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#31 of 51 Old 12-13-2010, 11:27 AM
 
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As Christmas was approaching, we asked him if there was anything in particular he wanted as gifts. His reply: "Some reindeer footie pajamas, a scooter and a plastic hand on a stick so I can hit brother."  He had thought long and hard about how to get around that pesky "Don't use YOUR hands to hurt brother" rule. rolleyes.gif

 


DS1 was swiping at a branch of the Christmas tree the other night. I told him to please keep his hands away from the Christmas tree. He thought about it for a moment, then turned around and started swiping it with his butt.

 

So now the directive has changed to "give the Christmas tree some personal space." redface.gif


These remind me of when my mom would tell my brother to stop touching me...so he'd do that "finger an inch away" thing and say, 'I'm not touching  you!" when I would get irritated.


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#32 of 51 Old 12-13-2010, 11:32 AM
 
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well, it was a while ago, but I dropped DS on his head while "pretending to drop him on his head" in a middle of a crowded restaurant. Luckilly my grip failed when he was only 5 inches off the floor and it was a soft floor. Still, the thud and the resulting screaming were quite startling. duh.gif


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#33 of 51 Old 12-13-2010, 11:39 AM
 
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well, it was a while ago, but I dropped DS on his head while "pretending to drop him on his head" in a middle of a crowded restaurant. Luckilly my grip failed when he was only 5 inches off the floor and it was a soft floor. Still, the thud and the resulting screaming were quite startling. duh.gif



:lol DH has done that at least twice with DS.


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#34 of 51 Old 12-13-2010, 11:42 AM
 
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By the end of the summer, DS was going to the little fridge in the garage, bringing a beer into the house, and asking me if I wanted a beer at the start of dinner each night.


DS, 10/07. Allergies: peanut, egg, wheat. We've added dairy back in. And taken it back out again. It causes sandpaper skin with itchy patches and thrashing during sleep. Due w/ #2 late April, 2012.

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#35 of 51 Old 12-13-2010, 12:33 PM
 
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DS has autism and repeats everything. Over and over again. I've been super careful for years not to let any bad words slip. Yesterday we were driving in the middle of a blizzard on a 2 lane road with nobody else around (roads hadn't even been plowed it was so early in the morning and smaaaaal town). I hit a slick patch and my car ended up spinning around 2 1/2 times and ended up in a ditch on the opposite side of the road. When the car first started spinning I calmly said "oh sh*t. Hold on Owen". When I got the car back on the road and continued driving Owen piped up from the backseat with "mama, what does sh*t mean? And what do I hold on to?"..... lol. If I wasn't so freaked out I would have laughed hysterically. I'm just crossing my fingers he doesn't start repeating it!


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#36 of 51 Old 12-13-2010, 06:20 PM
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I just thought of another one...
At the end of my maternity leave, I went to a company picnic to show off my new dd. She was just learning how to sit and I placed her sitting on a blanket, looked up to hug someone, looked down and she was rolling face first off the blanket into a muddy patch. Apparently, there was a slight incline I had not detected. The best part is that I'm a social worker who supervises parent-child visit for safety... Yeah, my coworkers gave me a hard time for that one ;0)
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#37 of 51 Old 12-13-2010, 07:05 PM
 
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DD now calls the dog a dumbass and can say "I hate Tom Brady"



Hilarious! In the same vein, DD2 (2 years old) came into the living room during the Packers/Vikes game a couple weekends ago just as DH pointed out Brett Favre to DD1. DD2 takes one look at DH and says, "He's a has-been!"

 

(Yeah, we're Packers fans.)


LOL My father would be so very very proud of your DD2!! thumb.gif (Wisconsin born and bred, we're Packer fans, too.)

 

A few weeks ago I told DD that an IBC cream soda in a fancy bottle was a beer so she wouldn't bug me to drink some of it. I then lived in fear that she would tell someone that her mommy who is very obviously pregnant was drinking lots of beer since I had a couple of them.
 


