ridiculous things children say in public restrooms - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 39 Old 07-28-2010, 11:05 AM - Thread Starter
 
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in the McDonald’s bathroom the other day I overheard a 2 or 3 year old ask her mommy “why her panties looked like that?” and I thought, what better way to brighten the day by sharing stories of all the hilariously embarrassing and over-sharing children do and say in public restrooms.

So, share! Share!

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#2 of 39 Old 07-28-2010, 11:16 AM
 
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My 2 year old DS asked me in a very busy Ikea bathroom.

"Mama where your Diva cup go?"
"Your Diva cup go in your vulva mama?"
"Your Diva cup have menstrual blood mama?"

The whole time me whispering "yes, shhhh" and trying not to laugh.

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#3 of 39 Old 07-28-2010, 11:26 AM
 
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My 4 year old in a YMCA locker room after we went swimming:

"I love your boobs!! I LOVE YOUR BOOBS!!! They are jiggly!!! Let me squeeze your boobs!!"

This is not an everyday conversation, just somehow it came up right there.

Homeschooling mama to 6 year old DD.

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#4 of 39 Old 07-28-2010, 12:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by butterfly_mommy View Post
My 2 year old DS asked me in a very busy Ikea bathroom.

"Mama where your Diva cup go?"
"Your Diva cup go in your vulva mama?"
"Your Diva cup have menstrual blood mama?"

The whole time me whispering "yes, shhhh" and trying not to laugh.
oh my goodness! way to teach your daughter the proper terms for female anatomy!

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#5 of 39 Old 07-28-2010, 12:16 PM
 
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Originally Posted by newbiemama09 View Post
oh my goodness! way to teach your daughter the proper terms for female anatomy!
lol I noticed she said DS not DD

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#6 of 39 Old 07-28-2010, 12:18 PM
 
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In a crowded Target bathroom: wow, that's really good wiping, Mama.

I was cleaning HER up at the time, I don't know why that time was so special.
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#7 of 39 Old 07-28-2010, 12:25 PM
 
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"Mama, why is your Mr. Winkie so hairy??" in the restroom at a semi-fancy restaurant. Best part was the lady in the next stall attempting to smother her laughter. (I made an appt with the waxer the next day!)

DS was about 3 at the time and had been taught "mr. winkie" by his father for his penis. A long conversation ensued after that, but in private LOL

Mama to DS T (10/11/2004) and DD M (09/03/09) and cookin' up baby #3 due late March/early April 2010!
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#8 of 39 Old 07-28-2010, 12:31 PM
 
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"Mama.... I'm holding my penis! See!!! Pee goes in the potty!"

(We were having issues with him just peeing towards the potty but not actually paying attention to getting it IN the potty)

"Ewww.... you made it stinky Mama! Please Mama- let me out of here!"

Complete with gagging noises while I'm trying to wipe with one foot on the door so he couldn't open it. I could hear a few people snickering with that one.

"Oh Mama- Where did your penis go??? Did it fall off??? Is it in the potty???"

We had a talk later about how females don't have a penis

Steph, DH Jason (1-1-11), DS Owen (10-3-03) and DS Kai (10-13-11)

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#9 of 39 Old 07-28-2010, 12:43 PM
 
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"Mom, are you gonna poo? You need to poo. Cause those farts in the car smelled really nasty!"



That's just a recent one that's gotten snickers from other people in the same restroom.

He's said some other things that were way more shocking regarding my "blood". Which is why now I make him stand just outside the stall where I can see his feet.

Center
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#10 of 39 Old 07-28-2010, 12:43 PM
 
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DH took DS to use the bathroom at the mall when DS was about 3.5 or so. DS took care of business, then DH decided to go while they were in the stall.

Dh unzipped and well... you know..... DS looked up and said loudly "Daddy you have a BIG penis!". Then he looked down and said a little forlornly "I have a little penis."

I was standing outside waiting for them, and about 3 men came out laughing, followed by DH who was laughing so hard he couldn't even make a sound. When he could finally compose himself he said "I don't know whether to laugh or pound my chest with pride!"

Happy Wife since 9/18/99, Mom to crazy sweet boys Noah Richard 7/24/04 & Jeremy Michael 1/27/11
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#11 of 39 Old 07-28-2010, 02:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lonegirl View Post
lol I noticed she said DS not DD


Quote:
Originally Posted by StephandOwen View Post

"Ewww.... you made it stinky Mama! Please Mama- let me out of here!"

Complete with gagging noises while I'm trying to wipe with one foot on the door so he couldn't open it. I could hear a few people snickering with that one.
i would just die!!

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DH took DS to use the bathroom at the mall when DS was about 3.5 or so. DS took care of business, then DH decided to go while they were in the stall.

Dh unzipped and well... you know..... DS looked up and said loudly "Daddy you have a BIG penis!". Then he looked down and said a little forlornly "I have a little penis."

I was standing outside waiting for them, and about 3 men came out laughing, followed by DH who was laughing so hard he couldn't even make a sound. When he could finally compose himself he said "I don't know whether to laugh or pound my chest with pride!"
OMG!!!!!!!! i am SOOOOOOOOO telling DH about this one!!!!

