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#31 of 51 Old 07-14-2010, 09:12 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
Whoo-Hoo...we were due for a new harness thread!
Yea, it's been awhile, hasn't it?

My take: When it comes to any parenting product, it's not the use that's inherently bad, but the misuse.

A playpen as a safe place to plunk a kid down while you clean up broken glass? Good use. A playpen for the kid to cry it out when s/he gets on your nerves? Bad use. A harness to keep a child near you in a crowded place while still giving him/her a little freedom of movement? Good thing. A harness to yank on as a punishment for an unruly kid? Bad thing.

Be a good parent, and you'll make good use of parenting products.

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#32 of 51 Old 07-14-2010, 09:20 PM
 
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Be a good parent, and you'll make good use of parenting products.

Well said.

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#33 of 51 Old 07-14-2010, 09:46 PM
 
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Yeah, my ds1 wasn't a runner... he had his moments where we talked about it but we never did get one. DS2 isnt' walking yet, but if he ends up being a real runner, I can absolutely 100% see us getting and using one. Their tools as others have said... not good or bad, just tools
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#34 of 51 Old 07-14-2010, 09:48 PM
 
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I make a point of smiling at parents who have their kids in a harness, to hopefully offset the glares they get, LOL.

I had a puppy backpack for DS and used it a handful of times - the airport, the zoo, Disneyland. I don't think I got any angry stares, but it wouldn't have made a difference if I had. The puppy had been in storage for a couple of years, and DS found it recently. The "leash" part of it is off (not sure where it went) but DS (5 years old) wore the backpack all over the house for a few days. He still thinks it's a neat toy!

I won't hesitate to use it with DD (if I can find the leash!) if I feel it's necessary.

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#35 of 51 Old 07-14-2010, 11:46 PM
 
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I think they're wonderful. And particularly useful at airports.
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#36 of 51 Old 07-15-2010, 12:12 AM
 
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DS has a regular old harness that doesn't look like anything fun, but he loves it anyway. The other day he threw a fit because he wanted to bring it for a quick run up to the corner store. So yeah, I have even used it when there is no apparent reason.

I know why he likes it too. He gets to walk, he gets to explore, and he doesn't have to hold my hand or sit in the stroller or be carried everywhere. The first time we put it on him, he picked at the harness, turned around stared at the leash and slowly took steps away from me to see how far it would go before finally tugging on it and saying "We go now!"

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#37 of 51 Old 07-15-2010, 12:49 AM
 
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I think they're a good compromise - especially for a pregnant mom. It gives your child some freedom, doesn't force them to hold your hand (which is a long ways up for a toddler) or be in a stroller/cart. If she wants to walk, but runs, it's a great solution!

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#38 of 51 Old 07-15-2010, 03:05 PM
 
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Originally Posted by JSMa View Post
So, I've been thinking about the harness... How horrible is this? Is anyone else in a similiar situation? What do you do?
oh man i was soooo judgemental against it. oh you should have heard me.

till i had a runner.

and then i had to swallow my words.

we got a tiger one

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#39 of 51 Old 07-15-2010, 03:22 PM
 
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I always had my dd hold my hand or be carried, unless I had the stroller with me and she could use the stroller. It was just the rule and I didn't let tantrums change my mind. I don't like the harnesses because they give more room for kids to roam and get into things they shouldn't be playing with while out and about. I think you should make whatever choice works for you though. I used to be very judgemental about parents who used things like that, but now that my dd is older I have to spend my energy worrying about myself not about what other people do so I encourage you to ignore the judgement and do what works for you and your dd, especially if life is stressful in other areas right now. Just be aware that you need to watch to make sure she isn't into other things if she has a lot of room to explore.
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#40 of 51 Old 07-15-2010, 03:40 PM
 
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I had five kids in less than 6 years. I travel with them, internationally (USA to Australia, USA to Europe) ALONE, about once a year or so.

Yes, I use harnesses in airports. I get lots of nasty looks in airports. I offer to anyone who gives nasty looks that if they would prefer to take over the job of getting them all through immigration, baggage and strapped into the plane without the harnesses I am more than willing.

Mama to nine gorgeous babies, with finale #10 due April'14.
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#41 of 51 Old 07-15-2010, 03:54 PM
 
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havent read the replies, but i have read other threads like this one..

DH bought the monkey for DS and DS LOVES it. he wants to wear it everywhere and now that he's walking, i feel like it gives him a bit more freedom than me holding his hand, which he doesnt like to do. so we have zero problem with it. and so far havent had any negative comments or looks, in fact someone asked where to get one because they thought it was such a cute idea.

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#42 of 51 Old 07-15-2010, 04:08 PM
 
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I always had my dd hold my hand or be carried, unless I had the stroller with me and she could use the stroller. It was just the rule and I didn't let tantrums change my mind.
Then I can't imagine your child threw many serious tantrums about it. In our case, that approach would require me to be willing to make everyone around us listen to my son scream and fuss pretty much every single place we go. That wouldn't go over very well, especially at the library. With some kids this really isn't just a matter of being firm.

