What do you do that cancels our your NFL/AP/CRUNCHY/NON-Mainstream/MDCness? - Page 11 - Mothering Forums

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#301 of 468 Old 06-16-2011, 08:21 AM
 
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Over and over again?  I don't think you neeed to start lying to prove your point babe.

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Originally Posted by Ldavis24 View Post


Jaysus, Dauphinette loves the drama so much she has taken it upon herself to PM me over and over again calling me a troll

I called you a troll and you responded to me, after that it was just an exchange honey bun.  And a brief exchange at that.

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#302 of 468 Old 06-16-2011, 08:26 AM
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This is completely, OT, and relates only to me, but.....

 

My life is boring.  That I am not engaged in real drama in real life is a good thing, I know.  Maybe this is my outlet?  I do not want real people to get hurt by my words, though.....

 

I need to get a real life that is not dramatic but interesting so I do not waste time in online debates, lol.  

 

I am addicted to the friggin internet.  (hey - is that a mainstream or crunchy value? - we do share some common values, lol!)

 

Back to your regularly scheduelled program.

 

Kathy


I feel ya, My real life has a fair amount of drama in it though. Nothing terribly exciting but my nutty super bipolar MIL who we live with keeps things interesting.

 

Also Dauphinette, another long time poster mentioned this without exception almost all the really old time posters LOVE the new UA and are happy with the way things are now..

 

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#303 of 468 Old 06-16-2011, 08:26 AM
 
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Bolded the best part.

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Yes.  

 

I think there is a difference between snark and questioning/disagreeing.

 

I think disagreeing just to stir the pot is not a good idea.   I do get that some people really are sarcastic/like the humour of sarcasm - and it might have its place, but IMHO it is better when it is done by someone who is genuinely invested in the discussion.

 

I have no issue with disagreeing (except perhaps in support only posts/subforums).  Consider 3 examples from this thread - UC, car seats and circing.  People here have disagreed with other peoples POV on those topics and it is fine to state it as such.

 

Edited to add:  LDavis, I am on the fence if I like drama or not.  I like a certain amount of it, but there is a line where it gets to be too much.  I certainly seem drawn to it, lol. 
 

 

And I actually don't agree that I like drama.  I am just not afraid of being passionate about something I believe in and I going to say something if I feel like you're wrong.

 

 

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#304 of 468 Old 06-16-2011, 08:27 AM
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Over and over again?  I don't think you neeed to start lying to prove your point babe.

I called you a troll and you responded to me, after that it was just an exchange honey bun.  And a brief exchange at that.


3 times upsidedown.gif

 

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#305 of 468 Old 06-16-2011, 08:28 AM
 
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Bolded the best part.

And I actually don't agree that I like drama.  I am just not afraid of being passionate about something I believe in and I going to say something if I feel like you're wrong.

 

 


You don't like drama?!?! Ba ha ha! But you're calling people "honey bun"? Talk about talking out of two sides of your mouth.

 


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#306 of 468 Old 06-16-2011, 08:30 AM
 
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When it goes back? You do realize that you're in the clear minority, right? (You must since you did post on the poll thread)

 

 

 

I realize that there are a lot of trolls here now and that the poll reflects that.  But I have faith that things will be sorted out, it may take awhile, but things will be sorted out.

 

 

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#307 of 468 Old 06-16-2011, 08:31 AM
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enough random internet arguments for me, outside to play for the rest of the day! Woot to that!

 

dauphinette you came out of nowhere and threw yourself in with gusto, that is admirable! Just remember this isn't YOUR website and I think you won't be so bothered by everything thats happening.

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#308 of 468 Old 06-16-2011, 08:31 AM
 
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Originally Posted by dauphinette View Post

.  I come here for support on AP/NFL living.  For inspiration.  I don't want this forum to turn into what other forums are fine being.  I will gladly be warned, I will gladly go back to biting my tonue for the stricter moderation if it keeps this place sacred which is how I like it.  A sacred space for our best intentions and highest aspirations.  MDC should = AP/NFL strictly period IMO and I will take advantage of the new UA to be as verbal about this stance as I can be.


