Welfare Moms - Should we be supporting moms so they can stay at home with their children? - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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#121 of 792 Old 06-07-2011, 06:11 AM
 
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I'm of mixed thought.  On one hand, why should *YOU* (generic you, welfare-mom-getting-to-stay-home) get to stay home on the government's dime with your child while I have to work because we (DH and I) make too much and have too much to qualify?  Plus, DH would *kill* me if I quit my job--not that I can, I'm in the military.  He gets to be the SAHP, but I do almost everything-cooking, cleaning, making and taking to appointments (except Autism/Sensory Disability therapies).  On the other hand, I'm fully aware of the grey-area, the point at which you no longer qualify, but your standard of living would crash (because you'd be paying for food, childcare, etc out of pocket), giving you less money overall to pull yourself out of poverty.  Sometimes life happens.  We have special-needs kids, to the point that they need a parent at home because no employer would tolerate their schedules, but I make too much money to get assistance, other than WIC and reduced price school lunch, which we don't take advantage of because of our special diets.  Food stamps would help immensely.  Getting SSDI is too much a hassle, it seems, and the chance is great that we make too much money to qualify anyhow.

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#122 of 792 Old 06-07-2011, 06:13 AM
 
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I don't think that having a SAHM equals being mothered well, or that having a working mom equals not being mothered well. 


 

Of course not. Some SAHMs ignore their children, for example. I am a working mom; I used to be a SAHM. I can't mother my children as well as a SAHM now because I simply can't afford to...but I do think the actual quality of my mothering would be better if I could afford to stay home, if only because I'm a single mom. I don't like the idea that kids NEED a SAHM; but I also don't like the idea that some kids don't deserve one because their mama made poor choices or doesn't have much money or a spouse, KWIM?


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#123 of 792 Old 06-07-2011, 06:29 AM
 
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and yet we never have these heated debates about the use of 'your' tax dollars being spent to bomb little babies in other parts of the world.  hmmm....

oh wait.. i know why... it doesn't let some of us feel so sanctamonious to discuss that, does it?


Is it getting lonely in the echo chamber yet?

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#124 of 792 Old 06-07-2011, 06:40 AM
 
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lynnesg - No one is saying that anyone is entitled to welfare in order to be a SAHM. It's not about entitlement. Providing a subsidy for parents of young children, like many other civilized governments do, so that they can stay home with their young children if they choose promotes quality daycare, bonding, and breastfeeding. It's about the benefits of providing financial support to families who need it. I also have my eye on improving availability and affordability of quality daycare to working parents and advocating for maternity leave WITH pay. Social programs benefit families and are good for children.

 

As for stimulation of the economy, spending welfare dollars does stimulate the economy; when you buy groceries you're putting that money back into the economy. And, once again, please remember that people on welfare still pay sales tax on their regular purchases and property taxes.

 

I don't receive any assistance whatsoever. I'm defensive because my toddler has been in daycare after daycare since he was ten months old, and I think he'd have been better off at home with me if I could afford it.

 

Most people who go on welfare go off of it within 2 years. Most people use it only temporarily. You also have to QUALIFY to get on food stamps, which means you have to need it. Some people lie to get approved, but studies suggest only about 10% of people are actually committing welfare fraud. Receiving foodstamps doesn't mean that if you actually happen to have money left over after bills for once, you don't deserve to buy a nice pair of jeans or even a Wii. How do you know that person buying expensive jeans isn't using her birthday money? Or should people on welfare have to use that for food too?


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#125 of 792 Old 06-07-2011, 06:47 AM
 
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I'm always a bit suspicious of the "people on welfare buying expensive things" claim, because people can buy used things at Goodwill that were expensive new, and can get gifts from grandparents. Just because someone has something expensive does not mean they bought it themselves with money from welfare. And there isn't a rule that poor people aren't allowed to have nice things. Welfare isn't so much money that people on it are using that money for frivolous things, unless it is very, very occasional.
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#126 of 792 Old 06-07-2011, 06:52 AM
 
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And it isn't like if she didn't ever buy an expensive pair of jeans, she wouldn't need food stamps. Even $100 doesn't buy much food anymore.


