What condition are your kids in when you get them from daycare? UPDATE!! - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 39 Old 12-16-2010, 09:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for all of the responses, I really do appreciate all of your insight.

 

I just wanted to let you in on the other things that have gone on in the past with this one particular care giver, the one who was overly affectionate towards my DD. Maybe this will help to shed some light on why I was so concerned with her attachment and physical displays towards her:

 

We have been at this center for over 2 years, and have loved it. But the real problems started after my DD was moved from the infant room into the toddler room, with this woman. We've had issues with her from the get-go. She would feed our DD her own food and then tell me "oh guess what she likes to eat..." without even knowing her food allergy history, without permission, just like that. I was furious. She also would withhold some of her snacks from her because she felt she shouldn't have them (she was constipated once and she didn't give her the cheese stick we supplied... she did that 3 different times). She was telling me one day that I didn't need to give her cheese if she's constipated. I said "I know that". She had been telling us that we didn't have to give her cheese, that she still had some at the daycare, which puzzled me... which led me to ask if that was the reason she had been telling me not to supply any more cheese for a while, because she was withholding them from her lunches. She said yes. THAT infuriated me too. They are not supposed to keep anything from your child and they're supposed to send everything home that they don't eat. Here she was saying on her daily sheet that she had eaten her cheese and yet she had been stockpiling them. That was yet another instance where she was spoken to by the director. There were many instances of her just outright defying our requests, for the sole reason that she felt it wasn't the "right" way to do things, even though this was my child, and she had no children of her own in which to even have a basis for argument. I'm not saying that she isn't motherly, but you all know what I mean when I say there's a HUGE difference of what you know before you're a mom and then AFTER you're a mom. So yeah, we've had issues...

 

I don't know if it's intentional, but I do know that if I ever sent my child to daycare in the way she came home from daycare, someone would DEFINITELY question my parenting ability - so I don't see any reason why I shouldn't question their care-giving ability, right?

 

I have more about this but must run right now... Please keep your thought coming, my DH and I soooo appreciate them (he even wanted to know where there was a men's message board to post stuff about parenting issues...lol!)


Heather (40) DH (41) Georgia Mae b. 9/3/08, Charlotte Grace 7/17/10.
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#32 of 39 Old 12-16-2010, 07:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well I have one heck of an update: I went to talk to my DD's care giver about the dirtiness and paint, etc. The women in the room weren't the ones who are there for lunch hour, but they were SO concerned, saying that they usually clean all the kids up after a project, lunch, etc, and would never let them go home looking like that - they even went on to say that they have changed shirts that were too dirty so that the kids wouldn't go home like that. They apologized profusely. They did give me information that I didn't have before. I asked if they used bibs at all, and asked who was responsible for the kids getting clean - did they wash their own hands, etc. I found out that they didn't wear bibs but that I was more than welcome to supply one, and that the kids didn't have to clean themselves - the ladies took care of that. I left feeling good about it and went upstairs to get my 4 month old. The director asked to speak with me and told me that due to some new circumstances, the woman who had an unnatural attachment to my daughter was fired! I immediately welled up with tears because I felt directly responsible, and so close to Christmas. She assured me that while the issues we experienced didn't help her case, there were other complaints about her as well... but none like the one that came on Tuesday. Apparently she was working in the after school care room and one of the women put two boys in time out. One of the boys was laughing about having to be in time out, and the woman I had a problem with walked over to him, and flicked him in the ear. He yelled "Ouch! That hurt! Why did you do that???" and she did it AGAIN. He yelled "Ow! Stop doing that to me!!! Why are you doing that??? Stop!" and she did it AGAIN. She actually did it over and over and over again, til the kid was begging and really upset. The boy went home and told his mom, and the mother called the center Tuesday morning (it happened after school Monday night). In that room also was the daughter of another woman who works there. She works in the after school care room after she gets out of high school. She was there and witnessed what happened, and was so upset about it, she was afraid to tell her mother (again another employee) because she knew it was bad and didn't want to get the woman in trouble). Her mother made her talk to the director and the girl told the exact same story that the boys mother did. When the director called her in to the office to let her go, the woman acted shocked and said "seriously??? I was only kidding!" She also rolled her eyes and told the director, "hey, I had to do what I had to do" . The director told me that she was completely flabbergasted at her reaction, as if she was the one in the right and there was no reason to let her go - as if touching and hurting someone's child was jsut par for the course. The director said she let the parents of the kids in her room know that she was no longer working there but only told the parents who had complaints against her what had happened, which is why she told us. She wanted us to know that it wasn't our fault for her getting fired, that it was the womans own fault - which we know, but it still feels awful to complain about someone and then have them gone within a few weeks.

