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-   -   Too skimpy clothes? Or others should not look? Paranoia? (http://www.mothering.com/forum/35-parenting/1316960-too-skimpy-clothes-others-should-not-look-paranoia.html)

Lisa1970 06-09-2011 09:39 PM

My neice, who is 14 yrs old, wears skimpy clothes. Recently, when at a relatives pool, her swim suit was so skimpy, honestly, I do not think I have seen one so skimpy any place I have gone, which includes public pools and beaches and such. It was strapless completely, but was sort of like a string bikini, with no strap, and was barely staying on, and barely covered. The bottoms did not cover much either. She kept having to adjust her top over and over again as it was not covering much of anything and seemed to be not quite fitted right either. It did not cover her chestal area, so there was...ummm...well..definition even below the top and above. As in, the fabric was maybe 3 inches wide? That is a complete guess. But, it was very skimpy. But, I know how my sister is, no point in saying anything, my sister bought it for her and thinks it is great. My sister is very very focused on her girls being popular and is willing to do what it takes to get them popular.

 

SO, the point of this post. My sister calls me, Apparently, my niece and one of her friends were at a public pool. They saw an older man there, who seemed to take some pictures with his cell phone. They decided that he MIGHT have taken pictures of them (even though they never saw him do it) and called the police. The police came out and questioned the man and my niece and her friend. Turned out, the guy was a grandpa there with his grandchildren. He did have a couple pictures on his camera...of his own grandchildren. My niece and her friends were not even in the background.

 

I actually did point out to my sister that if niece is dressed in such a way that she gets so upset at the idea that someone has a camera in public place and she might have ended up in one of the pictures, then maybe she should re-examine what she is wearing that makes her feel so worried about being caught in a picture. My sister said they thought that the guy was taking pictures of their rears and breasts. Ok..the guy did not even have a single picture on his camera with them in the background, but these girls, dressed like this (that is how niece was dressed, do not know how her friend was dressed) just assumed if he had a camera, it must have been for pictures of them. So apparently, Grandfathers cannot take their grandchildren out and take pictures of their own grandchildren because teenagers barely covered are worried about their pictures being taken? My sister just kept saying they have the right to wear swimsuits. In the course of the conversation, she said she would not have minded if it had been a teenaged boy taking pictures. I pointed out to her that if she thinks they are dressed so seductive that they are this scared of someone just having a camera out in public, then maybe they should not wear this sort of thing out in public. But my sister just keeps saying they have the right to wear whatever they want, but the grandpa should not have the right to have a camera there where someone like her daughter could end up in the picture. I think grandpa should have the right to take his own grandchildren to the pool and take pictures of his own grandchildren. 

 

What do you think?

 

 

 

 


new2this 06-09-2011 09:53 PM

I agree with you. But my line of thinking is if you dress like you work the corner then you can expect to be treated like such. I believe a person can dress sexy whatever without actually dressing like they work the corner. Its a huge conversation that DH and I have. Now that we have DD he notices the way younger people dress now and he is just disgusted that parents would allow their kids out like that when the fact is there are perverts out there and while the child/teen may be innocent the first impression always sticks and it sends the wrong message. 

Sadly him and I go round and round and she isn't even a year old yet because IMO his thinking is way overboard where as I am more relaxed but I think there is a huge difference between class and well trash. 


2xy 06-09-2011 10:04 PM



Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisa1970 View Post

 

But my sister just keeps saying they have the right to wear whatever they want, but the grandpa should not have the right to have a camera there where someone like her daughter could end up in the picture. I think grandpa should have the right to take his own grandchildren to the pool and take pictures of his own grandchildren. 

 

I also agree with you and the poster above me.

 

Sure, your niece has the right to wear a bandaid as a swimsuit. She also will have the right to pick her nose in traffic. Either way, people will look and talk about her. She'd better get used to it.
 

 


Drummer's Wife 06-09-2011 10:10 PM

I feel bad for the grandpa.  I wonder if the teen girls were expecting/hoping to receive a bunch of attention, and so they automatically wrongly assumed that the old man was photographing them? 


