Going over seas and leaving 3 yr old behind - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 6 Old 12-10-2010, 07:29 AM - Thread Starter
 
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 I am super worried because I am a SAHM but I have decided to go overseas to be the doula for my sister in law who is due in April. I just bought tickets and then starting thinking, I don't know if my 3 1/2 old will be okay with this. He has his dad here, 2 sets of grandparents, 1 set of great grandparents and uncles and aunts to help out with him. But I his mother will be gone and I'm super worried that I'm doing the wrong thing. I will be gone close to a month so I don't miss her birth.. Can you all please let me know what you think. Should I cancel the ticket or do you think it will be okay for me to do this?

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#2 of 6 Old 12-10-2010, 07:35 AM
 
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I couldn't do it.  A month is so long and so long for a 3.5yo that is used to having his mama all the time.  I can't say whether or not it would be okay for you to do it.  You really have to judge what is best for your family.  I just know in the same situation, I wouldn't feel good about it.  Maybe a week...or two, but a month is long.  hug2.gif


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#3 of 6 Old 12-10-2010, 08:05 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks. I was kinda thinking the same thing about only leaving for a week or 2. I think I will leave him videos of me singing lullabies and I plan on sending him pictures and small gifts so he knows I'm thinking about him. He is really really close to both sets of grandparents as well as his dad, so I really shouldn't be so super worried. I will just miss him tons. AT least my mom will be home for him during the day and his daddy will be with him after work in the evenings. 

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#4 of 6 Old 12-10-2010, 08:15 AM
 
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You could do skype, too.  It's free and so great.  You could read him stories it would probably make it feel like you are right there with him.  It sounds like you have the best support system in place for being able to go away.  Don't tell me you are going to Italy or something...I don't want to be jealous. LOL


Tina ~ SAHcarrot.gif- head Mama to - 

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#5 of 6 Old 12-10-2010, 08:25 AM
 
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Hey! I completely understand your concern... However, just please know that children are resiliant! My hubby was a stay at home dad for 2 years while I worked until he decided to go back into the Army for another term of service. Our kids are 8yrs, 2 yrs, and 4 months and we have done skype and short phone calls and our kids are ok even though he was their primary care giver. It all honestly will depend on the attitude of those your child is with. So if your husband is in complete agreement and support, then it will be fine. However, if he had negativity with the situation, then your child will pick up on that and not be ok. You know what I mean? For us, sure there have been tears, sure there is concern, and sure there are problems ... but our situation is different in the sense we don't get frequent conversations or video chats. And they are completely unpredictable and the service isn't the greatest as the area is very remote. I'm sure your child will do just fine!! The lullaby thing is perfect! Also, we print off pictures of my hubby with each kid and then get the self laminators from wa mart so the kids can take their photos anywhere with them and not have to worry about them breaking or getting damaged. Maybe your child would like that? 

 


Kourtney, happily married to my soldier and raising ds 7/08 .... dd 7/10..... and ds 11/11

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#6 of 6 Old 12-10-2010, 09:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Yes definitely skype! We already do that with my brother and sister in law and my niece!  So I will make sure to set it up at my parents house! I am going to Bremen, Germany! I am excited to go to Europe, I have never been before. And my husband is 100% supportive. He keeps telling me that he and Luke will do wonderfully, and he is a great dad. You both made me feel much better, thanks so much for your support! I love the laminated photo idea, my husband and I are both photographers, and that is just a great idea.

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