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#31 of 51 Old 04-03-2004, 11:55 AM
 
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i say pretty liberally
fart
stupid
retarded
butt
ass
dummy


But only when refering to Bush
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#32 of 51 Old 04-03-2004, 12:26 PM
 
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I do not believe in characterizing language as "bad."

I believe in explaining why certain words or expressions offend people.. and why certain words convey hate or disrespect.. and that we don't use those words because we don't want to be hateful or disrespectful.

I believe that words have power and that we have to be careful which words we put out into the universe.. and I hope to teach ds this.

That said.. we swear freely in our house.. and around many of our friends.. but not around other people's children or older people who were not raised around swear words.

I am going to try to stop the Oh my Gods and Jesus! exclamations, however, because I want to teach ds to be respectful of other people's spiritual beliefs.

And we do not name call or use racial or ethnic or any other kind of slurs in our house ever.
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#33 of 51 Old 04-03-2004, 12:34 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by jannan
i say pretty liberally
fart
stupid
retarded
butt
ass
dummy


But only when refering to Bush
:LOL

~Joan, Happy mom to 2 beautiful kiddos, one new puppy and 2 lovely felines
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#34 of 51 Old 04-03-2004, 04:05 PM
 
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I lived my whole life almost never swearing. If I cursed it was in situations when those were the only words that would do (when you drop the bed frame on your ankle, "ouch" just doesn't cut it).

Then I had children. Man, oh man. For some reason, I find myself muttering, "Jesus Christ!" all the time now. I'm not a Christian, but I know how disrespectful this is to someone else's god, and I feel terrible about it. I am trying to substitute "Cheese and Rice!"

That said, I expect the kids to understand that
fuck
shit
crap
stupid
are totally unacceptable in our home.

But the worst of them all, the one I never say myself and will flip if I hear them say is ,"sucks" To me, that is the most vulgar, low-class, ignorant, neanderthal word in the book. (No offense to any who thinks it's fine; we've all got our own particular bees in our bonnets)
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#35 of 51 Old 04-03-2004, 06:50 PM
 
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Oh I love "sucks," its right behind the "F word" in terms of creative options for use. A word like Sh**, on the other hand, is just plain boring
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#36 of 51 Old 04-04-2004, 08:53 AM
 
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**HaHa @mamawannabe** Yeah, the F word is really the word of choice for my family, kids included, because it can be used in such creative ways ! It gets alot of air time at our house !!
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#37 of 51 Old 04-04-2004, 09:19 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by bebesho2
But my Grandma had/has the worst mouth...I thought the F word was reserved for Grandma's!!!! lol Just the other day she called me "A lucky a$$ b!tch...ya lil b@st@rd". but from her it never bothered me!! She also threatens to beatmy kids and the ythink it is hysterical-it is the oddest thing. Kids always knew she was messing with them although she occasionally hit a few of them when I was younger :
Sounds like my Grandma. Two thanksgiving's ago, I was talking to my cousin at the dinner table, and Nanny leaned to my uncle and asked "Do you know what they are talking about, 'cause it's too fast for me."

My Uncle says, "I dunno, I'm old now, too."

Nannny, loudly: "Well, f*ck me a runnin'!"

My cousin and I turn with that confused look.

Uncle: "Well, gee, Ma, there's a mental picture."


We're still TTC#1, but the family rules are:
1.) Some words are for adults, except in moments of pain/anger when as my mother put it "Your mouth overloads your a**."
2.) Nothing intentionally hurtful: retard, stupid, dumb.
3.) Never call your mother any names.
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#38 of 51 Old 04-04-2004, 09:55 AM
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Cheese and Rice! :LOL

Reminds me of that Andy Rooney comment...I don't have it handy but I remember it as:

my wife comes from the midwest where they say 'Cripes' a lot. Who would that be? Jesus Cripes? Son of Gosh? From the church of Holy Moly? You think I'm joking, I'm not. You think I want to burn in Heck?
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#39 of 51 Old 04-05-2004, 12:14 AM
 
