.

My youngest is still in a crib, at least for a few more weeks. He wakes up slowly, but when he's ready to go, he'll start "Mommy! Daddy! Where are you?" "Mommy! Daddy! Hellooooooooo?" as we peel ourselves off the bed.

Weekdays I'm always waking them up for school. Figures.

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#19 of 40 Old 06-09-2010, 02:03 PM
 
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Mine are 5 1/2, 3, and 3.

DD2 gets up with DH, at an unholy hour. When he leaves (way too early for me to be up) he sends her back into the kids' room, where she hangs out until the other two wake up, and they all hang out in their room together until I get up. I get up at the same time every day, 7:15, and nothing budges me earlier except a real actual emergency. My kids have learned this, by trial and error and by me repeatedly insisting, "If somebody is sick, or hurt, or in bad trouble, you come find me. Otherwise, leave me be." They are not allowed into the cellar or the kitchen until I get up, and DH enforces this by latching the cellar and kitchen doors shut when he leaves. He also locks the front door after he goes, and leaves my bedroom door open.

I generally am mostly awake during most of that time, sort of dimly aware of what's going on, and I come fully awake very quickly when something is actually wrong. But most days they just hang out and play, with DD1 keeping an eye on things for me. I think I wouldn't dare let them be so independent, except for the fact that DD1 is so hyper-responsible.

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#20 of 40 Old 06-09-2010, 02:10 PM
 
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My older kids (6 & 7) get up before me or DH on non school days. Usually, although DH is an early riser. Since summer vacation they've been letting me and their little (cosleeping) brother sleep for about an hour after they get up. They are perfectly fine getting cereal or a bagel. They watch TV or play. We have a small house though. (although my oldest DD has been shutting my door so I can sleep longer. What a thoughtful kid)
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#21 of 40 Old 06-09-2010, 02:19 PM
 
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My 7 yo often gets up before me; he plays on the computer or wii. My 9 yo will sleep in until noon if no one wakes her (by being loud). My 5 and 3 yo, they tend to wake up between 9:30-10:00, which is usually about when I will get up, too. Well, for summer/weekends/days-off. The 5 yo would be fine with the 7 yo, b/c they just hang out and do something together - but the 3 yo I do worry about at times, so unless my 9 yo DD is up to keep an eye on him, I tend to get up when he is up, just to be safe. I am not a sound sleeper, though, so I don't really even fall back asleep-asleep once the 7 yo is up - I can hear him and am lightly sleeping, if that makes sense.

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#22 of 40 Old 06-09-2010, 02:45 PM
 
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ds1 (4 years old) will generally get up (around 7 or 7:30 a.m.) before ds2 and i do (around 8:30 a.m.) he putters around in his room playing or singing or goes downstairs and watches TV if daddy has put it on for him (daddy gets up for work earlier than everyone else) or he plays at the dining room table. he can also come into my room if ds2 is awake and watch TV with him or look at books or play with the toys that are in there. he knows not to go outside and that i don't like him to eat if he isn't supervised. he will start bugging me to get up when he gets hungry. he's a pretty easy going and independent (i've always encouraged it) kid. he used to play in his room when he was younger (3 and under) for such a long time (up to an hour) while i slept in (i had on a monitor.) he puts himself to bed every day for naptime as well. i read him stories downstairs and then up he goes to bed on his own.

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#23 of 40 Old 06-09-2010, 04:10 PM
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My 4.5 year old calls me when she wakes up. If I'm still in bed and I answer her then go into her room. She was co-sleeping with us until right after turning 4. My house is really childproof but I don't think I'd be comfortable with her up alone. She obviously isn't either since she calls us instead of getting out of bed.
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#24 of 40 Old 06-09-2010, 04:15 PM
 
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My two and four year old get up before us (around 7). They take the opportunity to play on the computer. Around 9 they come into the bedroom and start asking for breakfast which is when we get up.
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#25 of 40 Old 06-09-2010, 04:15 PM
 
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(although my oldest DD has been shutting my door so I can sleep longer. What a thoughtful kid)
awww very thoughtful indeed!