And, as I've said before, who gets to define this?    Is there going to be some kind of test at registration?   Who decides just how "strictly" things are defined?   WIll there continue to be a place here  for people who need to return to work and want to talk about daycare?   Will people have to take all mother-led weaning questions elsewhere?    Will there be anyplace to talk about how to achieve natural birth goals in a hospital setting, or how to make necessary c-sections as gentle as possible?

 

Or will anyone who doesn't live up to *your* best intentions and *your* definition of AP/NFL continue to be made to feel like they are not doing enough because they aren't doing every last thing on some idealized checklist?  Will women continue to start posts about nightweaning 3 years olds with apologies because they "know" that they "should" practice CLW?   Will women whose homebirth attempts end in transfers continue to feel like they have to skulk on for a two-line birth announcement before disappearing forever? 


savithny, 42 year old moderate mom to DS Primo (age 12) and DD Secunda (age 9).

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#309 of 468 Old 06-16-2011, 08:34 AM
 
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3 times upsidedown.gif

 


1 time, 2 responses ROTFLMAO.gifnamaste.gif 
 

 

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#310 of 468 Old 06-16-2011, 08:35 AM
 
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I'm from the south and I like pet names, sue me Sheepish.gif

 

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You don't like drama?!?! Ba ha ha! But you're calling people "honey bun"? Talk about talking out of two sides of your mouth.

 



 

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#311 of 468 Old 06-16-2011, 08:37 AM
 
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I have no idea what this means except the part about it not being my website and while that is true it isnt any of yours either.  I am a long time member who doesn't like the new tone.  Have a great day outside.

 

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enough random internet arguments for me, outside to play for the rest of the day! Woot to that!

 

dauphinette you came out of nowhere and threw yourself in with gusto, that is admirable! Just remember this isn't YOUR website and I think you won't be so bothered by everything thats happening.



 

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#312 of 468 Old 06-16-2011, 08:43 AM
 
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Why does MDC have to everything for any person who floats in?  Thats all I'm saying at the heart of it.  Why can't you get those other needs met somewhere that advocates those things?  Why can't MDC remain pure to the ideals of AP & NFL?  I think those idealogies have their own definitions so they don't need anyone to step out and redefine them, that work has already been done quite well.

I too have bigger things on the horizon today so on that note I think I will go brush my teeth....i'll let y'all speculate as to what with.



 

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And, as I've said before, who gets to define this?    Is there going to be some kind of test at registration?   Who decides just how "strictly" things are defined?   WIll there continue to be a place here  for people who need to return to work and want to talk about daycare?   Will people have to take all mother-led weaning questions elsewhere?    Will there be anyplace to talk about how to achieve natural birth goals in a hospital setting, or how to make necessary c-sections as gentle as possible?

 

Or will anyone who doesn't live up to *your* best intentions and *your* definition of AP/NFL continue to be made to feel like they are not doing enough because they aren't doing every last thing on some idealized checklist?  Will women continue to start posts about nightweaning 3 years olds with apologies because they "know" that they "should" practice CLW?   Will women whose homebirth attempts end in transfers continue to feel like they have to skulk on for a two-line birth announcement before disappearing forever? 



 

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#313 of 468 Old 06-16-2011, 08:46 AM
 
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And, as I've said before, who gets to define this?    Is there going to be some kind of test at registration?   Who decides just how "strictly" things are defined?   WIll there continue to be a place here  for people who need to return to work and want to talk about daycare?   Will people have to take all mother-led weaning questions elsewhere?    Will there be anyplace to talk about how to achieve natural birth goals in a hospital setting, or how to make necessary c-sections as gentle as possible?

 

Or will anyone who doesn't live up to *your* best intentions and *your* definition of AP/NFL continue to be made to feel like they are not doing enough because they aren't doing every last thing on some idealized checklist?  Will women continue to start posts about nightweaning 3 years olds with apologies because they "know" that they "should" practice CLW?   Will women whose homebirth attempts end in transfers continue to feel like they have to skulk on for a two-line birth announcement before disappearing forever? 


I gave your post a thumbs up, and I meant it, but maybe we can have both?