MusicianDad 06-09-2011 10:36 PM

Ok, while I feel bad for the grandfather, I don't think that "if you don't want people looking/taking pictures of you, you should cover up" is the way to deal with it. Hostly, I don't really agree with cameras at the public pool just because you can never tell who the parents/grandparents are and who the people trying to take pictures of kids/people in swimsuits are. Your niece is not responsible for other peoples behaviour, she is apparently responsible enough to tell someone if something feels off to her whether she's right about it or not. I have to ask though, what is she going to do next time something seems off and she has previously been told "well if you don't want that kind of attention, do wear revealing things"? Especially at a pool, where most people are, by definition, wearing revealing things whether it is a one piece or two.


2xy 06-09-2011 10:46 PM

The law says that anyone can take pictures of anything on public property. Don't like it? Swim at a private pool.


prone_to_wander 06-09-2011 11:41 PM

I don't think the actual issue is that your niece is in skimpy clothes. The issue is that she thinks every old guy with a camera is a pervert. Her and her friend thought they were such hot stuff that they assumed that the poor grandpa was taking photos of them with no evidence other than he happened to have a camera. Shame on them for their drama-inducing Behavior

lookatreestar 06-10-2011 01:39 AM



Quote:
Originally Posted by prone_to_wander View Post

I don't think the actual issue is that your niece is in skimpy clothes. The issue is that she thinks every old guy with a camera is a pervert. Her and her friend thought they were such hot stuff that they assumed that the poor grandpa was taking photos of them with no evidence other than he happened to have a camera. Shame on them for their drama-inducing Behavior


exactly. and it would have been okay if it had been a younger guy?? what confused.gif


Bellabaz 06-10-2011 02:54 AM

Is your sister aware of things that got posted on sites by "young boys" (and girls) today? Has she heard of the pronographic sister site of youtube? she may not think it is so ok then when a young boy films her kid. Cuz I hate to break to her but its not just the older guys who are pervs.

 

It can be pretty ungly when a humilating video of you gets passed  around school via the internet.


Bellabaz 06-10-2011 02:58 AM

It is also pretty ugly that I can't edit my spelling errors. Sorry. pornographic and ugly.


mtiger 06-10-2011 05:48 AM

It's some of each, I think. I have a 17yo daughter. And yes, she wears skimpy swim suits. That fit. Does she attract attention? Of course she does. I also remember being her age, going to the beach and wearing a skimpy bikini. Sometimes it's from young men, sometimes it's older men... sometimes it's women. Some approve, some don't. And yes, some are a bit creepy. But I suspect they'd be creepy even if she was covered up. However, she also wouldn't freak out and assume the guy with the cell phone taking photos of her.

 

Your niece likely attracts more attention from the fact that her suit doesn't fit and she has to keep adjusting it than from the fact that it's skimpy.


mamazee 06-10-2011 06:06 AM

Teenage girls in bathing suits attract attention, no matter how modest (or not) the bathing suits.

The issue is the idea that people aren't allowed to bring cameras places to take photos because people are afraid they might take other photos.

phathui5 06-10-2011 06:58 AM

 

Quote:
I think grandpa should have the right to take his own grandchildren to the pool and take pictures of his own grandchildren. 

 

Absolutely. He shouldn't have to worry about people calling the police. Sheesh.


onlyzombiecat 06-10-2011 07:49 AM

I  think people should probably not take pictures at a public pool because other people may freak out. However, I also think people should not call the police just because they think someone may have taken a picture of them in a public place in the clothing they have chosen to wear in public.
I think people who photograph children and teens in swim suits for sexual gratification will do so even if the suit isn't skimpy. It doesn't make it more okay if the suit is a one piece vs. a skimpy bikini.

I think people should wear what they want. They should also be fully prepared that some clothes attract more attention. It sounds like the girl is aware that her suit will attract attention and now needs to get over the idea that only teenagers will look at her or wear something she feels comfortable with even a grandfather looking at.

I think it is most odd that it would have been okay with your sister for a teenaged boy to take a picture but not an older man.

I think it is sad if your sister and niece equate popularity with wearing skimpy clothes.

I think it is too bad your niece is wearing something ill fitting that she has to adjust all the time. That doesn't sound very comfortable or fun at all.

