I say go for it.....but you can see why I say that....lol
Mom to three boys 7/7/00 11/20/02 and 10/29/2011
Writing at: http://paisleymama.blogspot.com/ and other places!
We do have a will drawn up, with arrangements made for our son should something happen to us.
Here's what I know: DH is an amazing dad who is present every day in his childrens' lives. He loves them and gives them everything they could ask for in a father.
Here's what I don't know: How long either of us will live. We could perish in a car crash tomorrow. My cousin did just that at 34 and left behind his wife and triplets.
Starting age is no guarantee of a long life with your kids. We just never know. I think it's more important to look at the quality of the parent. There are lots of young men out there fathering kids left and right who never see or care for them.
As for me, my mom had me at 36 which was considered quite late in the 60s. She died of cancer when she was 52 and I was 16... but you know what? I have never once in my life (even at 16) not been clear that she was an AWESOME mom, and that even 16 yrs with her was better than a lifetime with another mom who wasn't her. I have never felt abandoned, and never felt not loved and cherished by her. Of course I wish she was still alive - would much rather have her here today than not! But I believe that whenever it's our time to go, if we've been the best parents we can be, it makes a huge difference in our kids lives, whatever age they are when we pass.
In other words... if you've made back up plans in case of emergency and you're feeling good... go for it!
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Unassisted birthing, atheist, WOHM to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids 17, 11, 6, 3
just because you are 27 doesnt mean you will see 30.
just coz your dh is 62 doesnt mean he WONT see 90.
Many years ago, my grandmother had a friend, who was in her lat 80s. The friend had a daughter who was in her late 50s. GM's friend was perfectly healthy, able to get around, and in fully mentally capable. She was caring for her daughter again, b/c her daughter had Alzheimer's. There just are no guarantees in life.
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yslexic typing with help of preschooler, beware of typos
I was raised by my grandparents from the age of 2, who themselves were older when my mother, their only child, was born. They were in their early 80's by the time I was grown and fully independent. My grandfather passed 4 years ago at 98, my grandmother is still alive and kickin and will be 101 in February. She has always said that having me to raise kept her young and kept her alive through 2 battles with cancer and her only child having passed very young. They were great to me. I don't want to be quite that old, but I know it can be done, and done admirably at that!
I'd say if he's okay with having another child in his 40's, go for it! You'll have drawbacks in every situation. Being a younger parent has them too, and there's actually very few years which are considered fully, nearly universally "acceptable" in western culture, in which to have children. "Under 30 is way too young, 33 is a bit early, 35 is getting old and 40 is practically child abuse!" It's all noise. If you both want another child and you're in a decent situation in which to have one, his age shouldn't stop you any!
Good luck in making your decisions as a family!
Personally, I'm not a fan of having children super-early. It makes completing an education and beginning a career more difficult. So I chose to wait.
But I also worry about genetic risks and down syndrome. The risk increases as women pass age 40. I will take the next child that we get, I just worry a little about risk.
I have brothers who were born when my parents were in their late 30's. One is in college now, the other a senior in high school. Mom passed away last spring, and the college student had to retake English over the summer. It's hard, but children and young adults can be resilient. And there is no guarantee that it will happen that way for anyone else.
I also have an aunt & uncle with small children. I think their birth child was born when she was in her 40s. They seem to be a very loving, mostly-happy family.
I would say when a woman's body decides it's time to stop being fertile, then it is time to stop having children. Any other time before that is none of anyone else's business.
I am 42 and pregnant with my 5th child. All is well and we are able to provide for this babe and although he was a big surprise, he is wanted and already loved and a welcome addition to our busy, chaotic lives.
The sea monkey has my money.
I just wanted to come back on here and say that apparently this thread didn't matter all that much since I was probably already pregnant again when I posted it... just got a BFP tonight! Totally unexpected! But we are very grateful!
I was coming on to add...dh was raised by his grandparents. His gran passed away last year at 90. She thought it wonderful we were in our 30s (34)when we had ds. She had her oldest when in her early 20s and then the other 2 in her 30s. She said she loved having children in her 30s even more than 20s.
Sadly, Jan 21, 2011 m/c 6w5d
But your situation is different, for you are in your 20's even though your husband is around my age. You will still have the energy, health, and earning power to do it.
editing to add "congratulations!", just read your post. That's awesome!
OP, congratulations! And I just wanted to say, I can commiserate. My DH is 17 years older than me, and I have had all the same thoughts. I've often questioned if we should even entertain the idea of having more kids. It's not a possibility at this point, but.... I really don't know what the right answer is for us, but I know that it's definitely not a situation where, at your DH's current age, no one should go on to have more kids.
Do you have a loving community or tribe in which to share this child? Do you have younger guardians picked out in case something should happen to both of you before your new child turns 21?
If you can honestly say yes to both these things, then go for it. If you are introverted misanthropes who live a life away from others then I don't think it is fair to the new little person given your ages.
And I think this is REALLY harsh. My DH and I aren't introverts, but our families are lacking something to be desired. We have two kids now, and truthfully, if something happened to both DH and I, our kids would be totally screwed. So.... We shouldn't have had any kids then?
ahhh my fil is 52 and his new wife is 44 they have two children together 2 1/2 and 8 months.... and they are trying for a third....
they aren't too old..
congrats on the BFP
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