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#127 of 792 Old 06-07-2011, 07:28 AM
 
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Originally Posted by 2lilsweetfoxes View Post

I'm of mixed thought.  On one hand, why should *YOU* (generic you, welfare-mom-getting-to-stay-home) get to stay home on the government's dime with your child while I have to work because we (DH and I) make too much and have too much to qualify?


I think this is a big part of the issue. There are many people who just don't have the choice to stay at home, because the other parent makes too much money to qualify for help (but not enough to actually get by) or because of other issues. I have to work (though I fortunately do get to WAH now) because my house is worth 100K less than when we bought it. We bought a 'cheap' (for this area!) house at an all-time low, and prices dropped even further so we are stuck. We can't sell the house and move somewhere cheaper/rent, because we'd still be 100K in debt. We can't qualify for welfare-type assistance because we own a house and our income is just above the cutoffs. You could say we shouldn't have bought a house, but it really was a good move at the time -- plus I HAD NO IDEA how motherhood would change me -- I thought I'd WANT to WOH, I thought DH (who makes half my salary) would SAH, and I certainly didn't expect a kid like mine who would actually NEED me at home [more than a typical child might]. I wasn't stupid or negligent -- you just can't foresee every little thing, and even the best-laid plans can go awry. So we are stuck in the lower-middle income bracket, using old t-shirts for TP and making our own toothpaste lol.gif ...and feeling just a tiny bit resentful that my tax dollars are going to support someone ELSE staying home while I struggle to make it through yet another day. I can certainly understand why someone in a similar/worse situation would be upset about this. You're watching everyone else have nice things while you feel like you can't... You are struggling almost as/just as much as the 'welfare mom' but you don't even get to be home with your kids... I totally get that feeling. But I also understand why someone would 'choose' to go on welfare if it were an option... I think we are all just doing the best we can with what life has thrown at us, some of us are more fortunate than others, but I don't see why we can't help each other get back on our feet...
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#128 of 792 Old 06-07-2011, 08:02 AM
 
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Crunchy, my situation is different from yours, but like you, I struggle as much as a welfare mom without being on welfare or being able to stay home with my children.

 

Think how a subsidy to promote children having a stay-at-home parent could help both of us, even if it's just for the first few years as it is in most countries that offer such a program.


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#129 of 792 Old 06-07-2011, 10:06 AM
 
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Wow, I didn't even get to this point. Good thing one of your parents wasn't mentally ill. Thank goodness your dad didn't abandon your family. Good thing your mom didn't have a drug or alcohol problem. I can not believe that people do not have the capacity to walk in someone else's shoes. If you saw my family or some of the things we have you would probably be heated that I have cable and a big tv and a cell phone. The behind the scenes stuff you don't see is that my mom pays for my phone because she cares about me and my kids and knows I have a crappy car and she doesn't want me stranded somewhere with all of them. My X sister in law passed down their old tv to us which is huge and I would have never bought something so extravagent, but it was a gift, along with the cable she prepaid for us for a year(I chose to not have cable because it's not a necessity). I did not ask for this stuff, but because you judge without knowing any background info you would already have your mind made up about me. That is a sad, sad thing.

 



 


And looking at your signature, you have 5 kids. Did it ever occur to you to stop having kids you cannot afford to support? Instead of making excuses for ''needing'' subsidies, how about trying to better your own life through school and setting a good example for your kids. I did walk in your shoes at one point, luckily for me, my parents didn't make excuses for staying on the assistance and made something of their lives.

 

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#130 of 792 Old 06-07-2011, 10:16 AM
 
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If having your tax dollars go to welfare bothers you then don't worry.  My tax dollars are going to welfare.  Yours are just going to roads and schools.  I'd prefer mine to go to welfare anyway.  Who, knows, I might need it someday.  Better to pay in now so I don't feel guilty later.  Problem solved.

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#131 of 792 Old 06-07-2011, 10:26 AM
 
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That's a big leap, lynnesg, to assume that everyone who defends welfare is receiving it.  It is quite possible to be okay with our tax dollars helping children or anyone else in need, without being the dreaded "welfare mom" people like you look down upon. 

