Witnessed a mom spank/beat her son today - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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#31 of 35 Old 06-15-2010, 02:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy View Post
But I just can't imagine standing by doing nothing. To me that is so much more than 'disagreeing with parenting choices' -- I mean, if we saw a 25-year-old woman being hit by her boyfriend, we'd step in & stop them, right? And legally that would be acceptable? But kids just have to suffer, because it's their PARENTS hitting them, so that makes it OK? Is there a point where it IS acceptable to intervene?

Obviously I don't want to be charged with kidnapping or something (and in any case, I'm just talking about pulling the kid away from their parent 'til the parent calms down, not walking out of the store with them or something)... but I would feel morally obliged to step in... this is a hard one for me, it's not like any other 'parenting choice'...
I personally wouldn't step in if a man is beating his girlfriend. I know a guy who did intervene when this happened and he hit the guy. Guess who went to jail? The guy trying to help the poor woman who defended her man when the police arrived. I also would not step into a violent fight. I would call the police however.

I also would never remove a child from a parent even if I think what they are doing is blatantly wrong and would not recommend any parent remove a child. I would never have the gall to do this and think it would be highly inappropriate for me or any other person. As another poster said, the story could be completely different from what you think you are seeing.

I feel sorry for anyone who would try to remove their child from me in any situation.
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#32 of 35 Old 06-15-2010, 02:37 PM
 
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OK but there's a difference between a spanking and a beating, and my impression of what OP described is that it crossed that line. I'm not talking about intervening when a parent gives a tap or two to the kid's bum, I vehemently disagree with it but I wouldn't even think of stepping in. I'm talking about when it crosses that line between a spanking and a beating... Maybe I'm not making sense. Maybe I'm crazy. I just couldn't stand by & watch ANYONE get beat... kid or adult, woman, man, etc... And yes I was spanked and yes I was in a deadly abusive relationship... But I guess I'm out of line here...

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#33 of 35 Old 06-15-2010, 02:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy View Post
OK but there's a difference between a spanking and a beating, and my impression of what OP described is that it crossed that line. I'm not talking about intervening when a parent gives a tap or two to the kid's bum, I vehemently disagree with it but I wouldn't even think of stepping in. I'm talking about when it crosses that line between a spanking and a beating... Maybe I'm not making sense. Maybe I'm crazy. I just couldn't stand by & watch ANYONE get beat... kid or adult, woman, man, etc... And yes I was spanked and yes I was in a deadly abusive relationship... But I guess I'm out of line here...
Crunchy, you're totally making sense. I just personally don't think removing a child from the parent is a good move. I think there are ways to help a child and/or an an abused woman. Your intentions are obviously good but could be problematic.
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#34 of 35 Old 06-15-2010, 03:38 PM
 
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Crunchy, you're totally making sense. I just personally don't think removing a child from the parent is a good move. I think there are ways to help a child and/or an an abused woman. Your intentions are obviously good but could be problematic.
OK so maybe I should rephrase what I was trying to ask -- WHAT is the best way to intervene?

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#35 of 35 Old 06-15-2010, 03:41 PM
 
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OK so maybe I should rephrase what I was trying to ask -- WHAT is the best way to intervene?
In the case of the OP I think she handled it well. I would say handle the parent the same way you would want them to handle the child. Like, reaffirm feelings, offer a suggestion, and then leave it. (I know you wouldn't "leave it" with a kid but some things have to be different) Would I tell an angry parent that they shouldn't spank their child because it's abusive? Hell no. Making an accusation to and angry person will NOT get you anywhere.

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