My ds is 18 months. He has grown and I need winter clothes for him. I went through my 3 yr old dd's old clothes and found a pink snow suit, pretty green coat and hot pink mittens. They all fit my son now. I could go spend money (that I don't really have) and get him boyish colors or have him wear these hand me downs in great shape. Is this ok to do and would you let your LO wear this? And what age is this totally not ok?
Yep. DS is 4.5 years old and among the spectrum of colors he likes, pink is one of them. I have no problem with this. Yesterday he wore hot pink socks to his first day of preschool, and a number of his clothes are "girly" ones that he chose from his sister's hand-me-downs. It's no big deal.
I say go for it! DS doesn't wear much pink right now, but that's because DW and I both really dislike that pepto-bismal-diluted-with-white-paint shade of pink that most pink baby clothes are. He has a few darker pink outfits that I found second hand (Cheap! Great quality! Perfect size!) that we wear outside, and no one has ever hassled us about it. People tend to think DS is a girl when he's in pink, but that's OK. I just correct them, and the conversation moves on.
The incredibly true adventures of two girls in love. Also starring DS 12/09 and !
At 18 mos., I would use the hand-me-downs. I would just be prepared for all the mistaken comments about such a cute girl. Since pink is traditionally worn by girls in this culture, I wouldn't get upset about them though.
By age 4 or 5, I'd be a little more sensitive about potential teasing, but if he wanted to wear something pink I would give it to him. I'd probably try to help him anticipate teasing and negative comments, role play and coach him on how to respond. If he doesn't want to wear pink, for whatever reasons, then I'd try to find a substitute. Second hand shops, freecycle, etc. are always good sources for inexpensive children's wear.
We were in the opposite situation - our first was a boy and our second was a girl. For snow suits, jackets, etc., I tried to buy neutral colours. They wore a lot of red or brown for years! It's easy to accessorize with "boy" or "girl" scarves, hats etc. if they wanted something with a gender-traditional look.
I agree with the PP about the girl comments, but hey, I dress my daughter head to toe in pink sometimes and people still think she is a boy.
ETA: I think the whole color/gender thing is kind of silly anyway..I have dressed DD in "boy's" clothes many times-she looks really good in darker colors such as blue and brown. Back in the sixties boys wore pink and girls wore blue....I am sure it will change back someday, in fact, it is already changing.
There was a recent "what would you do" episode on TV where they put little boys in a princess dress and sent them into a toy store. 99% of the people defended the boy's right to wear a dress...Seems that in general, people are pretty enlightened. Now, it would be interesting if they repeated the experiment in a more conservative state....
I would, as long as the child did not care. Since I have twins, I am anticipating a certain amount of clothes swapping anyways.
Besides, I have this exact conversation at least once a week.
Stranger. "oh twins! Two boys?"
Me. " actually, a boy and a girl."
Stranger. " which one is the girl?"
Me. "the one wearing the pink hair bow"
Chances are he will still be called a boy.
C-section due to pre-eclampsia and HELLP:
Um, that wouldn't bother me at all. Currently my 7 and 5 year old boys wear pink and purple mittens, because they needed some good quality ones and those were all the colors left at the store when we needed them. *shrug*. I told them if the neighbor boys give them problems about it, they could say "Oh go stick your head in a lake". But it hasn't been a problem at all. If we ever have a girl, she will probably spend her early winters in jackets and snowpants that are mostly red, black or navy, 'cause that's what we have.
The color thing is cultural. If we were in dh's country, it would be a *total* non-issue. But because we do believe in maintaining gender differences, and in our culture one of those differences has to do with the color and construction of clothes, I wouldn't have my boys dressed in something that is out and out feminine once they're out of the "baby" stage and into the age where it becomes a problem for others.
When he was me all day, then absolutely i would dress him in pink. Mainly if pink matched some of the other colors he was wearing.
But then he started preK 3 days a week. Naively, i dressed him in a pink coat one very cold winter's day (must have been exactly a year ago) This coat was warmer than his other more 'gender appropriate' coats.
The teacher pulled me aside, and warned me that it was bad for his self esteem, and that he could no longer wear it. I thought that was nonsense. How could a color be bad for your self esteem? What is bad for his self esteem, is someone judging him badly for wearing pink and saying so to his face.
I did not make an issue of it, because he himself didnt care whether he wore pink or not. If he did, then i would have made an issue of it. A boy can wear pink if he chooses. Who says he cant? Thats what i tell him. I say, in our family, we wear the colors that we choose.
After this experience, i was a little dubious about sending him to school this year at K wearing pink. On the weekend, he is free to wear what he wants. One weekend we saw a classmate in the playground. He saw my sons bright pink pants, and exclaimed, 'hey, pink is my favorite color!'
Another boy in the class had been known to wear pink shoes from time to time.
So i sent my little boy in his beautiful pink pants on a week day, to school.
He told me only one person commented, a little girl, who said 'Why are you wearing pink?'
My son replied 'I like wearing pink'
And that was the end of that.