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#38 of 51 Old 12-13-2010, 07:16 PM
 
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Another pottymouth here, with a 3 y/o who loves to cuss. redface.gif

 

We were at a Harvest Fest last month and had just sat down to eat lunch: me, both my girls and my mom on one side of a picnic table.  Another mom and her 2 older kids sat down across from us.  I opened up H's sandwich, she took one look at it and said (very loudly and VERY clearly), "What. The. Hell."  bag.gif  The other mom just laughed and said, "They always wait until the grandparents are there."  Yep.  Same kid also dropped the f-bomb in front of my mom a few months ago.  She recently informed the babysitter (and company) that now that she's a big girl, she's allowed to say dammit.  But she still can't say heck.  I try so hard to censor myself, but it only takes one slip with her anywhere in earshot and I'm done-for.  And it almost always catches me by surprise and instead of correcting her I burst out laughing.  (oops)

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#39 of 51 Old 12-14-2010, 09:51 AM
 
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My ds (5) has a habit of screaming when he is frustrated so I told him we needed to come up with something other than that to do when he is frustrated.  He said, "Oh, I know!  I could just say, 'oh, dammit'."  lol.gif


                                       DS 7 ~ DS 3

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#40 of 51 Old 12-14-2010, 09:58 AM
 
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My ds (5) has a habit of screaming when he is frustrated so I told him we needed to come up with something other than that to do when he is frustrated.  He said, "Oh, I know!  I could just say, 'oh, dammit'."  lol.gif



Gotta love the problem solving skills! *thumbs up*

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#41 of 51 Old 12-14-2010, 11:00 AM
 
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While leaving preschool today after picking up DD, one of the other moms looks at me and says "Where's Isaac?" referring to my 13 month old. Who I had put down in the parent pick up area and completely forgotten about. blush.gif Luckily the other mom and the teachers just laughed about pregnancy brain, but I still wanted (still want for that matter) to sink into a hole in the earth....


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#42 of 51 Old 12-14-2010, 11:09 AM
 
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This weekend I was really really tired. We had a stressful lunch out, the car was parked FAR away, I forgot the sling and the baby was HEAVY, I got totally lost looking for my car, and everyone was very, very late for their naps. I finally found the car, got DS strapped in, was nursing the almost-asleep baby, and DS announces that he needs to pee. Which he doesn't, because we went before we left the restaurant. Which means he needs to poop and we are nowhere near a potty.

 

So after a frantic search I cobbled together a potty for him. Plastic Halloween pumpkin. The one you see everywhere. THe edges were to sharp so I covered them with one of the baby's pocket diapers. He happily pooped in there and happily telling everyone about it on school on Monday. The parking lot was pretty empty at the time but a father did walk by with two older sons. He really, really conrolled his laughter until he was out of DS's vision.

 

My husband said don't you feel bad about that? And I said, no, I am brilliant. I just wished I had changed the angle of the diaper so I could have reused the pumpkin!

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#43 of 51 Old 12-14-2010, 11:17 AM
 
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This weekend I was really really tired. We had a stressful lunch out, the car was parked FAR away, I forgot the sling and the baby was HEAVY, I got totally lost looking for my car, and everyone was very, very late for their naps. I finally found the car, got DS strapped in, was nursing the almost-asleep baby, and DS announces that he needs to pee. Which he doesn't, because we went before we left the restaurant. Which means he needs to poop and we are nowhere near a potty.

 

So after a frantic search I cobbled together a potty for him. Plastic Halloween pumpkin. The one you see everywhere. THe edges were to sharp so I covered them with one of the baby's pocket diapers. He happily pooped in there and happily telling everyone about it on school on Monday. The parking lot was pretty empty at the time but a father did walk by with two older sons. He really, really conrolled his laughter until he was out of DS's vision.

 

My husband said don't you feel bad about that? And I said, no, I am brilliant. I just wished I had changed the angle of the diaper so I could have reused the pumpkin!


And thank goodness he was a parent - he totally understood!!  LOL for all the crap we give other parents for being judgemental, sometimes we can really appreciate that others have been there!

 

This thread is amazing, its making me laugh TONS.

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#44 of 51 Old 12-14-2010, 12:14 PM
 
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My husband said don't you feel bad about that? And I said, no, I am brilliant. I just wished I had changed the angle of the diaper so I could have reused the pumpkin!



