Love my children. But for just one day I wish I could... - Mothering Forums
Parenting > Love my children. But for just one day I wish I could...
BarnMomma's Avatar BarnMomma 06:07 PM 09-30-2010
...take a little break from being a parent.

I would look nice. I would not have spit-up/boogers/paint/drool/dirt on my clothes 5 minutes after I got dressed. I would have nice mani-pedis.

I would actually buy something for myself when I go shopping.

I would shower for more than 3 minutes and I would be alone and not stepping on 32 toys.

I would do 2 errands in under 4 hours.

I would not look at a rainstorm like some horrid devil sent m-effer designed to ruin my life as I try to get a baby and 3 yr old in and out of a starbucks, lowes, dry cleaner etc.

I would remember what it was like to stay up past 9PM and/or get 8 hours of sleep.

I would go on a date with my husband more than once every 6months to a year- and the same goes for the sex life.

I would be able to see the floor of my car and there would be no mystery smell. I would also not have 4 just-in-case bags.

I would fit into my size 27 citizens of humanity jeans without crisco, fishing line, spankx, prayers, and a 30 day fast.

And you??

Tway's Avatar Tway 06:23 PM 09-30-2010


I'd add:

- I would be able to take the time to fix my hair instead of going out with a mop on my head.

- I would enjoy those long, leisurely, bottle-of-wine Saturday suppers DH and I used to prepare--followed by a great rental movie and who knows what else!

- I would SLEEP IN once in a while.

- I would have a super clean house again. Heck, I'd enjoy housecleaning again.

- I could plan a full day of stuff without having to organize a gazillion things, like naptimes, snacks, diaper bags, toys, transportation (as we have no car), bedtime, etc. etc.

- I would enjoy being bored. Really, remember those times when you thought "I'm alone at home, there's nothing on TV, it's 4 in the afternoon, what am I supposed to do now?"... ? Yeah, I'd enjoy them this time round.
Norasmomma's Avatar Norasmomma 06:30 PM 09-30-2010
I'd sleep

Have a conversation with Dh without being interrupted by progressively louder singing, talking, screeching...

Mostly I'd sleep. The rest of it I could careless about, I really try to look as nice as I can most of the time.
texmati's Avatar texmati 07:07 PM 09-30-2010
.... sleep.
Storm Bride's Avatar Storm Bride 07:13 PM 09-30-2010
Quote:
Originally Posted by BarnMomma View Post
And you??
I would sleep in.
I'd wake up, and have a leisurely breakfast, and do some stretching, then
...I'd go back to bed.

I'd wake up later, and have a leisurely lunch, read for a while, and stretch some more, then
...I'd go back to bed.

I'd wake up again later, and have a leisurely dinner (which I would probably order in, to be honest, but may make something simple), read for a while, do some more stretching, and have a nice bath. Then...

I'd go back to bed, and sleep until morning, when my day would be over.


Ask again in 2-3 years, when dd2 isn't staying up late, and waking me up to nurse and play in the middle of the night. Leisurely meals, reading and stretching will probably still be there, but the emphasis on sleep will be down to "sleep in"...I hope.
zinemama's Avatar zinemama 07:27 PM 09-30-2010
So...why aren't you getting the chance to do any of those things?

When the weekend rolls around, doesn't your dh volunteer to be the parent on duty for an afternoon while you go off and re-charge? Don't you get a break when he comes home from work?

I don't know how I would have made it through the early years of parenthood without a partner who took some of the load off like that.
Norasmomma's Avatar Norasmomma 07:45 PM 09-30-2010
Quote:
Originally Posted by zinemama View Post
So...why aren't you getting the chance to do any of those things?

When the weekend rolls around, doesn't your dh volunteer to be the parent on duty for an afternoon while you go off and re-charge? Don't you get a break when he comes home from work?

I don't know how I would have made it through the early years of parenthood without a partner who took some of the load off like that.
Not everyone has partners like that. I'm lucky my DH is, but I know couples where hubby does whatever he wants because "he works", and mom gets to rarely have any time to recharge. I also think that weird old fashioned gender roles come into play in some relationships, especially when it comes to some men and SAHMs, sad but true.