 

Here's hoping you never actually need any help - I mean, b/c it sounds like you would be too proud to accept it, even if you and your kid were homeless and alone and cold and hungry, or worse, very ill and in need of medical assistance w/o the ability to pay for it.  You'd probably just pull up your bootstraps, right?


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#132 of 792 Old 06-07-2011, 10:31 AM
 
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I would urge you to consider the example you are setting for your own children in voicing these hurtful sentiments.  Directing hurtful statements at others hurts you and your children more than the person you are addressing in your post, because it sets the example that pointed and unmitigated hostility is appropriate whereas respecting the right of 5 blessed children alive on our planet to simply exist is not appropriate.  Anger over openness and judgment over love--that's a painful way to live, sister.   

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And looking at your signature, you have 5 kids. Did it ever occur to you to stop having kids you cannot afford to support? Instead of making excuses for ''needing'' subsidies, how about trying to better your own life through school and setting a good example for your kids. I did walk in your shoes at one point, luckily for me, my parents didn't make excuses for staying on the assistance and made something of their lives.

 



 

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#133 of 792 Old 06-07-2011, 10:42 AM
 
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I tell you what, I want to have 5 kids too. Of course, we can't afford the added insurance costs or the extra food to feed them, but you ladies have shown me the light! I can be a stay at home mom without having to pay for it! I am so glad I found the easy way to live. I will stop taking my birth control, tell my husband to quit his engineering job working 60+ hours a week and go push carts at Wal Mart because this is the way to go! There goes his high paying, highly taxed job that pumps the neccesary money into the system to pay for your families, but I want to be able to have more kids too! Oh well, I guess if you can't be them, join them? I am so tired of paying my mortgage, I am going to move into the section 8 apts. up the street. Screw the $900/month insurance premium and the $30 co-pays, I can get it for FREE! No more clipping coupons, its foodstamps baby! I guess I realize that my ''hurtful'' ''judgemental'' comments are too mean and that setting an example to children to 'live withing their means' is a ''bad example'' so I am going to become another leach. Sign me up, I want to be another cancer on society!

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#134 of 792 Old 06-07-2011, 10:54 AM
 
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 Of course education is subsidized at all levels (K-Univ.) but we didn't take any financial aid or assistance from that. We worked through school. I take it from the defensive posts I am receiving that most of you have/are taking assistance and trying to justify yourselves with the notion that you are ''stimulating'' the economy.


You are targeting my post, and I have never received any needs based assistance. I just thought your argument was weak. Many things are subsidized or paid for straight out of government funds that aren't needs based (your college education and the city swim team that my kids are on, for example) and those things benefit us all.

 

You are against things being *needs* based, not things being subsidized. You don't think that some people should be more because they have less to start with.

 

I'm not defensive. I've got nothing to defend.

 


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#135 of 792 Old 06-07-2011, 10:55 AM
 
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Well I can't chat anymore ladies, I am off to the mall to buy my designer jeans. My husband will be so thrilled to learn that he didn't have to pay for them! And I am stimulating the economy by taking money from the government! SWEEEEEEET!

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#136 of 792 Old 06-07-2011, 11:07 AM
 
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Well I can't chat anymore ladies, I am off to the mall to buy my designer jeans. My husband will be so thrilled to learn that he didn't have to pay for them! And I am stimulating the economy by taking money from the government! SWEEEEEEET!



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#137 of 792 Old 06-07-2011, 11:09 AM
 
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I'm sorry to see this discussion deteriorate to the above.  I agree with previous PPs that what we really should be addressing is how to promote and establish good family leave policies, affordable (and quality) daycare and other things which ultimately benefit everyone (from employers to individuals to the tax payer).  I would be willing to pay higher taxes (as they do in Europe) for promoting the general welfare (welfare as in good of the society). 