 


Lisa1970 06-10-2011 07:54 AM

My niece actually is exactly like that. I was having a hard time describing the attitude that goes on there. From the descriptions of what was going on, and from what i was seeing other times, she was acting very "silly" and flirty and loud and batty and whatever, and then got upset this man supposedly looked her way after she was bending over or something. She and her friend very specifically accused him of looking at their rears and chests (but they used different words for it) and my sister even admitted it would not have bothered her if it had been a teen boy gawking. But then the man, it turns out, was not gawking. No one at the pool backed up niece and her friends claims that he was doing anything but being at a pool with his grandchildren. And I have seen dramatics like this before. I just think if you are dressed so showy that you would call the police over something like that, then perhaps, you are dressed too showy.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by prone_to_wander View Post

I don't think the actual issue is that your niece is in skimpy clothes. The issue is that she thinks every old guy with a camera is a pervert. Her and her friend thought they were such hot stuff that they assumed that the poor grandpa was taking photos of them with no evidence other than he happened to have a camera. Shame on them for their drama-inducing Behavior


 


Ldavis24 06-10-2011 08:04 AM

so if taking pictures of your family at a public pool is horrible then I suppose taking pictures of your family at a beach is horrible too?

I ask because we are surrounded by beaches and people like to take pics of their families having fun. I had never thought to think it was wrong for someone to take a picture at any public place...it's public.

I don't care what people want to wear and if someone wants to wear a skimpy outfit thats fine. If your boobs are falling out the side or top or bottom of said outfit, yeah people are gonna stare at you....me included because I'm gonna be thinking, "wow couldn't find something that actually fits?" Is that judgemental? Sure but that would be my thought. Why would someone wear something blatantly too small that shows a ton of skin unless they were trying to attract attention? Too small clothing isn't exactly comfortable or fun to wear IME. 

 

I also wouldn't assume an old guy taking pictures at a public pool was being a perv though, at no point was it said this guy was trying to HIDE his behavior like he was doing something wrong...The girl sounds full of herself, frankly.


APToddlerMama 06-10-2011 08:15 AM



Quote:
Originally Posted by Ldavis24 View Post

so if taking pictures of your family at a public pool is horrible then I suppose taking pictures of your family at a beach is horrible too?

I ask because we are surrounded by beaches and people like to take pics of their families having fun. I had never thought to think it was wrong for someone to take a picture at any public place...it's public.

I don't care what people want to wear and if someone wants to wear a skimpy outfit thats fine. If your boobs are falling out the side or top or bottom of said outfit, yeah people are gonna stare at you....me included because I'm gonna be thinking, "wow couldn't find something that actually fits?" Is that judgemental? Sure but that would be my thought. Why would someone wear something blatantly too small that shows a ton of skin unless they were trying to attract attention? Too small clothing isn't exactly comfortable or fun to wear IME. 

 

I also wouldn't assume an old guy taking pictures at a public pool was being a perv though, at no point was it said this guy was trying to HIDE his behavior like he was doing something wrong...The girl sounds full of herself, frankly.


She is fourteen.  She doesn't sound full of herself.  She sounds like she needs a sane adult to give her some guidance.  OP-- I think your sister should definitely be talking to her about her swimsuit/clothing choices and should definitely not encourage her to wear a suit that doesn't cover.  Does she realize she is making her daughter a target?  Not that it is right, but yeah, some perp is going to be more likely to take photos of her wherever if she's dressed like that versus another kid who isn't.  And clearly she isn't comfortable with it herself if she is worried some grandpa photoing his grandkids is trying to perp on her. 
 

 


Ldavis24 06-10-2011 08:22 AM



Quote:
Originally Posted by APToddlerMama View Post




She is fourteen.  She doesn't sound full of herself.  She sounds like she needs a sane adult to give her some guidance.  OP-- I think your sister should definitely be talking to her about her swimsuit/clothing choices and should definitely not encourage her to wear a suit that doesn't cover.  Does she realize she is making her daughter a target?  Not that it is right, but yeah, some perp is going to be more likely to take photos of her wherever if she's dressed like that versus another kid who isn't.  And clearly she isn't comfortable with it herself if she is worried some grandpa photoing his grandkids is trying to perp on her. 
 

 


how is not full of yourself to assume a random person taking pictures at a public place is targeting you? I don't see someone with a camera out and assume he must be taking pics of me (regardless of age) just because I am in a bathing suit! I never thought that as a teen either. I actually don't know anyone IRL who has felt that way before.

Maybe the girl isn't full of herself she is just fully aware that her bathing suit is too small and is paranoid because of that, in which case I feel really bad for her and her mother needs to get a clue.

 

OP are you the same poster who had a thread a while back about this mom and her daughter's again and how obsessed with popularity the mom was and she wouldn't let your kid hang out with the girls or something? Or maybe another poster.