I'm not saying the OP has this situation, but I've seen it with people I know and I find it a bit bizarre. Taking care of young children is a demanding job and some don't take it seriously.
Storm Bride's Avatar Storm Bride 07:48 PM 09-30-2010
FWIW, my dh does lots. I think he does more than I do, really. But, I'm still nighttime parent numero uno, because I have the breasts. Plus, I've never been able to fall asleep easily and such, so I get behind on sleep pretty easily.

OP's mileage may vary, of course. (And, my ex was dh's polar opposite.)
mamadelbosque's Avatar mamadelbosque 08:14 PM 09-30-2010
My DH is pretty good at helping out. When he's here. But he's currently working "part time" as a paramedic (24-36 hours a week - 2-3 12 hour shifts.), and he's also a full-time student. So he's gone. A *LOT*. Especially when you add-in the utterly random EMS calls (he works/runs with a volunteer EMS squad too). And continuing education. And driving time to all of this (schools 1 hour each way, work is 45 minutes, ce is 20 minutes). Sometimes it seems like we hardly see him except for maybe a couple hours in the evenings or first thing in the morning for days on end. And yeah, I get burnt out. And its not his fault. Its just how it is right now. Hopefully once he gets done with school next May/June and/or he gets a full-time firefighting job, things calm down. But right now? Its rough.
Amila's Avatar Amila 08:27 PM 09-30-2010
BarnMomma, your post sounds like my life!!!! I get excited when I have to get blood drawn at 7 am before DH goes to work because its 15 minutes to myself. Sometimes I go really crazy and grab a coffee at the McDonald's afterwards and drive around just to stretch it out
blizzard_babe's Avatar blizzard_babe 09:21 PM 09-30-2010
... come home from work and take a nap.

... vegetate in front of a movie.

... eat a bowl of ice cream for dinner and not worry about setting a bad example or not fueling proper fetus growth.

... swear when I hit my head without a little two year-old voice echoing my naughtiness.

... board an airplane without a sense of panic that my traveling companion will annoy everyone else on the plane.

... leave knitting supplies out without fear that someone will use them to experiment with scissors.

(FWIW, DH is wonderful and we totally share duties... but we share duties by WOH opposite shifts.)
BarnMomma's Avatar BarnMomma 10:32 PM 09-30-2010
OP here

DH is very hands on...when he's here. But he leaves at 7Am for work and gets home at about 7PM 5 days a week or like tonight is away on business. On weekends we do family things together so I don't really want ME time, I want US time...all of us. But by ahem, thursday...I'm feeling like a deflated balloon. Really just had one of those days.

My favorite part being when I had to go to Lowes alone with the baby to get 15 gallons of no-VOC paint mixed for the new house- in a downpour- soaking us both in 10 seconds-which made her scream bloody murder for the 30 minutes it took to mix the paint,plus the 30minutes it took for me to push a cart full of paint with one hand to the only open checkout to stand behind some ass who was returning a $3dollar item with no receipt...to get the car(repeat soaked mom and baby), drive it to the door, load the paint, get REALLY soaked, then sit cold and wet in a car for 45minutes nursing until baby was settled down enough to accept the car seat.

I just had a 2 hour marathon trying to get DS to sleep just in time forbaby DD to wake up.

After a day like this...I just want a break sometimes. And I do get one, usually daily, just a little one,but sometimes it's just not enough,and my head is always on MOM radar.
tracymom1's Avatar tracymom1 10:41 PM 09-30-2010
If I had a day without my little ones or the responsibility of caring for them in some way I really don't think I would be able to "unwind" enough to enjoy the time in the typical sense. My MIL has offered to keep DS and DD at her house for a day/night and I just can't do it. I would be constantly wondering what the heck is going on with them

But, FWIW, I would definitely take a long bath, drink tea (and leave the hot teacup right on the coffee table!) and veg out in front of the TV. I never turn the damn thing on anymore and every once in a while I really want to watch some crap like Judge Judy or Wheel of Fortune
Ellp's Avatar Ellp 02:52 AM 10-01-2010
I would love to go window shopping in the Ritzier parts of town without having to worry about strollers vs. carrier, snacks, possible potty locations, rain or sun, toys/books to keep them occupied.

I'd love to be able to take a book or a laptop to a local free Wi-Fi coffeeshop and sit and enjoy.

I'd love to be able to mealplan for stuff that *I* like to eat. At this point I don't think I would care to eat hamburgers, spaghetti or rice for a very long time. Bring on the salmon, crab, cocktail shrimp and Japanese food!

