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Old 10-31-2010, 06:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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2010 Mums of Many Threads:

Mums of Many - October
http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1267168
Mums of Many - September
http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1258259
Mums of Many - August
http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1249149
Mums of Many - July
http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1239712
Mums of Many - June
http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1229724
Mums of Many - May
http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1220205
Mums of Many – April
http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1210515
Mums of Many – March
http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1200838
Mums of Many - February
http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1190429
Mom’s of Many – January
http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1177896

Sam, mum to: Ian, James, Lottie, Maddy, Jack, Ruby, Bronte & Sophia and Nate
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Old 11-01-2010, 03:50 AM
 
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Old 11-01-2010, 09:01 AM
 
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Old 11-02-2010, 06:07 PM
 
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Hate when I post at the end of the month! I'm reposting here-

I think we are strict but that doesn't mean that the kids behave!!!!!!!!!
I don't tolerate bad behavior (cussing, hurting siblings, etc) but that doesn't mean they don't do those things!! So frustrated lately, seems like all they do is bug me for food, bicker, and complain about everything!!! I'm definitely having a "omg why did i have all these naughty kids???!!!" moment right now!

Baby is great, though. He's just sweet and smiley and perfect : ) for now...

How do you ENFORCE intolerance of bad behavior? My kids don't seem to respond to consequences, even consistent consequences. Like if I ground them or send them to time out or whatever, it doesn't change what choice they make next time! I wish I knew how to change their behavior. I wish we were a pleasant big family...why do I think that exists? Where everyone is glad to have friends in the family to play with and does creative fun things together? I feel like we were like that and now it's just bicker, fight and bicker more! What happened????? And will it be like this forever??????

JENNY, 38~ preschool teacher, birth activist, sun worshiper, singer, married for 17 years and mom to

Karan 15, Fiona 12, Bodhi 10, Bjorn 6, Devon 3, and Robin Taylor born January 16th!

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Old 11-02-2010, 10:10 PM
 
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Any misspellings or grammatical errors in the above statement are intentional;
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
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Old 11-03-2010, 11:58 PM
 
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Wendy,loving wife to Brian, happy mama of Trinity(15), Christian(15), Gavin(13), Logan(11), Griffon(9),Jubilee(7), Epiphany (4), and Lucian Danger( born 18 April 12) <3
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Old 11-04-2010, 03:36 AM
 
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Jenny,

Sorry you are going through a tough time.

I feel a little silly offering this story - I'm hardly the most experienced Mama here, especially in this group! But here I go . . .

I have found that usually poor behavior is a cry for attention. So last month when we were having similar problems, my spouse and I met with another mom at our school who counsels families. She suggested working closely with the "aggressor" - making sure he was getting what he needed. She was sure that his picking on his siblings was to make others hurt because he was hurting. Our remedy was to re-institute family meetings, have some one-on-one time with each child each week to do what they want to do, and to have several eye-to-eye moments with him each day to say "I love you" - "I missed you" - "Glad you are home" - "Thanks for helping me when I needed it" - whatever.

I didn't think it would be resolved so easily (not that one-on-one time is easily found!) But everything has improved - his efforts at school, his relations with siblings, his interactions with all of us.

Keep us posted. I'm guessing it wasn't just one day since you re-posted your comment.

Tiffany

Teacher, Mother of 4
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Old 11-04-2010, 05:47 PM
 
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Thanks, Tif Paul.
Unfortunately I think a lot of it has to do with dad. The difficult behavior is almost always right before he gets home from work, during dinner and afterwards. They are very clear about expressing that dad is hardly home, that they miss him, etc. Unfortunately as well, there's really nothing dad can do about that! He offers them all his attention when he is home, we have clear rhythms and expectations, and I do make a point to give one-on-one attention. Perhaps our kids need more attention than we are able to give?

JENNY, 38~ preschool teacher, birth activist, sun worshiper, singer, married for 17 years and mom to

Karan 15, Fiona 12, Bodhi 10, Bjorn 6, Devon 3, and Robin Taylor born January 16th!

