Annoyed/Playdate/friend related - Mothering Forums

Annoyed/Playdate/friend related

gbailey's Avatar gbailey (TS)
04:20 PM Liked: 56
#1 of 17
07-26-2010 | Posts: 1,450
Joined: Mar 2009
DD and I have fairly frequent playdates (about once or twice a week) with a friend of mine. We're former coworkers who live in the same area. We usually go out and sometimes spend time at the other persons home. It's fun because our girls get along really well and we get along well too. About a month ago she asked if DD and I would be interested in going to Sesame Place with her and her DD for her churches annual trip. The cost of the tickets were low and I thought it would be fun. She went last year and thought we would all have fun together. She calls me last week to tell me the date of the trip and the cost. We even talked about who would bring what. When we have outings we usually bring enough of one thing so we're both not overloaded with stuff.

I texted her over the weekend and asked her when we needed to pay and asked her if she was interested in the pass that allows you to not have to wait on line for rides. She wrote back, "we won't have to wait on line. it's a church! and the lines go fast anyway and they ask people to bring food and we all share each others food" Then she sends another text saying, "Well, we're driving and our car is already packed but if you want to go I can check and see if there are any vans left for you two to ride." I wrote back, "thanks but we're going to pass."

I'm just annoyed. Why bother asking us to go and then only informing me that she would be driving after the fact. Then last week when we were on one of our weekly outings, I asked her the name of the dentist she goes to because DH and I want to take DD. Her response, "we go to a really good PRIVATE dentist our pediatrician recommended." She tends to be extremely B*tchy when she has PMS but I found this Sesame Street thing annoying. I'm a pretty sensitive person and wondered if I am being too sensitive about this.
Apple Girl's Avatar Apple Girl
05:24 PM Liked: 11
#2 of 17
07-26-2010 | Posts: 581
Joined: Nov 2007
I'm not sure either of those comments alone would particularly offend me unless I had a bad history with the person writing them. The dentist comment would bother me more, but more because it baffles me so much. Why wouldn't she give her dentist's name? Is it some kind of secret? Do you not have dental insurance, and she knows it might be out of your price range? Or does she mean the dentist is "private" as in you have to somehow have connections to get in the door? That must be some dentist!
tbone_kneegrabber's Avatar tbone_kneegrabber
05:34 PM Liked: 209
#3 of 17
07-26-2010 | Posts: 2,748
Joined: Oct 2007
I don't see anything wrong with the sesame place interaction. at any point previously did she offer to drive you? If not, I would have assumed I was responsible for my own transportation to get there.
Catubodua's Avatar Catubodua
05:48 PM Liked: 20
#4 of 17
07-26-2010 | Posts: 1,423
Joined: Apr 2008
I'd be confused about the trip - if it was a church group putting it on I would assume that they had rented buses for everyone to ride together not that I had to figure out my own way to get there. How did she answer you when you asked about how/when to pay?

As for the dentist - some folks are so weird about that stuff. As in, if they give you the name and then you don't like them or have a bad experience, or, even worse, you go and stiff them on the bill, they don't want their name associated with yours.
VisionaryMom's Avatar VisionaryMom
05:55 PM Liked: 120
#5 of 17
07-26-2010 | Posts: 3,736
Joined: Feb 2007
Is she typically this way? I have a friend who is rather...thoughtless about things. I can see her planning an entire trip with us and then not mentioning that she's driving and has already told others they could ride with her. It would annoy me if I didn't know anyone else from her church. I think when you invite someone on a trip with a larger group, the idea is that you'll stick with that person for the most part.

Also, I don't understand (don't know what Sesame Place is) why they won't have to wait in line because they're a church. What does that mean?
swd12422's Avatar swd12422
05:56 PM Liked: 199
#6 of 17
07-26-2010 | Posts: 2,111
Joined: Nov 2007
See, and I would have assumed we were riding in the vans with the rest of the church, or at least asked if we were... As for the dentist, that's just petty BS that I find really annoying. Did you ask her WHY she was making a big deal out of giving you the referral? What difference does it make to her where you go? Even if the dentist isn't accepting new patients or charges an arm and a leg, that's for you to find out, not for her to decide for you. Weird.
rightkindofme's Avatar rightkindofme
06:19 PM Liked: 749
#7 of 17
07-26-2010 | Posts: 4,604
Joined: Apr 2008
I'd be pretty upset if someone invited me on an outing and then acted like I had invited myself. That's not particularly polite. And the dentist thing is weird.
Latte Mama's Avatar Latte Mama
06:36 PM Liked: 18
#8 of 17
07-26-2010 | Posts: 1,192
Joined: Aug 2009
I'd be annoyed as well. It seems like the driving thing was thrown as a curveball at the end and that would have bben a surprise to me also. I would have thought you were all going on church buses/vans. The dentist thing seems like she's being kind of snooty.
LavenderMae's Avatar LavenderMae
07:11 PM Liked: 13
#9 of 17
07-26-2010 | Posts: 12,213
Joined: Sep 2002
Quote:
Originally Posted by rightkindofme View Post
I'd be pretty upset if someone invited me on an outing and then acted like I had invited myself. That's not particularly polite. And the dentist thing is weird.

