I find that VS bras are not really supportive.
As others have said--baby doll and peasant tops may be a problem and smocked tops too. For t-shirts, I cut a v-neck in them and gives the bust more space so the top doesn't pull, but yeah, that can be hard when they're required.
I'm large chested. Somewhere around an E cup I do believe (I need a fitting badly) and my mother is smaller than an A cup. She never really tried to help me because she didn't know anything about bras since she never wears them. She bought me them when I needed them but they were always really flimsy with no support (like she wore the very few times she ever needed them) and didn't help at all. I wish she could have taken me somewhere to get a fitting or something, or even just talked to me about it. I was really ashamed of my breasts because my mother always made it seem like they were my fault, talking about how I had to be careful because boys will stare and it's disgraceful to show too much. I remember one day a classmate made fun of me because my boobs were "saggy" and I didn't wear a bra and I went home crying to my mom and she just told me she thought I was smart enough to know to wear one 24/7.
If she wants any shirts or dresses that button up the front, you can sew hooks and eyes in the gap between the buttons to keep them from pulling across the chest.
You might want to talk to her about handling unwanted attention from boys.
*CPST* mama to my three year old DS1 1.31.09 and wedded to angel 8.07
DS 2 8/18/12!!
Also, Walmart has significantly larger bras than Target. I was thrilled to buy a $5 38DDD or a 40DD there. The largest Target sells is a DD. It's not a Wacoal - love them! - but it covers the territorry while the other's wash.
Also seconding Nordie's Rack. That's the only place I buy Wacoals anymore. They are amazing bras. Occasionally they have nursing bras, too.
After 4 m/c, our is here!
I understand that, but please make sure you DO talk to her about discomfort and pain and that she needs to tell you if she ever starts to feel back pain or shoulder pain or notice that the bra is leaving actual indentation marks that don't just go away after a little while.
The thing the bothered me the most when she went through her hunched over phase was what she would do to be back, and if walking around like that while she is still growing could mess up her bones somehow.
She doesn't get a lot of attention from boys. She has some special needs and is on the autism spectrum. She has no desire to be part of the social loop. I think it would be a very different issue for a girl with a bubble personality.
I really appreciate everyone's input!
but everything has pros and cons
I'd say buying 2 at a time is fine. I only buy 2 at a time for myself. Sometimes 3 at once if they're really awesome and/or I am in dire need, for example, if my size has changed drastically.
And yes, the price range is always $50-100 each. Sucks, but it's worth it to have well-fitting brassieres.
I bought my bras pre-preg from Nordstrom. Excellent size selection and good customer service. They didn't try to push me into buying anything that didn't honestly fit. (Total opposite of VS -- the pp who said VS sales associates will cheerfully tell you you're whatever size they have in stock is correct! That's happened to me so many times, right as the bra falls down my ribs b/c it's too big around and sags my boobs b/c the cups are too small.)
Since needing maternity/nursing bras I've frequented www.herroom.com and www.figleaves.com. They have some excellent videos on bra sizing that might make your DD feel better about herself and her size too.
The ladies there have always been more than helpful! My size (40G) is never carried in-store, but they always cheerfully order my bra and have it shipped to my house (sans shipping!) because I am usually buying a few other items at the same time.
"Modern" cut shirts are also a blessing (as a PP mentioned) because it keeps larger chested ladies from looking like we are wearing a potato sack! I have also had some good luck with the Just My Size shirts at Walmart, and the "Plus Size" section at Target offers some really cute stuff every once in a while.
OH! And Old Navy has super cute plus size shirts that fit fabulously!
Proud Catholic (28) and mama to V (7)
I developed very early, I wore my first bra in grade 4 and was a 36 DDD by grade 8.
I think you are doing fantastic. Just wanted to add that I love my Enell sports bra it is like armour but I get no bounce when I run! My breasts and the pain and embarrassment of them bouncing is why I stopped being active in school I wish I had a good sports bra when I was growing up. Really really important!
Scarlett , DH Boris , DS 1/29/08 Julian DD2 6/7/12 missing our DD 1/06/06 Sonja and MC @ 9 wks 11/18/06 Satchel
She's lucky to have you!
I was a shy, awkward kid with few friends - until I developed and boys were interested in me. Because I wanted some positive attention, I was pleased to have this attention and did, in fact, become sexually active earlier and with more partners than I might have otherwise.
I would put the conversation to her as you would have a conversation with any teenage girl (ie, it's not about her breasts), but the time to start having ongoing conversations about healthy relationships and sex is now (if you haven't already).
ps - Nordstroms has lingerie sales quarterly, I got 4 36DDD bras for $200 at the end of July
I feel like I'm walking a thin line on the "we are happy to pay for this" BUT "these are really expensive so please please take care of them" issue. It's tricky.
I do feel lucky and blessed to be able to spend so much money on certain things and I never want to her to feel guilty about it, at the same time, she's 13 and left her $98 swim suit on the bath room floor twice last week. It's age appropriate, and I try not to nag her more/differently than I do her sister for leaving her $14 suit on the floor. I'd love to buy one on clearance this fall for her, but I really don't know what size she'll be next spring so it seems a bit pointless.
I'm excited to have so many more stores and options to check out with her.
I do talk about relationships, sex, etc. When we watch movies together, we talk about the characters and what she thinks of their choices, whether the movie seems realistic etc. I read some of the same books she reads and those are often spring points for conversations too.
I also bought a couple of very open books on puberty related issues and have them where the kids can look things up when they want to. She has access to solid information and knows that the choices she makes are her own, and that we will always love and support her.
One of the things that I've tried to teach my girls is that sex can change the way you feel about a person, making the emotions more intense, and as painful as it is when a relationship ends, it can be even worse when they relationship was sexual.
I've let them know that I have their insurance cards and if they ever want to go on the pill or whatever, they can just say so. I've shown them where condems are in stores, how inexpensive they are. None the less, I've encourage them to wait until they are adults and to be very selective. It's a thin line. Sex is a natural part of life, and yet I don't think anyone is best off being ruled by their whims. I think sex is best as part of a solid relationship where you care about the whole person, and you know that they care about you as a whole person.
Still, we don't get to make those choices for our teens. What ever choices she makes, I want to stay as safe as possible.
but everything has pros and cons