My husband and I have different parenting styles, too. It can be very frustrating for both parents! I think he is way too autoritarian, he thinks I am a complete push-over.
We tried books and books on CD, too. The books layed around and only got read by me, and just as in your case, the first CD in the set was listened to, declared helpful, and then the rest just sat.
I ended up signing us up for a Love and Logic parenting class through our school district. Best thing I ever did. I'll be honest - I went into it thinking he needed to change everything he did, and I was perfect.
We both came out of it very different parents. We both still fall back on the parenting 'skills' (or lack there-of
) that we had before, but now we have a handful of techniques in common, and that makes all the difference. If one of us takes charge of a situation and uses a technique we learned in the class, the other can say, "Ohhhhh, I see where he/she is going with that..." - it makes it easier to trust that the other parent is handling the situation. Love and Logic gets mixed reviews around here, but it is all about boundary setting and treating children with respect, so it sounds like it might be an option for you. And maybe your husband would find a class easier to keep up with than a book.