At 18 months, I'd probably do it if I didn't have much money to spare. Probably not downtown we're I'm likely to be meeting tons of people, but to the local playground? Sure.
DD has a little friend at daycare and he wears the occasional pink hand-me-down from his sister.
With an older boy, I wouldn't unless he specifically asked to.
Mama to a preschooler and a baby.
Everyone thinks my DS is a girl no matter what he's wearing.
He does wear girls shoes & boots for the most part lately. He has a pair of 'boy' shoes but he likes the girl ones (hand-me-downs from a friend) better. But they aren't super girly/pink/frilly either...
He also has a outfits that are more girly colors (not hot pink though) and he looks great in them.
He sometimes likes to wear ponytails but I'm not really that comfortable with putting him in pigtails out in public because it's just... I don't know, he's never asked for it in public & I see no reason to put him in a position to get weird comments if he hasn't asked for them, you know? He's only 23mos... I don't see the point in intentionally making him look like a girl if he doesn't care either way, but I wouldn''t intentionally avoid it if he requested or there was a need...
I don't know if I'd put my DS in a totally pink snow outfit but that's just because I'm not a fan of super girly clothes, on girls or boys. I also am not a fan of hearts & bows & lace. I don't really see the big deal though if you want to do it (but I would be prepared for funny comments). Why spend extra money that you don't have, on something your DS will only need (or even fit in!) for just a few months? But if you don't feel OK with it, you could always sell the pink outfit and use the money for a more gender-neutral outfit (or even arrange a swap with another mom in the same boat).
What an awesome little guy you have! That's exactly what I meant when I suggested role playing and coaching on how to respond if someone asks or teases a boy about wearing pink. It's wonderful that your ds has such natural confidence.
I would if he chose it. He has a purple and pink hat and matching mittens....very much from the girls dept. The slippers he wants me to get him are pink moccasins.
Before he made it his choice no, I wouldn't have, but that is me. Would I have him wear it around our own yard? Of course. If he was out playing and got soaked would it be a back up? Sure. Would it be his main snow suit? Nah. Again that is just me. I would likely go to one of the gently used kids stuff stores and get a more "boyish" one
Sadly, Jan 21, 2011 m/c 6w5d
My husband wears pink and I'm pregnant with our first child -- a boy. We're both comfortable with the idea of our son wearing pink at any age.
yeah i would. i only have a daughter, and i don't like pink anyway, so i have been avoiding acquiring a lot of pink clothing, but we do have some things. no way will i be going out and buying specifically new clothes for a boy if i had one next. i wouldn't pick out something pink on purpose, but again, not because i don't think boys should wear pink, but just because i don't like the colour much and prefer more neutral tones. if it were a hand-me-down in good shape, i wouldn't care what colour it was at all. this is obviously for a baby. for an older child, i would balance their choice with what is best for the family. if my son went to the store to pick out something new, he could get whatever colour he wanted... if it was a hand-me-down and he didn't want to wear it because it was pink, i would ask myself whether i would buy him something new if the coat was otherwise displeasing to him (colour, style, pattern etc), and then go from there.
Sure. DS' winter mittens right now are hot pink. He doesn't have an issue with it. He doesn't have a ton of pink stuff since he is my oldest, but newbie who is a boy will be wearing some hand me downs from DD so he'll have pink in his wardrobe. I would buy DS clothes in any color he requests, but since he doesn't really care about what he is wearing at this point, he tends to get more neutrals/boy colors just because they are easy to find.
To your actual question, yes it's ok to do, yes I would let him wear it and I agree with a pp- the only time it becomes not ok is when he says he doesn't want to wear it- I would definitely not force it.
DS 2 favorite color right now is red, and as far as he's concerned, pink is just light red, so he loves it.
With that said, if you don't like the idea of him wearing it, you could go get some dye and just turn the pink to red. Now that I think about it, hey, I might do that with some of dd's clothes when I get ready to see about hand me downs again.
Ds's favorite colors are pink and purple. When we buy clothes, I let him pick whatever he wants. The only reason I dont often buy "girls" clothes isnt the color, its because they say something stupid on the front (like daddy's little princess, cutie pie, etc.)
I make most of his clothes and he usually picks the fabric, last one he 'designed' was a pink fleece sweater with turquoise sleves and an alligator on the front. If I pick the colors, I pick gender neutral colors, generally nice and bright!
So yeah I dont care what he wears, he has even worn a dress to the park before because he wanted to! He models the clothes I make too, girls and boys stuff!
People think he is a girl no matter what he wears, even after he tells them his name is Levi and he is a BOY. He is used to it by now though!