ETA - Also, I would have to be willing and able to physically restrain my son who kicks and squirms with force when he wants to get down. Not easy to do while paying for something. And I would have to literally be willing to break his arm or dislocate his shoulder in order to hold his hand when he is not willing. He's a feisty one.
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#43 of 51 Old 07-15-2010, 04:44 PM
 
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I always had my dd hold my hand or be carried, unless I had the stroller with me and she could use the stroller. It was just the rule and I didn't let tantrums change my mind.
Tantrums are one thing. DS1 would hold my hand when asked, and I never had a problem with it. However, the one time he decided not to, he didn't throw a tantrum - he just very abruptly wrenched his hand free and bolted onto someone's lawn. I went after him, and he circled back. My foot slipped and I went down hard on my stomach. When I managed to get back up, it was to see my two year old son, sitting in the middle of the intersection, with a van stopped not five feet away. I was shaking for hours. In his case, I didn't get a harness, because 1) it never occurred to me since this was an exception to his usual behaviour, and 2) I couldn't afford it, anyway. But, if he'd been a runner, then a harness wouldn't have been about whether or not he liked holding my hand - it would have been about never having to see him sitting in the middle of the road again.

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I don't like the harnesses because they give more room for kids to roam and get into things they shouldn't be playing with while out and about.
But...depending where you're out and about, that might be what you want. I used mine mostly to take dd1 to the local farm. I wanted her to be able to pet goats and bunnies and give bird seed to the ducks. If I wanted her contained, I'd have used a container stroller or pack of some kind). The harness is a different tool, with a different purpose.

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#44 of 51 Old 07-15-2010, 04:55 PM
 
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It's like any other tool in your parenting belt, great if used properly, can be poor if used improperly. For you with a runner, its a safety thing and also nice for the child as they get to explore and have some independence too, so get one and don't look back. It's parents that yank on them to pull a child back or something like that that makes people leery of harnesses. And if you haven't dealt with a runner, well, it can be hard to understand how kids like that can be too

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#45 of 51 Old 07-15-2010, 04:56 PM
 
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I have always used a retractable dog leash and hook it to a belt loop or the waist of my son's pants. Now that gets some really funny looks, but it only takes a second for you to get separated from you child or for them to put themselves in harms way like with traffic or getting lost so I don't really care what people think.
I bet that does get some looks! I would probably burst off laughing if I saw that. I think it is a brillant idea.

Pre-kid, I thought the harnesses were at best, for lazy parents....

Then I had a kid and like so many of my brillant theories, I had to eat those words and they went straight to my @ss....

I have a runner/bolter. Nothing works. When I try to use the safety angle he laughs and says "I hope the car hits me and breaks my leg so I can go to the hospital like Curious George!" Seriously, I don't know how to deal with that type of reasoning?!?!

It has to be a dire situation for me to take him to a store or anywhere that involves a parking lot, it is that bad. There have been times I needed to physically pin him between me and the dirty car to keep him from sprinting away. Fun times, let me tell you.

So yes, I would use a harness if necessary. Especially if pregnant. Go for it and dirty looks be darned!

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#46 of 51 Old 07-15-2010, 05:09 PM
 
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When I try to use the safety angle he laughs and says "I hope the car hits me and breaks my leg so I can go to the hospital like Curious George!" Seriously, I don't know how to deal with that type of reasoning?!?!
Oh no! I keep telling myself this phase will be over as soon as my son can communicate better and be reasoned with.
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#47 of 51 Old 07-15-2010, 06:49 PM
 
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I don't like the harnesses because they give more room for kids to roam and get into things they shouldn't be playing with while out and about.
I have a traditional style harness (like this) and they're about two feet long. She can get no further from me than she could if she were holding my hand. Except she won't hold my hand, is a runner (and climber!) and we live in a busy urban area, hence the harness.
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#48 of 51 Old 07-15-2010, 06:54 PM
 
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I bet that does get some looks! I would probably burst off laughing if I saw that. I think it is a brillant idea.

Pre-kid, I thought the harnesses were at best, for lazy parents....

Then I had a kid and like so many of my brillant theories, I had to eat those words and they went straight to my @ss....

I have a runner/bolter. Nothing works. When I try to use the safety angle he laughs and says "I hope the car hits me and breaks my leg so I can go to the hospital like Curious George!" Seriously, I don't know how to deal with that type of reasoning?!?!

It has to be a dire situation for me to take him to a store or anywhere that involves a parking lot, it is that bad. There have been times I needed to physically pin him between me and the dirty car to keep him from sprinting away. Fun times, let me tell you.

So yes, I would use a harness if necessary. Especially if pregnant. Go for it and dirty looks be darned!
Those smart kids are such a hassle!! My dd has an answer like that for every thing in life. She makes me nuts. But damn, she's sooo smart!
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#49 of 51 Old 07-15-2010, 07:07 PM
 
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I use one pretty much only at two stores: one is a toy store, where I want him to be able to explore but also want him to stay close to me and not bolt down the stairs or out the door or something (I'm also very pregnant right now and can't run very fast lol) and at a certain dollar store where the carts don't hold children and he runs all around. I find it great for those kinds of situations! I say use one, I have certainly not gotten any glares for it, god help someone who gives me one.
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#50 of 51 Old 07-15-2010, 07:31 PM
 
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Do what you need to do to keep your daughter safe and you somewhat sane. Just like others said, I used to think they were silly, too, until I had a runner. My 4 year old daughter was always such a great walker, I never had to worry about her running off. But my son is so different. He'll just bolt, out of the park, into the street, to the expensive bottles of wine in our local co-op, etc. I have not used a harness at this point, only because he happens to love being carried. He thinks his rightful place is in the red carrier on my back, which is much appreciated at this point as it makes trekking 3 kids around a lot easier. But, if he decides he doesn't like being carried at any point, and he still has a pesky habit of running, we'll certainly look into getting him a harness.

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#51 of 51 Old 07-16-2010, 11:50 AM
 
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oh man i was soooo judgemental against it. oh you should have heard me.

till i had a runner.

and then i had to swallow my words.

we got a tiger one
And I was soooo judgmental against it....til I became a parent!

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