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Old 11-04-2010, 10:59 PM
 
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Hi!!
I just discovered this thread. We have 6 ranging from 13 down to 2 and are expecting twins late winter/early spring. I am a SAHM. Dad works full time and is in school full time, so I spend a lot of time parenting by myself, it feels like. It will be nice to connect with other moms with lots of kids!

Mom to eight!!  Our twin girls arrived 3-3-2011.

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Old 11-05-2010, 05:52 PM
 
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Perhaps our kids need more attention than we are able to give?

I always feel like that's the case! It's really hard to have dad gone a lot. I mean, when my husband gets home 20 minutes late, it's a disaster.

Teacher, Mother of 4
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Old 11-06-2010, 04:50 PM
 
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It is a challenge for giving each of them all of the attention they need.

I'm really struggling with name this time around. Any of you find it harder with each child?

Michelle: wife to J, mom to M (2001), E (2003), C (2005), S (2007) and O! (2009) And someone new in 2011!
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Old 11-13-2010, 11:02 AM
 
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 Mama to my tribe
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Old 11-13-2010, 05:04 PM
 
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Hi there, I haven't been here for a while (trying to spend less time online) but I hope everyone is well.

 

I just posted this under parenting but I thought some of you might have some advice.

 

Simplicity Parenting by  Kim John Payne

 

I just started reading Simplicity Parenting by  Kim John Payne, and it has really given me pause. That said, I'm struggling with how to apply its principles. Our toys a pretty pared down at this point, as are clothes. I'd never pare down books. Ever. But we have five kids and the book seemed to be written with smaller familes in mind. It really is a trick to balance the needs of older and younger kids, to have down time but still let kids try things (like ice skating or violin).

 

Anyone BTDT? I am really struggling with how busy we all are, but I'm having a hard time figuring out what to cut out. My older kids are serious swimmers (for their age). Since I am at the pool 2-3 times a week, I have my younger kids in lessons 2X a week, and then we stay and play for free swim. We all love music. But the weekly piano lessons for #1,2,3 take a lot of time, as does the practice. We also do one foreign language lesson a week (we lived abroad and we didn't want the kids to lose their second language, which was hard-won). So there we go. Fully booked. We don't have tv or watch movies, which helps since they do have time to play, but not as much as they want or need.

 

Anyway, advice? I'm with the author in principal but having trouble figuring out how to get there in practice.


Happy mom to DS2000, DS2002, DD2004, DS2006 and DS 10/2009:
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Old 11-13-2010, 11:00 PM
 
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Doop doopty doo........ I don't really have anything to say. I just wanted to make sure I subbed. I think I missed October completely.

 

We just got our first ever puppy. What a crazy household we are now with all the kids AND this rambunctious new sharp-toothed puppy! It's craziness all around. I love it. orngbiggrin.gif

 

It's nice to see you SuzieK!

 

Welcome mylilmonkeys!


North Idaho rural living  mama to: 23 yo DD, 16 yo DS, 8 yo DS, 6 yo DS, 4 yr old DS, 2 yo DD, and 1 yo DS. And someone new coming this Christmas!
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Old 11-14-2010, 07:34 AM
 
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Hello,

Just wanting to step in and wave hello.

 

Feeling very wobbly, but wanting to find community here.


x Shoshana x
 
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missing Julianne ribbonpb.gif  August 1994, Benjamin ribbonpb.gif  March 2001 and Rachel & Leah ribbonpb.gifribbonpb.gif  November 2010... longing for more babies. grouphug.gif
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Old 11-14-2010, 08:50 AM
 
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Hey, mamas! I'm just hanging tight here, waiting to have babies. Right now, I REALLY appreciate being a MoM because my older two have been such a huge help and blessing through this whole pregnancy. The two oldest are only 11 and 9, but they have stepped up in ways I never would have dreamed. I will say that I think after the babies are born, I would like to be done. But I'm 38 and we don't use artificial birth control, and I have a feeling there might end up being one more. It couldn't possibly be as difficult as this pregnancy. Then again, with my luck I would end up with quads or something.