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#26 of 40 Old 06-09-2010, 04:30 PM
 
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DD gets up at 6am. We've been able to push her back by changing her bed time, but she is an early bird.

If she's fussing, I go in, fix whatever the problem is and tell her it's still time to sleep. She has toys and books to play with and has been good about entertaining herself.

Then she comes into bed with me for a little bit and we go downstairs for bfast.

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#27 of 40 Old 06-09-2010, 09:48 PM
 
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DH and I get up reluctantly every morning when DD and DS wake us up. They share a bedroom, so the first one awake tends to wake the other one up.

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#28 of 40 Old 06-09-2010, 10:35 PM
 
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We "trained" DSD at the beginning of last school year to rise with an alarm that we've set for her. She is almost 7. This occurred at the same time as her moving from co-sleeping with us to her own bed, and was really natural. She was used to getting up with an alarm anyway... ours.

She now knows that when her alarm goes off (7:30 on week days, 8 on weekends... we're not monsters!) she can leave her room and come wake us up. Sometimes she'll hop in with her dad on week days and go back to bed for a while (I've already gone to work) or both of us on weekends. Some weekends she'll decide we're being boring and will go back to her room to read books or play until we're ready to get up... one weekend we found ourselves sleeping until 10am!! She's never gone anywhere other than her own room or our room, and is pretty much past the age where she'd get into anything anyway I guess... or just never had that personality. I'm guessing, should she have ever WANTED to hang out anywhere other than the two bedrooms, we would have been fine with it at ANY age... it just never came up.

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#29 of 40 Old 06-09-2010, 11:00 PM
 
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When we lived on our boat my now 7 year old, who was 5 at the time used to have us set an alarm clock for him each night for 6:30am. It would go off, he'd roll out of his bunk, get dressed, fasten his lifevest and go out on deck to do some fishing. He'd sit on the aft deck, right above our cabin so we could hear him and if he needed us he'd just call down. He'd be out there singing, muttering, calling out "morning!" to people going by in dinghys, even the odd curse if his line tangled, as he casted and reeled over and over. We used to call him the old man.
Well now THAT is the cutest thing I've ever heard! Cursing and all!


My kids are almost 10 (!!!!!) and 7. During the week it is I who gets up first, and then I wake Ds#1 pretty easily, then my mini-me Ds#2, takes a bit of coaxing to get out of his bed. ( He's a deep sleeper/they share a room)
Then I turn PBS on and go make breakfast.

Then I coax everyone into high gear and we get dressed, brushed and out the door.

The weekends: Both boys get up whenever ( I actually have no idea, maybe somewhere between 7 and 9...) and I think Ds #1 is actually up before #2 most weekend mornings. They each get their own breakfast and watch cartoons and sometimes play elaborate games that involve all of their stuffed animals and couch cushions. LMAO... Then Dh rolls out of bed next and I follow in time to make lunch.

Mom to three boys 7/7/00 fencing.gif 11/20/02 and 10/29/2011 luxlove.gif

 

Writing at: http://paisleymama.blogspot.com/ and other places! 

 

 
 
 

Mountaingirl79 is offline  
#30 of 40 Old 06-10-2010, 12:48 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am SO thankful for all your replies! I have really have felt like such an awful mom that I some times find they have been awake before me! I am gonna stop feeling like that, and maybe, I can even start enjoying the few breaks they do give me some mornings!

Just like many of you have said, I think even when I have slept "through" them getting up, I am not really hard asleep, I can always remember hearing them in my subconsious mind. So far, the "worst" that has happened is them deciding to do dishes , I always do the dishes after dinner, but there was some cups in the sink from bedtime snack, and they had "washed" them so good the whole floor was clean!
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