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#12 of 39 Old 07-28-2010, 02:39 PM
 
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Originally Posted by PrincessWinnie View Post
DH took DS to use the bathroom at the mall when DS was about 3.5 or so. DS took care of business, then DH decided to go while they were in the stall.

Dh unzipped and well... you know..... DS looked up and said loudly "Daddy you have a BIG penis!". Then he looked down and said a little forlornly "I have a little penis."

I was standing outside waiting for them, and about 3 men came out laughing, followed by DH who was laughing so hard he couldn't even make a sound. When he could finally compose himself he said "I don't know whether to laugh or pound my chest with pride!"
I'm also sharing this one with DH. That.is.awesome.

Kas (24), Helpmeet to Stefan (25), Mom to Franklin Gaudelio 4/15/09, Jonathan Boswell 1/2/11
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#13 of 39 Old 07-28-2010, 03:25 PM
 
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This thread is hilarious!!

I have four young children, so I have a few (well, more then a few) that stick out

"Mama, I pointed my penis down. Isn't my penis nice? Sometimes it gets big!" (that's from my three year old son)

"Eww, your blood looks gross mama."

"Are you pooping mama? It really smells like you are." Then I try say "Shush" and he yells "What? I didn't hear you, are you pooping mama? I can smell it."

"I really like your jiggely stomach mama" This is from my oldest dd
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#14 of 39 Old 07-28-2010, 03:40 PM
 
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This is from my DH.
He took our two girls to get a toy. I had just had a discussion with my oldest(6) about how boys have a penis and girls have a vagina. I mean, she knew before but it didn't click in until after her hair was cut very short and was being mistaken as a boy. I digress.

In middle of busy store
DD(6) to Dh " Daddy, do you know how you can tell I'm a girl?"
dh,clueless and preoccupied "no honey, how?"

I think you know where this is going.
dd(6) loudly "Girls have vaginas and boys have penises"
cue snickering lady down the aisle.
Better him than me I say


ETA: OH! How I missed the restrooms part of the title, I will never know.
I've just had the usual "Mommy, you're stinky" stuff

waiting on the power of the three wolf moon. 
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#15 of 39 Old 07-28-2010, 06:00 PM
 
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We had a big family party at a nice restaurant, and I voluteered to take my nieces (8 and 5) to the restroom. One had to go, so I asked the little one if she needed to come too. She said yes, and off the three of us went.

We went in, there were two stalls, and both were occupied. One woman came out almost imediately, and the older one went in. I needed to go, too... When the second woman came out, I tried to send the 5-year-old in, and asked her if she needed help (since she was all dressed up in tights, etc). She said no and just stood there, watching the woman adjust her clothes and wash her hands. I said, "Go on. It's your turn." She said, "Oh, I don't have to pee, I just came in here to fart around." The woman's head jerked up so fast I thought she'd get whiplash. And then the shock wore off and we both started laughing hysterically. Fathers just don't get the full impact of how their daughters learn...
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#16 of 39 Old 07-28-2010, 06:21 PM
 
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When ds was about 2 we were in the (very crowded) restroom doing our thing. Ds yelled loudly "Are you pooping Mama?! Good job Mama! You pooped in the potty!! Woah...that's a BIG poop Mama!

I tried to stay in the stall until most everyone had left

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#17 of 39 Old 07-28-2010, 09:08 PM
 
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My BFF took our kids out to lunch when they were about 3 yo. Her DS kept getting "vagina" confused with "diarrhea."

So, they were in the stall next to us and about four people were in line waiting. From their stall you could hear him say, "Mom, I see your diarrhea!" BFF shushed him.

Then..."I have a penis because I'm a boy. You have a diarrhea because you're not a boy."

More shushing and giggles from the line-waiters.

"You have a diarrhea, Grandma Nikki has a diarrhea, Aunt Kerry has a diarrhea, Mommy Kate has a diarrhea."

At this point, no one could hide their laughter. I'm still in the next stall, cracking up. My DD asks why he keeps talking about poop. My BFF wonders aloud if she could possibly disappear quickly.

Hysterical.
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#18 of 39 Old 07-29-2010, 12:16 AM
 
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I have 2 yr old twins and we go in the big stall where they enjoy flushing the toilet about 25 times while I pee.

Recently, dd has asked,
-is there an elephant in here? ( woman farting loudly in stall next to us)
- is my poop pretty? (uh, no. It's important to poop but I wouldn't call it pretty)
- I wear mama cloth and dd wanted to know all about it.

They both remind me to wipe myself.

 Single mama to two wild and sweet toddlers 2/08
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#19 of 39 Old 07-29-2010, 12:27 AM
 
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Wow, very timely.

