Things I should never have to say... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 72 Old 11-02-2010, 02:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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But had to...

"Did you FLUSH before you decided to play in the water?"

"STOP playing with the dogs poopy"

"How did you fit THAT into the drain?"


OK so make me feel better. This is my 4 yr. old and I swear he's just now going through the terrible 2's.


What are some of the things you never thought you'd have to say but have found yourself saying to your kids.

Wife to dh since 1999, stepmom to dss (13 yrs. old)jammin.gif, mom to ds (9 yrs. old)bikenew.gif, dd (7 yrs. old)bouncy.gif, and ds (4 yrs. old)sleepytime.gif
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#2 of 72 Old 11-02-2010, 02:25 PM
 
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You MUST have clothes on to leave the house.

No the cat is NOT a chew toy
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#3 of 72 Old 11-02-2010, 02:46 PM
 
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"Please don't lick the walls."

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#4 of 72 Old 11-02-2010, 02:55 PM
 
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Please don't use my bra to carry your legos around.
It is not ok to stick raisins in your sister's bellybutton.

Very blessed mama to one bouncin' boy bouncy.gif (12/07) one angel3.gif who didn't get to stay (6/09), one potty learning, mess making divaenergy.gif(4/10), and one cheerful milk monster. aabfwoman.gif (12/11) Happy partner to the love of my lifedp_malesling.GIF.  

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#5 of 72 Old 11-02-2010, 02:56 PM
 
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"Don't put rocks in your foreskin! Actually, don't put ANYTHING in there."
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#6 of 72 Old 11-02-2010, 04:06 PM
 
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Please dont put your dinasour in your butt. Thank you.
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#7 of 72 Old 11-02-2010, 04:12 PM
 
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Stop kissing that caterpillar.
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#8 of 72 Old 11-02-2010, 09:03 PM
 
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Yesterday. "Please, don't lick the dog."

biggrinbounce.gifDS 10/09  sleepytime.gifDS 2/17/11 stork-suprise.gif Blessing #3 sometime 2/13

 

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#9 of 72 Old 11-02-2010, 09:09 PM
 
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"Do not pick your sister's nose."

lady.gifMama to DS banana.gif(5) and DD broc1.gif(2)
 

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#10 of 72 Old 11-02-2010, 09:09 PM
 
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Any misspellings or grammatical errors in the above statement are intentional;
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
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#11 of 72 Old 11-02-2010, 09:35 PM
 
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"No, it is not ok to wipe snots on your brother!"
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#12 of 72 Old 11-02-2010, 09:47 PM
 
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"Stop chewing on the entertainment center."

Katreena, peace.gif 39 year old Alaskan treehugger.gif Mama to 1 hearts.gif and 1 lady.gif gd.gif
 
 
 
 

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#13 of 72 Old 11-02-2010, 09:50 PM
 
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"No, I will not lie down spreadeagled so that you can 'look up me' to see the baby."
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#14 of 72 Old 11-02-2010, 09:54 PM
 
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No -- "Mommy" is not the name grandma gave me when I was born - I actually have "another" name
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#15 of 72 Old 11-03-2010, 01:48 AM
 
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Please don't put things up your bottom. Things come out bottoms, not go up them.

The rubbish is not a toy!

Stop licking the window!

I know there are more, but I can't remember any at the moment! There have been too many times over the years that I think to myself "I shouldn't have to say that!"

It's complicated.
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#16 of 72 Old 11-03-2010, 02:42 AM
 
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"Take your fork out of your ear."

30 seconds later...

"Honey! Take your fork out of your armpit!"

DH & Me + DS(7)  DD(6)  DD(4)  DS(3)  DD(1)  
 
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#17 of 72 Old 11-03-2010, 02:53 AM
 
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"Keep your hands away from your brother's bum!"

"Stop chasing the chickens with the fish net!"