 

I was lucky to get a three-month maternity leave from my employer and my DH got a four month paternity leave (we split the time).  I will forever value that option from our employers.  They didn't have to do it, but apparently they saw a value in it (and it has been shown that good family policies on the part of employers promotes productivity and loyality in the long term).  We both could have opted to take additional time unpaid, but due to the nature of our professions, we went back to work.  Being that I am in a highly paid profession (and DH's good salary), we had a lot of quality care options at our fingertips.  Childcare and other work expenses were only part of a larger budget, and honestly, we were never put in the tough position of having no money for basics at the end of the day.  Needless to say, I can't pat myself on my back for my good fortune.  My life has consisted of a series of fortunate events (combined with work) which have allowed me to achieve certain levels of financial comfort.  I won't go into why I am fortunate except to say that by virtue of certain socio-economic advantages, I had a leg up compared to a lot of people.

 

That being said, I recognize the fact that there are many among us who did not have the same opportunities and advantages.  I also realize that people go down on their luck for any number of reasons, no matter how hard they have tried or how persistent they have been in their ventures. 

 

When people try to lump everyone into the attitude stated above (cancer on society), it really really shows me that there is a certain lack of misunderstanding for how the system really works and the reasons for it.  Are there abusers?  Yes.  Does that defeat the whole purpose of the system?  No.  Do we need to redefine, as a society, what is important to us in the long term?  Yes. 


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#138 of 792 Old 06-07-2011, 11:15 AM
 
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Originally Posted by lynnesg View Post

I tell you what, I want to have 5 kids too. Of course, we can't afford the added insurance costs or the extra food to feed them, but you ladies have shown me the light! I can be a stay at home mom without having to pay for it! I am so glad I found the easy way to live. I will stop taking my birth control, tell my husband to quit his engineering job working 60+ hours a week and go push carts at Wal Mart because this is the way to go! There goes his high paying, highly taxed job that pumps the neccesary money into the system to pay for your families, but I want to be able to have more kids too! Oh well, I guess if you can't be them, join them? I am so tired of paying my mortgage, I am going to move into the section 8 apts. up the street. Screw the $900/month insurance premium and the $30 co-pays, I can get it for FREE! No more clipping coupons, its foodstamps baby! I guess I realize that my ''hurtful'' ''judgemental'' comments are too mean and that setting an example to children to 'live withing their means' is a ''bad example'' so I am going to become another leach. Sign me up, I want to be another cancer on society!

Disgusting. No one is advocating people having more kids than one can afford; we're advocating that we make it easier for parents to stay at home, if they need and want to, especially while their kids are young or if their kids have special needs. The consequences won't be as disastrous as you predict; other countries have similar programs and are reaping the benefits. The bolded part especially makes me want to throw up, because poor people are not cancers on society. What does providing subsidies to SAHMs have to do with your husband quitting your job? I don't understand how the two are conneceted, why that is relevant at all. Your husband giving up a high paying job for a low-paying job has nothing to do with SAHMs or welfare.

 

You realize you're advocating for poor people to push carts at Walmart at minimum wage, so that they can pay half or almost all of their pay to substandard daycare for their children, so that your tax dollars won't benefit them? It kind of makes me lose my sympathy for that unlikely and irrelevent situation. Do you think people push carts at Walmart because they want to do it, because they want to be poor and collect welfare? Are you kidding?

 

Do you think people on welfare don't use the methods you describe of pinching pennies? Do you think they don't use coupons too? Do you think poor people on welfare spend frivolously and aren't thrifty, too? You know you have to actually BE POOR to get welfare, right? They have to PROVE they are poor, prove that they don't have the money to spend frivolously, and most of them--according to statistics--aren't lying to qualify.


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#139 of 792 Old 06-07-2011, 11:22 AM
 
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Well I can't chat anymore ladies, I am off to the mall to buy my designer jeans. My husband will be so thrilled to learn that he didn't have to pay for them! And I am stimulating the economy by taking money from the government! SWEEEEEEET!



 You can't buy jeans with food stamps; very few people receive cash payouts from welfare, and most use them to pay bills. Moreover, the cost of even a nice pair of jeans wouldn't feed a family of four for even a week. Are poor people only allowed to be poor? If they ever have extra money after paying their bills, they're required to save it or spend it ONLY on necessities? So if they can afford a SINGLE luxury, even a luxury that wouldn't cover their grocery costs, they're required to forego it because they are poor? What are you trying to insinuate with your sarcasm exactly?