 

My blood pressure is up, and I'm on meds three times a day for that. They make me kind of loopy. I also have to go in to L&D 2 or 3 times a week for NSTs. The babies are doing great; they're just kind of sucking the life out of me. My iron is low, as is my potassium and B12. I am 37 weeks tomorrow. I am so hoping to last through the end of the week so I can take the older two to see Deathly Hallows. After that, the babies can come whenever they please. My goal all along was to make it to at least 38 weeks.

 

RE: Having time for each child. I haven't felt like it's been a huge issue so far, but my large family is "only" 4 and my kids are all still rather young. I do find that I have to be intentional. For a while, DH and I would take turns and every other month we would do something little with each child, even if it was just running errands tomorrow, With me being practically on bedrest, there's been lots of one on one time for cuddling and snuggling on the bed. I try to have a special thing I do with each kid-- with Katie Grace, we watch the Duggars every Tuesday night. Daniel and I have a nightly date to read nursery rhymes. Stuff like that. I have a schedule in the kitchen (not that I have cooked in months :rolleyes) that guarantees each child has some one on one time with me once a week, even though they might not like helping in the kitchen very much, LOL!

 

RE: Simplicity Parenting. I've just started it, but I definitely see it more as a guidebook than a formula, if you know what I mean. You take what will work for you and use the rest. I don't think a large family can ever be truly simple, because there's just too much going on. Even if each child just does one thing, it adds up.


Flowers, fairies, gardens, and rainbows-- Seasons of Joy: 10 weeks of crafts, handwork, painting, coloring, circle time, fairy tales, and more!
Check out the blog for family fun, homeschooling, books, simple living, and 6 fabulous children, including twin toddlers

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Old 11-14-2010, 07:31 PM
 
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I think I will join in the conversation this month. We are expecting number 5. We have three boys a girl and this will be another boy. I was kind of hoping for another girl.

I am reading simplicity parenting. I think it is aimed at more mainstream families. We are Waldorf inspired and I think many people wouldn't even see how many Waldorf thoughts were part of the book. I really enjoy it. I think it is one of those inspiring things for me. I am, always useless in pregnancy. So, around the half way mark I try to get out a good book or something new to inspire me. I need that push to be a good mom.

We go to the gym 3 or 4 days a week for swimming, classes, and lessons. It has been really good for us. It does interrupt some days, but I think it has been good for us. We live in Washington State and I have a hard time with the winters here.

we outdid ourselves with our first son's name. So, we had to keep going. I think we have a first name picked out. But, my husband wants the middle name Tower. I thought he was joking. I am not that crunchy.

I need to put a pick up now, I guess. I tried but I can't seem to do it on the Ipad.

Dready Homeschooling Mom 

17 yob

14 yob

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Old 11-15-2010, 10:27 AM
 
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Hi!  I'm new 'round the parts but guess that I now am beginning to consider myself a Mom of Many.  We just found out we're pregnant with #7.  Somehow 6 seemed pretty normal to me, yeah a lot, but still in the "average" range.  (I don't know anyone else with more than 4, but somehow, it didn't translate to a "large family" in my head.ROTFLMAO.gif)  7 seems much more intimidating and real to me.  I don't know why.  We live in Middle TN and have 3 girls and 3 boys ranging from 11 to almost 2.  This newest little one is due on 4th of July.

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Old 11-16-2010, 07:54 AM
 
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Old 11-16-2010, 11:33 AM
 
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I don't feel like I have trouble making time for each of my older three, but I feel bad for the baby.  He doesn't like the sling, so that means he's usually in the baby swing during the day.  I change him and nurse him and snuggle and then I have to put him back down to get back to cooking, cleaning, homeschooling, etc.  He seems happy enough (and we co-sleep at night) but I feel like I'm shortchanging him.  I hope he warms up to the sling soon :/

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Old 11-19-2010, 01:26 PM
 
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I am happy to have found this group!!  I feel this may be a great spot for a wealth of information and experience!!!  I am 29 and my DH is 32, we have 5 dc and are expecting #6 in June 2011.  Our oldest DD will be 10, then we have 3 boys, 7, 5 and 3, and our youngest dd is a year old.   I am getting very nervous about this one coming in the summer since all of the dc will be home from school (3 of them are in public school.)  All of my other babies were born in fall/winter months, so this will definately be new to me!  The other worry of course is off-season clothing.  I will probably have to find all new baby clothing.......either at a consignment shop or whatnot, which is what I had to do for maternity clothes as well. 