"So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world." - Jack Layton
 
 
 
   

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#18 of 72 Old 11-03-2010, 03:13 AM
 
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These are hilarious.

Alicia, wife to an loving and faithful DH, and mama to three fantastic though nutty children (cs, then an HBAC, then a VBAC!!).
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#19 of 72 Old 11-03-2010, 09:30 AM
 
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"Do not pick your nose, and really dont eat it!"

Seriously? I cannot believe my kid is a booger eater.
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#20 of 72 Old 11-03-2010, 11:34 AM
 
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"Quit sticking that fork up your nose!"


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#21 of 72 Old 11-03-2010, 11:41 AM
 
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Do NOT flip the laundry basket over your brothers head and sit on it!
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#22 of 72 Old 11-03-2010, 11:44 AM
 
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Your brother is NOT a target!

Don't squeeze the dog!

and my personal favorite, "please, PLEASE, don't feel me up!" My last little one loves the boobies

Solo Mum to 4 and loving every minute of it!!!!
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#23 of 72 Old 11-03-2010, 11:58 AM
 
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no you may not touch my bum.
please dont eat my shoe
we do not eat light bulbs
please stop poking your brother with your penis

Annemarie ~catholic mom of 8 -4 boys (19-16-10-7).Emma)2 girls (3 and 1)Someone new due in April too!An yes I Blog @ You Leave me breadless blog
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#24 of 72 Old 11-03-2010, 12:10 PM
 
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No, we do not want to see your penis.

No, I do not think that man (precinct judge at the polling place), wants you to trim the hair in his ears with your laser (penlight).

Please do not save the poop in the potty so I can see how big it is.

No you can not feed the baby in my tummy by putting goldfish in my bellybutton.

Wife to M , Mommy to DS aka Captain Obvious  (06/06) and DD aka Lissalot  (03/09, anoxic brain injury)
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#25 of 72 Old 11-03-2010, 12:22 PM
 
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"How in the hell did you fit this bean all the way up your nose?!"

"STOP playing with my nipple!!"- To DS(3.5) who is still nursing, and thinks my boobs are his lovie.

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#26 of 72 Old 11-03-2010, 12:29 PM
 
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Your baby sister is NOT a TOY. Please do not treat her like one!

Melissa Andrew dd1 dd2 dd3 and
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#27 of 72 Old 11-03-2010, 01:10 PM
 
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All of these had me laughing. Ah...toddlers.

Some of mine are:

No, we don't wipe boogers on the furniture.
Please get your finger out of your bum.
No, I don't want to smell it.
Quit pulling on your brother's penis...you have your own.

And...quit tea-bagging your father. Actually we didn't say that but that's what happened. Our 3 year old and 21 month old were running around naked after bath time and when Daddy got down on the floor to play with them...the 3 year old promptly climbed on his head and pushed his penis and scrotum on him. We laughed for a good 5 minutes which only encouraged more pouncing and fits of giggles from both little boys.

Good times....!!!

The sea monkey has my money.

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#28 of 72 Old 11-03-2010, 03:25 PM
 
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Don't put the bear in your pants.
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#29 of 72 Old 11-03-2010, 04:15 PM
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Please stop swallowing pennies. Yes, I know you've never done it before but it's not really something to try.

Please stop stretching your penis like that, you're making daddy squirm.

No, I'm not kissing your butt. Yes, I know you hurt it but I do not kiss parts that are covered by your underwear.

Following a truly disgusted look on then toddler's face: Yes, poop tastes bad, please don't try and push it back into your diaper again, kay.
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#30 of 72 Old 11-03-2010, 04:20 PM
 
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To my teens and pre-teens:

"Please take a shower. Make sure you use soap and shampoo."

Annie wife v2.0 to DH and joyfully parenting DSS 18 jog.gif, DSD 15 knit.gif, DSD 14 banana.gif, DSS 12bikenew.gifand heart hero DD 2superhero.gif. angel1.gif 8/2010

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