6yo DS having hard time with 1yo DD - Mothering Forums

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Old 11-04-2010, 09:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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DS, a young 6, is having lots of trouble living with my 17 month old. The baby is very active, very loud and always wants to be doing what big brother is doing.

DS is the opposite. He like to sit and think, build blocks, do art...

Problem is, DS HATES being alone. He won't play in his room and hates being more than 10 feet from someone at all times. (Of course this doesn't include the little one)

I've made DS a special area in the living room that is all his own, baby can't get in it and he can do whatever he wants in there. It worked for a few weeks, but the novelty has worn off and he won't go in there.

DS cries as soon as he gets in the car from school because he "hates his sister" and doesn't want to come home. He begs to stay with my parents as much as possible to get away from her

I try to make it fun for him to have a little sister, do fun things together... I spend as much special time with him as I can as well, although that doesn't happen as much as either of us would like.

So I need some ideas on how to help him adjust to having such a super mobile, spirited little sister.

Please tell me this will get better???? Anythin at all I can do to facilitate that??
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Old 11-04-2010, 10:21 PM
 
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Man, hugs to you. Mine are closer together, but the same problem. My older child doesn't want to be alone (terrified!), but just doesn't want her into his business. Ever. Nearly three years into it, he still regularly asks if we can get rid of her, and longs for the days when it was just the two of us during the day. I'll be watching for suggestions from those who have been there, and have reached the other side. There is another side, right? RIGHT?

Mama to DS 3/05 and DD 1/08
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Old 11-05-2010, 04:48 AM
 
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Oh, oh. My second child is due when my son is 6. Though he begged us for a sibling, I'm wondering if sibling rivalry and/or general annoyance at all things baby will kick in. My first is highly sensitive, and has been the center of attention since his birth.

I look forward to reading all the posts on this thread!
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Old 11-05-2010, 12:46 PM
 
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A year ago, my oldest (then 5) was having a lot of problems with my youngest (then 1 and a half). Not wanting to play with her, saying she didn't like her, and so on.

Now things are completely different! It all changed when youngest dd starting talking more - I think that helped her older siblings see her as a person more. Now all three kids play together, and the oldest actually enjoys having her little sister around - she likes showing her things, helping her get her shoes on, and so on.
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Old 11-05-2010, 02:06 PM
 
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I noticed you said you made an area for ds to go into. maybe with baby gaters ro something? what about making an area for the baby to go into? When ds wants to play with his tiny tiny legos I put dd in the exersaucer. Even if she fusses a bit I let ds play unhindered for about 30 min or so and then i tell him to put away the chokable legos and play with bigger ones only. of course my dd is only 6 months so not as destructive yet, but maybe putting the baby someplace safe for a while, as opposed to "putting" the older child somewhere would make him feel better.

Very blessed mama to one bouncin' boy bouncy.gif (12/07) one angel3.gif who didn't get to stay (6/09), one potty learning, mess making divaenergy.gif(4/10), and one cheerful milk monster. aabfwoman.gif (12/11) Happy partner to the love of my lifedp_malesling.GIF.  

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Old 11-06-2010, 11:35 AM
 
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I agree - give it time. My kids are 3.5 years apart and dd hated her little brother knocking over her toys, breaking things, etc. when he was a toddler. Now, he's almost 4 and they play together for hours at a time! The annoying toddler grew into a fun, easy to boss around (lol) playmate!
Dd hated being alone, too. But, I put a baby gate up on her room and she came to realize that that was her "safe zone" and got really good about putting her stuff away in her room and eventually even began to play in there with the door open, but, the baby gate up. Now, she's okay with being in her room and the baby gate is down.
Getting a sibling can be such a big adjustment for the oldest! I also, obviously, tried to empathize, talked about my own experiences as an older sibling - the good and bad parts. I also tried to involve my oldest in the care of the toddler, when appropriate - pushing the stroller, that type of thing.
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