People's assumptions about only children - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 05-14-2011, 07:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello!  It's interesting to me that many of the posts I have perused so far (though no, I have not read all 1500+!) seem to be about whether or not to have another kiddo.  I have had thoughts and feelings about this myself, of course, but at the moment, I'm here to comment on how it can irk me when people make assumptions about only children.  I should be used to it as I am also an only child (and fairly happy that way), but I do tire of often explaining patiently that no, not all onlies have zillions of toys.  No, not all onlies are socially inept.  No, not all onlies are loners.  No, not all onlies have trouble sharing. 

 

I also grow tired of parents who have more children giving me the "you don't know how it is" vibe.  I definitely don't know how it is to have more kids, or to have a daughter (since I have a boy), or to navigate the sibling issues--I would never claim to know how it is. 

 

I also have trouble with the "Why aren't you going to have more kids?" query from people I don't know very well (I can handle it from people I know intimately).  DS is an only because I am too old to have another, we are too poor to have another, and we had two losses, one before and one after DS.  Yes, I like babies and kids.  Mothering DS is the most important thing I have ever done.  Am I alone in thinking that the why-no-more question is a very personal question?

 

Thanks for reading this vent!  Comments are welcome--as long as they are not only-child stereotyping! redface.gif 

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#2 of 5 Old 05-14-2011, 07:46 PM
 
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Subbing. I'll post something when I have more time, but I liked your post and I have an only.


I am a 40 year old unschooling, belly dancing, artist-mama of one almost 8 year old. I just had brain surgery and blogging.jpg about it a bit because it's just so surreal.
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#3 of 5 Old 05-14-2011, 09:03 PM
 
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There is a "Moms of only tribe" or some variation of that title on the forums. I bet all those mamas would understand exactly how you are feeling!

 

eta It's actually just a few posts down from this thread right now! Here's a link though...http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/652903/any-moms-of-an-only-child-tribe  I think the tribes on MDC are very supportive and helpful.

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#4 of 5 Old 05-14-2011, 09:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oops--I thought I WAS posting there.  Sheepish.gif

Thank you for being so very tactful.

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#5 of 5 Old 05-14-2011, 11:37 PM
 
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I had thought you were starting a new thread based on the old one. If this one doesn't go anywhere, maybe I'll check in on the other one. I haven't posted on it in a long time.


I am a 40 year old unschooling, belly dancing, artist-mama of one almost 8 year old. I just had brain surgery and blogging.jpg about it a bit because it's just so surreal.
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