 

A place to go to for AP/NFL information and discussion, but also a place that recognises:

 

a)  sometimes people cannot have the AP/NFL life they dreamed of.   

b)  some aspects of AP/NFL do not appeal to everyone and as long as it is not harming their children ( and harm does not include:  oh that poor baby is in a stroller!) , that is absolutely fine

 

 

 

 

 

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#314 of 468 Old 06-16-2011, 08:53 AM
 
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Why does MDC have to everything for any person who floats in?  Thats all I'm saying at the heart of it.  Why can't you get those other needs met somewhere that advocates those things?  Why can't MDC remain pure to the ideals of AP & NFL?  I think those idealogies have their own definitions so they don't need anyone to step out and redefine them, that work has already been done quite well.

I too have bigger things on the horizon today so on that note I think I will go brush my teeth....i'll let y'all speculate as to what with.



 



 


People are whole beings.  I do not think MDC should become completely mainstream, but acknowledge the whole person.  I do not think MDC is only meant to inspire - it is meant to be a community - and I should feel comfortable posting about my crunchy and not-so-crunchy experiences.

 

I think one practical solution might be more "Support only" threads.  If the Op decides it is support only because that is what the OP needs then that should be honoured.  If the OP is game for debate, then leave off the "support only".  Sometimes I really only want to hear answers in the parameters outlined, sometimes I really do want discussion.  

 

 

 

 

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#315 of 468 Old 06-16-2011, 09:00 AM
 
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Originally Posted by savithny View Post


 


And, as I've said before, who gets to define this?    Is there going to be some kind of test at registration?   Who decides just how "strictly" things are defined?   WIll there continue to be a place here  for people who need to return to work and want to talk about daycare?   Will people have to take all mother-led weaning questions elsewhere?    Will there be anyplace to talk about how to achieve natural birth goals in a hospital setting, or how to make necessary c-sections as gentle as possible?

 

Or will anyone who doesn't live up to *your* best intentions and *your* definition of AP/NFL continue to be made to feel like they are not doing enough because they aren't doing every last thing on some idealized checklist?  Will women continue to start posts about nightweaning 3 years olds with apologies because they "know" that they "should" practice CLW?   Will women whose homebirth attempts end in transfers continue to feel like they have to skulk on for a two-line birth announcement before disappearing forever? 



 



Quote:
Originally Posted by dauphinette View Post

Why does MDC have to everything for any person who floats in?  Thats all I'm saying at the heart of it.  Why can't you get those other needs met somewhere that advocates those things?  Why can't MDC remain pure to the ideals of AP & NFL?  I think those idealogies have their own definitions so they don't need anyone to step out and redefine them, that work has already been done quite well.

I too have bigger things on the horizon today so on that note I think I will go brush my teeth....i'll let y'all speculate as to what with.



 



 


Because when you act all totalitarian about the ideals, your community is more like a cult than a healthy community? And 99% of the member feel like frauds in some way? And it encourages really silly "us vs them" mentalities over really petty things?

 

 

 

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#316 of 468 Old 06-16-2011, 09:14 AM
 
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Because when you act all totalitarian about the ideals, your community is more like a cult than a healthy community? And 99% of the member feel like frauds in some way? And it encourages really silly "us vs them" mentalities over really petty things?

 

 

 

Yes!  Thank you!

 

Seeking purity in anything is not healthy nor is it conductive to real life.  Plus on a personal level it makes me grossedout.gif.

 

@Kathymuggle:  I think if a poster asks for support only that should be kept in mind when responding.  But I have also seen many threads like that in the past where the poster just wants people to agree with their (often very disturbing and damaging) choices.  So it has to be the call of the respondant I think.  I for one am not cool with telling someone it is ok to stay with her abusive husband "for the kids" even though they request support only to do that yk?

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@Kathymuggle:  I think if a poster asks for support only that should be kept in mind when responding.  But I have also seen many threads like that in the past where the poster just wants people to agree with their (often very disturbing and damaging) choices.  So it has to be the call of the respondant I think.  I for one am not cool with telling someone it is ok to stay with her abusive husband "for the kids" even though they request support only to do that yk?


Yes.  Perhaps hard and fast rules are not the answer - and letting posters decide will ultimately be for the best.

