would you let a 3yo go on an overnight miata drive weekend? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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#31 of 45 Old 03-04-2011, 10:14 AM
 
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Personally, I don't care if your son is still rear-facing or not, or that you can turn-off the air bags, or that your dh makes a promise to keep the top up.  I don't feel a young child has any place in the FRONT seat of any car, much less a Miata-type vehicle.

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I talked more to DH last night about how he would keep DS entertained, and at what point he would feel that DS had had enough.  I'm almost inclined to let him go and figure it out the hard way.  But I still have more questions to ask. 

 

But, it's not your husband that will "figure it out the hard way," it is your son, and he's the one that will really pay the price.  By the time your DH may have decided your son has had enough, how long will it take for him to return home (which puts your little boy in the sad position of having his discomfort doubled)??? 

 

Part of parenting means, sometimes, putting grown-up things on hold until such time as they can be dealt with (that goes with your retreat, too).  Why make your son pay the price for his Daddy wanting some "man time" with his driving buddies?? 

 

I seriously doubt these other drivers will care about your son being on this drive (many may be going on this to have a get-away from their children), especially when it is a FACT that your husband will have to make stops for your son to stretch his little legs, use the bathroom and eat meals.  Are they willing to put up with that?  What about dinnertime, will your son be agreeable to eating where the others want to eat?

 

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DH told me at the dinner table that he asked DS id DS wanted to go and that DS said he did. 

 

Well, duh, of course he did.  He's 3 years old!!!  The idea of going in a car with Daddy is going to be very exciting for him, especially a sleek little number like a Miata.  But, he doesn't have a clue to what the law is, nor the dangers of being in a soft-top vehicle (for adults of children).

 

Would you agree to everything that your ds said he wanted to do ("I want to play in the middle of the street"  "I want to play with the strange dog in the park"  "I want to eat only ice cream")?  No, you are his parent and need to keep him safe, even if it means losing out on your desires once in awhile.  That's called being an adult.

 

You and your dh have to make the decision as to which of you gets their special treat this time.  Either he goes on his drive, or you go on your retreat.  But, not both.  If you both go, you both win.  But, if you both go, your son loses. 

 

There will be plenty of years ahead for those separate on+one road trips or retreats.  That time is not now. 

 

 

 

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#32 of 45 Old 03-04-2011, 11:00 AM
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My 5 year old is only allowed to ride in my DHs  front seat only little turbocharged car in our driveway. When he comes home from work she gets in his car in the driveway and then they park it in the garage. She loves his Mr2, thinks it's a really cool car. When she's 5' tall and weighs 100lbs, probably about 10 or 11 years old with her current height,  she'll be allowed to ride in it outside of our driveway.

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#33 of 45 Old 03-04-2011, 11:12 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by grahamsmom98 View Post

Personally, I don't care if your son is still rear-facing or not, or that you can turn-off the air bags, or that your dh makes a promise to keep the top up.  I don't feel a young child has any place in the FRONT seat of any car, much less a Miata-type vehicle.

 


I have to say that I agree with this. 

 


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#34 of 45 Old 03-05-2011, 07:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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thanks to the posters who respectfully gave their input.  I definitely have more to think about now.  However, I don't really like the tone that this thread seems to be taking all of a sudden... so I'm bowing out.


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#35 of 45 Old 03-05-2011, 07:20 PM
 
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I can barely drive 5 hours with my kids in a minivan with a dvd player, and they are older than 3, so I can't imagine a 3 year old enjoying it, but maybe he would because my children seem to have an unusually low tolerance for doing things they don't want to do.  I've overly indulged them, unfortunately.  Other people seem to be able to drive long distances with their children, so maybe it's just me.  :)   But I really hope you get to go on your retreat don't give it up.  

 

There are times when I get excited about doing something and I think that I can just bring the kids with me and make it work, and it usually doesn't and I have to give it up.  So to me it sounds like a case of your dh thinking it would work out, but when push comes to shove, I don't really think it's what your husband would really want out of the trip either.

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#36 of 45 Old 03-05-2011, 07:35 PM
 
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I would say let him give it a go...but maybe before you decide let dh take him for a 2 or 3 hour ride one day just to see how he goes. he may have fun and would be a grreat father son bonding exp

catherine

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#37 of 45 Old 03-05-2011, 10:24 PM
 
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I'm surprised by the turn the thread took, and disagree with so much of what's been said. Being able to see out the front of a car is very different from being in the back, and doing things with daddy is just fun. I never thought of my kids going for drives with daddy with the air bag turned off when the were little as unique, but I guess it was. They both lived to tell the tale, and one will start driving next year.

