OK this was kind of funny yet frustrating - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 1 Old 12-07-2010, 02:50 PM - Thread Starter
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My family has just recently moved to a neighborhood where the kids walk to school.  So, for the past couple weeks DD and DS who are 7 and 9 have been walking to school together.  DS has a couple other friends ages 7 and  8 that he walks with as well.  Last week a new family moved in next door with a son who is 7.  DD and their DS have become friends.  This morning DD, DS, and neighbors DS walked to school together.  They also started to walk home together.  Interesting to note but DS and neighbor DS have both studied martial arts, DS is a green belt, neighbor DS is a black belt.  So, that is the backdrop for this tale. 


DD walks in crying this afternoon saying her friend will not want to be her friend anymore since DS and he got into a fight.  DS walks in saying that it was DD's and her friends fault.  DS admits to calling the friend a "potato head".  They then start to argue and a group of other kids riding their bikes home starts gathering around them chanting "fight fight".  So, my DS and friend decided to fight.  No joke, one flung the other down by the backpack, the other gets up and they basically wrestle for a couple minutes then come home. 


So, DS and friend are both outside and I decide to talk with them.  Turns out, neither of them were really wanting to fight, and neither of them bothered to use anything they learned in martial arts (thank goodness), but they both decided that since the crowd was standing around chanting and they were frustrated with each other that they would go ahead and fight. I said, "hey, both of you studied martial arts, so both of you learned about respect.  How respectful was it for you two to get down on the ground and start wrestling with each other over this?"  Of course, both of them laughed and admitted that it wasn't respectful at all, to each other or themselves. 


What I find funny is that this fight not only had no injuries, but no hard feelings either.  It's almost like they were acting because the crowd wanted to see a fight, though neither of them will admit that this was the real reason.  I also find it funny that both of them have spent over two years in training, learning how to fight, and yet, when an actual fight was in progress neither of them used any of their training. 


Good news, no hard feelings anywhere.  Neighbors ds is still friends with dd and both ds and neighbor ds seem fine with each other.  We also set some ground rules for the walk to and from school.  DS will respect DD and her friend and let them walk together without having to be in the middle of it, and neighbor DS says he has no problem knowing the way to and from and after letting DS tail them for a few days to make sure, then DD and friend can walk to school together without the "tail" attached. 


We moved from the country where the nearest neighbor with children my children's age was a few miles away.  So all this is new to me.  But all three of us (DS, friend, and myself) felt it was ridiculous that just because they were arguing a bunch of kids started chanting for a fight.  DD's friend just moved from a rural area too, where there weren't friends close by so this is new to all of us and I find it, welll, stupid, that this happens.  At any rate, long strange tale with a happy ending to a close.  Just had to share.  I guess we have to use some different strategies living here than we did in the country.

Wife to dh since 1999, stepmom to dss (13 yrs. old)jammin.gif, mom to ds (9 yrs. old)bikenew.gif, dd (7 yrs. old)bouncy.gif, and ds (4 yrs. old)sleepytime.gif
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