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#140 of 792 Old 06-07-2011, 11:25 AM
 
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America is full of the most generous people to be found. We take care of our poor and needy more than any other country in the world. Is childcare too expensive? Yes. Is healthcare ungodly expensive? Yes. Those are the issues at hand that need addressing. I hate seeing mothers who have kid after kid and then complain that we aren't providing enough for them. You are getting all the amentities one needs as well as your children and yet you belittle me because I want to see you get off the lifetime support? And I look like the bad guy because I have the gall to say what everyone else thinks and will not say.

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#141 of 792 Old 06-07-2011, 11:27 AM
 
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 You can't buy jeans with food stamps; very few people receive cash payouts from welfare, and most use them to pay bills. Moreover, the cost of even a nice pair of jeans wouldn't feed a family of four for even a week. Are poor people only allowed to be poor? If they ever have extra money after paying their bills, they're required to save it or spend it ONLY on necessities? So if they can afford a SINGLE luxury, even a luxury that wouldn't cover their grocery costs, they're required to forego it because they are poor? What are you trying to insinuate with your sarcasm exactly?


Poor people should only wear jeans they hand-sewed from scraps of fabric they found in a dumpster, didn't ya know? 

 

What she really means is, it's not fair! and she's bitter b/c she can't afford a pair of $100 designer jeans on her DH's salary, so why should anyone else get to buy them? 

 


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#142 of 792 Old 06-07-2011, 11:30 AM
 
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 You can't buy jeans with food stamps; very few people receive cash payouts from welfare, and most use them to pay bills. Moreover, the cost of even a nice pair of jeans wouldn't feed a family of four for even a week. Are poor people only allowed to be poor? If they ever have extra money after paying their bills, they're required to save it or spend it ONLY on necessities? So if they can afford a SINGLE luxury, even a luxury that wouldn't cover their grocery costs, they're required to forego it because they are poor? What are you trying to insinuate with your sarcasm exactly?



Is anyone here from CA? Anyone at all? The cash payout in CA is for a family of 4 is $650/month. Then you get mediCAL, foodstamps and subsidizing housing. My friend that I have mentioned in the posts told her boyfriend not to look for a job because they would 'lose' the state cash assistance if he got a job. Again, providing no incentive to work. Maybe I am biased because I live in this liberal, broke state that is so burdened with carrying people financially. Our taxes go up every single year; we spend over half our income in taxes and then the people taking our taxes complain that its not enough.

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#143 of 792 Old 06-07-2011, 11:32 AM
 
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Poor people should only wear jeans they hand-sewed from scraps of fabric they found in a dumpster, didn't ya know? 

 

What she really means is, it's not fair! and she's bitter b/c she can't afford a pair of $100 designer jeans on her DH's salary, so why should anyone else get to buy them? 

 



 

BWAHAHAHA! That's it, tell her what's she won Johnny! I am bitter because I want the jeans but I don't want to pay for them! I want my neighbor to pay for them.

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#144 of 792 Old 06-07-2011, 11:32 AM
 
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And looking at your signature, you have 5 kids. Did it ever occur to you to stop having kids you cannot afford to support? Instead of making excuses for ''needing'' subsidies, how about trying to better your own life through school and setting a good example for your kids. I did walk in your shoes at one point, luckily for me, my parents didn't make excuses for staying on the assistance and made something of their lives.

 



 How DARE you attack another mother for how many kids she has? Maybe they were born before her circumstances became so difficult? Maybe they were born despite her being on birth control? Maybe she was supporting them just fine and then things changed? Maybe school isn't an option for her, due to being unable to afford it or unable to go to school while also raising children? Your post is full of assumptions and the veiled insinuation that the mama you are attacking does not want to make something of herself. It's not women, like me and the other poster you're questioning, who need the subsidies; it's children and our society that would benefit. No one is providing excuses to you; we're explaining how the world isn't the utopia you imagine where everyone can provide for themselves all the time without help. You think people on welfare are just moochers who aren't doing anything to better their lives...when many people on welfare are going to school, and most will be off of it within 2 years according to the research. You have this image of people on welfare out there just taking your tax money for free and doing nothing with their lives but shopping, and it's absolutely false and ignorant.