 


Lisa1970 06-10-2011 08:25 AM

She actually is kind of full of herself. She is very pretty and knows it. She does not really have rules. She and my sister gave my daughter a very hard time when my daughter refused to wear a similar swim suit, telling her that unless she wears something like that, she will never have a boyfriend and then never get married. She is a very "flaunt it if you've got it" kind of person. Although, I do think that when someone acts this way, it is a huge sign of insecurity. My sister encourages this behavior.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by APToddlerMama View Post




She is fourteen.  She doesn't sound full of herself.  She sounds like she needs a sane adult to give her some guidance.  OP-- I think your sister should definitely be talking to her about her swimsuit/clothing choices and should definitely not encourage her to wear a suit that doesn't cover.  Does she realize she is making her daughter a target?  Not that it is right, but yeah, some perp is going to be more likely to take photos of her wherever if she's dressed like that versus another kid who isn't.  And clearly she isn't comfortable with it herself if she is worried some grandpa photoing his grandkids is trying to perp on her. 
 

 



 


APToddlerMama 06-10-2011 08:31 AM



Quote:
Originally Posted by Ldavis24 View Post




how is not full of yourself to assume a random person taking pictures at a public place is targeting you? I don't see someone with a camera out and assume he must be taking pics of me (regardless of age) just because I am in a bathing suit! I never thought that as a teen either. I actually don't know anyone IRL who has felt that way before.

Maybe the girl isn't full of herself she is just fully aware that her bathing suit is too small and is paranoid because of that, in which case I feel really bad for her and her mother needs to get a clue.

 

OP are you the same poster who had a thread a while back about this mom and her daughter's again and how obsessed with popularity the mom was and she wouldn't let your kid hang out with the girls or something? Or maybe another poster.

 



She is fourteen.  Again.  She has a lot of growing up to do.  And OP, I see you also just replied that your sister encourages the behavior.  How is she supposed to *learn* when her own mother is encouraging that sort of behavior?  I feel sorry for her and think we should judge children a little less harshly Ldavis--especially ones who clearly don't have someone explaining to them why you might not want to wear a swimsuit like that at age fourteen (the likes of which OP claims she hasn't even seen anywhere else....and I've seen some pretty skanky swimsuits...guessing she has too) at a public pool. 


Caneel 06-10-2011 08:36 AM

I sound old and stuffy saying this but I am shocked by what I am seeing teen girls wearing these days.  I was at a family event over the weekend and one 17 yo old girl was dressed like she was ready to walk the streets, it was so extreme.  I feel sorry for these girls, in a way, because I don't know that they understand what sort of message they are sending and they don't know how to handle the negative attention "sexy" dressing can bring on.


Lisa1970 06-10-2011 08:44 AM


That was me! I think I also posted about my niece dating at 10 yrs old and having tons of make up. It is just sad. I am still friends with my sister, but if you dare say anything, she gets very defensive. I really care. But I am just frustrated with the situation. There is a lot to it obviously. But yes, same sister.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ldavis24 View Post




how is not full of yourself to assume a random person taking pictures at a public place is targeting you? I don't see someone with a camera out and assume he must be taking pics of me (regardless of age) just because I am in a bathing suit! I never thought that as a teen either. I actually don't know anyone IRL who has felt that way before.

Maybe the girl isn't full of herself she is just fully aware that her bathing suit is too small and is paranoid because of that, in which case I feel really bad for her and her mother needs to get a clue.

 

OP are you the same poster who had a thread a while back about this mom and her daughter's again and how obsessed with popularity the mom was and she wouldn't let your kid hang out with the girls or something? Or maybe another poster.

 



 


chaoticzenmom 06-10-2011 08:44 AM



Quote:
Originally Posted by new2this View Post

I agree with you. But my line of thinking is if you dress like you work the corner then you can expect to be treated like such. I believe a person can dress sexy whatever without actually dressing like they work the corner. Its a huge conversation that DH and I have. Now that we have DD he notices the way younger people dress now and he is just disgusted that parents would allow their kids out like that when the fact is there are perverts out there and while the child/teen may be innocent the first impression always sticks and it sends the wrong message. 

Sadly him and I go round and round and she isn't even a year old yet because IMO his thinking is way overboard where as I am more relaxed but I think there is a huge difference between class and well trash. 