 

It would be nice if every thread did not dissolve into arguements, though, between groups of people.   Maybe it will work itself out over time.

 

 

 

 

 

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#318 of 468 Old 06-16-2011, 09:21 AM
 
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Why does MDC have to everything for any person who floats in?  Thats all I'm saying at the heart of it.  Why can't you get those other needs met somewhere that advocates those things?  Why can't MDC remain pure to the ideals of AP & NFL?  I think those idealogies have their own definitions so they don't need anyone to step out and redefine them, that work has already been done quite well.

I too have bigger things on the horizon today so on that note I think I will go brush my teeth....i'll let y'all speculate as to what with.

 

 

So you're saying that ONLY people who buy the whole package as you define it should be here?   That even if on a mainstream board there's no place for support for mother-led weaning at 3 years old, a woman who does not want to wait until her child weans themself should not bother to join this community?

 

AP and NFL have their own definitions?   Who is defining them?   Dr. Sears?   Peggy?   You?   

 

The definitions out there are pretty basic, and open to wide variations in interpretation.   Is it more "natural" to subsist on coconut oil and pork fat or to live on almonds and brown rice?     Is it more "natural" to wean at the onset of a new pregnancy or to tandem?  Is it more "natural" to want a birth assistant or to want to be left alone?     Are you more 'attached' if you carry your baby on your back or push her in a stroller facing you so she can see your face at all times?  Does "gentle discipline" mean no hitting, or does it mean never allowing a child to experience disappointment? 

 

When do we have the referendum on what all these terms mean and what practices are required in order to consider yourself "natural" or "attached" or "gentle? 

 


savithny, 42 year old moderate mom to DS Primo (age 12) and DD Secunda (age 9).

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#319 of 468 Old 06-16-2011, 09:22 AM
 
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Why does MDC have to everything for any person who floats in?  Thats all I'm saying at the heart of it.  Why can't you get those other needs met somewhere that advocates those things?  Why can't MDC remain pure to the ideals of AP & NFL?  I think those idealogies have their own definitions so they don't need anyone to step out and redefine them, that work has already been done quite well.

I too have bigger things on the horizon today so on that note I think I will go brush my teeth....i'll let y'all speculate as to what with.



 



 

 

You are really into in-group out-group mentality aren't you?  Here is the deal:  I get to define if I belong here.  I do it by deciding if I feel comfy here, not by listing my choices and comparing them to some, apparently pre-existing AP checklist from on high.  You don't get a vote on who hangs out at MDC, nor should you be striving for such a disturbing selectionism IMO. 

 

I don't see how MDC is straying from their ideals by welcoming all people who need community from a great group of peeps.  As has been stated over and over in this discussion, people come clueless about what AP is, they stay for the community, and they LEARN.  Saying you only want people here with some sort of pre-existing crunch pedigree is anathema to the whole point of this community. Plus it shows a suprising lack of tolerance and patience with things outside of your little box.
 

 

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#320 of 468 Old 06-16-2011, 09:26 AM
 
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So you're saying that ONLY people who buy the whole package as you define it should be here?   That even if on a mainstream board there's no place for support for mother-led weaning at 3 years old, a woman who does not want to wait until her child weans themself should not bother to join this community?

 

AP and NFL have their own definitions?   Who is defining them?   Dr. Sears?   Peggy?   You?   

 

The definitions out there are pretty basic, and open to wide variations in interpretation.   Is it more "natural" to subsist on coconut oil and pork fat or to live on almonds and brown rice?     Is it more "natural" to wean at the onset of a new pregnancy or to tandem?  Is it more "natural" to want a birth assistant or to want to be left alone?     Are you more 'attached' if you carry your baby on your back or push her in a stroller facing you so she can see your face at all times?  Does "gentle discipline" mean no hitting, or does it mean never allowing a child to experience disappointment? 

 

When do we have the referendum on what all these terms mean and what practices are required in order to consider yourself "natural" or "attached" or "gentle? 

 


yeahthat.gif

 

That is exactly what I was referring to on the Questions & Suggestions subforum.  Who defines what is AP & NFL anyway?  You can never live up to the Supreme Mother Nature Goddess of MDC so exactly who is going to be posting here?  The answer:  NO ONE. 

