Would you take your kids on a 1 month vacation without their dad? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 35 Old 05-29-2011, 03:45 AM
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I would take him at his word and do the four weeks (and let him deal with his own issues), but only if I was willing to allow him to do the same in the future. If you would not be willing to leave the kids with him for an extended period, then I would not expect the same of him now.

Apparently doing it rong and ruining it for everyone, but I don't give a crap anymorebanana.gif

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#32 of 35 Old 05-29-2011, 09:25 AM
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OP 3 things happening here. 


1. your sick aunt

2. your family

3. exdp's vascilating mind


to me the biggest reason would be your aunt. i know this sounds kinda crass - but being around sick dying people is one of the biggest gifts you can give your 6 year old. that is the biggest gift xinlaws gave my dd. it has had a HUGE impact on her and how she views life. 


going would behefit your chilcren than not. 


your ex. yes he would miss his kids. but he is the adult here. dd has been away from me for 10 days. yes it was hard to say yes but i did. and while i missed her like crazy she had both. a fabulous time AND missd me terribly too. sorry if i have even an inkling that apart from missing me dd is going to have a ball i am never ever going to hold her back. she is going to see your family. and i agree 4 weeks is much more easier than 2 or even 3.  esp. as tickets are getting so much more expensive. it makes sense to go for the longest period of time you can afford to go for. who knows what next year might bring.


go mama. go for your aunt. your children will light up her life - the last few days she has here. and your 6 year old will learn how to deal with death. ex had to deal with death at 40 - was really hard on him. 


go mama go. this event is bigger than ex's feelings. 

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#33 of 35 Old 05-29-2011, 02:57 PM
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I feel like some of the "I would never do that" posts are coming from people who haven't yet been a situation where it was the best option.


Last year, my kids and I lived apart from my DH for 2 months during a move. He HAD to move for work, and we really felt it was best for the kids to wait until the end of the school year. One of our kids has special needs and transitioning her with 5 weeks left of school, or moving the day after school let out would have gone badly. So we let her finish the school year, have a mellow couple of weeks to unwind, and then moved more towards the middle of the school break.


It was hardest on my sweet husband, who missed me and our kids very much. We saw him once during that time -- the kids and I flew down so we could visit him and see the new school. My DH and I had to decide if him seeing us several times was more important than the kids getting to visit the new city just once because we couldn't do both. We decided that it was more important that the kids see the new city, new school, etc. One of our DDs had a birthday while we were living separately.


Sometimes what is best isn't what is easiest.



but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#34 of 35 Old 05-29-2011, 03:46 PM
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When I was 9, my mom took my 7-year-old sister and me on a five week trip abroad. It was an incredible experience. I'm much closer to my father than my mother, who were and are married, and I still remember that the trip was great. I think you should plan to stay for a month, if you can swing it financially, and help your kids to connect with their dad using all the technology that currently exists to make that happen. 

Divorced mom of one awesome boy born 2-3-2003.
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#35 of 35 Old 05-29-2011, 04:07 PM
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Yes. I have actually taken my kids on vacation for a cumulative time of 7 weeks (we were 5 weeks into it when DH followed and then he went home 2 weeks before the kids and I went home). We Skyped everyday.


The downside? We all missed each other, of course.

The positive? Because the kids seemed to miss DH so much, they now seem to have a stronger bond.


As DH put it, we came out of it unscathed and grew tons from the experience.

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