That said though, a lot of the things PP have said, I've now managed to do now that my kids are older. I can drink hot tea as my 3yo has discovered a love for it.: I can veg out in front of the TV as long as my show is followed up by an episode of Clifford. I can even eat junk food! As long as I share...
pranava's Avatar pranava 11:18 AM 10-01-2010
I would probably stand around, mind blank, blinking like I just stepped into the sunlight and think. . . OMG now what?! Honestly, I'd probably be in shock all day and sit around totally lost.
Karamom 07:05 PM 10-01-2010
-have a clean house that actually stayed clean for longer than 5 minutes. Wait, who am I kidding. My house is never clean for even 5min. So I guess have a clean house at all would be nice.

-Eat candy and not worry about setting a bad example.

-Run out of the house just to grab something without it taking 30 minutes to get everyone ready and into the car, into the store, out of the store, into the house.

-Doing lots of craft projects and leaving open projects out without it being strewn around the house or sharp objects being a danger.

-going to the bathroom without being interrupted.

-Talking on the phone without children screaming.
ElsieLC's Avatar ElsieLC 09:56 PM 10-01-2010
I have tears in my eyes! But I can't tell if they're from laughter or despair.
mummyofan's Avatar mummyofan 01:05 AM 10-02-2010
Go out in the evening, party like a rockstar at a karaoke bar, have sex with DH anywhere in the house, fall int o blissfull sleep and then lie in the next day, nursing a hangover/singing headache!

to be honest, that's in my dreams.... I'd probably barely have the energy to veg in front of the telly with DH and a bottle of wine.... but we do that anyway. Yup, i'm one exciting woman. haha.

I'd also probably be counting the mins before I got to see my 'babies' again (4 and 2) !!!
Learning_Mum's Avatar Learning_Mum 02:16 AM 10-02-2010
Right this second my big thing would be to sleep through the night uninterrupted and then sleep in! But like a real sleep in. Not one where I get woken at 6am by the kids and then get woken periodically after that until I get up.

Also, just have a whole day and night with DH. Just hanging out like we used to do. Cuddle, maybe see a movie or decide at 2pm that we'll watch a DVD or just decide to go out without thinking about food and sleep and if the kids are going to fall asleep on the way home and be up all night. Man that would be so nice. Kind of makes me want to cry in my sick, sleep deprived state!

Oh! And to actually be able to rest when I'm sick!
ChetMC's Avatar ChetMC 06:18 AM 10-02-2010
Quote:
Originally Posted by zinemama View Post
So...why aren't you getting the chance to do any of those things?

When the weekend rolls around, doesn't your dh volunteer to be the parent on duty for an afternoon while you go off and re-charge? Don't you get a break when he comes home from work?

I don't know how I would have made it through the early years of parenthood without a partner who took some of the load off like that.
My DH helps plenty, but we had four kids in five and a half years. We don't have an on duty and an off-duty parent. When he's home we split the work.

- Neither of us gets to pee with the bathroom door closed.

- Neither of us gets to have a snack without somebody asking for a bite.

- Neither of us have access to a bathroom that isn't full of bath toys, toothpaste smears, and little "crafts" made out of toilet paper squares.

- if somebody is going anywhere they try to take at least one child to reduce numbers for the other parent.

All that said, DH has had to work away from us twice in the last two years. Both times, he was on his own for four months and he was really lonely and bored.

What's hard is finding alone time for DH and I.
babelsgp's Avatar babelsgp 05:31 PM 10-05-2010
-finish a project, in entirety in one day
-not have to put away the scissors, needles, screwdriver, blade, etc. and then wonder where I put them to keep out of little hands
-having a house that doesn't have unfinished projects laying about
-having a house that is decorated for a TV episode

Can I get a maid, to pick up all toys, clothes, vacuum and do dishes everyday please? I just don't wanna.

This is the case of the let me have one day of the weekend off once or twice a month. A lot of you may not have the option, but see if you can get SOMETHING, otherwise I think it's coocoo for momma! You know those ladies that at 50 look all frizzled out and are nuts, well kids + house + kids + house + demanding husband = crazy woman. If I don't get time to myself, I get on edge really badly and snap easier, at DH or the girls, my tolerance is extremely reduced. Once DH and I realized it wasn't PMS, it was omg I cannot hear "mommy, can I/you..." once more before I put them to bed at 3pm for the night LOL. I absolutely love being a mom, but anyone can only handle so much!