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I've replaced most of my foul language with some fun and liberating alternatives:

From Ned Flanders - SON OF A DIDDLY!!!!! This is great exclaimed very loudly.
COCKROACH!!!
CHEESE AND RICE!
Fiddlesticks - start it off with a nice drawn out FFFFFFF sound and it's almost like using the f-word. (I also use FFFFFFunkymonkey)
JEE-SUE!!! - although I've recently been using jesus! alot and have heard dd using it too When she began walking at 16 mos. she would grunt JESUS! as she got up I'm not Christian, but am well aware of how offensive it is. I'm trying.
"OH for the love of HARV!" instead of God.

We use bumbar-diddly (as in "awww, did you fall and hurt your bumbar-diddly?), butt, bummy, tooshie, plummer bum, bumcheeks, vulva (this has made for some interesting conversations with other people ), penis, she just learned sphincter (we're in the 'why' phase and she wanted to know how the poop knew to stop coming out), boogees, phlegm (aka as loogie ), barf or vomit...etc.

We are terrible here for "OH MY GAWD!" (and that's how I 'see' it, not GOD but GAWD). I grew up with that expression and can't seem to let it go. I am friendly with a woman who's born again and I'm constantly catching myself. Also frequently heard around here is 'crap'. As in, "mama, look down this vent, look at all the crap down there!" As a synonym for 'junk' not for 'poo'. Also used: crap-a-diddly. Or carpus.

I wonder too, why you (general 'you') type G*d but not J*s*s??? Just curious.

I was doing really good avoiding the word shit, but it's back. I use "shoot' about half the time. We were driving one time and I said "OH shoot!" and dd says "Mama, it's shit , you're supposed to say 'shit' ". When i am in the position to give some one the finger, i just put on a big doofy grin and wave. That way I figure they're getting a whole weeks worth and are confused in the process, LMAO. I was pretty good about 'pissed', inserting 'peeved' but i've slipped. The other night, I told dd "Sweetie you are really annoying me with this, please come put on your pajamas, it's late" and she stomps up and says (in a totally serious, calculated voice) "Mama, you know, you are really PISSING ME OFF!" She's also used it in context, like when she was learning to type in the correct field for messenger, and she would get aggro and stomp to the beat of her shouts: "PISS ME OFF!!! PISS ME OFF!!"

Absolutely offensive to me is any kind of racial or sexual slur. My mom is AWFUL for these. I'm bolder now about telling her off. I was HORRIFIED beyond rational thinking when my sDad said something about dd's toy looked like a little 'n***** baby'. I was stood up and said "that's absolutely inappropriate and I'm disgusted" and walked away with dd. My mom also uses stereotype phrases like "He's SUCH a Newfie" or "She is *SO* Scottish* and not in a good way, iykwim. I don't like "shut up" or "stupid" (I'm guilty of using stupid - but I always catch myslef and say to dd, for example, "well, that was a poor choice of words. The car seat can't be 'stupid' because it's an inanimate object. stupid is not a nice thing to say. Let's try "aggravating'". And I am very strict about not using the word 'hate' -even replacing it when I read to her from books with "don't like" or "am not fond of". Everyone and their dog says "I hate such and such or so and so' and she's picked it up. I say "sucks' alot too and am trying to eliminate it because I think it sounds awful. Again, that's one everybody uses too.
ETA- I also don't tolerate CUNT in front of dd but have been known to use it

OK, i'll shaddap now, I've rambled enough. It's interesting to hear what others find offensive.
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#40 of 51 Old 04-05-2004, 12:30 AM
 
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OMG!!!!!!!!!!!

After reading those two grandma stories, I really need a "peeing in my pants" emoticon!!


That is the funniest friggin' thing I have ever heard.