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#145 of 792 Old 06-07-2011, 11:35 AM
 
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And where are the dads when all this is going on? Where is the childsupport they need to be paying?

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#146 of 792 Old 06-07-2011, 11:39 AM
 
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Lynnesg, your friend who told her boyfriend not to get a job is the exception to the rule, not the norm, as it's estimated (once again) that less than 10% of people are exploting the system in this manner. No one is here advocating having their neighbors pay for their jeans; we're advocating financial help for SAHMs so that they can pay bills and buy food, while still being able to mother their young children. But according to you, they don't deserve that or any nice clothes, because they are poor. Even the poor mothers of special needs children should have to put those children in daycare and work work work for minimum wage so that your tax dollars don't get used to support "cancers of society." My last daycare provider got paid very little watch a single mother's 3 kids, one of whom had special needs that the daycare provider could barely cope with much less understand. That little boy would have been better off at home with his mom, but he doesn't matter; paying a caregiver to take care of him would be a waste of tax dollars, right?

 

Eww eww eww.

 

This is all making me very sad. And sick.


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#147 of 792 Old 06-07-2011, 11:42 AM
 
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And where are the dads when all this is going on? Where is the childsupport they need to be paying?



 Who knows? Should we punish the mothers and the children for the fathers' inadequacies? Perhaps the father is dead, with another woman, on the run from the child support agency in hiding, working under the table, drunk, in rehab, in jail, in another country, dropped off the face of the Earth, or pushing carts at Walmart for a minimum wage that isn't anywhere near a living wage. Take your pick. My husband pays child support, but it doesn't make me any less poor or any more capable of being a SAHM to my three year-old. He won't ever even remember what it was like to have a SAHM, unlike his brother, because he went to daycare at 10 months old. But he should just stay in daycare so your tax dollars don't get wasted on me staying home to extended breastfeed, which helps improve his health and would drive down healthcare costs/premiums if we all were able to stay home and EBF...


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#148 of 792 Old 06-07-2011, 11:46 AM
 
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America is full of the most generous people to be found. We take care of our poor and needy more than any other country in the world. Is childcare too expensive? Yes. Is healthcare ungodly expensive? Yes. Those are the issues at hand that need addressing. I hate seeing mothers who have kid after kid and then complain that we aren't providing enough for them. You are getting all the amentities one needs as well as your children and yet you belittle me because I want to see you get off the lifetime support? And I look like the bad guy because I have the gall to say what everyone else thinks and will not say.



actually, everyone else doesn't think this.

 

When I was a single mom of 1 I worked full time, went to school full time, and didn't qualify for anything. My job provided health insurance and I budgeted carefully for food. I lived with my parents, but it was not at all a piece of cake in any way, and I paid market level rent, utilities, car insurance, phone, etc. In fact, I bought groceries for everyone in the house. My ds was always -ALWAYS- dressed in designer clothes and people often though I MUST be getting assistance and spending it on brand name clothes. Actually, I shopped thrift stores and used a lot of oxyclean to make them look new. lol. When he outgrew them, I would carefully wash and press them and then sell them on ebay or to local consignment stores or on craigslist. I never bought myself anything, I didn't go out, and I rarely had much money left over from one month to the next. I didn't get a dime of assistance, or child support. Eventually I discovered that medicaid would pick up my ds' copays from my insurance, and that was nice.

 

But the fact that I didn't qualify for anything, in spite of living so close financially, didn't make me think that my friends who had more kids and better jobs and still qualified for assistance, were a cancer on society or any other such nonsense. I just thought,  "well, gee, that sucks for me, but it's good for them." And moved on. That is a dangerous level of jealousy and pettiness, to begrudge someone the very minimal assistance that the government provides.

