to those of you who had great mamas... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 03-16-2004, 03:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
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what were some of the things that they did, said, etc, that made them wonderful mothers? what did they do to make you feel special? what did you do together for fun?

i thought this would be a good way to maybe learn some new mama tricks, ideas, etc, and it might be kind of inspiring.
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#2 of 10 Old 03-16-2004, 03:20 AM
 
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When I had a rough day, as a child(kids can be so mean ya know), I would come home, and my mom would take me in her arms. And just listen, she'd let me get it off my chest. She wouldn't try to put words on my feelings, or try to give me solutions...it always made me feel so much better.
EVERYNIGHT, from age 5-8 (we're talking 3 yrs), I would hide either behind my door, behind the curtain, or in the closet, and everynight, my mom would pretend to search for me...
She was/is, my best friend, and biggest fan!!!!!

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#3 of 10 Old 03-16-2004, 03:37 AM
 
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My mom has a lot of downsides to her person as a whole, but she is a great mom. And not necessarily because of spectacularly fun things we did together. She was always (and still is) my number one fan. She supported anything I wanted to do. She always made us her top priority. She was a lion mama if there ever was one - don't mess with her kids! She was a very attached parent, always treated us with respect. She has always been very open and honest with us about anything. And when we were sick or sad, she could always comfort us and make us feel better. She never cared what other people thought or what she was 'supposed' to do - she did what felt right for her and her children.
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#4 of 10 Old 03-16-2004, 02:48 PM
 
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The best thing about my mum is that I always, always know she'll be there for me no matter what. Her kids have always come first, and I always knew she was a rock in my life. To this day I can count on her help any time I need it. That type of security is really priceless to me.

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#5 of 10 Old 03-16-2004, 03:36 PM
 
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This is kind of a weird thing to mention, but my mom always watched TV with us, and whenever a commercial would come on, she'd point out the "real" message behind it, or how the advertisers were being manipulative. Example: The Lego commercials always showed boys -- and only boys -- playing with Legos; she pointed out that it looked like the advertisers assumed that girls didn't play with Legos. Or she'd point out how advertisers play on certain fears to motivate people to buy their product, like the Brinks commercial where the guy breaks into the house when the mom and two teenage girls are home. Even now, commercials are pretty much ineffective on me.

Mom never compared my sisters and me to each other. She never played favorites. She never spoke down to us, even when we were very young, and I was always surprised when other adults did so. And she always made it clear that her love for us was unconditional.
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#6 of 10 Old 03-16-2004, 04:21 PM
 
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I couldn't possibly list all of the awesome things about my mom, but a couple that come to mind in this second are:
- none of us doubted for a second that we fulfilled a part of her, and she was able to create individual relationships with us based on each of our interests and strengths.
- we would often "catch" her singing her praises about us to others when she thought we weren't listening (or now I realize maybe she did realize that we were listening, but still, made us feel like a million bucks!)
- showed me how to be a wonderful AP parent, and is just as passionate about my kids as I am - calls them "our girls".

hmmmmm, could go on and on, but basically I have so many happy memories of just time together - watching Star Wars together while folding laundry, singing songs and making up jokes on long car trips together, crawling into bed with her at night, enjoying long conversations around dinnertime and especially laughing lots. I always felt like I had a say, and what I was interested in was important. Oh, and discipline - we would often talk about stuff, she would ask me how I thought this could be solved, I had input into what chores I wanted to do/how I wanted to contribute to the family, and I felt free to let her know when I thought she was being unfair - and she would sometimes back down and agree that she was being unfair. And when my sister and I were hitting each other, she made us research non-violence and do reports on Gandhi and Martin Luther King. Etc, etc, etc....

I LOVE my mom, and constantly look up to her for inspiration as I embark on this journey of motherhood!!!!!

Living life as fully as we can, with our three fellow adventure-seekers ~ K (2000), T (2003) and R (2007).  
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#7 of 10 Old 03-16-2004, 04:52 PM
 
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Things I Learned from My Mom
Here are a few things more specific than the above:

When I was a preschooler, she would put just a little extra effort into making a nutritious snack into something special. She would cut buttered whole-wheat toast into thin strips and arrange them around a tiny dish filled with honey and call that "Pooh Bear's Snack", or she would cut matchstick strips of cheese and use them to spell my name on a lacquered tray.