I submit this incident as evidence of your genius. thumb.gif


Me+DH+DS1+DS2+Dog=me and a house full of guys, which is really just peachy, thanks.
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#45 of 51 Old 12-14-2010, 12:24 PM
 
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I second!  Is it bad that I'm now thinking of sticking an old pumpkin in my car as a portapotty? bag.gif

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#46 of 51 Old 12-14-2010, 12:37 PM
 
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Is it bad that I'm now thinking of sticking an old pumpkin in my car as a portapotty? bag.gif


Nope. Further evidence of MDC mama genius.


Me+DH+DS1+DS2+Dog=me and a house full of guys, which is really just peachy, thanks.
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#47 of 51 Old 12-14-2010, 02:09 PM
 
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My three year old frequently tells us "I'm pwetendin' my almond milk is beer" 

 

the other day my nearly 5 year old dropped her bowl while taking it back to the kitchen (cleaning up from dinner) and it smashed everywhere.  Her reaction?  "Oh F#*K!"  bag.gif

 

Awesome thread.  I'm laughing  and nodding at all the stories.


Jenna ~ mommy to Sophia Elise idea.gif  (1/06), Oliver Matthew  blahblah.gif (7/07) and Avery Michael fly-by-nursing1.gif(3/10)

 

dizzy.gif Wading slowly and nervously into this homeschooling thing.

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#48 of 51 Old 12-14-2010, 06:02 PM
 
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Quote:
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Is it bad that I'm now thinking of sticking an old pumpkin in my car as a portapotty? bag.gif



 Not at all! I am, too! thumb.gif


 read.gif Rachael~~SAHM to fairy.gif (4/27/06), diaper.gif (11/18/09) and babyf.gif (1/29/11); married to a fabulous man! flowersforyou.gif  intactlact.gif cd.gif    caffix.gif )O(

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#49 of 51 Old 12-15-2010, 09:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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can I just say how much I hate how badly the quote features work on the new system?

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Quote:
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DD now calls the dog a dumbass and can say "I hate Tom Brady"



Hilarious! In the same vein, DD2 (2 years old) came into the living room during the Packers/Vikes game a couple weekends ago just as DH pointed out Brett Favre to DD1. DD2 takes one look at DH and says, "He's a has-been!"

 

(Yeah, we're Packers fans.)


LOL My father would be so very very proud of your DD2!! thumb.gif (Wisconsin born and bred, we're Packer fans, too.)

 

A few weeks ago I told DD that an IBC cream soda in a fancy bottle was a beer so she wouldn't bug me to drink some of it. I then lived in fear that she would tell someone that her mommy who is very obviously pregnant was drinking lots of beer since I had a couple of them.
 



My second year of teaching pre-k, we were on a field trip... I hadn't been thinking when I packed my lunch and I packed an IBC rootbeer.  We were at a park having a picnic lunch and I was standing there monitoring my kids on the playground with my bottle of rootbeer in hand and another teacher came up to me and asked me what I was drinking.  duh.gif  DOH!


mommy to Christopher 2/29/08
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#50 of 51 Old 12-16-2010, 09:52 PM
 
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I've been watching a lot of Stargate Atlantis during the day, even though we try to limit the adult programs the children watch.  So this week, they started chasing each other around pretending to be fleeing from the Wraith.  They even have the character names.  Oops!

 

We were in the store yesterday and this really unfriendly cashier rang everything up.  Didn't even crack a smile.  When we were almost done, my (almost) 5 year old dd pointed at her and asked really loudly "Is that person OLD??"  Thank goodness we live in Australia now and our home language is not English.  It could get hairy!

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#51 of 51 Old 12-17-2010, 06:47 AM
 
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The other day I opened the front door to check the mail. I then proceeded to close the front door, not realising my 21 month old DD was standing next to me. She ended up on the doorstep looking very confused. Fortunately she didn't seem upset. An hour later I found her in the bathroom, cleaning the toilet with the toilet brush!

 

Today I was giving her nappy free time because she has a terrible re-occuring rash. I was in the kitchen cooking and she was playing with baking trays and the like. She then started saying 'pee' over and over, but I ignored her because she's not potty trained and she says 'pee' quite a lot randomly. It turns out I should've taken her seriously, as she ended up peeing into a roasting tin, which was quite handy for cleaning up!

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