I get a Saturday off once or twice a month, sometimes all day til like 7pm! Other times just until naptime around 1 on the weekends. I sleep in-real sleep. On the days I have until 7pm, I get bored, I don't clean, I don't do much, only what I want to do. If I take the car, I just do whatever, we don't have a lot of cash so a mani-pedi is out of the question but I can at least grocery shop/hardware store alone. (I montessori the girls-gotta buy lots of wood ) Yet I do find when I am actually alone, I forget what I went out to get, I miss being able to talk to someone about whatever it is I might be buying and I always end up shopping for the family. I'm in a daze and don't know what to do.

And weekend mornings are mine, I can sleep in, but I usually hear intermittant screaming, running, or have someone come in and touch my eyelids/ cheek.

When my first daughter was 2-3 and younger, she would sleep in with me, oh those were the days. My youngest wakes up early... now we all do.

This is why I fell in love, got married & had baby making sex. And this is what I think when I drive past the college, looking at the high maintenance young women, they look like that so they can have my life!
Quinalla's Avatar Quinalla 03:16 PM 10-06-2010
  • sleep
  • take a long shower
  • sleep
  • go see a movie
  • sleep
  • eat at a fancy restaurant
  • sleep
  • pee alone
  • sleep

I got a "break" this weekend actually as my parents came to visit and what I did was sleep in after handing an already fed and changed DD to my Mom and go to a fancy restaurant with my DH and my Mom after DD fell asleep and my Dad stayed home with her. It was nice! DH and I also occasionally take a day off work together and still send DD to daycare and have an "us" day. We usually sleep in (after taking her to daycare), get some errands/house stuff done that is 10023409582x easier without a crawling baby underfoot, eat out, and indulge in some computer games or a movie out, then pick her up from daycare early and have some nice family time at night since we are all recharged.

But yeah, I know I definitely need to recharge and I also make a point of giving myself at least 15-30 minutes every night after she goes to bed to do something that is just me, whether I read a book, veg out in front of the TV, take a long shower, etc. before I start tackling laundry/dishes/etc. And I also make sure to do something with DH too before going to bed so we get some couple time. Helps immensely!
Addie's Avatar Addie 04:09 PM 10-06-2010
That's easy - dinner out. At a gorgeous restaurant with DH. Cocktails, wine, multiple courses, dessert. Sigh.

A few new restaurants have opened in our city that I'd love to try, but it's not happening with a ten-month-old. Dining out used to be our main form of entertainment, and I miss it!
Kuba'sMama's Avatar Kuba'sMama 04:33 PM 10-06-2010
First of all; sleep! Sleep until I can't sleep no more, then lay in bed until *I* want to get up.

Have a slooooow coffee, with lots of refills (drink it while it's actually hot and fresh, and not cold and forgotten on some counter somewhere).

Go for a walk with my dog, browse through my favorite thrift stores for hours, maybe grab a bite to eat on the town.

Come home, cook up a nice *healthy* meal, that does not involve pasta!

Sit on my couch with my feet up, with my laptop and the tv on at the same time!

Go to bed way too late, because I know I can sleep as long as I want the next day!!

Nice to fantasize about, but I do love my life, sleep deprivation and all
shnitzel's Avatar shnitzel 06:34 PM 10-06-2010
Sleep until 12 stretched out in a bed all by myself.

Go out to a fancy restaurant to DH.

Coffee leisurely sipped in a coffee shop while reading.

Go clothes shopping.

DH has school Sunday morning and we both work Saturday morning. When DD was first born he would take her from me, let me sleep until 12 and set up breakfast with bagels and cream cheese.
phathui5's Avatar phathui5 11:21 PM 10-06-2010
... go on vacation without having to pay for six people do to everything.

... take college classes without having to coordinate childcare.

... heck, do anything without having to coordinate childcare.
Belia's Avatar Belia 11:33 PM 10-06-2010
I'm a worrier, so whenever I have had time in the past... hours or even a full day... I'm usually so keyed up about spending my time wisely and taking full advantage of it that I'm a nervous wreck the whole time, watching the clock and worrying about how much time I have left and stressing about how I'm wasting the day.

Yeah, I'm no fun at all.

What I've been craving lately is a nap after work. I used to do that a couple of times a week b/c I have to be at work so dang early, but it's impossible with our schedule. By Thursday I'm just EXHAUSTED.
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