Today--

"Mommy, what is that come out of your butt?... Oh, that is just red poop. Why do you have red poop again, mama?"
-DD's loud squeaky 24 month old voice

I love the idea to teach them propper names. DD will so be talking about tampons and menstrual blood tomorrow.
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#20 of 39 Old 07-29-2010, 02:46 AM
 
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My sons are older now and we don't really have those moments anymore but when Ds#1 was about 2, I was pregnant with ds #2, and I went in to give urine for one reason or another, my DS looked at it in the plastic cup and said " Is that your beer mommy?"
* cue random snickering from the waiting room* ( he said it as I was taking it to a little window like a bank teller)

LOL

(I didnt drink beer while pregnant, so he must have been thinking of his dad and uncle! LOL!)

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#21 of 39 Old 07-29-2010, 02:57 AM
 
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Oh wow, these have me laughing so hard!!
My son has definitely asked why there is red stuff coming out of my butt (despite many discussions of the appropriate terms!) and has also mentioned my "diaper" which was just my pad. Nothing too embarrassing.
I have overheard so many of those kinds of conversations in public (I have to pee a lot) that I just knew it was going to happen at some point but I didn't actually feel that prepared!

oh noo
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#22 of 39 Old 07-29-2010, 01:44 PM
 
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DS once said "That's a big poop Mommy! Good job!"
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#23 of 39 Old 07-29-2010, 01:57 PM
 
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My sons are older now and we don't really have those moments anymore but when Ds#1 was about 2, I was pregnant with ds #2, and I went in to give urine for one reason or another, my DS looked at it in the plastic cup and said " Is that your beer mommy?"
* cue random snickering from the waiting room* ( he said it as I was taking it to a little window like a bank teller)

LOL

(I didnt drink beer while pregnant, so he must have been thinking of his dad and uncle! LOL!)
For some reason, this one really gave me the giggles. Thanks, I needed that!

My son is only 2, so all I get so far is "Yay mommy!" and applause, and "Ew, yucky. Ew, stinky." I have so much to look forward to...

Callie Mama to Nate and TTC Baby #2
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#24 of 39 Old 07-29-2010, 02:02 PM
 
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When ds was about 2.5, in the Y locker room, we took off our swimsuits to get in the shower, and he was standing facing me, just at the right level to make a big discovery. He grabbed my thighs and pulled on them, going "Where's your penis, Mommy? I want to see your penis!! I want to see your penis!!!" There were about 5-6 middle-aged or older women around. I didn't look at any of them as I said, "I don't have a penis because I'm a woman. I have a vagina." He goes, "You have a buh-GUY-ja? Can I see it? You a women! You have a buh-guy-ja!"

Oh, and now (4 yo) he always comments on his own poop, including in public restrooms. He'll say something like "That was really hard, but I tried hard and I did it! That was an elephant poop! Look at my elephant poop, Mommy!" We had everyone cracking up in a rest area bathroom on our road trip a couple weeks ago.
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#25 of 39 Old 07-29-2010, 02:58 PM
 
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O.M.G. Thank you for this thread! I'm laughing so hard I'm crying!


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#26 of 39 Old 07-29-2010, 03:19 PM
 
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DS, commenting on his own BM, "That a big poop, Mommy. It's a Daddy poop."

and, inhaling, "Mmmm, 'mell good mommy. Poopy 'mell good mommy?" (in reference to his own BM.)


DS, 10/07. Allergies: peanut, egg, wheat. We've added dairy back in. And taken it back out again. It causes sandpaper skin with itchy patches and thrashing during sleep. Due w/ #2 late April, 2012.

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#27 of 39 Old 07-29-2010, 04:31 PM
 
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This wasn't in a public restroom but we had company over at the time (my landlord no less) so it may have well have been.

DD (3) announces to our company that she really needs to poop. Proceeds to strip naked, marches into the bathroom and poops....loudly grunting and vocalizing through it all, with my landlord hearing everything loud and clear.

In public bathrooms I have also gotten - Good job Mommy! - there is no such thing as shame when your a mother I suppose!

Crunchy Christian Wife and Mommy to awesome DH and DD1 (4/25/07) and DD2 (8/13/10)
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#28 of 39 Old 07-29-2010, 06:59 PM
 
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I was at Target the other day and the little girl (was about 4) in the stall next to me said "Why do you wear earrings under your panties Mama?". I tried to muffle it, but a little snicker came out.

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Adaline love.gif (3/20/10), and Charlie brokenheart.gif (1/26/12- 4/10/12) and our identical  rainbow1284.gif  twins Callie and Wendy (01/04/13)

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#29 of 39 Old 07-31-2010, 02:59 AM
 
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I was at Target the other day and the little girl (was about 4) in the stall next to me said "Why do you wear earrings under your panties Mama?". I tried to muffle it, but a little snicker came out.


DD and I haven't had many bathroom experiences yet so I'm afraid I have nothing to share here

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#30 of 39 Old 07-31-2010, 12:46 PM
 
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OMG, these are so funny! I'm laughing so hard!
One time after much groaning and dramatic pushing...wow, look Mama, I got both pieces out. The second piece was the hardest, I think it pushed the first one out.

Going into a stall in a very crowded bathroom after a lady came out..."oh no! We can't go in here, it stinks, **gagging sound*** let me out!"

Deb, Mom to Madeleine 8/2005 and Maia 11/2009 Nick: and Chris
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