 

How should a person who works on a corner (or dresses like one) be treated?  I don't want my daughter dressing in skimpy clothing, but I'm not liking the attitude that if she does, it's ok to treat her a certain way.  I have a friend who dresses in clothes that I find too revealing for my taste, but she deserves every bit of respect as anyone else.  

 

This isn't as much in response to the post about the swimming pool incident (poor guy!), but just looking at our attitudes in general that some people deserve maltreatment based on whatever we think justifies it.

 


new2this 06-10-2011 08:45 AM

Teenagers in general are very full of themselves. However this girl if 14 and from the sounds of it has no real guidance on how to act, dress and has a mom that seems to be more worried about being a friend then a parent. 

 

I have no problem with two piece suits however I also think there are classy ones as well as skanky ones. People can wear what they want but then be prepared to be judged, talked about whatever. While you can't control others behavior you can control your own and that includes how one presents themselves. It also speaks a lot about how one views themselves. And I do believe people dress how they want to be treated, just as they act how they want to be treated. Some people say/do things to attract any type of attention to themselves be it good or bad. 


Ldavis24 06-10-2011 08:48 AM



Quote:
Originally Posted by APToddlerMama View Post





She is fourteen.  Again.  She has a lot of growing up to do.  And OP, I see you also just replied that your sister encourages the behavior.  How is she supposed to *learn* when her own mother is encouraging that sort of behavior?  I feel sorry for her and think we should judge children a little less harshly Ldavis--especially ones who clearly don't have someone explaining to them why you might not want to wear a swimsuit like that at age fourteen (the likes of which OP claims she hasn't even seen anywhere else....and I've seen some pretty skanky swimsuits...guessing she has too) at a public pool. 

i don't think I'm judging her particularly harshly to say she is full of herself...Does being 14 somehow exempt one from being full of themselves...Misguided yes, but still full of herself..The OP confirms that yes the girl is full of herself...I'm not going to sit and pretend that it's not how she is behaving with the OP confirms it because you personally think it is too harsh....14 is NOT a child...Not an adult but not a child...

I do feel bad for this girl because she is clearly not getting any guidance from her mother that is helpful but that doesn't exempt the girl from being full of herself, it's not like I think she is a bad person but I'll call a spade a spade when I see one and not try to tap dance around thinking of the most "gentle" way to say what my point actually is.

 

If it was my niece I'd be feeling really bad for her but I'd also probably tell her she was full of herself...Then I'd ask niece if she'd like me to buy her a properly fitting bathing suit and Mom can have a cow about it or niece can hide it and wear it when mom isn't around so she is at least comfortable, although if niece thinks she is hot stuff maybe she likes wearing something to small who knows....I know all that is incredibly MDC incorrect though.


karne 06-10-2011 08:50 AM

It's pretty common for young teens to be full of drama and self absorbed/self referential.  It wouldn't surprise me that girls that age thought the entire world was looking at them, much less thinking someone was taking pictures of them.  I commonly hear my kid and her friends thinking that everyone is noticing something about them, leading them to die of embarrassment.  It's the age, IMO.


Ldavis24 06-10-2011 08:52 AM

OP, ok I thought that was you again! I remember that thread about your sister (the mom is your sister right?) and how she is really kinda nuts sounding.

 

Ugh, good luck with that mess..if you can sneak a time to talk to niece alone maybe just ask if she'd like a bathing suit that fits better? She probably will say no but you could always offer to buy her one and while it would probably create drama with mom, maybe the niece would really appreciate...It would drive me nuts to see girls trying to navigate what is an incredibly awkward/difficult age with a mom who probably just makes things worse a lot of times.

 

ETA...karne, I think you nailed it. I remember my friends and I used to think everyone was paying attention to us all the time...mostly what we were getting was eye rolls because we were loud/annoying/acting like idiots so yeah maybe we we were getting looked at but nearly as much as we would have liked to think. Teens after all are the center of their own very special universe.ROTFLMAO.gif


