what have you done to win "mother of the year?" - Mothering Forums
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Parenting > what have you done to win "mother of the year?"
shanniesue2's Avatar shanniesue2 06:52 PM 12-03-2010

tonight I was making a run to the liquor store for a bottle of wine (silly Oklahoma liquor laws).  Just as I was leaving, this was the conversation I had with DS (2 1/2 y.o.)

 

DS: I wanna go with you, mama

me:  you can't go with me this time

DS:  but why?

me:  because I'm going to the liquor store and they won't let little boys go in

 

20 minutes later, I walk through the door

 

DS: Hi mama!  Did you get some liquor?

me:  (laughing) yeah, I did

DS:  I want some liquor!

me:  nope!

DS:  but why?

me:  you have to be 21



ChristyMarie's Avatar ChristyMarie 07:05 PM 12-03-2010

My son has plastic martini shakers in his play kitchen and makes martinis.  Not that he knows what a martini is...  LOL.


Stephenie's Avatar Stephenie 07:31 PM 12-03-2010

During Thanksgiving dinner, my 3.5 year old son. who was still grumpy from his nap was having a hard time getting the pie to stay on his fork. He said "This pumpkin pie is really pissing me off!" And instead of correcting him, I just laughed uncontrollably for about a minute. 


waiting2bemommy's Avatar waiting2bemommy 09:33 PM 12-03-2010

today on the city bus ds announced that he had to pee and could not wait. We had only paid for a single ride each and not bought transfers since it was a straight shot, so rather than drag everyone off the bus, find a store with a bathroom, etc and then pay to get back on the bus, I waited until there was a crowded bus stop, and the minute the bus stopped to let people on, I flung ds out the back doors of the bus and propped them open while he peed on the tire. bag.gif

 

I would like to add in my defense that it was almost dark out. But I'm still mortified about it.


butterfly_mommy's Avatar butterfly_mommy 09:57 PM 12-03-2010

Yeah today in the car while I  was driving my daycare child home (almost  4) DS (almost 3) said something about the driver's seat being Dada's seat and I  said but I drive the car more. then he said "yeah but when you drive you say friken cars"  redface.gif


StoriesInTheSoil's Avatar StoriesInTheSoil 10:03 PM 12-03-2010


Quote:
Originally Posted by waiting2bemommy View Post

today on the city bus ds announced that he had to pee and could not wait. We had only paid for a single ride each and not bought transfers since it was a straight shot, so rather than drag everyone off the bus, find a store with a bathroom, etc and then pay to get back on the bus, I waited until there was a crowded bus stop, and the minute the bus stopped to let people on, I flung ds out the back doors of the bus and propped them open while he peed on the tire. bag.gif

 

I would like to add in my defense that it was almost dark out. But I'm still mortified about it.


I am cracking up picturing this!


Sfcmama's Avatar Sfcmama 10:16 PM 12-03-2010
Not once but TWICE in one night I dropped my iPhone DIRECTLY on to the face/forehead of my sleeping nursling. (while reading MDC posts, of course!)
littlemizflava's Avatar littlemizflava 11:31 PM 12-03-2010

 



 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sfcmama View Post

Not once but TWICE in one night I dropped my iPhone DIRECTLY on to the face/forehead of my sleeping nursling. (while reading MDC posts, of course!)

 

my poor ds has suffered that even now at 4 when he wants a cuddle when over sleepy he risks a iphone clunk. with my dd it was pocket novels
 

 
Quote:
Originally Posted by waiting2bemommy View Post

today on the city bus ds announced that he had to pee and could not wait. We had only paid for a single ride each and not bought transfers since it was a straight shot, so rather than drag everyone off the bus, find a store with a bathroom, etc and then pay to get back on the bus, I waited until there was a crowded bus stop, and the minute the bus stopped to let people on, I flung ds out the back doors of the bus and propped them open while he peed on the tire. bag.gif

 

I would like to add in my defense that it was almost dark out. But I'm still mortified about it.


man i would die to see a vid of this. you are so very lucky mine would never pee outside no matter what. there has been times i have begged them to just pee. 


