s/o - do your kids call nonrelatives aunt/uncle? - Mothering Forums

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Old 11-17-2010, 06:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Do you have any friends your children call aunt or uncle?  I alwasy refer to my best friend as Auntie N when I'm talking to DD and DH has a friend who refers to himself as Uncle S when he's talking to DD.  I don't mind, but I was curious as to how others feel.


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Old 11-17-2010, 07:22 PM
 
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Nope. I think its fairly odd. :shrug

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Old 11-17-2010, 07:26 PM
 
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We did this growing up.  All my mom's friends were aunty or "emo" (means aunty in Korean).  Or uncle. 

 

We haven't really done this with DD but she doesn't talk much yet.  When she does, we'll probably do it.  I think it's cute.


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Old 11-17-2010, 07:37 PM
 
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We do this.  We only use it with close friends that we feel part of a family with.  Our chosen family if you will.


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Old 11-17-2010, 07:46 PM
 
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Yes. The kids don'th even know which ones are real and which aren't. Honestly though its only with really close friends.

Ps. Ds just commented that my phone has a lazy board. But even with that I'm sure there are typos please forgive them. Hopefully I'll have internet back by next week and cam use an actual computer to fill my addiction to MDC.

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Old 11-17-2010, 07:55 PM
 
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We don't.  I never did as a kid and I never knew anyone who did.  I don't really have anything against it, though.

 

I have to admit, though,  I only have one niece- she (literally) lives on the other side of the world from us and I wish I could be more involved in her life.  I get a little pang in my heart to see comments on my SIL's facebook  from "auntie so-and-so".  It's totally my green monster coming out and I'm truly glad she has loving people in her life, but dang-it-all, she's the only one I get to be aunt to and it should be special! *wink, wink*


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Old 11-17-2010, 08:51 PM
 
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DS1 had a few non-related "uncles" and one "aunt". DD1, ds2 and dd2 don't have any of them, because dh and I don't have any really close friends, the way my ex and I did.

 

I always think we did that with a few of my parent's friends when we were younger, but when I think back, we didn't really call them "Uncle So-and-so" - we just kind of thought of them that way.


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Old 11-17-2010, 09:28 PM
 
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We are big "family is who you make it" people so out kids have two uncles and one aunt that are not related. They are family, better to them than many of their blood relatives and the people they love and count on. They are their uncles and aunt.
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Old 11-17-2010, 09:36 PM
 
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Absolutely.  If it weren't for chosen family my kids would have no family at all.  Biologically they have 4 uncles and 2 aunts.  None of them have spent more than an hour with my older daughter and they haven't met the youngest.  Instead we have my wonderful fierce tribe of super devoted friends.  It's wonderful.  Our birthday parties are a kick as the 'relatives' look around and go, "OH!!!  I'VE HEARD ABOUT YOU!!!" and then get me in trouble by badly remembering my stories about other people. :D  Wouldn't trade my tribe for anything.


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Old 11-17-2010, 09:45 PM
 
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i had a few different non family aunts and uncles growing up. my ds only calls one non family member that- my little sisters best friend since they were 4 is aunt marisa, and so by default her hubby is uncle ryan. i dont have any really close friends right now, but obviously i dont have a problem with it, lol


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Old 11-17-2010, 09:49 PM
 
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No. I never did as a kid, either, so it's just not the norm to me.

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Old 11-17-2010, 09:52 PM
 
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we do this-- to the point that I don't remember calling any of my parents friends miss/mr or anything else. in fact, I was so suprised to be introduced as 'Mrs' at my first play date a few weekends ago.

 

I think it may be cultural though. (we are south asian).


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Old 11-17-2010, 10:01 PM
 
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Yup, we have honourary Aunts and Uncles. Two of each... sort of. My best friend from school is an Uncle, babymomma is Aunt, and another friend who is either Aunt or Uncle depending on what he's wearing.


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Old 11-17-2010, 10:06 PM
 
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We do, with our chosen family. I didn't grow up with it. It's just something DH and I decided to do since it fit so well for our closest friends and for the people I call my foster family. Not all of them have remained close over the years, but the same can be said for some biological and step- family members. And some are much closer than the bio family members who you'd expect to be invested in my family.

 

My 8 year old understands which people are related to us biologically, and which we have chosen as part of our family. He's not confused by it. I imagine the same will be true with my younger son.


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Old 11-18-2010, 12:02 AM
 
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No. They don't even call their true biological aunts and uncles "Aunt" or "Uncle". It would be odd to give the title to someone who wasn't related to them. 

 

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Old 11-18-2010, 12:09 AM
 
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I didn't grow up with it in my family but my children call my bestest friend "Auntie _____".  She has always been really close with them.  It is a little confusing as my actual sister has the same name as my friend but we rarely, if ever, talk about her and only see her once every other year.

 

We desperately need to find some honorary uncles for them.  My DH has two sisters and I have one and none of them are currently married to men.  And my buddy "Auntie ____" doesn't have a significant other currently.  Good male role models seem to be in short supply around us right now.

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Old 11-18-2010, 12:14 AM
 
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Yes. But just one friend. I already have 9 siblings, and DH has 3... so what's one more? :) And it helps distinguish if I am talking about DD's friend Katie or MY friend Katy if I am talking to the kids.


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Old 11-18-2010, 12:39 AM
 
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I had never heard of this until my best friend told me she was pregnant with her son and decided I would be his Aunt. I was very honored she felt that way, but preferred to be an Uncle, which was fine by her and her husband. I'm quite tickled. I've only met the little guy once as they live on the other side of the country (he's turning 4), but I tell everyone I have a nephew and love sending him gifts and hearing how he's doing.
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Old 11-18-2010, 12:41 AM
 
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Almost all of DH's and my close friends from before we had DS are referred to as Aunt _______ or Uncle ________.  Also, DS' godparents, and my mother's close friends. 

