Another child took my DD's toy at the bank and his mother refused to make him give it back - Page 3 - Mothering Forums
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#61 of 80 Old 11-07-2010, 12:49 PM
 
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The fact that the other mom didn't call security when you retrieved your toy, to me says she KNOWS it wasn't her kid's toy.
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#62 of 80 Old 11-07-2010, 01:02 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Kidzaplenty View Post
While I don't condone what this mom did or didn't do, or what the child did or didn't do, I can see a really bad potential outcome from such a situation.

I don't think I would have physically touched the other child. You never know what a person is going to do now days.

I know I would have flipped out if some adult had snatched a toy from my child's hands (I totally would have given the toy back, but just saying).

I am kinda surprised by all those here saying how good it was to be done. Especially after the other thread, just the other day, about strangers acosting someone in the subway.

But, that is just me.

I am not usually a confrontational person, and would not likely take any chances.
I'm not generally a confrontational person either, but when necessary, even when it makes me uncomfortable, I'm assertive. I think it's an important quality to teach to my children, so I try to demonstrated it even when my first instinct would be to run to the bathroom and cry about the whole thing. If I let someone just take something from my child without doing anything about it, I'm teaching them that I'm not willing to stand up for them and that the next time someone does something like that, the proper thing would be to let them do it. It might also show them that stealing pays off. I think the danger level in a bank with security guards around is really pretty low. Had the mother gotten loud or threatening, there was security there to take care of it.
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#63 of 80 Old 11-07-2010, 01:31 PM
 
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I have no *idea* what I would have done in that situation beyond stare at the mother with my jaw on the floor.

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#64 of 80 Old 11-07-2010, 02:36 PM
 
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Originally Posted by EviesMom View Post
I wouldn't have imagined this specifically, but I have had kids at the playground swear something is theirs and their parent says after "He/she has one just like it at home!" Which you know, is often true, but they can't remember if they left theirs at home or not.

I know my kids have said "That's my ball!" at the playground, not maliciously, but because they do have a ball just like it and they think they must have left it there last time we were there.
DD fell apart at the library in PDX on our visit because someone had a stroller just like hers. I carried her through 8 city blocks with her screaming "myyyyyy stroller!!!! MY stroller!!!!"

The stroller in question? At home in Indy.

Fortunately, I was finally able to distract her with all the interesting things around and she was willing to nurse when we got to the bus stop. But w.o.w. that wasn't fun.
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#65 of 80 Old 11-07-2010, 02:39 PM
 
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I'm not generally a confrontational person either, but when necessary, even when it makes me uncomfortable, I'm assertive. I think it's an important quality to teach to my children, so I try to demonstrated it even when my first instinct would be to run to the bathroom and cry about the whole thing. If I let someone just take something from my child without doing anything about it, I'm teaching them that I'm not willing to stand up for them and that the next time someone does something like that, the proper thing would be to let them do it. It might also show them that stealing pays off. I think the danger level in a bank with security guards around is really pretty low. Had the mother gotten loud or threatening, there was security there to take care of it.

Plus the OP only touched her own property, after giving the child a chance to return the property, and giving the child's parent a chance to get the property returned.
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#66 of 80 Old 11-07-2010, 05:00 PM
 
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Yeah- if you hadn't taken it back your child would have learned powerlessness. Way to be assertive OP!
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#67 of 80 Old 11-07-2010, 05:20 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Kidzaplenty View Post
While I don't condone what this mom did or didn't do, or what the child did or didn't do, I can see a really bad potential outcome from such a situation.

I don't think I would have physically touched the other child. You never know what a person is going to do now days.

I know I would have flipped out if some adult had snatched a toy from my child's hands (I totally would have given the toy back, but just saying).

I am kinda surprised by all those here saying how good it was to be done. Especially after the other thread, just the other day, about strangers acosting someone in the subway.

But, that is just me.

I am not usually a confrontational person, and would not likely take any chances.
The other thread was about people physically restraining the mother and child, threatening them, and possibly impersonating authority figures.

In this thread, it sounds like the OP simply plucked her DD's toy from the boy's hand (possibly grazing his fingers lightly?) after his mother attempted to help him steal it. I can't even begin to see how the two scenarios are related.

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#68 of 80 Old 11-07-2010, 05:23 PM
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I was so glad to get to the part where you took the car back.

"Our task is not to see the future, but to enable it."
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#69 of 80 Old 11-07-2010, 05:38 PM
 
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I was so glad to get to the part where you took the car back.
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Originally Posted by mamadelbosque View Post
Thats insane. I'm reading this with my mouth literaly hanging open. Some people are simply freaking crazy. Its there only excuse.
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Originally Posted by Kreeblim View Post
Way to go on taking the toy back!


I would have turned around when she started cursing and calmly told her that we were in a bank, therefore I'd be happy to wait while we asked the manager to look at surveillance tapes. But then again my neighborhood is kind of small and I wouldn't want the rumor that I ripped a toy out of some kids hand getting spread around Plus her reaction would probably be priceless.
to all of the above!

