would you be upset? uninvited from BD party after exposure to chicken pox - Page 7 - Mothering Forums
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#181 of 185 Old 07-13-2010, 12:24 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Jennifer3141 View Post
I wouldn't be offended in the least. Just as it was YOUR choice to expose your kids to CP at this time, it's HER choice not to.

I see no reason to be upset. It's simply natural consequences.
I agree with this. It isn't personal; the hosting mom doesn't want to be responsible for making that call for all her guests. And if I was her guest, I'd be VERY appreciative of that. I took my dd to a sleepover where the mom said another invited child had pink eye, the mom had called to ask if she could still come, and the host mom was asking moms as they dropped off if it was ok. I said not with me. If the infected child was coming, mine couldn't stay. Infected child didn't come. It sucks to miss a party, but I don't want pink eye running through my house. Or lice. Or chicken pox. Or the flu. A cold I am fine with and don't bat an eye except when my dear friend was in end stage cancer and I couldn't have taken her to her doctor appts if we were sick.

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Originally Posted by DragonflyBlue View Post
Choosing to expose your children to illness/disease means that you have to miss out on things like birthday parties and such. I think it's pretty crappy when parents decide what is okay for other kids to be exposed to.
Exactly. It is the parent's choice to knowingly expose, and I actually understand doing it although I personally didn't. But with that choice comes consequences - one of which is missing out on stuff for a couple weeks.

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Originally Posted by rejoiceinlife View Post
Well I do know this: next time I expose my children to something, I will NOT be telling ANYONE.
That is really hard to accept. Trying to express myself without violating the user agreement.... I hope you and I live far apart. I would not be friends with someone who had that attitude and lack of respect for my family's health, not to mention our ability to see the kids' 85 year old gramma with dementia or several friends with cancer. Taking a couple weeks of "it's no big deal; it's just CP" for us may mean my family doesn't see some of their loved ones while they are still here and/or still remember us.

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Originally Posted by number572 View Post
As far as chicken pox, I won't be vax'ing unless my kids don't get it naturally before age 11-12ish, and would be really disappointed in someone if they exposed my kids knowingly without asking me first. Its one thing to walk into an illness accidently, but quite another if the illness is brought knowingly by a sneaky person.
I also wait til my kids are 12 then vax if they don't get them naturally, though we don't actively seek it out. Dd1 got CP (never did find out how - no one else had them that we'd heard of) when she was 2. It was a pretty easy case, and back then she was an only child and wasn't in school and I was a SAHM. But some cases (as someone mentioned on this thread already) are really tough. Don't you DARE choose that for me!
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#182 of 185 Old 07-13-2010, 11:40 AM
 
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OP - Please condsider carefully other people's situations. I hope you aren't serious about not telling people when you are possible contagious with a a somewhat serious illness. You really can't know others' personal situations, and it would have been really devastating for my older shildren to be exposed to CP right before their sister was born.
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#183 of 185 Old 07-13-2010, 11:55 AM
 
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When I exposed my kids to chicken pox, I just heard that it was "up to" two weeks for the pox to show up. So, I checked every day for pox. On day 6, two of my kids had flat red spots all over their abdomen that went away in 24hours. Then it was another 8 days before the blisters showed up. So, I don't know about contagious, but it was definitely in there on day 6.

We warned everyone that was around the kids. I'm always afraid that my kids will somehow hurt old people. They can't run in certain places because "you'll knock over an old person and break their hip." Even the kids that came into my yard to play with mine got asked if they'd have the vaccine or the illness and if not, they had to ask their parents if it was ok.

Also, having 4 children, I'm VERY careful about contracting illnesses. Not so much with runny nose type things, but coughs, tummy aches, etc. I want warnings if anyone has been sick in the house for the previous week. One illness running through my house can keep us cooped up for over a month.

So, for the other parents, I think it was considerate of her to uninvite you, although the text did sound very impersonal. I don't think you said if she was a close friend or not. If you're texting each other, I'd think it's a fairly close friend.

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#184 of 185 Old 07-15-2010, 11:13 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MommatoAandA View Post
Mekat- I'm sorry for what you are going through.

I wanted to add, I did not mean to sound harsh about the immunocompromised, I work with them daily. I was just saying kids at this party could be exposed to something and the parent not even know it yet. My daughter currently has Step throat and I still have to go to work, even though I have made my employer aware of the situation. She played with her cousins and friends at a BBQ too last weekend and a few of them are no running fevers. I had NO idea until Saturday night when she had a fever that something was going on. Point is, having an immunocompromised loved one is frustrating and very hard, but they could be exposed to a lot of things a lot of places.

I think the OP is hurt. I do think there was a better way for her friend to uninvite her, like verbally, on the phone. I think it just sucks to have people run in every direction when they see you and your kids.
No, I think the point it intentional exposure. Of course illnesses are floating around out there, but we are talking about knowing you (or your kid) is sick (or could be) and bringing your illness to a party full of kids.
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#185 of 185 Old 07-16-2010, 12:05 AM
 
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I would not be offended at all.
OTOH, I might be a bit embarassed for not uninviting my child first.
And that whole bit about next time not telling anyone when you expose your child to illness- wow. Just wow. I never realized that some people could be THAT inconsiderate. And a parent for that matter. We all know how worrisome it is to have your baby be sick. To knowingly expose another family to an illness is just low.
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