 

And a year later, when I found myself in a domestic violence shelter, eating food that other people provided and wearing clothes other people gave me, using donated bus vouchers to go look for work, I was very grateful that the assistance issue was one aspect of my life I didn't have to eat crow about.

 

Oh---and America is not full of "the most generous people to be found." It is full of the most pretentious, "let me give you this in public so everyone can shake my hand and pat my back" show offs to be found. Just to clarify. Why do you think so many big businesses advertise about their fablous charity programs while their CEO's are paying the people at the bottom sometimes 1% of what the people at the top are making? That's not generosity. It's all about the marketing and the money. Yes, there are good, wonderful people out there, in every country, this one included. But Americans are not innately more generous. They just like everyone to know when they are.


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#149 of 792 Old 06-07-2011, 11:48 AM
 
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Is anyone here from CA? Anyone at all? The cash payout in CA is for a family of 4 is $650/month. Then you get mediCAL, foodstamps and subsidizing housing. My friend that I have mentioned in the posts told her boyfriend not to look for a job because they would 'lose' the state cash assistance if he got a job. Again, providing no incentive to work. Maybe I am biased because I live in this liberal, broke state that is so burdened with carrying people financially. Our taxes go up every single year; we spend over half our income in taxes and then the people taking our taxes complain that its not enough.



I live in NM, and honestly, I have no idea what the cash assistance amount is or if it's even easy to get subsidized housing here (I know, for example, that many states have waiting lists years long), but I can tell you that there's no way I would want to give up my beautiful huge 5 bedroom house and have my DH give up his good job just so we could "take advantage of the system" (we have four kids, so I'm going to assume as a bigger family we would get more assistance). Wait, living in the projects has always been my dream! I do know NM is one of the most poverty stricken states, and there is a pretty decent gap between the "rich" and the "poor" here. 

 

So, if your friend is telling her boyfriend not to apply for what is probably a min. wage so that they don't lose the help they've got, sounds like they can't win either way.  I mean, if he does work at walmart or wherever, then after it's all said and done they will probably just break even - meaning, it would be the same amount of money leftover every month whether he worked or they collected welfare.  I'm not saying I would do that, myself, but I can see why it would be appealing.  The thing is, either way, they are going to be poor.  They can't be living it up, even with $600 or whatever a month - even if that's after housing and food.  Since you are joking about having your DH quit and living off the government, let's assume he makes $100k a yr (after all, you live in CA, so that would not exactly be rich - but liveable) do you still think your friend would prefer welfare to your financial situation?  Comparing min. wage jobs - which often are labor heavy, to a middle-income office type job is silly.

 

  I guess I'm trying to help you look at if from your friend's view, whether you agree with how they are living their life or not. Unfortunately, they probably feel stuck.  I do agree with you about bettering one's life and going to school and such - but I don't agree with putting down others who are at a disadvantage just b/c you don't agree with the politics.  Do something to change things - b/c worrying about what low-income people do with the little money they have isn't really going to make the world a better place.


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#150 of 792 Old 06-07-2011, 11:57 AM
 
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Well, I'm in the Midwest and $650 is about $100 more than the combined total of our monthly house payment, real estate tax, and home insurance payment. However, from what I hear, that would cover maybe 1/3 to 1/4 the cost of renting a very small apartment in Southern California. So I don't exactly see what your point is? Sure, people get more $$ in assistance on the east and west coasts. Because it costs a heck of a lot more to live there. How do you think you and your family would manage, living where you are, on $650 a month? Does that really sound like utopia to you?

 

If you say you couldn't make it on $650 a month, should I rub your face in it by talking about how that would be totally ( or maybe kinda sorta) doable for me and my family here in the Midwest? Not really doable in terms of covering all our expenses, but doable in the sense of freeing us from having to worry about the house payment? 

 

Does that mean that everyone on the coasts should head for the Midwest or rural south when hard times hit, because of the lower COA? I honestly don't see that as helping anyone! It's not like we all need to be competing for the same jobs and educational opportunities.

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Is anyone here from CA? Anyone at all? The cash payout in CA is for a family of 4 is $650/month.


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