 


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#321 of 468 Old 06-16-2011, 09:34 AM
 
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The whole "why are you here!?!?" or "there are tons of other places on the web for your mainstream kind" comments are super annoying.  Do you run MDC?  Everyone is welcome here, short of pervs, spambots, blatant child abusers, and the like.  If MDC is not as *crunch* *crunch* as you prefer it to be, why don't you, yourself, go find a new Internet home?  Surely there are plenty of to the extreme NFL/AP places to hang out on the World Wide Web. 

 

That's not nice, I know, but you see, it goes both ways.  MDC can't be all encompassing and welcoming to a variety of people - some who aren't even parents - if members all have to meet some pre-defined mold or approval to be accepted here.  Short of the infamous Kween Krunch (that was entertaining and infuriating at the same time), no one is the perfect natural family living persona, so as long as we all hold similar ideals and all want to be here, who the heck cares?

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#322 of 468 Old 06-16-2011, 09:41 AM
 
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I should have read the last page before posting, b/c you said it all better than I did.  Seriously, we can all co-exist here regardless of if we SAH, work, have 10 babies or none, use toilet paper or $hit outside.  Tolerance, people, and once you open your mind a bit, you might just learn something new. 
 

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You are really into in-group out-group mentality aren't you?  Here is the deal:  I get to define if I belong here.  I do it by deciding if I feel comfy here, not by listing my choices and comparing them to some, apparently pre-existing AP checklist from on high.  You don't get a vote on who hangs out at MDC, nor should you be striving for such a disturbing selectionism IMO. 

 

I don't see how MDC is straying from their ideals by welcoming all people who need community from a great group of peeps.  As has been stated over and over in this discussion, people come clueless about what AP is, they stay for the community, and they LEARN.  Saying you only want people here with some sort of pre-existing crunch pedigree is anathema to the whole point of this community. Plus it shows a suprising lack of tolerance and patience with things outside of your little box.
 

 



 


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#323 of 468 Old 06-16-2011, 09:55 AM
 
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MDC can't be all encompassing and welcoming to a variety of people - some who aren't even parents - if members all have to meet some pre-defined mold or approval to be accepted here.  Short of the infamous Kween Krunch (that was entertaining and infuriating at the same time), no one is the perfect natural family living persona, so as long as we all hold similar ideals and all want to be here, who the heck cares?


I totally agree.  As I mentioned in my previous post, I have learned a lot here at MDC.  I came here with certain ideals and/or hunches about how I wanted to parent and I didn't really have any role models IRL.  Much of what I learned about AP, I learned here.  I didn't come to MDC with any practical skills on the subject.  Just a set of ideals with the desire to put them to use the best way that I could. 

 

One of the specific things that I appreciate about MDC is that I have found a community where working moms are welcome.  It is not so much an issue now since DD is older, but there was a time where I felt that I could fail at this AP parenting thing simply because I worked.  Rather, lots of MDC parents gave me great advice and I appreciate that MDC is inclusive in that respect.  My day-to-day reality would prevent me from what some parents consider THE IDEAL.  But I don't care, MDC has helped me a be a better parent...to step back and reconsider prior positions. 
 

 

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Yeah, I've had it with "Take your not-so-pure AP-ish approach to a more mainstream forum." I can't get good advice in those forums! Mothering is wonderful. I am deeply in love with the community here, including the people who UC and never let a speck of plastic in their house. God bless people who are that committed! I am floored by how extreme some people are, in a good way! I ADMIRE YOU!!! I AM JEALOUS OF YOU!!! blowkiss.gif

 

However, I have never, in all my life, EVER fit in. I don't fit in completely here, and I certainly don't fit in at the more mainstream forums.

 

I need a safe place to talk about how to pump and bottle feed at 4 weeks when I HAVE to go back to work at 5 weeks, instead of being shut down with a single comment, "Mama, you should never offer a bottle before six weeks." I can't get help with this in a mainstream forum.

 

I want advice about wraps AND strollers. Cosleeping AND cribs.