Eeyore35's Avatar Eeyore35 11:41 PM 12-03-2010

Oh,so many things...my 5 yr old daughter has been known to bring me a wine cooler and a bottle opener and say"here mommy, have a grown-up drink".

 

A couple weeks ago, my friend watched her for a day while I attended my grandmother's' funeral. At some point during the day, my friend dropped something on her foot, and said the f-word. And my dd says "my mommy says that sometimes" .

 

 

 


Turtlecouple's Avatar Turtlecouple 01:44 AM 12-04-2010

This was a few years ago when DS1 was 4 years old...DH took him out to run errands, I stayed home watching "The Wire" on DVD. They came home in the middle of an episode, so I turned it off. DS1 - What are you watching Mama?

me - oh, just a show.

DS1 - what show?

me - it's a show for adults.

DS1 - is it like a movie?

me - hun? yeah, I guess so.

 

A few days later,  I go to pick him up from pre-school and get to talking to some of the other moms while he's getting his stuff ready and he's having a conversation with his teacher and all of a sudden I hear him say "My mom likes to watch adult movies!" 


elsa_elsa's Avatar elsa_elsa 06:52 AM 12-04-2010


Quote:
Originally Posted by Turtlecouple View Post

This was a few years ago when DS1 was 4 years old...DH took him out to run errands, I stayed home watching "The Wire" on DVD. They came home in the middle of an episode, so I turned it off. DS1 - What are you watching Mama?

me - oh, just a show.

DS1 - what show?

me - it's a show for adults.

DS1 - is it like a movie?

me - hun? yeah, I guess so.

 

A few days later,  I go to pick him up from pre-school and get to talking to some of the other moms while he's getting his stuff ready and he's having a conversation with his teacher and all of a sudden I hear him say "My mom likes to watch adult movies!" 

ROTFLMAO.gif

 


 


Smokering's Avatar Smokering 12:39 PM 12-04-2010

They don't let kids INTO liquor stores in Oklahoma? How bizarre! The guy at our liquor store offers DD a lollipop whenever we go in. (We say no. Heh.) :p

 

My two-year-old casually greeted me with "Hey, monkey-face" yesterday. I've also, in recent days, been called "possum-mouse", "cockroach", "doggy-milkshake", "changing-mat-head", "custard square" and "Superman-Batman". On the other hand, she has a tender side. She came up and patted me the other day, saying "Awwww, Mummy, so pretty! I love you arms... I love you hands... don't chop you hands off." Well, OK then.

 

Oh, and another from yesterday: "I have to sit onna baby in you tummy. I NEEEEEEED to squash him!"


odenata's Avatar odenata 01:16 PM 12-04-2010


This reminded me of a story about a couple I used to babysit for.

 

One morning before school, the husband was getting ready to go on a trip for work, needed cash for the trip, and so the wife gave him what she had in her wallet before he leaves. 

 

That afternoon, when picking her daughter up from school, a concerned teacher approaches her and says, "Your daughter told me about what happened, and if you need any help right now, please let me know."  The mom looks at her questioningly, and the teacher explains, "She told me how your husband took all your money and left town."

 

ROTFLMAO.gif

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Turtlecouple View Post

This was a few years ago when DS1 was 4 years old...DH took him out to run errands, I stayed home watching "The Wire" on DVD. They came home in the middle of an episode, so I turned it off. DS1 - What are you watching Mama?

me - oh, just a show.

DS1 - what show?

me - it's a show for adults.

DS1 - is it like a movie?

me - hun? yeah, I guess so.

 

A few days later,  I go to pick him up from pre-school and get to talking to some of the other moms while he's getting his stuff ready and he's having a conversation with his teacher and all of a sudden I hear him say "My mom likes to watch adult movies!" 


Zan&Zav's Avatar Zan&Zav 01:34 PM 12-04-2010


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by odenata View Post


This reminded me of a story about a couple I used to babysit for.

 

One morning before school, the husband was getting ready to go on a trip for work, needed cash for the trip, and so the wife gave him what she had in her wallet before he leaves. 

 

That afternoon, when picking her daughter up from school, a concerned teacher approaches her and says, "Your daughter told me about what happened, and if you need any help right now, please let me know."  The mom looks at her questioningly, and the teacher explains, "She told me how your husband took all your money and left town."