Quote:
To me, bad words are the ones used to be demeaning or insulting:
ITA. My dd sometimes gets really, really angry and calls someone or something "stupid". But when she's calm, she tells me that she shouldn't use words like that because they have bad energy.:LOL Four year olds are so cute sometimes.

We use words like "butt", "fart", and "boob" quite liberally around here. In fact, whenever my ds wants to nurse he pulls at my shirt and says "Boob! Boob! Boob!" Those, to me, aren't bad words at all.

My dd asked my dh the other day: "Dad? Why is mommy being a dick?" In this really super sad, sweet voice. After he told me that, I asked dd if she had called mommy a name. She goes, "No, I just asked dad why you were being a dickhead." Oops.

My ds picked up "Shut up!" somewhere. We really avoid that one at all costs. We just ignore it and hope it will go away. He only says it to our three dogs when they start barking and won't "shut up":LOL
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#41 of 51 Old 04-05-2004, 05:06 PM
 
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We're not "potty-mouthed" in our house but I think the difference is using certain words as "EXCLAMATIONS!!" versus inserting them into sentences to substitute a lack of vocabulary or directing the insult toward someone. I don't see any difference between saying "Shit" or saying "Owwie" when you stub your toe. It's just a verbal expression of pain. But when you say something like "That idiot is a stupid shithead" it is derogatory toward that person as well as being a substitute for something that could be a little more verbose. "That idiot is a stupid shithead" could mean anything from "That fellow should not have put his head out the window and gotten his eye put out by a flying insect" to "George Bush". (Sorry, had to put that in for Jannan, with whom I agree.) In general I think "swear" words help along this trend in American-English to take shortcuts and not compose complete thoughts or sentences. It's seen everywhere in the language. "And don' diss me on this, you mo-fo's." (Quoted from my 15 year-old nephew) :LOL
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#42 of 51 Old 04-09-2004, 10:40 AM
 
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I don't exactly see swear words as a "slang" thing that has helped English take "shortcuts". I mean, after all, so-called swear words have been around since the language began, and all languages evolve over time. It's just that swear words are more out in the open now, and in my opinion, that's a good thing ! I have always wondered why some words are "bad" and some are not. It's about time we grow up linguistically and de-mystify these words. If we do that by using them more openly, they lose their power and just become "normal" words. My kids have been allowed to use all such words at home since they began to talk, and they know when to use them and when not to. How can that be bad? We allow them to use all such words as much and as often as they want at home as long as they aren't using them in hurtful ways against someone. But they also understand that there are still people out in the "real world" who get nervous about such words, so they know when not to use them as well. Yes, my 5 year old uses words like "f*ck" and "sh*t" whenever he wants to at home, but let's face it...he is going to hear such words many, many times as he grows up. so he might as well know them now and use them when we can control his knowing the difference between when to use them and when not to so as not to offend someone else.
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#43 of 51 Old 04-10-2004, 12:30 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by BowNessMonster

I wonder too, why you (general 'you') type G*d but not J*s*s??? Just curious.
I did that. The reason is b/c I couldn't figure out how to type it without typing the whole word (J*s*s) It was late when I replied.

jen: caring auntie to a bunch of little (and some not so little anymore) wild things. Teacher to my whackadoodle 3s (and sometimes infants)
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#44 of 51 Old 04-10-2004, 03:58 PM
 
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Generally we dont like negative words or rude words, and my general rule I try to keep in my own mind is if its something that I wouldnt want to hear my kids say, then its something I shouldnt say. I dont think being an adult gives one the 'right' to swear, so I try to be more composed and an example to the kiddos. Having said this, I had quite the potty mouth before kiddos, and it still slips, 3 years later. But its the general rule I try to follow, hubby too. Though sometimes he needs a little elbow. :LOL

What bothers me the most is when people use Christ's name in vain, everytime its said it sticks out, I can watch a movie and they could say all the regular swear words, I wont really notice, but Christ's name really irritates.
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#45 of 51 Old 04-10-2004, 04:24 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by BowNessMonster
When i am in the position to give some one the finger, i just put on a big doofy grin and wave. That way I figure they're getting a whole weeks worth and are confused in the process, LMAO.
:
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#46 of 51 Old 04-11-2004, 01:03 AM
 
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I was a terrible potty mouth before I had kids but have really cleaned it up. Was always careful around kids - even before I had my own.