 

I don't long for the "old days" of Mothering, because I am deeply relieved to know there are others like me. EVERYONE in my local mom's group had a homebirth, shunned bottles, still cosleeps, and don't own cribs or strollers. I think, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? WHAT WENT WRONG??? mecry.gif

 

Thank god these boards have not remained "pure to the ideals of AP/NFL" because otherwise I would be LOST...


Sandy (41), Mama to Oscar (Feb 2009) and Aria (April 2012), infertility and miscarriage survivor brokenheart.gif 11/25/10 and brokenheart.gif 6/22/11.

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#325 of 468 Old 06-16-2011, 11:16 AM
 
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The thing I keep coming back to that I just can't understand is why so many people think that just because some of us have opinions about things that others consider too crunchy is in any way us looking down on them for not feeling the same way. It seems like a lot of people are getting their panties in a wad because people have beliefs that MDC's missions statement promotes.
For example:

I love to wear my baby, but I have a stroller and see no reason for people not to use a stroller.
I really think natural child birth is the way to go, but I understand that there are a lot things that get in the way and reasons not to do that. While I do think that intervention has a domino effect that can lead to an unwanted c-section, I also understand that there are a lot of other causes and reasons for sections.
I co sleep, but I have no problem with people having cribs.
I am strongly against circ, but I think whats done is done and there is no reason to make anyone feel bad for it.
I would love it if everyone could breastfeed, but I know its not possible. I wish the education about breastfeeding was better, and more supportive. Ive known a lot of women who have stopped after a few days because their doctor recommended it. I know some of the best education comes from the hospital lactation consultants.
I dont like baby food. I think its gross, and since we arent out a lot, we dont use it. I dont think twice when I see someone feeding their kid from a jar.
I use cloth diapers full time. I love them. I think they are cute. Ive saved a ton of money, but I dont have any judgment about using sposies. Ive used them before, and I will again.


If I put all of this in my signature, Id be a "brand whore" (yep, just cant move past that. It was sooo presumptuous) even though these are my belifes. I never knew what AP was before I found this website. I just planned on doing these things because its what I felt was right and because I was (and still am) poor and it saves money.



I have big problems with abuse, neglect, huge safety issues, corporations, classism, racism, sizeism, sexism, homophobia, environmental destruction, and excessive capitalism. I try to keep my negative comments towards people about these issues to a minimum because most of them dont really relate to parenting, and this is a parenting website. I have other outlets for being upset about the state of the world as a whole.

Everyone has to do what is right for them and their family, hopefully with respect for the outside world while they are doing it.

Holly and David partners.gif

Adaline love.gif (3/20/10), and Charlie brokenheart.gif (1/26/12- 4/10/12) and our identical  rainbow1284.gif  twins Callie and Wendy (01/04/13)

SIDS happens. 

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#326 of 468 Old 06-16-2011, 12:12 PM
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I want to respond to a lot of this, but too much to do quotes...

 

  • For everyone that says something like, "I don't understand why people think natural mamas look down on less-natural mamas," you are either not one of the ones doing it, or you are doing it a lot, possibly passive aggressively.  I won't decide that for you, but most of you fit into column A.  We just all tend to remember the fields of clover a lot less vividly than the one sticker in our foot.
  • I agree that discussion and/or disagreement is healthy, but that it should only come from people who can actually contribute to the conversation.  This applies to everyone on every subject.  Meaning, if you support UC, you should be allowed to respectfully disagree on those boards.  If you support gentle discipline, you should be allowed to discuss different approaches on those boards.  And in threads like this one--and the "you know you're crunchy if" one--people who come in just to criticize the thread should probably think twice and just turn around.  If you don't think the thread belongs, take it up with a moderator.  If you can contribute to the thread, in a healthy, respectful way, GREAT!  But if you come in saying something like, "This thread is crap, what's wrong with you people?  This ain't TheNest!" or "Way to be an exclusive cult, mamas!" then you fit into column B above.
  • As people have said in other threads, threads like this one are going to happen.  There is going to be some turmoil as everyone adjusts to the new UA, and as the UA evolves, as the poll shows me it might not be quite done cooking yet.  That's fine.  But perhaps complaints about the very nature of the board belong in the Questions and Suggestions forum or a moderator's inbox, with references made back to these threads, instead of interjected just to disturb the flow of an otherwise peaceful and fun thread.
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#327 of 468 Old 06-16-2011, 12:49 PM
 
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*

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#328 of 468 Old 06-16-2011, 12:50 PM
 
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I'm posting this here, but really it's a thought that's been running through my mind ever since the huge trolls thread, and through several others running alongside this thread...