 

ROTFLMAO.gif

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Turtlecouple View Post

This was a few years ago when DS1 was 4 years old...DH took him out to run errands, I stayed home watching "The Wire" on DVD. They came home in the middle of an episode, so I turned it off. DS1 - What are you watching Mama?

me - oh, just a show.

DS1 - what show?

me - it's a show for adults.

DS1 - is it like a movie?

me - hun? yeah, I guess so.

 

A few days later,  I go to pick him up from pre-school and get to talking to some of the other moms while he's getting his stuff ready and he's having a conversation with his teacher and all of a sudden I hear him say "My mom likes to watch adult movies!" 


Milk. all over the computer screen. my kids would do this. i love it. my 4 year old has autism and he will repeat convos word for word that he has overheard. its not a good scene lol.


shanniesue2's Avatar shanniesue2 02:27 PM 12-04-2010

(how on earth do you get the quote feature to work?!)

 

RE:  bus peeing incident--- I believe this wins the award, hands down!!!!

 

RE:  Oklahoma liquor laws--yes, they are crazy... if you want to buy anything over 3.2 alcohol (which apparently you can only find in Oklahoma) you have to go to a liquor store... no grocery store finds, no trader joe's, or anything like that.  And anyone under 21 is not allowed in.  I know a lady who OWNS a liquor store, and even she can't bring her toddler into her own store.  They warned her about this when she was pregnant, said that if she was caught with her baby in the store, that she would get a citation.  That's just the county that I live in.  Some counties are still dry.  And some have more stringent laws... like I went to a restaurant once and wanted to order a margarita... the closest thing they had was a margarita flavored wine cooler... Now, they could have mixed a drink for me if I had brought my own liquor, but the couldn't sell me anything over 3.2.


musikat's Avatar musikat 05:07 PM 12-04-2010

When my now 8 year old was about 2 or 3 I let him "taste" my wine by dipping a butter knife in it (thinking he wouldn't like it). Wrong! So a couple of weeks later we were out to dinner with my parents at a nice restaurant and I had a glass of wine. He kept asking to taste it and when it was all gone I told him there wasn't any more. He loudly stated "I need more wine!"

 

That same 8 year old's favorite evening TV shows now are NCIS, Bones and Medium, but we drew the line at Glee because of sexual content and talk.

 

My three year old will tell you that I am allowed to say "dammit" but he is only allowed to say "darnit."


shanniesue2's Avatar shanniesue2 07:26 PM 12-04-2010

Just thought of another one... we were watching Talladega Nights one evening... and DS LOVED watching the race cars... he picked up the "shake and bake" line... and now when he does anything cool, he'll hold out his fist for a fist bump and says "shake and bake."  We were at the park a couple of weeks ago and he did this (mind you, he's not 3 yet) and a dad standing nearby burst out laughing and said, "you guys don't watch a lot of talladega nights, do you?"  sigh...stellar parenting, I tell ya


KristyDi's Avatar KristyDi 08:27 PM 12-04-2010

I had to call poison control twice in the space of 4 days. bag.gif DD was obsessed with medicine for a while.  1st she got into a bottle of children's bynadryl I keep in my purse then she got one of DH's lactose intolerance pills.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by shanniesue2 View Post

(how on earth do you get the quote feature to work?!)

 

RE:  bus peeing incident--- I believe this wins the award, hands down!!!!

 

RE:  Oklahoma liquor laws--yes, they are crazy... if you want to buy anything over 3.2 alcohol (which apparently you can only find in Oklahoma) you have to go to a liquor store... no grocery store finds, no trader joe's, or anything like that.  And anyone under 21 is not allowed in.  I know a lady who OWNS a liquor store, and even she can't bring her toddler into her own store.  They warned her about this when she was pregnant, said that if she was caught with her baby in the store, that she would get a citation.  That's just the county that I live in.  Some counties are still dry.  And some have more stringent laws... like I went to a restaurant once and wanted to order a margarita... the closest thing they had was a margarita flavored wine cooler... Now, they could have mixed a drink for me if I had brought my own liquor, but the couldn't sell me anything over 3.2.

