Do you let dc play with sick kids? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 44 Old 10-04-2010, 09:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Specifically, kids with colds or other minor illnesses.

Ds1 has a neighbor friend who is occasionally sick, and his mom (also my friend) never gives me a heads up about it. I used to tell her when ds was sick, but she's always said she doesn't care, so I stopped. If I told her to give me a heads up, she would.

I'm just not sure about keeping ds from playing with his friend. They play nearly every day, and are "best friends," so he would really miss playing with him. Otoh, ds1 is in school and it would be a major bummer to have him miss, plus ds2 is 1yo and he's miserable to be around when he's sick.

wdyd?

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#2 of 44 Old 10-04-2010, 10:03 PM
 
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I don't if I can help it because it is very difficult to take time off when either of us is sick. Now that dd has had pneumonia after seeming like she was better I will also be even more careful about when I allow her to go back around people who may potential infect her with something else while her immune system is down.
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#3 of 44 Old 10-04-2010, 10:10 PM
 
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I don't, but for my middle dd a "cold" can turn into a lung infection that could land her in the hospital. That's an expensive playdate!!

I always try to give others heads up if any of my kids are feeling sick. They always seem to appreciate it.
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#4 of 44 Old 10-04-2010, 10:16 PM
 
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Sometimes, it depends on what is coming up in our lives. I appreciate a heads up and I always give one.

My advice may not be appropriate for you. That's ok. You are just fine how you are and I am the right kind of me.

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#5 of 44 Old 10-04-2010, 10:31 PM
 
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Depends on what you mean by "sick".

I care about vomiting, diarrhea and HIGH fevers. A runny nose or feeling a little bit under the weather? I don't mind and I wouldn't warn anyone about.
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#6 of 44 Old 10-04-2010, 10:44 PM
 
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Like JL83, I'm interested in vomiting and diarrhea. Usually if a kid has a high fever they don't feel like playing anyway... but yeah, super high fevers are worth mentioning too.

Our kids spend a lot of time on public transit. It would be silly for us to deny play dates over a runny nose and then to turn around and take the kids onto a crowded subway.

Our kids don't get sick much though. We have four kids ranging in age from 1 year to 6.5 years and I can count the number of prescriptions we've had filled on one hand with fingers left over. I might feel differently if I had a child who was prone to infections. I definitely try my best to respect parents who want the heads up.

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#7 of 44 Old 10-04-2010, 10:53 PM
 
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No way!
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#8 of 44 Old 10-04-2010, 10:53 PM
 
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I do let my kids play with children who have colds, as colds aren't a big deal for us.

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#9 of 44 Old 10-04-2010, 10:55 PM
 
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Yes. It's not an issue for me.

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#10 of 44 Old 10-04-2010, 11:01 PM
 
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Ugh. I'll say it bugs me when DD's friend comes over clearly sick. She stays the night at least once most weekends, which is fine and generally a fun time; however, I don't appreciate no one letting me know when she is ill (and shouldn't she be at home resting?). Friday night her mom dropped her off after they went out to eat, so it was after 8 pm. She sat on the couch and told DD, "my mom pretty much shoved a nasty cough drop down my throat in the car.". And I'm thinking huh? Really! Then she proceeds to have a nasty cough for the rest of the night . WTF!?

I wanted to send her home, but it got pretty late and I hate confrontation, so I just stayed rather annoyed. She said she'd been sick for a couple days, but had went to school. She was definitely calmer and more sedentary than usual. Knock on wood, but so far no one in my house seems to have a bug.

So, yeah - I guess I let them play with sick kids. But I don't like it, and think it's inconsiderate to not keep your cold-laden kid at home... or at least give a heads up.

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#11 of 44 Old 10-04-2010, 11:20 PM
 
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Generally, no. But, if it's just a runny nose and well, we're there, I try to suck it up (no pun intended). I just tell myself over and over and over that his immune system is getting a workout.
And if my child was sick too, even if it's just a runny nose, I'd let the other parents make the call if it was a playdate.
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#12 of 44 Old 10-04-2010, 11:40 PM
 
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I would let him, unless the kid has something really bad you don't want him to catch. You can't keep kids from getting sick and in my opinion it is useless and possibly even unhealthy to try. Let his immune system get a work out!
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#13 of 44 Old 10-04-2010, 11:47 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JL83 View Post
Depends on what you mean by "sick".

I care about vomiting, diarrhea and HIGH fevers. A runny nose or feeling a little bit under the weather? I don't mind and I wouldn't warn anyone about.
yeah. If we're talking a cold no I wouldn't stop it. A fever/puking I would.
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#14 of 44 Old 10-04-2010, 11:54 PM
 
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My nephews are often sick with colds and the like and while I appreciate knowing if they've got something DS could catch I don't stop them from playing together. (Hence why 7 of the 15 people got colds after DS's birthday )

That said, we DID bow out of family dinner last weekend when I heard one of them had pink eye and would definitely avoid a get-together if they had fever/diarrhea/vomiting. But in my part of the world people don't generally take their kids out if they're feeling that horrible anyway, so it's kind of a non-issue.

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#15 of 44 Old 10-05-2010, 12:05 AM
 
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a cold doesn't bother me- pukes, yeah no way.
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#16 of 44 Old 10-05-2010, 12:12 AM
 
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I try not to. I do give a heads up to our friends if the kids have a cold. I've had a few nasty colds this year, courtesy of the kids, so at the moment, I'm trying to avoid those too. My son is only 2, so it's not too much of an issue yet. I know I will for sure always let parents know when my kid is sick, no matter how minor it is, and hope they do the same for me.