She summons me (this still happens!) to be an Expert Consultant in some area where she's noticed I have a strength. For example, if she was unhappy w/the living room furniture arrangement, she would give me a list of issues to resolve and ask me to sketch some alternative arrangements. It makes me feel so important and helps her solve a problem, too!

Both parents humored me in various elaborate endeavors, like playing Town and sticking up street signs on all the door frames. I remember once bringing two friends from one of their houses (where we'd been playing until yelled at by the mom) over to mine, saying, "MY mom will let us build a house by putting blankets over the chairs, AND she'll let us leave it up for a couple of days!"

When I read a book or short story that I particularly liked, one or both parents would borrow (for years I was operating a library out of my bedroom, and they faithfully complied w/the checkout procedures, as well as attending my book review presentations ) and read it. Then we could talk about it together. They also recommended books to me and read aloud things they thought I would like.

For every birthday, I got a party of my own design, within reason. Mom would bake the cake in my choice of flavor and style and wasn't afraid to try new things---when I wanted an Eeyore cake, she made a valiant attempt at gray frosting which came out periwinkle! When I was younger, there were games for which she would make props---once I wanted to play "Pin the Door on the Refrigerator" so she drew an open fridge on a big sheet of cardboard and asked me to name things that should go in it, drawing them one by one as I named them. As I got older, most of the games were informal and kid-directed, but we usually had dinner, which was something like pizza or tacos for which Mom would prepare components and then supervise assembly of custom meals by the kids. These parties were much more fun than the "package" parties at the skating rink or fast food restaurant that a lot of other kids had...and one of the best things about them was that when they were over, my parents would say, "That was fun! We should have parties more often!"

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#8 of 10 Old 03-16-2004, 06:54 PM
 
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i love my mama


my parents got divorced when i was 2 and my bro and i lived with my mom but stayed at my dad's every other weekend. on sundays when we came home she always had made a special dessert she also made tasty meals all the time and funky b-day cakes too.

we read together every night and sang songs in the car and always discussed themes and ideas.
as a single mom she showed me how strong a person could be. there was never anything that we didn't do because there was no father figure--she even was the den mother of my bro's boy scout troop.
i was always ecouraged to be as creative as possible which meant i was allowed to take over sections of the house for my "projects".

i was allowed to keep a wide menagerie of animals without a fuss.

she never played favorites with my brother or I.

i was allowed alot of freedom but because we were so open to each other i had nothing to hide.

i was allowed to get as dirty as i wanted

and my children get to see that she is just so completely awesome everyday because she is letting us live with her.

really i could go on and on.......
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#9 of 10 Old 03-16-2004, 11:39 PM
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In the summer, she would buy large blocks of ice and let my sister and me slide down them at the park. Kind of a weird memory, but it was fun.

She was always "prepared" -- she always had hot chocolate on hand when we went inner tubing, etc. She always her purse stocked with tissues, gum, or whatever else she thought we might need when we were out somewhere.

She always made birthdays a big deal.

She used to write notes in my lunchbox.

I'm sure there's more but that's all that I can think of right now.
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#10 of 10 Old 03-17-2004, 02:56 AM
 
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My dad died in a car accident when I was two...I think to compensate, my mom and I had the most amazing relationship. Not that I would have ever wished for that horrible accident, but it made my mom the absolute best, most attached, most in-tune mama a girl could ever want. I told her EVERYTHING because I knew that nothing I said was stupid. I was always allowed to have an opinion, and even when we were BROKE, we were rich to me. She TALKED to me. She played with me, she made me ME.

My mom took me bike riding, she let me learn to horse back ride, she let me sleep with her till I was eight, she was the mom that all the other kids called "Cool!" She never made me feel small and always believed in me.

Now, my son (and daughter, she's just little still) think the WORLD of her. She's the perfect grandma too!

Christina
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