The town I went to college in was semi-dry.  Restaurants and some stores could sell beer or wine, but no liquor anywhere.  There was a Mexican restaurant just off campus that sold a frozen "margarita" made with cheap wine.   puke.gif
 


Honey693's Avatar Honey693 09:19 PM 12-04-2010

DD now calls the dog a dumbass and can say "I hate Tom Brady"


MissMaegie'sMama's Avatar MissMaegie'sMama 06:14 PM 12-08-2010

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Honey693 View Post

DD now calls the dog a dumbass and can say "I hate Tom Brady"



Hilarious! In the same vein, DD2 (2 years old) came into the living room during the Packers/Vikes game a couple weekends ago just as DH pointed out Brett Favre to DD1. DD2 takes one look at DH and says, "He's a has-been!"

 

(Yeah, we're Packers fans.)


Super~Single~Mama 09:05 PM 12-10-2010


Quote:
Originally Posted by odenata View Post


This reminded me of a story about a couple I used to babysit for.

 

One morning before school, the husband was getting ready to go on a trip for work, needed cash for the trip, and so the wife gave him what she had in her wallet before he leaves. 

 

That afternoon, when picking her daughter up from school, a concerned teacher approaches her and says, "Your daughter told me about what happened, and if you need any help right now, please let me know."  The mom looks at her questioningly, and the teacher explains, "She told me how your husband took all your money and left town."

 

ROTFLMAO.gif

 


O.M.G.  I am laughing SO hard I'm crying.  Oh I feel so badly for that teacher!  I would have loved to have been there!


blizzard_babe's Avatar blizzard_babe 03:24 AM 12-12-2010

At Thanksgiving, DS1 (2.5 y/o) fetched and poured our friend a beer, carefully making sure there wasn't "too much head" (his words).

 

He also smells beer. DH homebrews, and we are what I guess you'd call "beer geeks," so we often smell beer before tasting it. He'll walk up to guests' beer, stick his nose over the glass, and say, "Smells like beer!"

 

For a while, he'd ask for a "Terrorist Fist Bump" when he wanted to bump knuckles. DH and I were making fun of whoever it was that called Michelle Obama a terrorist when she bumped fists with someone, and he picked up on it. We put and end to it quickly because we are fairly regular airline passengers and don't need our toddler getting us hauled off the plane.

 

He likes coffee beans. Organic, Fair Trade coffee beans. He kept asking for them. We obliged, finally, thinking that he'd find it disgusting and never want one again. Nope. Now every time we go to grind coffee, he wants a stinkin' coffee bean, the weirdo.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by MissMaegie'sMama View Post

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Honey693 View Post

DD now calls the dog a dumbass and can say "I hate Tom Brady"



Hilarious! In the same vein, DD2 (2 years old) came into the living room during the Packers/Vikes game a couple weekends ago just as DH pointed out Brett Favre to DD1. DD2 takes one look at DH and says, "He's a has-been!"

 

(Yeah, we're Packers fans.)


DS1 ran around for a few days saying "Brett Favre is OLD!" Which, really, of all the things DH and I (mostly DH) say about Brett Favre... we lucked out. He could be repeating much, much worse.

 

Also, he calls OUR dog a d--chebag. That one's all me... whoops. Somehow he skips over all the bad stuff DH says and has latched onto something that I've been VERY careful not to say for months.


MamieCole's Avatar MamieCole 05:01 PM 12-12-2010

DS1 is 4 and often finishes my expletives for me when I am attempting to clean up my mouth. I'll drop/spill/break something and say "Son of a..." and from the other room I will hear a tiny little voice say "bitch."  Or when I say "What the..." he'll chime in with "hell." 

 

His favorite word for a while was "dammit." 

 

Luckily, he still has a few consonant sounds that he mispronounces, so when he says "lit" or "tap" in public, I'm the only one who knows what he is really saying. ( l=sh, t=cr )

 

Other than my potty mouth, I swear I'm a pretty good parent. bag.gif


blizzard_babe's Avatar blizzard_babe 05:59 PM 12-12-2010


Quote:
Originally Posted by MamieCole View Post

 

Other than my potty mouth, I swear I'm a pretty good parent. bag.gif



Me too. Funny thing is, I was a classroom teacher for years, and could TOTALLY flip the potty mouth switch to "off" at work. Just not at home for some reason.