 

To me, it's a term of endearment.  I figure DS has gotten a pretty firm grasp on who his family members are but we have "chosen family" in addition to our biological family and I think they are pretty important people too.

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Old 11-18-2010, 06:48 AM
 
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My 12yo DD has a friend - a very silly drama filled friend wild.gif LOL! Who calls me Aunt______. She's known me 6 years & I was Miss_______, but she changed up 2 summers ago. She calls me on the phone all the time to spill her guts to me...then ask to talk to DD : )

 

The change was actually kind of funny. I have a 10 yo niece that stays with me all summer, for the past 4 years. She is not a bio-niece, but is in the family, in another state & in a round about way.

So DD, friend, and niece do everything together & are here all the time...friend starts calling me aunt____  with lots of emphasis, just like niece. Niece was in such a huff about it claiming 'She's MY Aunt!'  But it stuck - silly girls....I'm glad I have 4 boys & not 4girls!!

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Old 11-18-2010, 07:18 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamalisa View Post

We are big "family is who you make it" people so out kids have two uncles and one aunt that are not related. They are family, better to them than many of their blood relatives and the people they love and count on. They are their uncles and aunt.



That.  We do have one couple who are very very good friends.  They're the only ones my kids call Aunt and Uncle.  I have a "slightly" dysfunctional family so I'm happy to have other adults in my kids' lives that they can be close to and look up to.

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Old 11-18-2010, 07:26 AM
 
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This... everyone is called by first names.  We don't do Miss Firstname, Aunt Firstname or anything else.  Only Mommy, Daddy, Grandma and Oma are called something other than their first names.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ollyoxenfree View Post

 

No. They don't even call their true biological aunts and uncles "Aunt" or "Uncle". It would be odd to give the title to someone who wasn't related to them. 

 


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Old 11-18-2010, 07:39 AM
 
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I have 2 honorary uncles from my childhood. They've been best friends with my dad since they were kids. One day my brother was doing a family tree for school and he got a confused look on his face... "Who is Uncle Dave a brother to?" 

 

Uncle Dave is black. We're European mix/Cherokee. 

 

 

I have a few friends who have the title "Aunt" or "Uncle". I am the "Aunt" to a beautiful newborn baby boy. 

 

My kids don't see their biological aunts and uncles, unfortunately. Mostly it's due to physical distance. I have a biological nephew who lives on the other side of the world (Philippines). 

 

Right now, I'm debating what to call my future step siblings. My dad is getting married and his future wife has 3 adult children. I think it would be appropriate to refer to them as Aunts and Uncle. However, I haven't met them. Scratch that, I went to middle school with the boy. I don't think we'll refer to them that often, though, so I think it's a non-issue.

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Old 11-18-2010, 07:58 AM
 
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No. I am more comfortable using aunt and uncle for family. It seems like iter terms could be used to designate special
Friends if people found it necessary. Just my preference.

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Old 11-18-2010, 11:08 AM
 
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I have 8+ siblings, and DP has two, so they are the kids only aunts and uncles.

 

We do have one "Auntie" though.  DP's mom's best friend who was always DP's aunt and is super close to the family.  I'm comfortable with that because she is not going ANYWHERE.  She's been in their lives for over 40 years and is just as much family as anyone else (DP is godfather to one of her daughters).

 

In general, the Aunt & Uncle thing doesn't bother me (when other people use it).  I am comfortable only using it for "actual" family (which can be biological or chosen, but must be PERMANENT.  if you moved half-way around the world for 10 years and then would never see the people again, they're not truly permanent).  My BIL & SIL use the term freely and it bothers me *FOR THEM* because they started fostering my nephew (who is now 10) when he was 7 and I think it really is confusing about the permanence of family.  He's had so many aunts & uncles (and moms and dads :( ) in and out of his  life, I wish they would really emphasize that FAMILY is forever.  DP & I aren't going anywhere.  BIL & SIL aren't going anywhere.  His cousins will always be his cousins.  Having random people be "aunt" and "uncle" to me just introduces more chances for loss in his life :(  But that's their choice.


 

 

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Old 11-18-2010, 11:22 AM
 
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Yes, DS has a few honorary aunties and uncles. They are all long-time friends. Their children call us Auntie ASusan and Uncle DH.

 

It is partly cultural/familial from DH's family and culture.

 

Anthropologists call it fictive kin. I don't like wikipedia's article on it, but I'm too lazy to search for a better one.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fictive_kinship


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Old 11-18-2010, 12:15 PM
 
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Dh and I don't have any friends that close, but if we did DD would most likely call them Aunt or Uncle.  She does call other family that aren't technically aunts or uncles by those titles.  For example she calls my adult cousins as well as my aunts and uncles by those titles.  She calls my cousins kids (so her 2nd cousins) her cousin-friends, a title she created herself.

 

As a child I had several Uncles and Aunts that weren't related to us. We also called my dad's cousin Uncle.

 

Isn't it a pretty common thing in other cultures to call people Aunt, Uncle, or even Grandmother or Grandfather as a sign of respect?


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Old 11-18-2010, 12:21 PM
 
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No. We only call family members uncle or aunt.


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Old 11-18-2010, 12:59 PM
 
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yes.. our dd has several aunts and uncles who are my and dh's sisters and brothers in our hearts but not our actual blood kin. 


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Old 11-18-2010, 01:27 PM
 
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Yep :) Close friends are Aunt/Uncle/ Cousins...its more familial than Mr/Ms./Mrs. We did it growing up and its always been a "thing" in our family.


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