gbailey's Avatar gbailey (TS)
08:03 PM Liked: 56
#10 of 17
07-26-2010 | Posts: 1,450
Joined: Mar 2009
Thanks for the responses. We do have insurance but she doesn't know what kind. When someone asks me for a doc recommendation I just give them the number. They can call on their own about their insurance. It was weird since we always swap children related info.

I was very put off by the Sesame Place (it's a theme park for kids in Pennsylvania with water rides, shows and other rides) thing. Because I babble when I write (and talk), I may not have made it clear.We were all supposed to be going on the church van/bus. To the poster who asked, she didn't offer to drive us but we were all supposed to be going on the church van per her invite. That's what she did last year. I personally would never invite someone on a van/bus trip and then be like "see ya when we get there because we're driving." If for some reason my family had changed our minds I would have let the person I invited know right away.

I also don't know why she said we wouldn't have to wait in line because it's the church. Amusement parks don't even allow physically disabled people to go to the top of the line so I have no clue what she meant.

I am more annoyed than offended. She acted as if I invited myself along which wasn't the case
gcgirl's Avatar gcgirl
08:44 PM Liked: 36
#11 of 17
07-26-2010 | Posts: 2,311
Joined: Apr 2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by gbailey View Post
I also don't know why she said we wouldn't have to wait in line because it's the church. Amusement parks don't even allow physically disabled people to go to the top of the line so I have no clue what she meant.
(
Yeah, this is the most baffling of all. Since when do church groups get to pass up lines? That's bizarre. And the thing about the "private" dentist is weird too. What the hell does that mean? Most dentists ARE "private." I'm fairly certain the U.S. govt. doesn't directly employ any dentists except military ones.
limabean's Avatar limabean
08:45 PM Liked: 4964
#12 of 17
07-26-2010 | Posts: 9,431
Joined: Aug 2005
Quote:
Originally Posted by gbailey View Post
I am more annoyed than offended. She acted as if I invited myself along which wasn't the case
I would feel the same way. I'm sorry she did that.
Hoopin' Mama
10:37 PM Liked: 583
#13 of 17
07-26-2010 | Posts: 3,157
Joined: Sep 2004
Quote:
Originally Posted by limabean View Post
I would feel the same way. I'm sorry she did that.
Agreed.
2xy's Avatar 2xy
10:44 PM Liked: 195
#14 of 17
07-26-2010 | Posts: 3,056
Joined: Nov 2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by gbailey View Post
I also don't know why she said we wouldn't have to wait in line because it's the church. Amusement parks don't even allow physically disabled people to go to the top of the line so I have no clue what she meant.
Is it possible the park was only going to be admitting the church group that day? Kind of like how Six Flags does a day for just homeschoolers?
Anastasiya's Avatar Anastasiya
10:51 PM Liked: 31
#15 of 17
07-26-2010 | Posts: 1,485
Joined: Jun 2006
Maybe the private dentist thing meant by referral only. I had an old doc who was referral only, and wouldn't take anyone who the family doc didn't send to him AND called himself "private" as his doors weren't open to just anyone....on top of that, he charged over $1000 a year in order to have the "privilege" to see him. It was all a racket.
gbailey's Avatar gbailey (TS)
01:11 AM Liked: 56
#16 of 17
07-27-2010 | Posts: 1,450
Joined: Mar 2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2xy View Post
Is it possible the park was only going to be admitting the church group that day? Kind of like how Six Flags does a day for just homeschoolers?
No but only because my cousins daughter's day camp is going on the same day and they aren't religious or church affiliated. I didn't know Six Flags does that for homeschoolers. Neat.
mammal_mama's Avatar mammal_mama
11:15 AM Liked: 917
#17 of 17
07-27-2010 | Posts: 6,378
Joined: Aug 2006
Yeah, I think she was rude on both counts.
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