MamieCole's Avatar MamieCole 06:21 PM 12-12-2010


Quote:
Originally Posted by blizzard_babe View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by MamieCole View Post

 

Other than my potty mouth, I swear I'm a pretty good parent. bag.gif



Me too. Funny thing is, I was a classroom teacher for years, and could TOTALLY flip the potty mouth switch to "off" at work. Just not at home for some reason.



Me too!  lol.gif    I taught K/1 for years and never had a problem keeping my language clean at work. At home, not so much. Wonder if all teachers are closet potty mouths? Sheepish.gif

 


AFWife's Avatar AFWife 08:09 AM 12-13-2010


Quote:
Originally Posted by blizzard_babe View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by MamieCole View Post

 

Other than my potty mouth, I swear I'm a pretty good parent. bag.gif



Me too. Funny thing is, I was a classroom teacher for years, and could TOTALLY flip the potty mouth switch to "off" at work. Just not at home for some reason.


LMAO Dh and I call it "having a filter" and we "turn it on" when we go see his family. At Thanksgiving we were getting out of the car (after a swearfest convo lol) and I go "filter's on" and he said, "F**k that" and DS cracked up laughing.....he was just 19mo at the time so I'm pretty sure he had no idea what was funny.


Joyster's Avatar Joyster 08:23 AM 12-13-2010

This I actually blame on DH because it would so be his maneuvre.

 

DS1 had a friend over and they were playing. They started squabbling and his friend came over and said DS1 had hit him. I called DS1 over and asked if he hit his friend, DS1 said "I didn't hit him..........with my hands". Mother of the year here started cracking up. Fortunately the mother of the other boy is my BFF and she started cracking up too. That's why she's my BFF.


MamieCole's Avatar MamieCole 12:12 PM 12-13-2010


Quote:
Originally Posted by Joyster View Post

This I actually blame on DH because it would so be his maneuvre.

 

DS1 had a friend over and they were playing. They started squabbling and his friend came over and said DS1 had hit him. I called DS1 over and asked if he hit his friend, DS1 said "I didn't hit him..........with my hands". Mother of the year here started cracking up. Fortunately the mother of the other boy is my BFF and she started cracking up too. That's why she's my BFF.



lol.gif That's funny! And love that your friend saw the humor in it too.

 

It reminds me of something DS1 said last year after his baby brother was born. When the baby was a couple months old, DS1 (3 at the time and naturally low-key and non-agressive) started exhibiting some natural jealousy and had tried to "hug" his little brother too tightly and "accidentally" hit him. We had lots of talks about how brother is just a baby. Told him he needed to be gentle and "hands are not for hitting or hurting others." 

 

As Christmas was approaching, we asked him if there was anything in particular he wanted as gifts. His reply: "Some reindeer footie pajamas, a scooter and a plastic hand on a stick so I can hit brother."  He had thought long and hard about how to get around that pesky "Don't use YOUR hands to hurt brother" rule. rolleyes.gif

 


blizzard_babe's Avatar blizzard_babe 12:22 PM 12-13-2010


Quote:
Originally Posted by MamieCole View Post

 

As Christmas was approaching, we asked him if there was anything in particular he wanted as gifts. His reply: "Some reindeer footie pajamas, a scooter and a plastic hand on a stick so I can hit brother."  He had thought long and hard about how to get around that pesky "Don't use YOUR hands to hurt brother" rule. rolleyes.gif

 


DS1 was swiping at a branch of the Christmas tree the other night. I told him to please keep his hands away from the Christmas tree. He thought about it for a moment, then turned around and started swiping it with his butt.

 

So now the directive has changed to "give the Christmas tree some personal space." redface.gif


Limabean1975's Avatar Limabean1975 12:26 PM 12-13-2010

O...M...G....  This one is awesome!  Hee hee!

 

(hmm, I was trying to quote the pee-outside-the-bus story)


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