 

I can relate with your comments about unruly and unacceptable behavior.  My oldest seems to cause the most issues with the name calling, which I HATE!!! 

I would be interested in what other books/techniques you all have to reccommend!

 

Katie~Just wanted to say, I'm sure your baby is not missing anything yet ; ).  My LO was a breast baby from the moment she was born until about 9 mos!!!  It was really hard attending to my older dc as well as my household duties when it felt like I was nursing 24/7!!!  Even when she would sleep, she would wake when I laid her down, so enjoy the fact that your lo likes the swing and can give your arms and your back a break for now lol!  I feel like now that she's a year old, I'm still playing catch up with the house since of course that came last on the list!  I went from having a "laundry day" in which I had a basket for the big boys, the adults, one for my dd and one for my 2 yo, so about 7 loads total a week (plus blankets of course.)  To today I have an overload of 2 baskets downstairs of "whatever," extra soiled stuff, towels, blankets, etc, and all of their baskets and closets are overflowing!!!!  My walls and fans haven't been cleaned in like 18 mos and my poor carpets are in desperate need of being deep cleaned!!!  Man, this is getting long lol! Just wanted to say do what works for now, and if your lo seems content, then just "go with the flow" : )!! 


Jessica knit.gif and familybed2.gif mamma to dd 9/09, ds 10/07, ds 2/05, angel1.gif10/03, ds 3/03, dd 12/00, expecting #6  2ndtri.gif  in June 2011. Furrbabies: 2 dogs, 4 cats, and 5 guinnea pigs
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Old 11-20-2010, 08:48 PM
 
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subbing!

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Old 11-20-2010, 09:05 PM
 
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Subbing also, so glad to have found this thread! We only have four right now but would love a couple more kiddos....

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Old 11-20-2010, 09:31 PM
 
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Subbing as well.  We have twin daughters (11), ds (8), ds (5), ds (3) and one due any day now (don't know if it's a boy or girl).  We homeschool and live in a tiny 2/1 house, so we are VERY close. :D.


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Old 11-20-2010, 10:14 PM
 
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First, what's up with the mothering.com format?  Has everyone else's changed too or did I screw it up somehow??  I hate it!

 

Second, I hear you Katie!  Sometime I just want to cry b/c I haven't had the chance to snuggle my baby in so long!  I have to just retreat into my room with him and lock the door sometimes to get time with him!  The other kids are all over him, and he's in the swing a lot too when I'm cooking and cleaning mostly.  He seems to be fine with it but I get emotional about it.

 

Third, we are still really struggling with our 11 yr old's behavior.  He's always been "challenging" but the level of disregard for authority and disrespect is just too much.  There's been some incidences with matches lately and I'm feeling nervous and just plain don't like that he is so untrustworthy!  We don't have trouble with the other kids like this.  We really think our parenting is right on and just don't know what to do with him!  Anyone been there?  What did you do?  

 

It was my birthday yesterday and we ended up eating pie in my bed with the younger kids and leaving him downstairs in his room wailing and spouting rudeness b/c we grounded him for using matches without permission.  I know it's developmentally appropriate to be self centered, but really!!!!!!!  


JENNY, 38~ preschool teacher, birth activist, sun worshiper, singer, married for 17 years and mom to

Karan 15, Fiona 12, Bodhi 10, Bjorn 6, Devon 3, and Robin Taylor born January 16th!