The last time we were in the er, it was because one of my kids fell in our dining room, which is tile.

We take reasonable precautions, but we live life. Part of that is driving around in fun cars.

but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#38 of 45 Old 03-05-2011, 11:07 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ssh View Post

My 5 year old is only allowed to ride in my DHs  front seat only little turbocharged car in our driveway. When he comes home from work she gets in his car in the driveway and then they park it in the garage. She loves his Mr2, thinks it's a really cool car. When she's 5' tall and weighs 100lbs, probably about 10 or 11 years old with her current height,  she'll be allowed to ride in it outside of our driveway.


I love MY Mr2 and it will be my primary car for me and my new baby.  I already haul all my midwifery gear in it. 

I've totally participated in club drives.  They are usually about 45 minutes of driving, then a photo op, then driving, then food, then driving, then photos and potty, etc.  Nice people, too, in general, just the kind of people I'd have kids around.  There are a limited number of kids on the drives b/c of the two-seat thing, but usually 4 or 5 out of 30-40 cars. 

There is usually a separate spirited ride.  I sometimes sit that out b/c I'm not comfortable with the team leader.  I'd likely sit that out with a child. 

No one's ever flipped.  Ever.  Anyone who crosses centerline is shunned as a terrible driver.

And the airbag turns off with the key. 

 

I wouldn't fault anyone else for making their own risk/reward decisions.  Even if it's different than the decisions I'd make. 

 

I am somewhat dismayed at the attitude some posts have shown towards the child's father - that he is not attuned to his very small child's needs.  That speaks poorly of our assumptions of fathers.  How can they rise to the challenge when the bar is set too low. 

 

 

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#39 of 45 Old 03-07-2011, 06:49 AM
 
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I say let him go and have fun. If child doesn't enjoy himself lesson learned on the father's part. 

 

As far as the safety factor. Of course back seat is safest, riding RF vs FF is safer, harnessed as long as possible vs unharnessed is safer and so on down the line. Luckily parents are able to make the choice that they feel is best no matter what others think. It doesn't make a person a better parent because they take safer risks then the ones who don't. 

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#40 of 45 Old 03-07-2011, 11:40 AM
 
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no.

 

DH and I do trips like this, well we did until we had kids. Things like the BABE rally, and the Lemons, Niagara meets. (we had CRXes, not Miatas) I wouldn't put a 3yo in a Miata. and you are right, these things are fun for adults, they aren't really kid things. Maybe a 7 or 8 yo but 3? hurm... And since it's overnight, (you did say it was overnight right?) won't there be camping, strangers and drinking? Thats want I remember rallys being :)

 

I have to admit, if DH wanted to take our son on a event like this I would laugh at him. I have enough fun going to the grocery with a young kid, can't imagine doing a rally.

 


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#41 of 45 Old 03-07-2011, 12:25 PM
 
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I agree that the length of drive isn't necessarily a concern. We've certainly been taking our child on drives at least that long. I also agree that it's really Daddy's call. They'll sink or swim and really be just fine. I thought my DH was CRAZY to take my 3 yo daughter to professional football games. She can't sit still for that long, can't walk that far up to where our seats are, can't follow the game and what were they going to do about the bathroom? You know what? They figured it out together and it gave me a nice break.

 

 


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#42 of 45 Old 03-08-2011, 08:50 AM
 
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i so agree Ellien C. 

 

esp. being a coparenting mom i would wonder why i have such differences about how we see our dd. 

 

and i realised she is a different child with him than she is with me. 

 

she would do things with him that she would never do with me. 


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#43 of 45 Old 03-12-2011, 08:52 AM
 
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My kids don't mind long drives in the car (we drove from NC to NY when DS was four and DD was about 18 months.) Rear facing in the front seat is wayyyyyy safer than forward facing. Dad gets a say in what his child does, too. He wants to do it. He knows his son. I say, let them try.

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#44 of 45 Old 03-15-2011, 10:54 PM
 
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I think it is dad's call.  Go on your week end.  If the 3 year old gets cranky dh can turn back or stop.  There is no reason he has to rush home at the same rate as he left.  The slower trip home stopping eating MCD hitting a few play grounds could be wroth it for them two.  If not your dh will better learn ds's capability.  

 

Your ds might have a different reaction when your not around.  

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#45 of 45 Old 03-15-2011, 11:28 PM
 
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My inlaws have a miata and I would not be comfortable with my children riding around in it, so my call would be a no on the drive with Dad.  I think my ds (who is 3) would love the idea but end up really frustrated after that amount of time stuck in the car.


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