 

I get the whole backlash against being made to feel not crunchy enough or too crunchy.  When DD grew out of her little baby bucket carseat, the research I did on MDC made me feel like I NEEDED to buy some super expensive Britax (the one with the cow cover).  And because we are a 2 car family (we-gasp-both work outside the home and both contribute to the daycare pick ups and drop offs) we would actually need to buy TWO of these carseats.  I honestly cried at one point because I got the impression that I was a bad mom for not being able to afford this carseat for my child.

 

However- and maybe it's because I've grown as a parent, or maybe it's just a natural result from reading more and more on MDC, but I've come to realize that we (MDC posters) are not experts, or even people who have our own lives together.  And, quite honestly, a lot of people who I have come to recognize from multiple posts, aren't people who I would take any advice from in real life.  Does that make sense?  That I can read something that a poster writes, find them quite intelligent- someone whose opinions I should hold in high regard- but then I read more and more of what that poster writes, and then something comes out that is just way opposite of what I find intelligent or whatever.  And then it just hits you: why on Earth am I listening to this woman's opinions on working mothers (fill in the blank with your own topic) when she has admitted that she kicks her dog 10 times a day and eats moldy hot dogs (just as an entirely fictional example).

 

I know I'm not getting my point across clearly- I guess I'm just trying to say that before you take offense to anything someone says about your own decisions/choices/life, please stop and remember that chances are this person has their own crazy baggage that prevents them from really being in a position to judge you.  Put on your filter, take what you want to hear, what sounds reasonable to you, and dismiss the rest as just opinions from people whose opinions don't matter to you.  Sorry for the awkward phrasing.  

 

And, back to the original topic, I think the "what makes you crunchy?" and "what makes you un-crunchy?" threads should be combined.  Because honestly, there is no one in this world that is all one or all the other.  For me:

- hospital birth, with epidural attended by a CNM. 

- breastfed to 2.5 years

- pumped twice a day at work to provide bottled milk to daycare, other than that, strictly boob

- work 10 months a year outside the home (in a public school, no less)

- that means DD attends daycare 10 months a year

- fully vaxed, slightly delayed schedule

- vegetarian, mostly organic

- started out cloth diapering, switched to disposables around 1 year

- lots of natural "Waldorf-style" toys

- lots of the other kinds of toys too

- always coslept, although what that looks like now is DD hangs out in my bed for stories and cuddles, then flops down in the little bed pushed up to the big bed when she's ready to sleep- and after the dust settles from our upcoming move, we're going to try to get her in her own room, at least part time

- wore her in slings and the Ergo a TON, until she didn't want to anymore

- oh and as for as the "green" factor I am actually pretty big into all of that, but I've just naturally been like that since I was a little girl, so I don't really give it much thought

 

I'm sure there's more, but this has already turned into my longest post ever yikes2.gif

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#329 of 468 Old 06-16-2011, 12:55 PM
 
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I always loved the phrase "save the drama for yo' mama."  Just saying.

 

I am curious if anyone knows the origins of the phrase "own it," in reference to one's feelings.  I am over thirty by a lot, and have never known anyone my age who uses the phrase...seems to be popular among the under-thirty or so crowd.  Is it from a t.v. show or movie or something?

 

This thread is, by turns, funny and sad, and I really should be doing laundry instead of reading it.


 sleepytime.gif I got tired of my signature, but I still love my children and husband and miss my little brotherkid.gif

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#330 of 468 Old 06-16-2011, 12:56 PM
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Quote:

Originally Posted by riverscout View Post

The title of this thread should now be changed to "beating a dead horse" orngtongue.gif


This is a perfect example of a completely unnecessary, off-topic, unconstructive post. Thank you for posting it directly below my post for clear illustration of my point.  thumb.gif

 

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