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#70 of 80 Old 11-07-2010, 05:48 PM
 
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I read the title & was convinced it was the holiday helper tread
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#71 of 80 Old 11-07-2010, 11:11 PM
 
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Off topic. Not all banks have security camera running all the time. When I was a teller our's only ran when activated by our silent alarms, though we could take pictures with a button.

On topic, I'm glad you stood up for your child and got her property back.
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#72 of 80 Old 11-07-2010, 11:22 PM
 
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I only read this because I wanted to see if the child got the toy back. I was worried it wouldn't happen.

I like the idea of suggesting looking at what the security cameras picked up. I wonder what the mother would have said about that.
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#73 of 80 Old 11-07-2010, 11:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Eavesdrop View Post
I've lived almost all of my life in NYC and I have shouted obscenities at strangers.

I hope you weren't the person who cursed me out yesterday in front of Barnes & Noble on 86th street
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#74 of 80 Old 11-07-2010, 11:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by limabean View Post
The other thread was about people physically restraining the mother and child, threatening them, and possibly impersonating authority figures.

In this thread, it sounds like the OP simply plucked her DD's toy from the boy's hand (possibly grazing his fingers lightly?) after his mother attempted to help him steal it. I can't even begin to see how the two scenarios are related.
Thank you!
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#75 of 80 Old 11-08-2010, 01:06 AM
 
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Off topic. Not all banks have security camera running all the time. When I was a teller our's only ran when activated by our silent alarms, though we could take pictures with a button.

On topic, I'm glad you stood up for your child and got her property back.
The other mother probably doesn't know that. What she probably does know is her child stole the toy. When faced with the possibility of facing the fact that her son actually *gasp* did something wrong, she likely would have back peddled so fast she'd land on her .

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#76 of 80 Old 11-08-2010, 01:20 AM
 
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I was so glad to get to the part where you took the car back.
ROTFL, I know right?

I mean, that really IS straight-up stealing. I would have taken it back too. It's not a horrible unheard of thing for a kid to do-- at that age, it happens. It's the mom's job to correct the situation. What the other mom did is mind-boggling.

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#77 of 80 Old 11-18-2010, 11:47 AM
 
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Yes, what limabean said.  You would not have to even grab a child to get the toy back, and besides... it was her kid's toy!

Quote:
Originally Posted by limabean View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kidzaplenty View Post
While I don't condone what this mom did or didn't do, or what the child did or didn't do, I can see a really bad potential outcome from such a situation.

I don't think I would have physically touched the other child. You never know what a person is going to do now days.

I know I would have flipped out if some adult had snatched a toy from my child's hands (I totally would have given the toy back, but just saying).

I am kinda surprised by all those here saying how good it was to be done. Especially after the other thread, just the other day, about strangers acosting someone in the subway.

But, that is just me.

I am not usually a confrontational person, and would not likely take any chances.
The other thread was about people physically restraining the mother and child, threatening them, and possibly impersonating authority figures.

In this thread, it sounds like the OP simply plucked her DD's toy from the boy's hand (possibly grazing his fingers lightly?) after his mother attempted to help him steal it. I can't even begin to see how the two scenarios are related.

It's not that the stay-at-home-parent gets to stay home with the kids. The kids get to stay home with a parent. Lucky Mom to DD1 (4 y) and DD2 (18 mo), Wife to Mercenary Dad
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#78 of 80 Old 11-19-2010, 11:40 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EviesMom View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by philomom View Post
I noticed the OP was in New York..... I wanted to add that NYC is the only place in the United States I have experienced personally where people do shout obscenities at strangers. And I have traveled a good bit around the continental United States.
I live in NYC, and I think this is totally true. It's not only people from here, though. People visiting here will do it too! As well as walk to the front of a long line of people and just start trying to give the cashiers their orders; jump over strollers so they can get on an elevator and keep the strollers off, because the escalator is much too complicated for them (Hello, you're not being asked to exert yourself here, it moves on it's own too!) It's really a bizarro-world sometimes!


Yeah, this is why I'm glad I don't live in NYC anymore.  I can't imagine getting screamed at and cursed like that anywhere else.  I love the city, but sometimes enough is enough.


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#79 of 80 Old 11-19-2010, 12:02 PM
 
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I just spit water all over my computer screen. 

 

 

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Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post

Mark the calendar because for the first time I have nothing to say beyond...Uh, wha...?


And, really?  the mother didnt know where her 5 or 6 year old child got a toy from?  I am familiar with ever article of toy in my house and car.  If Im in the bank, and my son suddenly has an unidentified object in his hands, I am like, where did you get that?  You didnt have that when we walked IN to this bank. 

 

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#80 of 80 Old 11-19-2010, 03:47 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gbailey View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eavesdrop View Post
I've lived almost all of my life in NYC and I have shouted obscenities at strangers.

I hope you weren't the person who cursed me out yesterday in front of Barnes & Noble on 86th street


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