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Old 11-21-2010, 08:09 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CherryBomb View Post

I don't feel like I have trouble making time for each of my older three, but I feel bad for the baby.  He doesn't like the sling, so that means he's usually in the baby swing during the day.  I change him and nurse him and snuggle and then I have to put him back down to get back to cooking, cleaning, homeschooling, etc.  He seems happy enough (and we co-sleep at night) but I feel like I'm shortchanging him.  I hope he warms up to the sling soon :/



Have you tried other carriers? My fourth and fifth both hated the sling for a while. My fourth loved the ergo (with her legs frogged up) and my fifth loves the wrap and baby k'tan which is my new favorite carrier. He likes to have his legs free and has since he was just a few weeks old. My fourth decided she liked the sling when she was old enough to be on my hip but still prefers the Ergo at 2.

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Old 11-21-2010, 09:54 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mbhf View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by CherryBomb View Post

I don't feel like I have trouble making time for each of my older three, but I feel bad for the baby.  He doesn't like the sling, so that means he's usually in the baby swing during the day.  I change him and nurse him and snuggle and then I have to put him back down to get back to cooking, cleaning, homeschooling, etc.  He seems happy enough (and we co-sleep at night) but I feel like I'm shortchanging him.  I hope he warms up to the sling soon :/



Have you tried other carriers? My fourth and fifth both hated the sling for a while. My fourth loved the ergo (with her legs frogged up) and my fifth loves the wrap and baby k'tan which is my new favorite carrier. He likes to have his legs free and has since he was just a few weeks old. My fourth decided she liked the sling when she was old enough to be on my hip but still prefers the Ergo at 2.


 

My youngest,my fourth,now 9 months, hated carriers when he was smaller also. Mostly the moby, he would tolerate the ergo for a short time, and he is always in it when we go out so has gotten used to it for outings. (it's kind of funny actually because he really just wants to be held, so if he gets fussy I just have to uncip the ergo and lift him like two inchessmile.gif) When he was a little smaller he would spend a fair amount of time in an excersaucer during busier times like making dinner, but now that he is mobile he resists all types of containment.  Like pps I have struggled with feeling like I am neglecting my baby a bit since I can't spend a whole lot of time laying around gazing into his eyes or anything. Of course, he nurses very frequently still so we have that time, we cosleep and we do have times we play together or snuggle or nurse/rock to sleep etc, but it is a busier kind of interaction, nothing like those lazy days of bonding with my first. To be honest though, he is my happiest baby, he has a really mellow personality and just a pretty contented soul. It helps to remind myself of what he has, instead of what he doesn't, a house FULL of family who love him like mad.

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Old 11-22-2010, 01:10 AM
 
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Subbing too, thanks to CherryBomb for directing me here! I am wife to my DH for 9 years and we are the parents of three boys (8, 5, and 3) and a daughter, whose first birthday is this week! She was born the day after Thanksgiving last year. Our children are homeschooled from the beginning. 


Mama to DS (10), DS (8), DS (5), DD (3), & DD (6 months).
Lucky Wife to My Techy DH for 11 years.
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Connection Parenting, Life Learning, our LDS faith.
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Old 11-24-2010, 02:59 PM
 
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If you look on the December 2010 thread, it says Annette had her babies, but she is in the ICU.  Many prayers of support to her and her family.


Michelle: wife to J, mom to M (2001), E (2003), C (2005), S (2007) and O! (2009) And someone new in 2011!
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Old 11-24-2010, 11:34 PM
 
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Yes!  I saw Annette had her babies, I think she is doing a bit better herself today thank heavens.

 

Hi to all the new MOMs!

 

I haven't been around for a while, just busy of course.  The baby does not like to be put down.  It's hard for me as Durian was such an "easy" baby.  Very independent, liked to sit and play.  Elm does not.   If I put him down and walk two steps away he's screaming.

 

I'm struggling a bit myself these day with the "big" family.  I'm a bit of a neat freak, and with all the kids I'm going a bit insane with the mess.  Dh is little help at best.  I'm seriously considering hiring someone but then I feel guilty about that.  Argh.  I'm thinking sister wives would be a great idea.

 

Kat


treehugger.gif Kat- mama to 6 little trees
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