 

I guess my gut was right - there was something totally wrong with this woman, and frankly, I'm glad she's gone and not around my children anymore.


Heather (40) DH (41) Georgia Mae b. 9/3/08, Charlotte Grace 7/17/10.
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#33 of 39 Old 12-16-2010, 07:35 PM
 
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Anyone who acts like that in a child care setting WANTS to be fired. Anyone who treats a kid like she treated your child WANTS to be fired. Doing both, plus whatever you haven't been told about, means she had no interest in keeping that job.

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#34 of 39 Old 12-16-2010, 08:43 PM
 
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Quote:

 She also rolled her eyes and told the director, "hey, I had to do what I had to do" . The director told me that she was completely flabbergasted at her reaction, as if she was the one in the right and there was no reason to let her go - as if touching and hurting someone's child was jsut par for the course. The director said she let the parents of the kids in her room know that she was no longer working there but only told the parents who had complaints against her what had happened, which is why she told us. She wanted us to know that it wasn't our fault for her getting fired, that it was the womans own fault - which we know, but it still feels awful to complain about someone and then have them gone within a few weeks.

 

I guess my gut was right - there was something totally wrong with this woman, and frankly, I'm glad she's gone and not around my children anymore.


I understand feeling bad for her.   That's very nice of you.

 

But, I can't even imagine actually flicking someone on the ear.  (At least not as an adult... maybe when I was ten, and it was my brother)  It's really weird for an adult to act the way this woman has acted.  Who knows what kind of issues she has.  She's probably perfectly suitable for millions of other great jobs, but not this job.  

 

She kinda reminds me of that lady who bought a cabbage patch doll and raised it as her very own son.   She's harmless to a cabbage patch, but you just wouldn't want her in your child's classroom.

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#35 of 39 Old 12-17-2010, 09:12 AM
 
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Thanks for the updates. It sounds like you've sorted out the cleanliness issue by speaking directly with them, which is great. As for the problem caregiver, it sounds like there are many good reasons that she shouldn't be working with children. By speaking up, you've helped your own child and others too. 

 

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#36 of 39 Old 12-18-2010, 02:03 AM
 
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I'm so glad she is gone, pity due to holidays or not, your child and the others at that center are safer.  And you now know that your gut is 100% RIGHT when it comes to the caregivers of YOUR children.  We DO have a Fathers section here at MDC where your husband is welcome to post, we'd love for it to get more active :) 

 

 


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#37 of 39 Old 12-18-2010, 03:16 PM
 
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I hope that woman won't be getting another job in childcare.Some people really enjoy hurting others.Glad your situation is resolved.

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#38 of 39 Old 12-19-2010, 02:07 AM
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I agree with Jenn on this one.  If you don't feel good about it, change the environment your child is in.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by GuildJenn View Post

That does not sound okay to me at all. Trust your instincts. I would be looking for a new daycare asap.



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#39 of 39 Old 12-19-2010, 02:20 AM
 
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thumb.gif  It sounds like your issue is resolved. I'm so glad it worked out for you and your DD without any more trauma. Thanks for updating. 


Happily-married, bfinfant.gifing, cd.gifing mother-of-FIVE (G18, G16, B9, B2, Bnb) Supermom!
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