Lisa1970 06-10-2011 09:01 AM

It was in April I think, I just remember it was before younger niece's 11th birthday. Niece had a date..a one on one date with a boy, with no adults and it was not a group thing. My sister was supposed to drop niece off at the movie theater where the boy was meeting her. I do not know how old the boy was. But the boy apparently did not show. So my sister said she wanted to cheer her daughter up after being stood up so asked me to go out to eat with her. We met up and in comes niece, with heavy make up on, talking on her cell phone, at 10 yrs old. Niece was supposedly grounded from the cell phone for refusing to take her TAKs test or something like that (TAKs is a state mandated benchmark test here). But my sister said she is letting her be on the phone anyway because she feels bad about being stood up. Younger niece has been in cheer since before 3 yrs old. There was a thing there where you are not supposed to be in it until 3 but my sister always insists her daughter is so mature, she should be in with the older kids. She used the same logic to have her children out of their car seats by 2 yrs old (which clearly has nothing to do with it). A lot of the cheerleaders, even when little, wear a lot of makeup. I just always thought they only wore the make up for their shows. But niece was wearing it for her date. Then niece proceeds to baby talk to my son who is a year younger and take his knife out of his hand while saying "knife....sharp" in a very baby tone. I told her to give the knife back, he is not a baby and he is not younger than her (he was spreading butter on his bread). Then I get told that niece just is so much more mature than my son. My son is not immature, and I don't think acting sexual and wearing tons of makeup at 10 yrs old makes you "mature." My son was the mature one who handled having the knife yanked out of his hand very well. He never got upset and let me resolve it and then got his knife back and went on buttering his bread. And older niece does not invite my daughter, who is 7 months older, to her things, like birthday parties. Niece actually originally would invite my daughter and my sister would tell me privately not to bring her because she wants her daughter to be a cheerleader and "this is too important" and my daughter does not fit in. There is nothing wrong with my daughter. She just is not the outspoken type. She plays in the city orchestra and does very well in school. She is not rude or judgemental (my niece is though, so is my sister). My niece in recent times has given my daughter a hard time about how my daughter dresses. There is nothing wrong with how my daughter dresses. But my daughter went to a pool party and told niece about it because a boy my daughter likes was going to be there. That is when niece started in big time on my daughter that my daughter's swim suit will make her stand out and be humiliated and all that. The boy, and all the other kids at the party, went to private Catholic schools. My daughter wore a tankini. Of the other girls, they were all in 1 peices or tankinis, or at least bikinis that covered more. The boys all wore the traditional boxer short looking suits. But my niece and sister were relentless toward my daughter, insisting that she would be humiliated and everyone would laugh at her and even point at her because of her swim suit. In the end, DD fit in just fine in her tankini.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ldavis24 View Post




how is not full of yourself to assume a random person taking pictures at a public place is targeting you? I don't see someone with a camera out and assume he must be taking pics of me (regardless of age) just because I am in a bathing suit! I never thought that as a teen either. I actually don't know anyone IRL who has felt that way before.

Maybe the girl isn't full of herself she is just fully aware that her bathing suit is too small and is paranoid because of that, in which case I feel really bad for her and her mother needs to get a clue.

 

OP are you the same poster who had a thread a while back about this mom and her daughter's again and how obsessed with popularity the mom was and she wouldn't let your kid hang out with the girls or something? Or maybe another poster.

 



 


karne 06-10-2011 09:02 AM



Quote:
Originally Posted by Ldavis24 View Post

 

 

ETA...karne, I think you nailed it. I remember my friends and I used to think everyone was paying attention to us all the time...mostly what we were getting was eye rolls because we were loud/annoying/acting like idiots so yeah maybe we we were getting looked at but nearly as much as we would have liked to think. Teens after all are the center of their own very special universe.ROTFLMAO.gif


I try to be all Zen about this when I hear how MORTIFIED my kid is about, well, everything, these days.  I can also remember being 14 and thinking my friends and I were pretty hot stuff.  That's no help to you, OP, but just saying, I remember....

 


Chicky2 06-10-2011 09:03 AM



Quote:
Originally Posted by new2this View Post

Teenagers in general are very full of themselves. However this girl if 14 and from the sounds of it has no real guidance on how to act, dress and has a mom that seems to be more worried about being a friend then a parent. 

 

I have no problem with two piece suits however I also think there are classy ones as well as skanky ones. People can wear what they want but then be prepared to be judged, talked about whatever. While you can't control others behavior you can control your own and that includes how one presents themselves. It also speaks a lot about how one views themselves. And I do believe people dress how they want to be treated, just as they act how they want to be treated. Some people say/do things to attract any type of attention to themselves be it good or bad. 




This.

 

I feel sorry for the girl.  Sounds like she is actually very insecure--probably because she is trying to navigate this crazy world w/out the proper guidance. 



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