A dress I made (he was mad because he didnt get to keep it, it was a custom order) http://i169.photobucket.com/albums/u218/leighi123/crafts/clothes/DSC04318.jpg
The shirt he designed: http://i169.photobucket.com/albums/u218/leighi123/baby/December%202010/000_0009.jpg
(this one he picked the fabrics, it hurts my eyes!!! I made it for under ski clothes so the pants are long johns, but he wears the shirt on its own with jeans or something all the time)
i happen to really like greens and blues and animals and a lot of that is found in the 'boys' section for clothes so before my kid could have an opinion (actually, she still doesn't have an opinion yet) she would wear that stuff. I once had a whole conversation with a woman about my son. There just wasn't a good time to use the correct pronoun on my end of the conversation and since it was some random stranger in a store whom i'd never see again, i didn't find it necessary to interrupt and correct her. My kiddo was in a medium/darkish orange shirt with a bear on the front. Pretty typical boy apparel.
I figure, if I'd dress my daughter in clothes with a 'boy' label and let people think she is a boy because there is no reason to correct them... I might as well for a son. for me personally, I'd feel hypocritical to put more emphasis on my son's gender than I do on my daughters'.
i say use the pink snow suit. its cold, you have it, and your kid is only 1. he wouldn't even understand if someone DID make a rude comment on a boy wearing pink. He is oblivious to cultural standards... I bet he likes to be warm and play with snow though!
if money was tight and it being so close to the end of the season if i couldnt keep him in what he has i would put him in the girlie one. im kinda in the same boat but i am praying my ds dont grow any more his jacket is soo small and snowpants just fit. my ds has always been mistaken for a girl from birth even in dress shirts. he is 4 now and will only wear somethings out that are pink (dress shirt, polo or socks). he understands that wearing somethings make people call him a girl no matter how many times they are corrected and on a bad day he will get very vexed. he is a very much in to boy clothing but he wears girlie stuff at home.
Thanks everyone for the replys. Since I am a cultural rebel, I am going to try to not make a color a gender thing. Sure I am not going to put him in a dora shirt, but I will be more easy going too when my dd like a boys color shirt. I will try to dig up a pick of the coat and see what you'all think of the color anyway...
So here are some pics:
Here is 3 yr dd this past summer with a shirt that everyone said she looked like a boy with. What do you think? I am considering getting rid of it. (Oh and please excuse the wild hair as I have no idea how to tame it somehow. My ds is getting hair like that too and I have no curly hair anywhere in the family!)
Here is the coat that I am asking about but it is just the fleece layer in the pic and there is a winter cover basically the same color that goes over it. This is 2 yr old dd. Do you think this is too girly?
And even though this has nothing to do with the topic, I had to share an old super cute pic of ds when he was little. It was moving day and he is just getting his first tooth. Can you see it?
My 5 yr. old son's favorite color is pink. At the beginning of kindergarten they had these pictures hanging in the wall that they drew and said "my favorite color is _____" and his was the only boy's that was pink. He's not shy about it! I would have no problem with it, especially at 1. Now that he's older, if he wants something super girly I let him have it unless it's something I want him to have for years (for instance, I vetoed a pink backpack because I want him to use the same backpack through 2nd or 3rd grade and he might not want a pink one then).
That hair is adorable!! I like the shirt, I wouldn't get rid of it if it's in good condition.
The fleece looks fine. I'd keep using it.
The baby photo is very sweet. Nice looking family! Whether they are in pink, blue, rainbow, tartan....they look happy and cared for and healthy. Lovely.
At 18 months, I probably would without blinking an eye.
I've also learned that it depends on where you live. In some areas, people don't even notice, but other areas, people will make comments about boys wearing pink. But, since he's so little, I can't imagine anybody would say a thing, and if they did, he won't care.
What cute kids!!!!!!!
I would have no problem putting my son in that, it doesn't scream girl to me at all... they are just colors. If it had bows and pleats and frills then I personally probably wouldn't chose it (for public situations) but from your picture it looks like a fairly gender-neutral coat and I probably wouldn't have even thought about it possibly being too girly.
I like that dark blue shirt & I feel like she looks kind of neutral in it -- wouldn't know whether she was a boy or girl just from the pic although I might guess girl based on her facial features.
A couple months ago I was at Wal Mart with my kids, and they saw pj's in the toddler section. I let each of them pick out what they wanted, since they were only $5. DD (16 months then) picked Thomas the Train ones (her favorite pj set ever ever ever now) from the "boy" side, and DS picked some pink Spongebob ones from the "girl" side. He absolutely loves them. He wants to wear them to school but I did tell him no since the pants are a little short on him and I know he'd be upset if they got ruined with marker or paint there.Most days he'll wear them to bed, change for school, come home and change right back into his pink pj's. If he wants something pink, I will let him have it or wear it. I'm all for what makes him happy right now, not what some other person says is ok for him to wear or not.
I think kids should wear whats available to them, or what they like! Until they are old enough to choose mom and dad choose! That simple! When I found out I was pregnant I took a bunch of hand me downs from little boys, I like "boy" colors so even if I had a girl she would have worn boy colors just because that's what I would pick. Heck, most of my clothes are "boy" clothes! I did have a boy, but if I ever took him out shopping and he asked for the "girl" stuff as long as it was affordable I would get it! For now though he's going to keep getting all of his male cousins clothes!
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