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#17 of 44 Old 10-05-2010, 07:30 AM
 
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Minor illnesses like colds are fine for me. I look at it as building up their immune system and usually they are fine if the only issue is the sniffles and a cough. Early betimes for a few days usually does the trick. Dd1 goes to school and is going to get stuff and bring it home anyway.
Anything involving a fever for more than 2 days or stomach bugs with vomitting I appreciate a head's up. Because then it disrupts stuff. Bigger stuff obviously I would like to know, although I may actually want my kids to catch it. For example measles or rubella.

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#18 of 44 Old 10-05-2010, 07:45 AM
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If the kid is feeling up to playing then I figure it can't be too bad but if it is vomiting or diarrhea, then no. I was peeved when DD's classmate came to school less than 12 hours after vomiting. The neighborhood kids are out all the time here and there is just no way to keep DD away from sick kids. After the baby had a couple of colds, I stopped letting the neighborhood kids touch his hands and face if they were snotty.
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#19 of 44 Old 10-05-2010, 09:36 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JL83 View Post
Depends on what you mean by "sick".

I care about vomiting, diarrhea and HIGH fevers. A runny nose or feeling a little bit under the weather? I don't mind and I wouldn't warn anyone about.
This. Minor illness doesn't concern me. My kids will probably wind up with it at some point, anyway. I always let people know if my kids are sick at all, so they can make their own decision.
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#20 of 44 Old 10-05-2010, 10:17 AM
 
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I generally try to avoid doing much if the boys have a serious cold, but if they just have a runny nose or something we'll still go out to the park/playgroup/etc. And I don't care if they play with other little kids who also have minor colds. If they're throwing up or something yeah we avoid that. But minor colds?? Meh.
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#21 of 44 Old 10-05-2010, 11:11 AM
 
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Runny nose, ok.

Fever and cough, no. DD seems really susceptible to coughs, and they linger here, so if I can, I stay away.
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#22 of 44 Old 10-05-2010, 11:13 AM
 
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A fever or vomiting or something? No. A bad cold, like with a cough and fever? No. Sniffles and that kind of thing, sure.
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#23 of 44 Old 10-05-2010, 11:45 AM
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Generally, you are supposed to keep your kid home from school if they have vomited or run a fever in the past 24 hours and I'd go by that for playdates. Actually I wouldn't send my kid to someone's house where they'd been vomiting in the past several days because those bugs really linger.
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#24 of 44 Old 10-05-2010, 12:01 PM
 
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If your ds is playing with the neighbor boy most days, chances are he's getting exposed to whatever before the other mom even realizes he's sick.

I really hate getting sick and will avoid people with a bad cold or worse. But I don't try to control the situation with people we see all the time when it's just a mild cold. We'd never get together, otherwise. Plus, ds is always sniffly so I don't want to make a big deal and then present my sniffling child.

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#25 of 44 Old 10-05-2010, 12:05 PM
 
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Originally Posted by JL83 View Post
Depends on what you mean by "sick".

I care about vomiting, diarrhea and HIGH fevers. A runny nose or feeling a little bit under the weather? I don't mind and I wouldn't warn anyone about.


If it is contagious I would want a heads up because I have to work...And I don't want L getting sick if I can help it...If it isn't like a simple little cold I don't care...I think sometimes we need a few germs to keep us healthier in the long run..
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#26 of 44 Old 10-05-2010, 12:08 PM
 
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A normal cold is fine, but a high fever/vomiting is not good.

I base my decision on if I would send the kid to school with it. If I would feel comfortable sending that child to school, then it's OK to play with them.

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#27 of 44 Old 10-05-2010, 01:55 PM
 
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Colds aren't a huge thing for me when it comes to DS1, he gets over them quickly and with little problems. DS2 has asthma and it's a major pain to have to deal with that once the cold settles in his chest. Last big cold, he ended up in the hospital, as did I in my wonderful pregnant glory. Really though, there is little I can do to prevent them, since chances are if their friends have a cold, it's gone around their school and they likely have it too. Still, I like to try and avoid them if I can.

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#28 of 44 Old 10-05-2010, 03:16 PM
 
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I prefer my DD not play with sick kids. A runny nose I don't mind but a constant cough,fever, the runs, etc no.
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#29 of 44 Old 10-05-2010, 04:18 PM
 
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If they are kids we see all the time anyway, I figure we were likely exposed before the friends became symptomatic. So as long as the kid is well enough to be out & about (i.e. not feverish or weak or hacking up a lung) then I don't limit interactions. If they are clearly too sick to be out then yes, I would limit interactions. I also don't like when people we don't see often show up to our house sick. Maybe that's a double-standard... but to me it's bringing foreign germs over and I mentally feel the 'foreign germs' are more dangerous than the ones we're constantly exposed to. Now that I write that out, I think it sounds a bit crazy though lol

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#30 of 44 Old 10-05-2010, 04:24 PM
 
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it depends on how sick they are and how much we like them. favorite friends with a snotty nose, maybe a little cough. its cool, we'll hang out. once in a whle friends with that, nah, maybe next time. good friend with a fever? nope, see you later.

i do, though, hate when ANYONE brings a knowingly sick kid somewhere. i have had phone calls before playdates form friends who say, X woke up with a snotty nose and no fever, wanna still play? chances are, i will, but to not inform before bringing a sick kid makes me irate.

also, there are friends that i know have serious asthma issues and so i will not knowingly expose them if we have even little colds. their mom is usually cool with little colds ( i mean its everywhere anyway) but i don't like knowing she got a cold (which required her asthma treatment) because of us.
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