We (dh and I) try very hard not to swear in front of the kids. After dropping something on my toe, I have been known to yell "son of a..." but I stop before that last word. Bad though because I would hate to hear any of my kids say "son of a" in that context.

I DESPISE racial or sexual slurs! CANNOT deal. Also hate "retarded". Never use that and cringe when anyone does. So disrespectful. Volunteer at a Special Olympics track meet and you couldn't use it after that. A BIG thank you to the poster who made the same analogy to "insane". I have been guilty of that and will try to drop that from my vocabulary.

I use "suck" and it doesn't bother me. Just doesn't sound bad to me for whatever reason. I try to avoid using bodily function words. I do say "oh my god" - another one that just doesn't ring bad to me. When I read (on this board a few months ago) that some people found it offensive, it honestly came as a shock to me.

Words that dh and I do use but don't want our kids to (like moron or crap), we spell. At least our kids will be smart little swearers!

And I loved the "church of holy moly" thing - that was hilarious! Thanks for that!
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#47 of 51 Old 04-11-2004, 01:13 AM
 
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I don't have a problem with specific words just the meaning and context behind them. By that I mean, calling someone stupid or fat is worse to me than uttering a 'bad ' word with no damaging meaning behind it. I grew up in and environment around a lot of swearing so the words don't really have a negative meaning to me. It's someones feelings behind words that bothers me more than anything else.

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#48 of 51 Old 04-11-2004, 07:49 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by toepea
I am a total & complete potty mouth and say way too many words and phrases that I know are 'bad' words. My kids know that there are certain words that they can say ONLY in the presence of our family....

Same here
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#49 of 51 Old 04-14-2004, 07:03 PM
 
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[i]"A lucky a$$ b!tch...ya lil b@st@rd". but from her it never bothered me!! She also threatens to beatmy kids and the ythink it is hysterical-it is the oddest thing. Kids always knew she was messing with them although she occasionally hit a few of them when I was younger : [/B]
That reminds me, I had an Aunt Bernice when I grew up and she had the worst language, but she was hilarious! She used to tell us to "get the h*ll outa my way ya lil B*stards, before I beat your *ss". We never took her seriously either. Now, I would be majorly upset if she said that to my ds. So, I can't imagine my parents were okay about it. She never hit any kid I saw, though I'm sure she did, if she could put down the beer and cig long enough.

About my family, I also would rather him say an occasional sh*t than stupid or dumb, or a racial slur, which he has never even heard so far. I'm not great about my language, but I don't think its a big deal either. Just words. I'm pretty careful unless something happens and then sometimes it slips. Ds (5) has said a few things, but then says "sorry mom" I also say "sorry, I should have said that word, I'll try and think of a better one next time". I have made up some good substitutes for words and that works pretty well.

Growing up, I got my mouth washed out with soap repeatedly. So, clearly that method doesn't work.

Unfortunately, society is changing, so that words that were "bad" at one point in time are no as taboo.
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#50 of 51 Old 04-15-2004, 12:13 AM
 
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I dont really see the fact that those words are being accepted more and more as a negative thing...it de-mystifys them and just makes them regular words. Every language grows and changes, so I don't see why the so-called "bad words" should be considered so "bad"...they are just words, so let's welcome them into the mainstream !
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#51 of 51 Old 04-15-2004, 03:55 PM
 
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anothermama said it well

we dont say anything that is degrading

not just because of kids though...........
but always.


we try not to swear either
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